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THE 



Cruise of the Montauk 



TO 



BERMUDA, THE WEST INDIES 
AND FLORIDA 



James McQuade 

NEW YORK YACHT CLUB 




NEW YORK 
THOMAS R. KNOX & CO. 

SUCCESSORS TO JAMES MILLER 

813 BROADWAY 
1885 



Copyright, 1884, by 
JAMES McQUADE 






d>. 



:•~^ 



TROWS 

PRINTING AND BOOKBINDING COMPANY, 

NEW YORK. 



MR. JOHN R. PLATT 

THE GENIAL '-UNCLE JOHN," WHOSE JOYOUS PRESENCE ENLIVENS THESE PAGES, 

AS HIS UNFLAGGING CHEERFULNESS ENHANCED THE PLEASURES 
OF A HAPPY VOYAGE, 

I DEDICATE THIS COLLECTION OF LETTERS, DESCRIBING 

THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 



PREFACE. 



This book grew out of a postage-stamp. Possibly the reader 
may think it might better have remained in embryo, but the 
mischief is done, and I have written the opportunity for 
mine enemy — if I have one. 

A few of these letters were published, at the time of 
their receipt, in the Utica Observer and Utica Herald. The 
suggestion that they ought to be collected in a book so 
tickled my self-esteem that I yielded to the implied flattery ; 
but not until I had consulted my friends, Mr. E. Prentiss 
Bailey and Mr. S. N. D. North, editors, respectively, of the 
journals named, whose favorable opinion reinforced the ap- 
peal to my vanity. Even then I had such misgiving that 
personal partiality biased their judgment, that I did not 
decide until the matter was submitted to Mr. Richard H. 
Stoddard, the poet and accomplished man of letters ; but 
when his authority confirmed the commendation of the other 
competent judges I ventured to exhibit my smaU wares, 
shifting a portion of the responsibihty of presentation from 
my own, to abler, shoulders. 

These screeds have no literary pretension. They are 



vi PREFACE. 

simply light, gossipy, and perhaps trifling, narrations of what 
I saw, enveloped in desultory commentaries, without much 
orderly arrangement and, therefore, inartistic in the book- 
making view. But I have no pride of authorship, and shall 
be grateful if they find even a moderate share of accept- 
ance. 

It is proper to say that I alone am accountable for the 
somewhat peculiar views advanced in discussing various 
topics (which, I know, run counter to the generally-accepted 
opinions), and that my voyage-companions are not respon- 
sible for them ; neither are my sponsors, whose encourage- 
ment presents me at the font of literature. In the advocacy 
of my opinions, I am prone to manifest a certain, degree 
of boldness, which may not always be politic, but I invite 
for them the same degree of criticism I apply to differing 
views. I act on the principle that everything should be 
weighed in an unprejudiced scale ; that facts, and not mere 
assertions, ought to form the basis of intelligent opinion ; 
that clamor should not be accepted as argument ; and that 
it is well to heed the counsel of St. Peter: "Be always 
ready to give an answer to every man that asketh you a 
reason for the hope that is in you." 

I have taken the liberty of using names with great free- 
dom, in order to give interest to the dry details of a voyage. 
I trust I have mentioned no name (whether of those we met, 
or of others, introduced by way of illustration) the owner 
of which will find cause for offense in its employment. I 



PREFACE. Vii 

may have written at times with a sharp-pointed pen, but it 
was dipped in no rankhng ink. 

I am afraid to acknowledge with how much diffidence I 
launch my first book venture ; I shall not be surprised if it 
goes down, yet I hope for some propitious breeze of kindly 
consideration. If I am pardoned for this transgression, I 
will promise not to offend again — at least until I shall have 
secured an indulgence from the reading world. 

J. McQ. 

New York, November 4, 1884. 



CRUISE OF THE 
SCHOONER YACHT MONTAUK, N. Y. Y. C. 



Rear-Commodore S. R. Platt, Owner. 

Sailed from Pier 3 N. R., February 21, 1884, at 8.45 a.m. 
Returned (anchored off Stapleton) May 3, 1884, at 1 1. 40 P.M. 



SALOON. 



Rear-Commodore S. R. Platt, N. Y. Y. C. 

{Land a?id Water Cluh"). 

Mr. John R. Platt, N. Y. Y. C. 

{Olympic Club). 

Mr. Thomas B. Asten, N. Y. Y. C. 

{Olympic Club). 

General James McQuade, N. Y. Y. C. 

{Carlton Island Club). 



OFFICERS AND CREW. 



Captain Peter N. Breitfeld Sailing- Master. 

M. L. BuTTKE Mate. 

Richard Zauk Boatswain. 

Charles Goldon Quartermaster , 

Paul Weirauch " 

Olaf Paulson Able Seaman. 

John Peterson " 

Albert Hoch , " 

DiEDRICH BoRNEMAN " 

August Frata " 

Louis Krouser Steward. 

Albert Derr Messroom Steward. 

William Mayo ,' Cook. 

Wilhelm Becker Bov. 



CONTENTS 



CHAPTER I. 



Outward Bound, . . . i 

Prefatory Apology — Postage-stamps — Renowned Travelers : Sind- 
bad, Gulliver, Munchausen, Marco Polo, the Jesuits — Prester 
John — The Fog — Fortune in Misfortune — The Compass — Pro- 
longed Send-off^Departure — The Direct Course — A Smiling 
Sea, J-13 



CHAPTER n. 

Washington's Birthday, .14 

The Banquet — Toasts — The Day we Celebrate — The City of New 
York — The Army and Navy — Woman — The Growl of the Hur- 
ricane, .... 14-26 



CHAPTER in. 

The Storm, . . .27 

No Poppy-juice — Meteorology — Laying to — A Disturbance — Queer 
Fancies — Optical Delusion — Life Insurance — My Own Funeral 
— The Flute— Mont Cenis — Old Theatres — The Banshee — A 
Daughter's Devotion — Corked-up — Seasickness — Depression — 
The Convent Bell, 27-41 



X CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER IV. 

PAGE 

A Harbor Reached, 42 

Still Below— A Dilemma— Short Commons— Under Bare Poles- 
Monsieur Tonson come again— 29.50— The Barometer Watch— 
A let up— Gulf-weed — Flying- fish — Ash Wednesday — Ber- 
muda Light — Hamilton Harbor, 4^-5° 

CHAPTER V. 
Bermuda, . .• • • ■ 5^ 

Bermuda — Settlement — Government — Departed Glories — Reh- 
gion — Revenues — Exports and Imports — Climate — Vegetables 
— Flowers — Water — Fruits — Dock-yard, .... 51-64 

CHAPTER VI. 

Hospitable Bermuda, 65 

Letter-writing — Laziness — In re Darrelli — Festivities — Prospero's 
Grot — The Mess Dinner — Benny Havens, Oh! — Uncle John — 
The Happy Valley — Lily Bower — At Home — The Hand- 
Clasp, .......... 65-83 

CHAPTER VII. 

At Sea, 84 

A Frustrated Conspiracy — Getting Away — A Tortuous Channel — 
Description of Yacht — A Lazy Life — Lounging Occupation — 
Cloud Scenery — Amusements — Sartorial — Pills — Detergent, 84-97 

CHAPTER VIII. 

Basse Terre, 98 

An Abortive Sunrise — Washing Decks — Sea-ditties — A Shanty Song 
— Sombrero — Saba — The Rock-sail — St. Eustatius — St. Chris- 
topher — Basse Terre — The Yankee Jack-knife — Hurricanes, 
Floods, and Pestilence — Dulce-dommn, .... 98-112 



CONTENTS. Xi 

CHAPTER IX. 

PAGE 

St. Kitt's, 113 

Iced-water — Teeth — Tonsorial — Sharks — Roses — Pelicans — A 
Drive — Religions — St. Patrick's Day— Wonderful Adventures 
with Monkeys, ......... 1 13-125 



CHAPTER . X. 

Among the Islands, . . ... . . . . . 126 

Lunacy — The Old Fire-Laddie — St. Patrick's Day Orations : Ire- 
land : A Brave Girl : Michael Ouigley : A Heroic Woman — 
Montserrat — Ethiopian Celts — Guadaloupe — The Caribs — 
Wind-Rainbow — Dominica — St. Pierre — A Great Loss, . 126-146 



CHAPTER XI. 
The Lone Bird, 147 

CHAPTER XII. 

St. Pierre, . . . .■ 157 

The Flag of Our Union — The Alliance — St. Pierre — Negroes — Re- 
ligion — Fish — Blanchisseuses — A Dazzling Costume — A State 
Dinner — Symposium — A Soldier No More — Fireworks, . 157-168 

CHAPTER XIII. 

Martinique, 169 

The Empress Josephine — Morne Rouge — Holy Ground — Jardin des 
Plantes — The Fer-de-lance — Sunday Inspection — Dejeiliier-din- 
atoire — The Loyal Legionier, ...... 1 69-1 81 



xii CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER XIV. 

PAGE 

Sunday in Martinique, 182 

Tropical Fruits— A Full Day's Work Sunday— Vespers— The Club 
— The Opera — II Trovatore — A Midnight Visit — Reminis- 
cence — Lily-Pansy — The Heart's Rain-drop, . . , 182-190 

CHAPTER XV. 
Musical Musings, 191 ' 

Our Chum — Thoughts on Music — Ballads — Plagiarism — " Wearing 
of the Green" — "Sweet By and By" — " Aileen Aroon " vs. 
" Robin Adair "—" Nearer, My God, to Thee"—" Groves of 
Blarney" — " Home, Sweet Home" — -The Spanish Main^ — Gulf 
ofParia — Sunset, 191-209 

CHAPTER XVL 
Port of Spain, 210 

Discovery of Trinidad — Busy Port of Spain — Race Types — Coolies 
— Political Ignorance — Vulgarisms in Language — Botanical 
Gardens — An Impertinent Bird, ..... 210-219 

CHAPTER XVn. 

Trinidad, 220 

Singing-birds — Taxidermy — Metempsychosis — " Keb, Sir ! " — Pi- 
ratical Attack — Button-hole Oratory — French Courtesy — 
Pitch Lake — Asphalt — Flying Oysters — Future of Trinidad, 220-228 

CHAPTER XVHI. 

Through the Caribbean Sea, . . . : . . . 229 

Salutamus — A Corkonian Gaul — The Dragon's Mouth — Columbus 
— An Apology — The Trade-winds — Navigation — Dead-reckon- 
ing — A Timely Warning— Old Fogies — A Tender Hour — The 
Same Old Moon — Serenade — Uncle John Romantic — Gam- 
mon, ........... 229-243 



CONTENTS. XUl 

CHAPTER XIX. 

PAGE 

CURAgOA, • • ^^'^ 

The Pilot— Fortifications— The Dock— Peddlers— Custom House— 
The Church— Geneva — Roman Organ — Jewish Synagogue- 
Commerce— Pirates — Smugglers —Vegetation— Water— Goats 
—Municipal Division — Fw Jneriics — Streets — Romeo and 
Juhet —Vessels— Venezuela — Slavery— Negroes— Dialect— So- 

1 ... 244-261 
long, "^ 

CHAPTER XX. 

CURAgOA, Continued, ^ ^ 

Peter Stuyvesant— Government— Orthoepy— Mr. Gaertse— Wages 
—Straw-plaiting — Grosira — Venomous Reptiles — Cactus— 
Zuikertiuntze-A Frugal Repast— Fireworks— The Governor 
—A Glass of Wine — Religion — Sunday Observance — Light 
Clothing— A Tableau— Historical Sketch— Arcadia, . . 262-281 

CHAPTER XXI. 

Religious Services, 282 

Bird and Beast— Pretty Pets— Misty Fancies— A Cruel Wrong- 
Palm Sunday— The Thrilling Sea— Church Service— Ave Sanc- 
tissima— Prayer— The Sailor's Yarn— Resurgam, . . 282-297 

CHAPTER XXII. 
Port Royal— Kingston, 298 

A Carib Canoe— Port Royal— The Boatswain's Dulcet Cry— Fish- 
serenade— Kingston — Streets— Rodney : Nelson — Market — 
Shadowy Horse — Soldiers — Drive into Country — Virgil— 
Sugar-making— Rum— The Passover— Good Friday— The Jews 
— Nasus Hebraicas, -9^-3 ^ 3 



xiv CONTENTS. 

CHAPTER XXIIL 

PAGE 

Jamaica, 3^4 

Historical — Buccaneers — Representative Government — Emancipa- 
tion — Native Americans — The Suffrage — Educational and Prop- 
erty Qualifications — Humbug — Population — Productions — 
Coolies — Cemeterial — Religious Divisions — Imports and Ex- 
ports — Luxurious Bosh, • 3i4-3'3i 

CHAPTER XXIV. 
Into the Gulf of Mexico, 332 

A Short Sail — Filibusters — Sirens — Sailor's Hornpipe — The Lone 
Fisherman — New Line to Havana — Easter Sunday — A Miracle 
— Gulf of Mexico — Gallic Downfall — Chin-music — Havana, 332-340 

CHAPTER XXV. 

Sunday vs. Sabbath, . . . ■ 341 

Exordium — The Decalogue — The Sabbath — Douay vs. King James 
— The Gospels — Sunday — Constantine — The Reformation — 
Luther, Calvin, Melancthon — Augsburg Confession — Queen 
Elizabeth — Old Puritans — New England — Modern Puritans — 
The Legal Sabbath — Rest and Recreation — Faith — Perora- 
tion, 341-358 

CHAPTER XXVI. 

Havana, . 359 

The Streets — Soldiers — Pohcemen — Yellow Fever — The Foul Har- 
bor — Vglunteers — A Minder — Aguero — Political — Morro Castle 
— ^Jelly-fish — A Night Scene — Domestic Cigars — Whistling- 
Milk — Oxen — The Spanish Yoke, ..... 359-372 



CONTENTS. XV 

CHAPTER XXVII. 

PAGE 

Cuban Customs, 373 

Slavery — Shopkeepers — Convicts — Cigars — Lotteries — Sunday — 
The Cathedral— A Full Day's Work— Bull-fights— The Pilgrim- 
age — Succotash — Echoes of Travel — Beautiful Faith — The Ger- 
mans — Emblems — Catalans — Exit Romeria, . . . 373-391 

CHAPTER XXVIII. 

Mr. Poynings Roggster, . . . ' . . . . .'392 

CHAPTER XXIX. 

Florida, 406 

Departure from Havana — Cuba Pobre — Rotten Currency — Fish- 
ing — Mourning Pharos — St. Augustine — Jacksonville — Palatka 
— A Gentle Swear — A Cow Railroad — Minorcans — Fruitful 
Florida, .......... 406-419 

CHAPTER XXX. 

Home Again, 420 

A Red-letter Day — Song of the Legion — Homeward Bound— The 
Maypole — Drunkenness — Temperance vs. Teetotalism — The 
Bible — False Prophets — Mohammedanism — The Bishop's Tem- 
perance Sermon — Puns — Erasmus in Praise of Folly — The 
Montauk Song — Finis, ....... 420-441 



THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 



Lord Bateman was a noble lord, 
A noble lord of high degree ; 
He shipped himself on board a ship, 
Some foreign country he would see. 



CHAPTER I. 

OUTWARD BOUND. 



Prefatory Apology — Postage-stamps — Renowned Travelers : Sindbad, 
Gulliver, Munchausen, Marco Polo, the Jesuits— Prester John— 
The Fog— Fortune in Misfortune— The Compass— Prolonged Send- 
off— Departure— The Direct Course — A Smiling Sea. 

Hamilton, Bermuda, February 28, 1884. 
When I accepted the invitation of my kind friend, Commo- 
dore Piatt, to accompany him in his yacht on a winter's 
cruise to the West Indies, you asked me to write you from 
beyond the seas, so that you might receive letters embellished 
with foreign postage-stamps. I was somewhat nettled at this 
request to drop a line merely to hook up varied postal de- 
signs from abroad, for it implied incapacity to make my cor- 
respondence interesting, assuming that all the value would be 
on the outside, like a new hat on the head of a dude ; so I 
resolved, in a spirit of pique, to essay the writing of letters 
that would have intrinsic value as well as outside stamp at- 
tractions. 



2 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

Whether I shall succeed is problematical. My literary- 
ability is of doubtful merit, and if I have any skill at all it is 
not in the line of description ; at least I have never made an 
attempt in that direction, and have grave distrust of powers 
which have not been exercised by, nor subjected to the test 
of, experience. I have traveled in many lands, but never 
wrote anything from them save infrequent laconic epistles to 
the family, containing nothing important except requests for 
further remittances. But I shall make an effort on this cruise 
(the greatest effort of my life) under an extraordinary stimu- 
lus. I shall dip my pen in the fountain of deep affection, and 
bring loving inspiration to the surface of these letters. If I 
fail to make them entertaining, you will at least receive the 
objects of your desire — the postage-stamps. If you should 
happen to find anything attractive, I shall be fully recom- 
pensed, in whatever pleasure you may derive from their peru- 
sal, for the pains I shall take to render them worthy your 
acceptance. 

It is possible that I may be able to present some jottings 
of personal observation not absolutely devoid of novelty, as 
few, except those who have visited them, are familiar with the 
West Indies. Europe is so well known, through the multi- 
tude of descriptions by tourists, that it is difficult to pick up 
anything noteworthy in its well-gleaned fields ; but we are 
comparatively so uninformed regarding the islands I am about 
to visit, that something may be found to communicate not 
altogether trite and common-place. I have had a thrilling ex- 
perience already ; nothing remarkable in the occurrence 
itself, for the winds have blown and the waves have rolled 
ever since "the Spirit moved upon the face of the waters," 
but it was a novel encounter with a hurricane in a smaller 
vessel that I had ever been in before during a gale. The 
attempt to convey an idea of the little unpleasantness through 



OUTWARD BOUND. 3 

which we passed will involve my experimental effort at de- 
scription, and if I succeed, I shall be encouraged to proceed 
with less difficult subjects. Not that I would be presump- 
tuous enough to venture upon describing a storm at sea, for 
it would require an able writer to portray by adequate ex- 
pression that sublime exhibition of majestic force. I shall 
simply tell you how I felt about it. 

I do not expect in this brief voyage to meet with wonder- 
ful adventures, such as are recorded in the veracious chron- 
icles of Sindbad the Sailor, or Gulliver's travels. I take occa- 
sion to remark here that, when a boy, before the days of 
dime novels and the trashy compounds that now supply the 
youthful mind, I devoured the pages of Gulliver. I never 
believed all the marvels contained in Swift's great work. I 
regarded Gulliver as some graduate of Trinity College, Dub- 
hn, sent out as a special correspondent, by an enterprising 
newspaper, on a poHtical survey, who drew upon his imagina- 
tion to offset the drafts on his publisher. It is now generally 
conceded — except out in Kansas, where they still read the 
agricultural columns in farmers' journals — that the adventures 
of Baron Munchausen are fabulous. Mungo Park told the 
truth, perhaps, about the compassionate negro women ; but 
I never credited the description of certain animals by Vol- 
taire. The voyages of Captain Cook are full of interest ; and 
funny things were "did" by Captain Kidd "as he sailed." 
The invasion of Mexico by Cortez afforded material for nar- 
ratives of absorbing interest ; only excelled in modern times 
by the thrilling adventures of the daring Sergeant Bates, 
who fearlessly invaded the United States with a United 
States flag, and ran the risk of having it seized for debt at a 
village tavern. Pizarro is a figure enchanting to the young 
reader, who is afflicted by the sorrows of Cora. 

The travels of Father De Smet among the Indians be- 



4 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

yond the Rocky Mountains, are highly entertaining ; as are 
the accounts of the discovery of Peruvian bark by the Jesuit 
missionaries in Paraguay. It is the bark of a tree. Rome 
was saved by the hissing of geese, but it remained for the 
Jesuits to work a miracle and make a tree bark to chase 
away fever. It may have been a deception, however, for 
there is a story told (possibly an invention of the Pope Joan 
order) that the bark was produced by one of their own Or- 
der, an Irish priest named Ouinquin, suffering from the influ- 
enza. He is supposed to have been a relation of a sailor 
nicknamed Tar Ouin, a beastly fellow, mentioned unfavor- 
ably by Shakespeare and other chroniclers of the times, but 
who, if he lived in our day, would probably become a candi- 
date for the Legislature on the Reform ticket. There are cer- 
tain antiquated notions about the sanctity of the marital rela- 
tion which, in the progress of the age, require readjustment. 
Some, however, readjust themselves without regard to law. 

I don't expect to see anything in my travels so strange as 
the land described by Prester John, in his letter to the Em- 
peror Manuel Comnenus, which is supposed to have been 
written by his private secretary, one Morey. The Morey 
letter is still preserved in the tomb of Barnum as a meinento 
mori. I shall not give all the marvelous things he says in 
this letter of Prester John, for the Morey writes, the less I 
believe, but here are some extracts. He commences mod- 
estly enough : 

" John, Priest by the Almighty power of God and the 
Might of our Lord Jesus Christ, King of Kings, and Lord of 
Lords, to his friend Emanuel, Prince of Constantinople, greet- 
ing, wishing him health, prosperity, and the continuance of 
Divine favor." 

His household service was performed by a small staff, con- 
sisting of the following servants : 



OUTWARD BOUND, 5 

"Seven kings wait upon us monthly, in turn, with sixty- 
two dukes, two hundred and fifty-six counts and marquises ; 
and twelve archbishops sit at table with us on our right, and 
twenty bishops on the left, besides the patriarch of St. Thomas, 
the Sarmatian Protopope, and the Archpope of Susa. Our 
lord high steward is a primate and king, our cup-bearer is an 
archbishop and king, our chamberlain a bishop and king, 
our marshal a king and abbot." 

The palace in which " our Supereminency " resides is par- 
tially described as follows : 

" Ceilings, joists, and architrave are of Sethym wood, the 
roof of ebony, which can never catch fire. Over the gable 
of the palace are, at the extremities, two golden apples, in 
each of which are two carbuncles, so that the gold may shine 
by day, and the carbuncles by night. The greater gates of 
the palace are of sardius, with the horn of the horned snake 
inwrought, so that no one can bring poison within." 

" The other portals are of ebony. The windows are of 
crystal ; the tables are partly of gold, partly of amethyst, and 
the columns supporting the tables are partly of ivory, partly 
of amethyst. The court in which we watch the jousting is 
floored with onyx, in order to incrtuse the courage of the 
combatants." 

This description of his house maybe exaggerated. There 
is always a little latitude given in these matters. Perhaps 
this was an advertisement of sale on a mortgage given to his 
plumber to pay for stopping a leak in the water-pipe. 

The territory of Prester John contained a variety of ani- 
mals, as will be seen by the following list, which reads like 
one of Faughpore's menagerie posters : 

" Our land is the home of elephants, dromedaries, camels, 
crockadiles, meta-collinarum, cametennus, tensevetes, wild 
apes, white and red lions, white bears, white merles, crickets, 



6 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

griffins, tigers, lamias, hyenas, wild horses, wild oxen, and 
wild men, men with horns, one-eyed, men with eyes before 
and behind, centaurs, fauns, satyrs, pygmies, forty-ell-high 
giants, Cyclopses, and similar women ; it is the home too of 
the phenix, and of nearly ah living animals. We have some 
people subject to us who feed on the flesh of men and of 
prematurely born animals, and who never fear death. When 
any of these people die, their friends and relatives eat him 
ravenously, for they regard it as a main duty to munch 
human flesh. Their names are Gog and Magog, Anie, Agit, 
Azenach, Fommeperi, Befari, Conei-Samante, Agrimandri, 
Vintefolei, Casbei, Alanei. These and similar nations were 
shut in behind lofty mountains by Alexander the Great, tow- 
ard the North. We lead them at our pleasure against our 
foes, and neither man nor beast is left undevoured if our 
Majesty gives the requisite permission. And when all our 
foes are eaten, then we return with our hosts home again." 

This is an economical way to dispose of prisoners ; it saves 
the cost of transportation and maintenance. Instead of being 
compelled to maintain them, they maintain you. Had this 
system been in operation during our war, we would not now 
be compelled to endure the infliction of flatulent political 
orators who ruthlessly "proceed to state and relate how our 
poor prisoners suffered at Andersonville." In the list of 
monsters I find no mention of the accident-insurance agent. 
He must be a modern animal. Would that he were of the 
Megatherii or Plesiosauri. 

I fancy that Prester John was a mythical potentate, al- 
though the indefatigable traveller Sir John Mandevil explains 
his priestly title, and Marco Polo identifies him with a Tartar 
Khan. Uncle John (no relation of Prester John) remarked 
that if the description of this truculent despot be correct, he 
must have been a hard case ; a sort of austere Khan. I 



OUTWARD BOUND, 7 

don't know what he meant ; it was some poor pun, I suppose. 
My main reason for doubting the existence of this mighty- 
monarch is the claim put forth in this extract from his letter : 

" All riches such as are upon the world, our Magnificence 
possesses in superabundance. With us no one lies, for he 
who speaks a lie is thenceforth regarded as dead ; he is no 
more thought of, or honored by us. No vice is tolerated 
by us." 

Surely this must be a forgery. The idea of a country 
where nobody lies. We cannot grasp it in our favored land, 
where nearly everybody lies ; except railroad managers who 
become millionaires. , 

It is evident that Ireland was within his dominions, for he 
says, *' Our land streams with honey, and is overflowing with 
milk. In one region grows no poisonous herb, nor does a 
querulous frog ever quack in it ; no scorpion exists, nor does 
any serpent glide among the grass, nor can any poisonous 
animals exist in it, or injure any one." 

Yet, in the face of this, the Irish St. Brandan sailed away 
from the land of my forefathers in search of Paradise, and 
found it somewhere east of Ireland. The Green Isle itself 
would have been selected as the site of Paradise but for a 
climatic obstacle : the snake who tempted Eve couldn't live 
on Irish ground. I mention this to rebut the claim put forth 
by certain over-zealous members of the Land League, that 
Ireland was actually the Garden of Eden until the landlord 
came in. As St. Brandan found Paradise in the East, there 
is no use of my looking for it in the West Indies. Besides, 
my paradise nearer home is good enough for me. 

You must not expect me to discover Atlantis or the For- 
tunate Isles, for I shall be too busy, keeping an eye on the 
steward to see that he has the mineral-water box packed with 
ice, and jealously watching the cook lest he delay the dinner; 



8 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

which duties devolve on me as navigator of the ship's saloon. 
Still I shall send you something that may vary the dull ex- 
panse of news in the Utica newspapers, regarding the color 
of Reuben Snif kin's new barn on Quality Hill, the quantity of 
doughnuts contributed at Elder Silas Tartough's donation- 
party at Empeyville, or conveying the startling intelligence 
that Ellie Dodkins had gone to spend two days with Daisie 
Schlunker at Log City, 

You know we intended to sail on the nth of February, 
and the yacht was at the dock that day, with stores aboard, 
patent-leather pumps packed, and everything ship-shape, 
ready for the voyage. I provided a sou'wester (a head cover- 
ing of oiled silk, something like a poke-bonnet with a long 
cape, a sort of cross between a coal-scuttle and a sun-um- 
brella), water-proof boots (the maker wants me to mention his 
name here, but I won't), and a heavy india rubber overcoat, 
formerly lyricised as hooptedoodendoo. I have not worn 
them yet, but I feel the nautical influence of possession, and 
already speak of north as " noathe," and no longer verdantly 
talk of going down-stairs to take something. All we needed 
for a start was a nor' west wind (we don't say northwest in the 
navy) and the lifting of a pertinacious fog, which stuck like a 
book-peddler, or a porous plaster to a gauze undershirt in 
August. We waited patiently for ten days, but the fog didn't 
lift as much as a shoveler in the street-cleaning brigade ; nor 
did the wind shift, but was as obstinate as Carl Schurz in his 
adherence to one political party. That nor'wester sulked 
away up in Alaska or somewhere else, utterly disregarding 
our bland invitations to pay us a visit east and join in a send- 
off. We had a send-off every day ; our friends congregating 
in hilarious numbers, devouring the ship's stores, and wishing 
us bon voyage with kindly fervor and unabated enthusiasm 
which seemed to grow with what it fed upon. That send-off 



OUTWARD BOUND. 9 

became as monotonous as the Mulligan letters, sermons de- 
scribing the novel horrors of intemperance, or diatribes on 
the infamy of Governors who pardon men improperly sen- 
tenced so as to override our liberties with convict votes. 
Undaunted by the unpropitious weather, our visitors contin- 
ued to throng to the send-ofF, making away with edibles, bib- 
ables and fumibles, and heartily promising to call again 
to-morrow, with an alacritous cheerfulness and sympathetic 
vigor that evinced the greatest interest in our detention. We 
were enabled during this sluggish period to feel the force of 
La Rochefoucauld's apophthegm, that we always derive more 
or less consolation from the misfortunes of even our best 
friends. Yet we found much comfort in these visits, without 
which our stay, tied up to the dock, would have been ex- 
tremely dull, dreary, and disagreeable. The tie that bound 
us so long to that send-off was a strong one, not easily 
broken. 

The delay, although vexatious to the voyagers, had its 
compensation for me, as it enabled me to attend a ceremony 
where my presence was particularly desired by those inter- 
ested. It was a coincidence worthy of attention, that the 
very afternoon of this event the wind veered around suddenly, 
coming out of the northwest, the skies cleared, and we were 
permitted to depart, as if the weather had been waiting for 
this event before giving us a clearance to sail. Whether this 
was a providential interposition, as was claimed by some 
pious ladies who had assailed Providence with prayerful im- 
portunity, I am unable to say. I have not the ear of the 
Court, and am not consulted regarding the framing of decrees 
at Special Term ; but it certainly was remarkable that the 
clearing of the sky and. the performance of this ceremony 
were coincident. It was regarded as an auspicious omen, 
not only because the opportune detention rendered my par 



lO THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

ticipation possible, and spared the disappointment that ab- 
sence would have caused ; but because of the superstition 
connected with the old saying, " Happy the bride the sun 
shines on." 

I bought a compass. Not a large one, for I am not strong 
enough as a mariner yet to wrestle with a full-sized instru- 
ment, but a miniature affair, to hang on my watch-chain as a 
charm. I can getpoints in navigation on that compass ; I could 
see them as soon as I put it on. What is a sailor without a com- 
pass ? Having shipped behind the mast, that guide became 
indispensable. Without it, I might have lost my bearings in 
tacking up Broadway, and strayed into Trinity Church in- 
stead of the Stevens House, or gone ashore at the City Hall, 
and been wrecked on promontorial Hubert O. Thompson. 

At length, on the twenty-first day of February, A.D. 1884, 
the good schooner yacht Montauk, flying the broad pennant 
of Rear Commodore Samuel R. Piatt, New York Yacht Club, 
left her berth, at Pier 3 North River, and sailed away. As 
we were towed out of the slip before nine o'clock, it was too 
early for our friends to give us the final send-off; for which 
extensive preparation had been made, with full-dress rehear- 
sals and consumption of genuine properties, every day for 
nearly two weeks. As they were not present to receive any- 
thing else, we gave them the slip ; that is, we left it behind, 
and they can occupy it if they pay wharfage. That send-off 
was hnked sweetness (with a dash of bitters and bit of lemon- 
peel) long drawn out. It must be adhering to the vicinity of 
South Ferry yet. It certainly did not come off. It may be 
wandering around there like an uneasy ghost, crowned with 
faded flowers and smelling of rum and tobacco. After suc- 
cessive adjournments from day to day, when the time came 
for the sine die motion, there was no one on the dock to make 
it. We had often welcomed the coming guest, but there was 



OUTWARD BOUND. II 

none to speed our parting. As there were no starters in the 
stand to give us the send-off, we went off on our own hook, 
to Sandy Hook. 

It was bitter cold as we sailed down the Bay, and we only 
remained on deck long enough to acknowledge the farewell 
salute from Miss Walke's flag at Cliff Cottage ; when, as it 
was "a nipping and an eager air," we went below, eager to 
utilize the proper facilities afforded there for nipping. We 
knew, however, that many hours would 'not elapse before the 
heavy clothing would be thrown aside and we would be lux- 
uriating in sun-baths, shirt-sleeved and straw-hatted. Soon 
after the tug-boat cast off, the nor'wester, which had blown 
tingling blasts all the way down when we didn't need its help, 
treacherously deserted us, and we dawdled along for some 
hours in a calm. A moderate breeze sprang up in the after- 
noon, and we started lazily on the direct course, S.S.E., for 
Bermuda. 

There had been a great difference of opinion regarding 
the adoption of this short course instead of the longer one 
usually taken — down the coast to Cape Hatteras, thence 
across to the islands. Strong arguments were offered for 
both, but the weight of opinion was decidedly in favor of the 
coast route. When it was learned that Commodore Piatt had 
characteristically determined to keep on the straight path, 
there were many dubious shakes of the head and prognosti- 
cations of disaster among the sea-going cognoscenti. One 
newspaper, which contained a description of the yacht, pre- 
dicted that if this course were pursued there would be 
" divine services aboard the Montauk ; " which was true in 
any event, as religious observance is habitual with us on a 
cruise. This prediction, however, contemplated ministrations 
in extremis. The foreboding came near being right, but not 
quite. It was a tight squeeze ; but the Montauk is too proud 



12 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

to go down in anything but a hurricane of the first magni- 
tude. It must be first-class, A i. No second-rate gale can 
make her yield, if you please. 

The claim in favor of the coast route is, that in case of 
heavy weather some accessible port might be made, while by 
the direct course, in the event of a hurricane, disablement, or 
serious accident of any kind, the yacht would be on a com- 
paratively unfrequented waste of waters, out of the track of 
vessels, far from succor, ' except such as fortunate chance 
might bring. That this objection was well founded, is evident 
from the fact that during our seven days' voyage to this port 
we saw no vessels. 

Perhaps I can explain the difference in routes in this way : 
Suppose you were on the northwest corner of Washington 
Square and desired to go to Fourth Street. Taking the 
direct course, you would go through the square transversely, 
instead of going along Waverley Place and down University 
Place, which would be the usual course, to make it analogous 
to this description of the Hatteras route. In one case, you 
would have the houses along the street for refuge should ac- 
cident happen ; in the other, you would be in the open square, 
with only those near who happened to be passing. 

It may be that the adoption of the direct course showed 
more courage than discretion, but I am glad we took it, for 
during three days the seaworthiness of the Montauk was 
demonstrated by extreme tests to which yachts are rarely 
subjected ; fully justifying the confidence of Commodore Piatt, 
who, relying on her stanchness and buoyancy, disregarded 
ominous warnings and sailed straight for Bermuda. The 
Montauk is a new boat, not yet two years old, and while she 
had exhibited unequaled saihng qualities, many yachting 
qidd-nuncs prophesied that she might do well enough in sum- 
mer-cruising waters, but would fail if she encountered heavy 



OUTWARD BOUND. 1 3 

seas, to meet which keel-boats were better adapted by their 
construction. We can now laugh at the croakers. She has 
come out of the test triumphantly, and, while renowned as an 
unrivaled swift sailer, can claim to be quite as good as an able 
sea-boat. A noble yacht is the Montauk. If she were not, 
I might not be here to write you this letter. 

We sailed along under a clear sky Thursday, not making 
much headway, but basking lazily in the sunshine. It blew 
quite fresh at night, making it necessary to reef the mainsail. 
Sleep was difficult, owing to the unaccustomed motion, and 
the lee-boards were required, but toward morning the wind 
moderated, and Friday opened delightfully warm and balmy. 
We sat on deck, without overcoats, and enjoyed keenly the 
beautiful spectacle. There were no high waves running, but 
the sea pulsed in smiling ripples ; the dark blue expanse, re- 
lieved by gleams which burst out in unending repetition,, was 
like some vast plaque of oxidized silver, from the indented 
laminations of which rays of reflected light glinted in multi- 
tudinous sparkles. 



CHAPTER II. 

WASHINGTON'S BIRTHDAY. 

The Banquet — Toasts — The Day we Celebrate — The City of New York 
— The Army and Navy — Woman — The Growl of the Hurricane. 

Hamilton Harbor, February 28, 1884. 
It was Washington's Birthday, and we observed the Feast 
of the Father of his Country in due and ancient form. Being 
but the second day out, we had abundance of delicacies 
aboard, which had escaped the ravening touch of the send- 
off, to eke out the " salt-horse " and " dandy-funk " on which 
we poor sailors suffer. The bill of fare was excellent. Our 
steward, Louis Krouser, is well up in the duties of his most 
important office, and the cook, venerable Doctor William 
Mayo, aged sixty-nine, descendant of an African prince, is a 
chef worthy to wear the cordon bleu in the kitchen of an am- 
bassador (always saving and excepting the American). After 
the cloth was removed, toasts appropriate to the occasion 
were offered and responded to in the usual manner. 

In offering the first toast, "The Day we Celebrate," the 
Commodore said : 

" Gentlemen: In proposing this sentiment I beg leave to 
premise by congratulating you upon the propitious breezes 
that are wafting us gently to our first harbor of destination. 
Before our departure some fears were expressed by anxious 
friends that, owing to continuous fogs and adverse winds, we 
might experience rough weather in the Gulf Stream, but we 



WASHINGTON'S BIRTHDAY. 1 5 

have entered it without observing any unusual commotion. 
We have not been compelled to take the ordinary precautions 
and set the table-racks, for here we are, gliding along on an 
even keel as comfortably as if seated around a table in the 
Gilsey House. I am happy to say that there is assurance of 
continued good weather." 

(Here I mumbled a feeble protest, based upon a cloud- 
observation I had taken in the afternoon, but in my fresh 
seamanship I dared not assert too boldly the conviction I en- 
tertained ; which will be referred to further on.) The Com- 
modore continued : 

" The day we celebrate is a theme for the loftiest inspira- 
tion of the poet, the orator's most impassioned rhetoric, the 
grandest efforts of the painter's pencil. I cannot do justice 
to Washington, and shall not dwell at length upon his colos- 
sal figure in history. Although he owned slaves, drank 
rum, and played cards, this truly great and good man, like 
Deacon Richard Smith, had none of the blemishes which un- 
fortunately disfigure the private characters of many in public 
life. His slaves were well fed, well clothed, well treated ; he 
was kind to them, and indeed occupied toward them a sort 
of patriarchal relation. His rum was good ; none of your 
modern simulations and D. T. blendings, and he played a 
good game of whist. He was a soldier stanch and firm, who 
could not be beguiled into going in on a weak hand, nor 
could he be raised out if he held them strong. Take him for 
all in all, we shall not probably look upon his like again in 
the presidential chair : I do not intend to become a candi- 
date. Washington himself could not hope for success in these 
days, and for the same reason that I would decline the nomi- 
nation, even were I dragged to the Lupercal by Keely's 
motor — he could not tell a lie. 

"This owner of slaves, drinker of rum, and player of cards ; 



l6 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

this great soldier, wise statesman, incorruptible patriot, and 
dignified and courtly gentleman, will forever hold the highest 
place in the regard of his countrymen, as fast as they arrive 
from Ireland and Germany. Who can estimate the magni- 
tude of the boon conferred on mankind by the event we are 
met to commemorate ; for which the world' is indebted in 
some degree to his worthy parents, Mr. and Mrs. Washing- 
ton ; to whose memory I beg leave to return the sincere 
thanks of this gathering. For this purpose, as poor old Sam 
Glen of the Herald used to say, let us ' gather.' 

<* If their son had not been born, or had turned out to be 
a daughter, there would be no city of magnificent distances ; 
no monument to mark the tardiness of niggardly recognition 
of greatness under a Republican form of government ; no 
Boss Shepard, by whom virulent partisan journals could 
'point a moral and adorn a tale' of injustice and inapprecia- 
tion. If Washington had not been born, there would have 
been no Capitol bearing his name to enframe the Honorable 
Peleg Slobber, our distinguished member of Congress ; and 
form a background to display the shining virtues of Senator 
Vorean. Gentlemen ! fill your glasses to the first regular 
toast : The day we celebrate, which gave us a Washington, 
to fill the world with the glory of his patriotism, and estab- 
lished a Republic so that Slobber might draw his pay regu- 
larly as an M.C., and Vorean display the beauties of Christian 
statesmanship." 

The next regular toast was : " The City of New York ; a 
refuge for the oppressed of all nations, the western reftighiin 
peccatornmr 

The Commissioner was called upon to respond. He read 
from notes, which were renewed from time to time as they 
fill Dew. He said : 

" I thank the distinguished presiding officer and this vast 



WASHINGTON'S BIRTHDAY. 1 7 

assemblage for the honor conferred in selecting me to re- 
spond to this toast when there are present so many better 
qualified than I to do it justice. Who can do justice to New 
York? Not the judges of the criminal courts and police 
magistrates ; there are not enough of them. Nor do we want 
equal and exact justice to all in its fullest extent. In our 
young country we must facilitate immigration, we must fos- 
ter and encourage an increase in the number of inhabitants, 
so as to develop our resources, and the strict administration of 
justice would have the effect of depopulating our beautiful city. 
We have a beautiful city, clean, well paved ; carefully swept, 
and garnished with chijfonnieres of hoopless old ash-barrels 
■a.ViA jardinieres filled with cabbage-stalks and potato-parings. 
Look at our sweet-smelling public places and interior parks, 
the ventilators of over-charged atmospheric fetidness. Let 
us wander, in leafy seclusion, through shady paths, in the 
sylvan coverts of the Battery, where, with no discordant 
sound of jarring traffic to disturb our contemplations, we can 
enjoy the beauties of nature, soothed by the warblings of 
sweet birds filling the air with melodious iron-filings. Let 
us watch Strephon and Chloe and Hezekiah and Amaryllis, 
innocently disporting amid the far-reaching groves, in uncon- 
scious ignorance of the worldly wickedness that prowls out- 
side the precincts of this Arcadian retreat. The gentle shep- 
herds no longer pipe upon oaten straws, but the voice of the 
accordeon is heard in bosky echoes ; likewise doth the en- 
trancing strain of the hand-organ replace the plainings of the 
whispering lute. Then do musical cranks abound. The 
shepherd wears not as of yore bunches of gay ribbon at his 
knee, but there may be a deftly-embroidered patch on the 
quarter-deck of his corduroys. Nor doth the shepherdess 
coquettishly shorten her gown to display a shapely leg en- 
cased in dainty stockings, quaintly clocked with colors bright ; 



1 8 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

but she flasheth the Parisian diamonds of the Bowery, and 
twirls the spinning wheel of the shin-scraping baby-wagon. 
Now do nymphs on roller-skates glide gracefully over the 
green sward of asphalt, and fauns frohcsome emerge from 
trellised fountains to gambol with dryads among the rose- 
bushes ; while the aborous benches in the pastoral scene are 
filled with shepherd " crooks." See our breathing-places for 
the poor ! Look at breezy St. John's Park ! 

" In what other city can be found such beneficent public 
institutions ? We have Tammany Hall, the Society for the 
Prevention of Cruelty to Animals, the Museum of Anatomy, 
the Shepherd's Fold, and the Association for the Erection of 
a Pedestal for the Bartholdi Statue of ' Liberty Enlightening 
the World ' under a bushel of mortar, contributed after much 
arduous solicitation by the generous American people, in 
recognition of what France did for us in the War for Inde- 
pendence. Bartholdi exegit cere monumentum perennius. 
His design will outlast the pedestal brass, which, notwith- 
standing frantic appeals, doesn't seem to be forthcoming. 

'' Speaking of brass, I am reminded of the Tax Commis- 
sion, which assesses property with that liberal disregard of 
relative values adapted to the wants of a free people, particu- 
larly that portion that shirks off the tyrannical yoke of taxa- 
tion. 

" Gentlemen, did time permit, I could dwell for hours on 
the beauties of New York. Consider our devotion to the 
fine arts ; our statue of Lincoln, our great picture-galleries, 
open for all — Harper's, Leslie s, Puck's, and Judge's. Look at 
our Clubs ! Where will you find one so willing and powerful 
as the New York policeman's ? But I cannot enumerate all 
these sahent features which prove that a government of the 
people, for the people, by the people, finds its most perfect 
development of botching the charter by rural legislators, in 



WASHINGTON'S BIRTHDAY. 1 9 

the great and good city of New York, together with the 
County of the same." 

The Commissioner's remarks were received with tremen- 
dolis applause, for it was evident he " knows how it is him- 
self," and can confidently challenge an answer to the imper- 
tinent governmental interrogatory. What are you going to 
do about it ? 

To me was assigned the task of responding'to the third 
regular toast : "The Army and Navy." I said : 

" Fellow-voyagers ! It is with unfeigned reluctance that 
I approach the consideration of this theme, of such over- 
whelming magnitude that I doubt my ability to do it justice. 
Whether we view the Army of the United States, in its en- 
tirety, through a small field-glass, or in detachments, pursu- 
ing industrious deserters, it is, like General Jackson in the 
song, * an honor to the country and a terror to the foe.' 
There have been larger armies, but none that have received 
more attention in Congressional debates, and been made the 
recipients of more profuse renewals of the assurances of dis- 
tinguished inconsideration. When I think of the imposing 
proportions of that grand army, my soul swells with pride. 
Even now, with comparatively little turbulence, there are in 
some places as many as three privates and a corporal to a 
hundred miles, massed along the frontier to protect it from 
the depredations of Indians on the sutlers' stores. For what 
is the army without the sutler ? it is principally sutler. In 
the soldier, we have a sutler friend ; and, than the Indian, 
where can be found a subtler foe ? 

"It is almost unnecessary to say that our magnificent 
Navy commands the admiration of the world ; and that por- 
tion of New Jersey situated on Chesequakes Creek, where it 
might all ride with ease and safety were it not for the Bergen 
Point mosquitoes, against which iron-clads afford no adequate 



20 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

protection. The voyages of that briny old sea-dog, Secretary 
Chandler, from Newport to Martha's Vineyard, fill volumi- 
nous annual departmental reports with matter far more inter- 
esting to the naval contractor than recitals of the heroic deeds 
of La Perouse, Van Tromp, Drake, Nelson, and Paul Jones. 
What would our navy be without the contractor ? It is prin- 
cipally contractor. It affords an example of economical and 
effective expenditure, prudently placed " where it will do the 
most good," before election, not paralleled by any of the 
great maritime powers, from Saxony to Bohemia. They may 
pilfer us on other appropriations, but they cannot Robeson 
our Navy." 

Here the Commodore interrupted and said severely that 
politics was interdicted on the yacht, that we were off for 
pleasure, like the man going to Europe without his family, 
and did not want the American bane of partisan discussion 
introduced. I made a suggestion about using the bane to 
get rid of the Roach in our war-vessels, but the Commodore 
indignantly shouted silence ! so I silenced. The rest of that 
speech — in which I intended to sail in on frugal appropria- 
tions of the River and Harbor Bill for dredging Cohoes Falls, 
and placing the rivers of John Brown's tract, and the West 
Canada Creek harbors in proper defensive condition — was 
drowned in the Commodore's rebuke, and is lost forever to 
an admiring reading public. 

The last regular toast was " Woman." Uncle John was 
chosen to respond to this, as no one else present was so well 
qualified, from long years of familiarity with the topic. It 
required some effort to induce him to undertake the response, 
for, he said, a woman requires nobody to speak for her ; she 
is able and willing to do it for herself. Then, the speeches 
thus far were in a mocking vein, and he could not treat this 
subject facetiously. It was customary at pubHc dinners to 



WASHINGTON'S BIRTHDAY. 21 

say witty things and crack jokes about the ladies, but he 
couldn't bring himself to speak lightly of them. He was an 
old fogy, with obsolete ideas, who retained that respect for 
women which seems to be lost in the sneering coarseness of 
this epoch of emasculated dudery. 

Upon our assurance that jocularity would not be expected, 
that he might be as sedate as he pleased, and wouldn't be 
considered out of place were he as solemn as a deaf man at 
the Opera, he consented to speak, and responded with elo- 
quent feeling, showing plainly that under the snow-laden 
foliage of his frosty pow lay verdant tenderness and manly 
devotion to woman. After some hesitation. Uncle John 
commenced : 

" Ladies and gentlemen " (When reminded that there 

were no ladies present, he said, "There are always ladies 
present in our hearts, and I am going to speak from my 
heart ! " — a gallant remark of the gay old squire of dames that 
evoked loud applause, as we all felt the sweet presence when 
he spoke.) 

" Mr. Chairman, I feel that I am not qualified to do jus- 
tice to this subject. I approach it with some trepidation, for 
I am a married man, and one is apt to be placed in a false 
position by these discussions. If he is calm, critical, just, 
and unimpassioned, he renders himself liable to the imputa- 
tion of evincing the cold cynicism of disillusioning experience, 
of manifesting the proverbial contempt bred of familiarity ; 
if, on the other hand, he is exuberant and unstinted in his 
admiration, he incurs the suspicion of extolling a cynosure, 
of pretending to generalize while having in view some partic- 
ular object of enthusiasm, in whose regard he feeds the flick- 
ering light that burns before the shrine of beauty. Then 
there 's a row in the family. In this remark I desire to have 
it understood that I am strictly impersonal. Those who 



22 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

know me need no assurance that I am incapable of giving the 
slightest cause for matrimonial infelicity. Indeed I might 
claim to be worthy of being regarded as Caesar's wife's 
brother. 

" But I am going to be serious in these remarks. Levity 
grates harshly when women are in question. It is the bad 
habit to be facetious in the post-prandial treatment of a toast 
which deserves the first place, but, for some traditional rea- 
son, is offered last, and comes in when the audience is tired 
and requires jocoseness to stimulate flagging interest. I shall 
be serious, and, instead of trying to be funny and flippant, 
I shall express my hearty, honest, earnest appreciation of 
the admirable attributes of woman, w^hich exalt her so far 
above the coarser nature of man. 

" In his rebuke of the exceptional haughtiness of a proud 
beauty, Tennyson says : 

' Howe'er it be it seems to me, 
'Tis only noble to be good. 
Kind hearts are more than coronets, 
And simple faith than Norman blood.' 

" History abounds with instances of invincible heroism , of 
fortitude and endurance of misfortune by women, fit to rank 
with the achievements of mighty conquerors. Woman is 
noble because she is good ; her simple faith, which clings 
unalterably even to unworthy objects, makes her superior to 
man, who is often to her a tyrant and a deceiver. Women are 
true and loyal ; they are never traitors. The speaker who 
preceded me treated the army in a ridiculous sort of a way, 
but I may be permitted, with grave earnestness, to draw an 
illustration of woman's fidelity from the late war for our 
Union. The women of the North were uncompromising ad- 
herents to the Union, there were no secessionists among 



WASHINGTON'S BIRTHDAY. 23 

them ; the women of the South beheld unappalled the horrors 
of war, and were wilHng, patient, and uncomplaining sharers 
in the sufferings and privations that attended adhesion to the 
Lost Cause. In the North, women were faithful to the right; 
in the South, loyally devoted to politically disloyal fathers, 
brothers, husbands, and sons, they were faithful to the wrong. 
They clung to their respective standards with unswerving 
tenacity ; until one floated in triumph, and the other, tattered 
and torn, trailing in the dust of defeat, was picked up and 
clasped to the constant heart of the ever faithful Southern 
woman. 

"There were many on both sides worthy to rank with 
Joan of Arc, though they did not don cuirass and helmet and 
lead mailed warriors in the fray. It required an effort of 
heroism to part with beloved ones who took up arms to en- 
gage in bloody conflict and run the hazard of cruel war. 
Where in all language is there such a compendium of the 
better emotions of our nature as the word Moth/^r. She was 
of heroic mould who said, ' It is hard to part with my first- 
born ; but go, my son ! do your duty to our country, and may 
a mother's blessing attend you wherever you may go ! ' As 
the sentinel paced his weary round, while the night wind dis- 
tilled the odors of Virginian forests ; and the air was vocal 
with myriads of insects hymning lauds to the Creator ; and 
the stars shone down serenely radiant — that mother's blessing 
was around and about him ; more fragrant than the perfume 
of the trees ; the words, echoing in the ear of memory, more 
tuneful than the subdued harmonies of the night ; and the 
recollection of tears that sparkled in loving eyes while pro- 
nouncing the parting benediction, pure as the holy light from 
heavenly dome above. 

" But it is not in the heroic view that woman appears in 
the most admirable light. It is in the sacred retreat of do- 



24 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

mestic life that she shines. She is like the glow-worm that 
emits its radiance in the shade, remote from pubhc view, but 
pales in the garish light of selfish worldliness. Here we find 
the tender mother, the loving wife, the dutiful daughter, the 
patient, untiring nurse. How often does woman's heart bear 
up bravely against miseries under which man's would sink ; 
how many temptations are resisted before which man's would 
yield ! 

' Oh woman, in our hours of ease, 

Uncertain, coy and hard to please. 
And variable as the shade 

By the light quivering aspen made. 
When pain and anguish wring the brow, 

A ministering angel thou ! ' 

"The name of Florence Nightingale has become famous 
in every civilized land ; it is a synonym of merciful self-abne- 
gation. There is a multitude of unrenowned Florence Night- 
ingales in every war; and they walk among us, through 
peaceful paths, every day, unnoticed and unknown. The 
Geneva Cross is the labarum of the grand army of benev- 
olence. The volunteer hospital nurse is held in grateful re- 
membrance by those who experienced the solace of her be- 
nign presence. We cannot pay too much reverence to the 
holy sisterhood whose lives are dedicated, in the name of re- 
ligion, to the cause of suffering humanity ; who relinquish 
the pleasures of the world, and abandon their own proper 
names, to merge themselves in the unidentified designation 
of ' Sister,' for the purpose of ministering to the poor and 
afflicted. The maimed or fever-stricken occupant of the bed 
which charity provides, tossing in pain, sees approach a form 
clad in sombre raiment, and soon the gentle offices of her vo- 
cation alleviate his sufferings, and the cool touch of pious fin- 



WASHINGTON S BIRTHDAY, 25 

gers on his burning brow seems to soothe with healing influ- 
ence. And if it happens that all these efforts are ineffectual 
to prolong the payment of the last debt, there bends over the 
stricken couch a saintly figure, and the glazing eyes of the 
dying man reflect an angelic presence, impressed upon them 
when they re-open in the brightness of the world beyond. 
The unsymmetrical folds of that shapeless black gown are 
the chrysalis husk, which some day will burst into glory, re- 
vealing beneath the enfolded seraph wings, that will spread 
to bear aloft a triumphant soul, buoyed with sustaining good 
deeds done on earth. 

" Mr. Chairman, out on the wide sea, surrounded by 
voracious waters, at the mercy of spiteful winds, far from 
home, family, friends and companions, we think more seri- 
ously than we are apt to do amid the distracting pleasures 
and turmoil of shore occupation, I have treated this toast 
with a gravity not suited perhaps to the joyous abandon of a 
feast, but in a manner congenial to my own feelings. I re- 
spect and honor womankind. I offer as a sentiment : The 
Sister of Charity and the volunteer hospital nurse — imper- 
sonations of self-sacrificing womanly compassion ; their uni- 
forms are the outward and visible signs of the innate nobility 
of the true woman." 

That Uncle John had struck a vibrating chord was mani- 
fest in the sympathetic silence that followed his remarks. 
We retired from the table, touched and softened. There were 
no more toasts, for we were but four voyagers, and each had 
performed his allotted duty. Before the conclusion of the 
last speech there were unmistakable signs of a storm brewing, 
which would soon burst upon us, an ironical comment on 
the Commodore's complacent felicitations of assured continu- 
ance of fine weather. I had my joke at his expense, you may 
be sure. I don't often miss a chance. A threatening growl 



26 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

was heard coming over the sea, as if a lion were giving notice 
that he was about to come out of his den ; there was an un- 
steadiness among the glasses on the board, which we knew 
were not deceptive waverings that came from looking at the 
bottles, for we are not prone to over-indulgence ; we could 
hear the sailors on deck taking in sail, and there was every 
indication of a nasty night. We turned into our berths, si- 
lently and soberly, still feeling the influence of Uncle John's 
soul-felt tribute to Woman. 



CHAPTER III. 

THE STORM. 

No Poppy-juice — Meteorology — Laying to— A Disturbance — Queer Fan- 
cies — Optical Delusion— Life Insurance — My Own Funeral — The 
Flute — Mont Cenis — Old Theatres — The Banshee — A Daughter's 
Devotion — Corked-up — Seasickness — Depression — The Convent 
Bell. 

Hamilton, Bermuda, February 29, 1884. 
The soothing influence that attended us when we turned in 
was " not poppy nor mandragora " that could medicine us to 
that sweet sleep inferentially promised by the Commodore in 
his rose-colored anticipations of smooth sailing. We were 
soon in a state of topsy-turvitude that murdered sleep. Our 
heads had hardly softly sought the pillow when the gale, that 
had been menacing for some time, struck us with great fury. 
The skirmishers had been sent out before, and we felt the 
scattering fire while yet at table, but now the attack was 
made in force. We had a doleful experience following the 
feast of the nativity of Washington, notwithstanding the 
enthusiastic Commodore's complacent promises of lullaby 
winds and cradling waves. They were not a bit like the cra- 
dle, but had more promise of the grave. We sat down to 
dine Friday evening at six, and didn't go on deck again for 
any considerable length of time, until Sunday morning at ten 
o'clock. 

During that time we were close prisoners, guarded by im- 
placable winds and rough waves with unremitting vigilance. 



28 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

We performed an enforced forty hours' devotion, in retreat ; 
Quarante oro, quarantined by old Neptune. I venture to 
suggest, without much fear of contradiction from my fellow- 
prisoners, that, mildly speaking, it was not comfortable. 

I am going to set up as a meteorologist. I have estab- 
lished quite a reputation for weather wasdom. But why 
shouldn't I ? Who ought to know about weather so well 
as the Utican ? Where is there more weather to be found ? 
Besides no true Utican will permit his native place to be 
excelled in any respect, and it must now take high rank 
as the home of the weather-wise, as wellas the harbor of poli- 
ticians from other haunts of the world who settle there to be- 
come Governors, United States Senators and Members of 
Congress. Friday afternoon, as I emerged from the compan- 
ion-way, I saw a thin streak of ragged cloud in the south- 
eastern sky, which looked like a fragment, with a frayed edge, 
torn off from a larger piece. I remarked that I thought it in- 
dicated a storm, but my landsman opinion evidently met 
with no consideration, as the sky was clear in every quarter, 
although there were some small blurs of fleeciness discernible 
near the western horizon. My prognostic not being received 
with the favor with which an opinion on any subject coming 
from the home of statesmen and sages is entitled, I belayed 
my tongue and shut my prophetic mouth, simply suggesting, 
apologetically, that I was born on the shores of the Erie 
Canal, and ought to know something about the sea. Shortly 
afterward, I ventured to remark to the sailing-master, with 
becoming diffidence, that he would have to double reef the 
mainsail again to-night. He thought not, but said, with a 
sailor's characteristic caution, that he could not tell. Soon 
the clouds began to gather threateningly in the western sky, 
which assumed a vaporous appearance, with the water eleva- 
tors, showing their divergent ladders, strongly marked ; and 



THE STORM. 29 

the sun went down behind a bank of coppery clouds, with 
lurid, menacing glare. There were no positive indications of 
close proximity to a storm even then ; indeed, when we sat 
down to our frugal Washington's Birthday repast, the wind 
lulled, and we ate our dinner in happy unconsciousness of 
the imminent hurricane. 

It blew hard the night before, but then it was clear and 
starlight, while now the sky was overcast with sullen, lower- 
ing clouds ; the barometer fell with alarming rapidity ; the 
sea looked angry and rose with threatening surge, and it was 
evident, to say the least, that a hard blow was coming on. 
At midnight it blew a gale, and it was found necessary to 
" lay to." This laying to is resorted to when it is found that 
the vessel is unable to carry sail on account of the dangerous 
wind and high-running waves. It is done by furling the sails, 
except some small bit of canvas, to give steerage-way, and 
pointing the vessel directly in the teeth of the wind. Thus 
the only resistance offered is by the hull, masts, and rigging, 
and the wind has but comparatively little to take hold of, the 
craft remaining stationary, except that she may drift stern- 
ward in a current made by the gale. A low vessel has an 
advantage, in not presenting so much surface for the assaults 
of the wind. 

I can illustrate this process of laying to by an umbrella. 
Suppose you are out in a strong Avind, with an umbrella 
raised. If it is so violent that you cannot hold it safely, you 
close the umbrella, which is furling sails. If you point the 
ferrule straight at the wind, your umbrella is " laying to." 

I have experienced some heavy storms at sea, in the north 
and south Atlantic, the Mediterranean, the English Channel, 
and elsewhere, and have been in squalls on Lake Ontario 
that were not to be sneezed at, but this excelled anything 
that I had ever met before. Theretofore I had been on larcfe 



30 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

steamers of two or three thousand tons burden, with decks 
towering above the sea, beyond the reach of waves unless 
they ran extraordinarily high ; but here we were on a little 
yacht one hundred feet long and twenty-five in breadth at the 
widest point, with a deck exactly four feet above the water- 
line. When you think that the waves were running fifteen or 
twenty feet high, and that the wind was blowing a fierce gale, 
you may imagine that the deck of the Montauk was not a 
pleasant place to be. I wasn't there, however. I was below 
in the saloon with the other voyagers. We had no particular 
inclination to be on deck, and if we had, its gratification 
would have been attended with much difficulty. It was a 
wonder how the sailors could maintain their footing even 
to do what little they had to do with all the sails furled. 

I have not the power to describe that storm. If you can 
imagine in the howling wind a continuous roar such as one 
hears at Niagara Falls, with a beating on the masts and rig- 
ging sounding like a train of railroad cars in motion, inter- 
spersed with frequent booms like the discharge of cannon 
when huge waves struck forward, and rushed in tumultuous 
torrents, seething, lashing, foaming, the spiteful floods seem- 
ing as if seeking to tear something venomously, you might 
form an idea of the babel of unpleasant sounds which filled 
our ears as we lay below in the saloon, with the skylight cov- 
ered with boards under layers of strong canvas screwed to the 
deck, the hatches battened down, and everything sealed 
tight to keep out the water. If I may use the simile, we made 
a sort of water sandwich. Underneath, with a few planks be- 
tween us and the mighty ocean, the angry waves, lashed into 
fury, struck at our vessel with untiring persistency ; over- 
head, the deck was covered with streams of water from the 
seas, shattered into spray that broke constantly over the bul- 
warks, causing her to tremble in every joint ; the flood surg- 



V/ 










I 



.1 ' 



li^ 



THE STORM. 3 1 

ing, advancing and receding, forward and aft, shifting from side 
to side until it found an outlet through the scuppers. Then 
the fearful din outside was re-echoed within by the creakings 
and groanings of the joiner- work, filling the saloon with all 
kinds of queer noises, whistles and sighs and moans, some- 
times sharp and petulant, at others taking the tone of hushed, 
whispering voices. One might imagine that they were wails 
and lamentations for a coming disaster ; the keening of the 
Banshee commingling with the screechings of malignant 
water-demons. 

Strange fancies came to us, while we lay, tossed by the 
vexed seas, in the closed saloon, the turned-down wick of the 
ceiling-lamp hghting with shadeful indistinctness, casting 
around vague shadows of weird, shuddering aspect. It is 
impossible to sleep soundly grasping the lee-board to keep 
in the berth, but one occasionally drops off in an uneasy doze, 
when phantasmagorial troops come riding through the brain, 
in quick succession, like the figures on the revolving toy 
held before a mirror, minghng in heterogeneous contact. 

Nearly everybody is familiar with optical delusions created 
by objects seen in an imperfect Hght, particularly at night ; 
how garments, hung over the backs of chairs, become figures 
apparently substantial ; how flickering gleams on the wall 
take varied conformations, graceful and beautiful, familiar 
and homely, or extravagant, grotesque and bizarre. I ex- 
perienced one of these effects which had every appearance 
of reality. On account of the greater warmth of the saloon, 
which was heated by a stove, we occupied the flanking berths 
in it, instead of sleeping in our state-rooms. My room is 
on the port quarter aft, opening from the companion-way, 
in the direct line of vision from the forward starboard berth 
where I lay. The door was open and a lantern, swing- 
ing outside, dimly revealed the interior. Awaking from a 



32 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

troubled drowse, the first thing that met my eye was this 
room, in which I saw, distinctly and clearly-defined, the fig- 
ure of a nun kneeling in prayer, with folded hands, and 
veiled head bent forward in attitude of supplication. I was 
startled ; just coming out of a doze, with confused faculties, 
obscured by the clinging mists of sleep partially dispelled. I 
looked intently : there was the figure plain and palpable. I 
knew there was no person in the room, and that it was not, 
therefore, a real presence with changed appearance caused 
by the cloudy light ; nor was it a phantasm, for my nerves 
were not shaken in the least by the somewhat appalling situ- 
ation, and I was as calm and self-possessed, though appre- 
ciating the danger, as if I were in my bed on land. I lay 
there some time, watching the shape, endeavoring to make 
it change to the view, but in vain. I would shut my eyes 
and re-open them quickly, but beheld again the suppliant 
nun in precisely the same position. 

At length I quit my berth and crawled over to the room 
to learn what material composed such a remarkably distinct 
deceptive impersonation to the fancy. The inside of the 
room is painted white, the bedding is of the same color, and 
the apparition was created in this way : I had thrown a long 
overcoat carelessly on the high berth, so that it hung down 
in front of the drapery, and, in the relief of staring white back- 
ground, it assumed the appearance of a kneeling figure, when 
seen across the saloon. I did not disturb it, but returned to 
see if it would appear the same when revealed in the knowl- 
edge of what caused the similacrum. Re-entering my berth, 
I looked again, and there it was, without the slightest change. 
It was such a remarkable verisimilitude that it possessed a 
sort of fascination, and I spent a long time looking at the 
shape, straining my eyes and shifting my position in the en- 
deavor to make it conform to what I knew it to be — an over- 



THE STORM. 33 

coat spread on a white coverlet. Had I been prone to accept 
supernatural appearances, I might have believed when I first 
saw the figure that it was some benignant guardian shape 
sent to protect me in the surrounding perils ; or the water- 
wraith warning of disaster. Many well-authenticated " ap- 
pearances " have no more foundation than this figment of the 
imagination. And yet who knows but that, far away, some 
nun may have been praying in her dreams, and the aspira- 
tions took form and shape in my room ? Who knows ? 

I suppose if one were lost at sea the life insurance com- 
panies would offer no objection to paying the risk, if the 
requisite permit had been obtained to sail, which involved 
the consent of the Company to go down. They are never 
exacting in these matters. After one has paid premiums for 
inany years they never set up a quibbling defence to cashing 
the prize drawn by a lucky number. The proof of loss is the 
rub. If we all go down in this gale, how would the loss be 
proved ? We couldn't very well swear for each other, as I 
fancy the Governor hasn't appointed any notaries-public for 
Davy Jones' locker. There is no Senator from that district 
to procure the appointment. 

A queer idea strikes me, as a piece of possible bad 
luck. I have made posthumous provision for a moderate 
collation to veteran soldiers and friends upon their return 
from my funeral, by and by, and it occurs to me that if I am 
lost at sea the entertainment could not come off as advertised ; 
which would be hard on the boys. Then, too, I have been 
noted for my faithful attendance at funerals, and it would be 
a cruel stroke of unkind fortune if, after having been present 
at so many obsequies of others, I should be denied the privi- 
lege of attending my own funeral. 

That little sound, like the note of a flute, coming timidly 
out of the mast-case, reminds me of Miller, from whom I 
3 



34 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

took music-lessons. He was a shaky old chap, who had 
been a musician in the British Army, and played liquid notes 
with true vinous quaver. I remember the first tune I 
essayed — after disastrous contention with scales and exer- 
cises, where they had the worst of it — " My love is but a 
lassie yet." I was faithful to that lassie. I failed to win her, 
but I never courted another tune. How these long-forgotten 
trifles come back when we lie awake all night ! The mind 
seems to leap backward and forward, annihilating both time 
and space without the slightest regard for the unities. 

I was nearly thrown out of my berth by a sudden lurch 
while half asleep. The covering had fallen off, and, as the 
fire was out, I felt cold. I imagined I was again undergoing 
my coldest experience — crossing Mont Cenis in the coupe 
of a diligence at night. I dreamt that the lurch of the ship 
was the diligence-wheel striking a stone in the rocky pass. I 
pulled up the clothing and was warm again. What a wonder- 
ful thing is a dream ! The events of days flash through the 
brain in an instant. Actual occurrences move slowly, like 
sound, the dream must travel as quickly as light. 

The Park Theatre was burned down finally about the time 
roaring Jack Scott played at the Bowery, and made nearly as 
much noise as Forrest when he made Rome howl. I don't 
remember the old Park, but I can recall Burton, in Palmo's 
Opera House, on Chambers Street, with Harry Placide in 
the " Old Guard," and John Brougham playing Captain 
Murphy Maguire in the " Serious Family." Mary Taylor 
was the great favorite in Mitchell's Olympic ; snug little box, 
home of farce, vaudeville, and operetta, with George Holland, 
that " rascal Jack" Dunn, Walcot, the Mestayers, and Isher- 
woods. I don't know what makes me think of theatres now ; 
I ought to have churches in my mind. But man is perverse. 
Perhaps this is my last act and I am about to make an exit, 



THE STORM. 35 

in a grand tableau without any audience. Well, I will get 
the best of the life insurance companies, if I do. I have been 
trying it, at great pecuniary loss, for years, but I may have 
the bulge on them in this swelling sea. 

I wonder if there is such a thing as the Banshee attached 
to old Irish families. It is a belief very generally accepted in 
Ireland. The Banshee is a spirit who assumes the shape of 
a woman, and her duty is to warn the family of which she is a 
retainer, of approaching misfortune. The music of the song of 
the Banshee is given in Mrs. Hall's sketches of Ireland ; a cor- 
rect notation of the v/ail, which forms the theme for the keen 
or death-cry furnished by old women at funerals. Somebody 
must have heard the lament who understood music and put 
down the notes. I have heard it several times to-night. Ac- 
cording to the old bardic verse : 

The Banshee mournful wails 

In the midst of the silent, lonely night, 

Plaintive she sings the song of death. 

The Banshee may be seen as well as heard, but only by 
the person on whom she specially waits. She always appears 
in a white robe, or I might have taken the apparition in my 
state-room for the family attendant. That is, if I am entitled 
to one, but it is probable the spirits don't emigrate. They 
would be of no use in this country. We couldn't make Ban- 
shee aldermen. I have no desire to see mine yet awhile, but 
if she comes I can't help myself Let her come ; it will be 
all the same to Vanderbilt and me a hundred years hence. 

Women exhibit more fortitude than men. I have been 
thinking of the wonderful nerve displayed by a young girl 
not long ago. Her mother lay unconscious, with the shadow 
of apprpaching dissolution on her features. The loving 



36 , THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

daughter knelt by her bedside and, as the Hfe-stream slowly- 
ebbed, to meet the turn of flood-tide to eternity, she read the 
form of prayer for the dying prescribed by her church ritual. 
She was her mother's favorite child, bound to her by the 
strongest affection. She recited the prayers for the depart- 
ing soul in tones clear, distinct, and firm -as if she were read- 
ing the ordinary services of the day, without the heart-break- 
ing accessories which made her performance of this religious 
duty, sustained by exalted faith, a marvel of self-control. 
Even when she came to the agonizing words, hi maims tttas, 
Doniine — " Into thy hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit" — 
her voice pronounced the sentence without faltering inflec- 
tion, though the mighty effort required to maintain her com- 
posure was manifest. Kyrie eleison ! CJiriste eleison ! Not 
until the physician said, " All is over ! " did she betray her an- 
guish, but then she gave way to her overwhelming sorrow, 
and burst into a flood of heart-bleeding tears. The spectacle 
of this young girl — with loving eyes glancing from the book 
of prayer to her mother's face, gradually fading into the ashy 
hue of death — restraining the manifestation of her poignant 
grief so that she might properly perform the offices prescribed 
by her belief, was a sublime exhibition of the invincible power 
of religious faith. 

We have little faith in these times. Who can discern the 
line that divides faith from superstition ? It would be well 
if we had more superstition of the right kind. 

I can hear the pumps working occasionally, but they find 
Httle water in the hold. The Montauk is exceptionally 
strong-timbered ; she is not hable to spring aleak. But 
an anticipated terror haunts us. Amid the tramphng and 
shouting on deck, we dread lest we hear the cry of Man over- 
board ! That is our only fear. We lie here below, battened 
down, corked up as if in a bottle. We can float even if the 



THE STORM. 37 

sticks are taken out of the yacht by the hurricane. Grant 
said something about Butler being bottled up, but he could 
get away after some fashion. We can't ; there is no place to 
go. We can't go ashore. I wish we were in the Dutch Gap 
Canal rather than the Gulf Stream, 

What an awful sight is the sea, lashed into fury ! Look- 
ing out, through a small aperture in the canvas covering the 
companion-way hatch, at the heaving masses of surging black 
water, we can see fitful apparitions of crested foam flying by, 
Hke sheeted ghosts gibbering malignly. 

This gale is so violent that some of the crew are seasick. 
The old cook, a veteran sailor, who prepares the hot coffee 
for the watch — all are on duty now — has been compelled to 
He down. He may heave too. Seasickness is the most dis- 
tressing of ailments. It is difficult to explain the sensations 
one experiences floundering in this slough of despond. It is 
so overpowering that, after the first contortionate encounter, 
the wretched victim sinks into a helpless state of inertness 
and lassitude, and becomes perfectly indifferent as to what 
may happen. The affliction is a happy combination of 
nausea, yellow fever, pneumonia, epizooty, cholera morbus, 
chilblains, toothache, inflammatory rheumatism, ephialtes, 
malaria, acetic acid, gall, Limburger cheese, mining stocks, 
and temperance lectures, which makes the unfortunate possess- 
or feel that life has become a burden, which he would gladly 
throw off had he the strength to reach the ship's side. There 
is no appetite, nor any place to put it. Seasickness is sole 
tenant in possession, occupying all the premises. Were one 
able to eat it, the food, like a Fenian orator, couldn't be kept 
down. Nor would it come up smiling, as a plucky pugilist 
after losing a round, Ati contraire. A man seized and 
possessed in fee-simple of all and singular the right, title, and 
interest in and to a full-sized, able-bodied seasickness, is op- 



38 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

pressed with more property than he can get rid of on favor- 
able terms. He can't even quitclaim. 

He feels as if he were plunged in the crater of a volcano ; 
submerged beneath an iceberg of ten thousand thousand tons 
bergden ; he is a frightful example of gaping vacuity ; he is 
a mixture of Scylla and Charybdis ; he is Sisyphus rolhng 
marbles ; he is Prometheus bound, with the eagle preying on 
his vitals and finding there nothing worth preying for. He 
is a howling wilderness. The seasick man has a great deal 
on his mind and nothing on his stomach. He is an aching 
void. He has swallowed the Mammoth Cave of Kentucky. 
He is in a state of total depravity. He hates his friends, and 
detests young onions, sliced with cucumbers in vinegar. The 
man who first ate boiled mutton, raw, with capers, or invented 
mint-sauce for roasted lamb, must have been seasick. He 
wonders why he was born ; and is in such a flimsy, dilapi- 
dated, limp, and demoralized condition, that he wouldn't have 
courage enough to refuse his name for a book on the war, 
sold only by subscription. As an alternative misery, he 
would consent to serve as an inspector of election, although 
he couldn't hold the appointment, and would soon have to 
throw it up. The man genuinely seasick is lost to all sense 
of honor, and would eat with his knife, devour underdone 
veal, or pour molasses on codfish-balls. He would peddle 
lightning-rods, or infallible cures for catarrh, make love to 
Erinnys, and quote the Sign Post in politics. It is an ex- 
treme surmise, hardly within the range of probability, yet 
such is the dementation of seasickness, that the miserable 
sufferer may become so far lost to a sense of propriety as to 
read a President's message aloud, at the breakfast-table, in the 
bosom of his own family. 

A story is told of a captain going around among his 
passengers, during a violent storm, and warning them to pre- 



THE STORM. 



39 



pare, as the ship would go down in an hour. " Good gra- 
cious ! " exclaimed one, writhing in the travail of seasickness, 
"must I live an hour longer ! " I told this story to Uncle 
John, as a cheerful and enlivening narrative, suited to our 
condition — shouting it in his ear as we clung temporarily to 
the sideboard — and when I remarked that, to the captain's 
suggestion, the seasick passenger demurred, the veteran 
yachtsman said, " Of course ; he couldn't help himself ; it was 
spontaneous ; he inal-de-mered." This is the most atrocious 
pun I ever heard ; but I excuse him. Still it was hardly fair 
to take advantage of me in a hurricane. Uncle John would 
have his joke if a wave were hovering over us, like the rock 
suspended over Tantalus, threatening to descend and crush 
in the deck of our little yacht, atomical in this vast expanse 
of water. 

I have imagined all this seasick business. I know nothing 
by experience. I am proof; something above proof, for I 
am always in high spirits. I have never been seasick under 
any circumstances. Once upon a time I was crossing the 
English Channel in one of the cockle-shell steamers that ply 
between Calais and Dover, and there were but two pas- 
sengers unaffected by the short chopping sea which is such a 
provocative of the malady — I and a bagman from Man- 
chester. We sat forward, under the half-deck, and smoked, 
greatly to the disgruntlement of the pewter-mug malades. 
We were out of the way, to be sure, but they can stand any- 
thing better than tobacco, to which they have an unconquer- 
able aversion. It is nearly as bad as a politician's explanation 
of the tariff question, which nobody can stand. I don't 
hanker after seasick experience, so as to be able to describe 
it. None in mine, if you please ; it isn't nice. It can be de- 
scribed by the imagination. This is such a description ; an 
eidolon, like the figure I saw in my state-room, anent which 



40 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

Uncle John remarked that it had no business to be eidolon 
around there frightening people. Nobody is so deserving of 
compassion as the seasick, yet nobody receives less sympathy. 
It is a " dem'd moist unpleasant body," as Mantilini says, 
but everybody ridicules the subject. There is no remedy for 
seasickness. Champagne, brandy, and other stimulants are 
held in high repute, but there is no effectual cure. Many 
nostrums have been prepared, but none of them prove gen- 
uine ; the compounds all turn out spurious. 

The sleighing must be fine near Utica now. I would 
rather be driving my black mare, Viola, through upper Gene- 
see Street, with a wolf-skin robe to keep us warm, in the 
bright, frosty, exhilarating air, properly charged with oxy- 
gen, than groping here, " cabin'd, cribb'd, confin'd, bound 
in to saucy doubts and fears," in the unelastic atmosphere 
of the saloon, with no ventilation, except through the stove- 
door, which is left open for that purpose. 

It is depressing, do what we may to simulate jollity ; and 
we have a strain of the Mark Tapley blood among us. We 
cannot, however, constantly entertain cheerful thoughts as 
guests, though we may strive to bar out all others. The 
melancholy will come uninvited and force their way in. The 
mind often undergoes some strain, which leaves it for a long 
time sensitive to dejecting influences, which it feels first in 
the abraded strand of recollection. I think of one now. A 
husband was sent for hurriedly to come to the bedside of his 
sick wife. He did not know that she was dangerously ill 
until his arrival, when he found her unconscious. She lay in 
a comatose state for five days, during which he eagerly hung 
over her with wistful gaze, yearning for a moment of con- 
sciousness that would enable her to hear him say good-by 
before she started on the last journey. But this boon, so 
fervently prayed for, was not granted. She was unconscious 



THE STORM. 41 

to the last, and died without recognizing her long-time com- 
panion, whose mind during these weary five days was 
stretched relentlessly on the rack of torturing anxiety. The 
mind may wear scars. There are mental afflictions as hard 
to bear as physical sufferings, for they are always with us. 
The illness of the body may yield to medicine, but who can 
"minister to a mind diseased," and " pluck from the memory 
a rooted sorrow? " 

That thunderous booming of the waves recalls Malvern 
Hill, with the massed artillery plunging slaughterous missiles 
through Magruder's gallant column of venturesome Confeder- 
ates, who paid a fearful penalty for their temerity. The 
drumming of the rigging is beating the long-roll to meet a 
night attack. 

But I will not indulge these dismal reflections. Rather 
let the thoughts be joyful and happy. I can find in these 
crackling noises, that fill the saloon with apparent discord- 
ance, cheerful sounds ; for everything depends on the man- 
ner in which we receive impressions ; the mould in which we 
cast them. Therefore will I be deaf to Cassandra. I will 
hear no notes of evil, but these whispers will be to me soft 
murmurs, flying over the boisterous waves and finding a 
resting-place in the ark, sweet-voiced messengers, bringing 
fond remembrance from dear ones on land. I will hear in 
these whistles the song of the oriole on embowered Rutger 
Street, the trilling of the robin from the venerable old elms 
of Broad Street, and the flutter of bright wings, circHng 
around the fountain where birds sip in Chancellor Square. 
But above all will I hear the mellow tone of holy convent 
bell, pealing out, from cloistered retreat, a reverent invitation 
to join in the prayers constantly ascending for all that dwell 
on land, or sail in ships on the sea. 



CHAPTER IV. 

A HARBOR REACHED. 

Still Below — A Dilemma — Short Commons^Under Bare Poles — Mon- 
sieur Tonson come again — 29.50 — The Barometer Watch — A let up 
— Gulf-weed — Flying-fish — Ash Wednesday — Bermuda Light — 
Hamilton Harbor. 

Hamilton, February 29, 1884. 
We lay through that raging night, buffeted about as if the 
sea-king were kicking and cuffing us spitefully for venturing 
to cross his domains in such an insignificant vessel while he 
was in bad humor. Keeping in our berths was a matter at- 
tended with much difficulty, tumbling, posturing, and con- 
tortion, and it might have been with some swearing, had we 
been addicted to the profane habit of our countrymen, many of 
whom interlard conversation with oaths without any apparent 
necessity for their emphatic employment. Expletives are 
common everywhere, but we excel in downright hard swear- 
ing ; profanity for the sake of being profane, without mean- 
ing any harm. In some places oaths are employed for terms 
of endearment, as Senator Nye once explained to Charles 
Sumner. In the United States, one may be regarded as a 
gentleman even if he swears and chews tobacco. 

The deck was hardly a comfortable place. There is not 
much fun in crouching on slippery planks, holding on like 
grim death, or being lashed, which is the only safe precau- 
tion ; to say nothing of the constant showers of spray whirl- 
ing overhead ; so we made the best of it and kept in our 



A HARBOR REACHED. 43 

berths. To brace up required some skill in equitation ; we 
could not read because of the general shakiness, and smoking 
was forbidden by the lack of adequate ventilation. This con- 
dition lasted until about four o'clock in the afternoon of the 
next day, when, after laying to for seventeen hours, we found 
ourselves in a dilemma. The wind, which had been blowing 
from south-by-east, shifted and came out of the northwest with 
equal violence. Here was a complication ; we were struck 
between wind and water. The yacht couldn't carry sail with 
such a gale blowing, nor could she be laid to in the direction 
contrary to that she had occupied, for the sea was running 
very high from the southward, and if she turned about and 
pointed northwest she would take the waves over the stern 
and run the risk of being swamped. It was a perplexing mo- 
ment for the sailing-master, who had to decide quickly. 
Were it possible to lay to on the other quarter without being 
pooped, wearing ship would be attended with difficulty, and 
something unpleasant might happen if the yacht broached 
to. Then he found that the vessel was not long enough to 
" reach " as the sea was running, so there was nothing for it 
but to buck into the waves, run under bare poles and take 
the chances. A^ bit of canvas was set, a reefed fore-staysail 
about as big as a Deerfield pocket-handkerchief, and off she 
started before the wind, breasting the sea gallantly, driving 
her bowsprit into the advancing waves and rising like a duck, 
shaking herself as she emerged and casting the waves con- 
temptuously on either side. She reminded one of a noble 
Newfoundland dog plunging into the surf. It was a grand 
sight : the huge waves advanced, towering far above the 
yacht as if they would overwhelm her, and just as it seemed 
,that she was about to be engulfed, she would lift up her head 
and the threatening waves would glide harmlessly under the 
keel. Peerless yacht Montauk ! 



44 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

A little of this went a good way with us ; it was a splendid 
display, but we didn't stay outside in the storm ; we knew 
enough to come in when it rained. The usual attention was 
not paid to the cuisine during that forty hours below. The 
table was not spread. There were several sets of dishes in 
the steward's pantry, but no dishes set on the table. Too much 
knocking about for unguyed crockery. ' Then I don't think 
we had much appetite, notwithstanding we took considerable 
exercise on an empty stomach. Fortunately we had a good 
dinner PViday, as we ate nothing Saturday except some 
chicken-soup, served in teacups at the berth-side. This was 
the only meal between Friday's dinner and breakfast Sunday 
morning. Nothing is so good for the health as abstinence ; 
we all eat too much. After nightfall, the head-sea went down 
under the northwest gale, and rose in the opposite quarter, 
but, as we were scudding before the wind, and the sea was 
running with us, we moved along with comparative comfort. 
Sunday, the wind lulled, but the waves ran high and looked 
sullen and treacherous, oppressed by the gloomy clouds. All 
through Monday we made but little progress, the wind being 
light, but at night the gale set in again from the southeast 
with greater violence than it exhibited Friday and Saturday. 
We knew then that it was a circular storm, a windy Monsieur 
Tonson come again, and that it must be a hurricane, which 
caught us somewhere within its radius. The wind blew at 
least sixty miles an hour. I didn't go on deck to hold up 
a wet finger as an anemometer, but the sailors said that facing 
it they could hardly hold their breaths. I had been reading 
up the hurricane question. The yacht's library contains a 
large collection of maritime works, among them some books 
published by the Government, giving information regarding 
tides and currents, with valuable meteorological observations. 
I flatter myself I am well up in storms. I learned that when 



A HARBOR REACHED. 45 

the barometer fell to 29.50 it indicated a hurricane, and one 
of the books gave directions how to escape from the vortex. 
This is not the regular season, but I thought one might be 
out on the road, taking a strolling tour, vagrantly flying 
around loose in these parts — a hurricane tramp as it were. 
It was possible that one might have been left over from last 
fall's stock and put in among the spring goods by mistake. 

The grave question was the state of the barometer. This 
was watched with as much solicitude as the election returns 
from an October State, It is situated in the companion-way 
over the saloon door. We took observations of it with long 
wax tapers. At midnight the glass was falling fast. Occa- 
sionally a spectral figure, in pajamas, could be seen stumb- 
ling along — like some white-robed sinner, taper in hand, 
making an expiatory pilgrimage — peering anxiously at the 
barometer. About two o'clock Tuesday morning, things be- 
came what is popularly described as " mixed." The wind 
howled like a Mississippi camp-meeting feeling the " power ; " 
the roar was deafening, and all the experiences of Friday 
night were renewed, only a little more so. At three o'clock, 
Uncle John, who was at that moment the rueful Knight of 
the taper, keeping watch and ward over the barometer, ex- 
claimed : " The glass has gone down eight points in fifteen 
minutes ; it is now at 29.50," This was the hurricane Rubi- 
con. This crucial point passed, we had the vortex business, I 
had been studying up, on hand. It oppressed me. In my 
life I had faced some difficulties successfully. I had taught 
clodhoppers to salute officers in the military style, I had 
drilled political torch-bearers, but I doubted my ability to 
handle a vortex. 

Then, for the first time that dolorous night, the Commo- 
dore appeared on the scene. He has a large cabin of his 
own, with a wide double-bed, and, having more lee-way, can 



46 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

be knocked about with less discomfort than if he were in an or- 
dinary berth, with not so much space to pay out when a blow 
comes on. He had been thrown out on the floor of his room 
nevertheless, and appeared at the door of the saloon before 
reentering his berth. Said he, with the laconicism of an old 
salt, " You are looking at the wrong glass." Libbiamo ! Si- 
lence. We look at the other glass. In point of fact, we look 
into two of them. Then, with observant taper light, I ap- 
proach the barometer and gaze at it, mournfully, reproach- 
fully. The needle hovers over the fateful point 29.50. It 
oscillates tremulously, as if restrained by some better impulse 
before taking another downward step in the path to destruc- 
tion. I breathe upon it. It flutters doubtfully at receiving 
the communication from the other glass. It doesn't go below 
29.50, but remains fixed there, and shortly after, feeling the 
influence of the spirits, shows an inclination to ascend. That 
glass of old Oscar Pepper was too strong for the weather- 
glass. The hurricane is averted. We are saved ! 

We lay to for eight hours, but the gale blew itself out be- 
fore morning, like a stump-speaker whose supplies are cut off 
by the committee. That night there were three watches, all 
on duty at once ; the starboard and port watches on deck, 
and the barometer watch below. After breakfast we found a 
heavy sea on, but it was subsiding slowly. The day was 
cloudy, and, as no observation could be taken, we were un- 
certain as to our position. No observation had been had 
since Friday ; this was the fourth day of the sun's obscura- 
tion. Theretofore the yacht had been sailed by dead reckon- 
ing, and, as the allowance for drifting during the gales was 
necessarily guess-work, we could not determine where we 
were with precision. Masses of gulf-weed floated by, speci- 
mens of which were fished up, and some of them are enclosed 
in this letter. The gulf-weed does not come from the Gulf, 



A HARBOR REACHED. 47 

as its name would imply, but grows in the great Sargasso 
beds at the bottom of the Atlantic, somewhere in the vicinity 
of the Azores, or propagates itself floating, a habitat for in- 
digenous parasites, crabs, and mollusks. We found some 
tiny Crustacea clinging to the branches we took aboard, which 
had probably embarked on a voyage to Europe but came to 
grief in mid-ocean. I send you some of these diminutive mol- 
lusks, they are something like the crabs we find in oysters. 
I am not enough of a naturalist to describe the various living 
things found in the interstices of the weed. Besides, I am 
not writing an encyclopedia, and don't pretend to convey 
much information in these letters. They are principally per- 
sonal experiences and gossip, with an occasional fact thrown 
in, like the infrequent raisin in plum-duff. You must go to 
the books for knowledge. You can simply get an idea of 
what the gulf-weed is by the sprig I send. A full branch is 
very pretty, with its slender, graceful stalks, bearing yellow 
berries, something like the mistletoe. 

We saw a good many flying-fish darting over the waves, 
singly and in groups, like swallows skimming the surface. 
At night the steward was smoking a cigar forward when one of 
these fish flew on deck, attracted by the glow. Perhaps it only 
came aboard to ask the steward for a light, but he didn't view 
it in that light, and brought the fish to us. It is shapely and, 
with wings expanded, not unlike the swallow in appearance. 
As the next day was Ash-Wednesday, and I make maigre 
(the way we did at the gray old College de Ste. Hyacinthe) , the 
steward offered to cook it for me as a bonne bouche, but I re- 
fused. In the first place, I couldn't indulge in any luxury, 
even piscatorial, on the first day of Lent, and then the 
pretty fish looked so imploring, quivering in the steward's 
grasp with a frightened look in its glittering eyes, that I 
couldn't find it in my heart to eat it. I would as soon have 



48 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

thought of eating a singing-bird. It would give me indiges- 
tion. 

Wednesday opened bright and fair, and we bowled along 
riglit merrily under unclouded skies, with zestful enjoy- 
ment enhanced by past tribulation. We often met that 
venturesome little mariner, the nautilus, riding over the 
waves, as confidently as if he were a great ship, instead 
of a bit of fragile shell with a membraneous pink sail. He 
always goes in ballast, never carries cargo, and is himself 
his only passenger, and by the time he reaches the other 
side he must be a dead-head at that. He didn't hail us 
as we passed, not even to ask us where the National Com- 
mittee had decided to hold the next convention to nominate 
a candidate for President to take a mud-bath. The sailors 
call this odd little shell the Portuguese man-of-war ; why, I 
could not learn. 

Although observance is not obligatory at sea, we kept 
Ash-Wednesday with conventional rigor. We are scrupu- 
lous about recognizing all the feasts, and do not always forget 
the fasts, though they seem to have a looser hold on the re- 
mindful conscience. Yes, we observed Ash-Wednesday re- 
ligiously. We had codfish pates for breakfast, and boiled cod 
with egg-sauce for dinner. 

Toward evening, anxiety set in as to our whereabouts. 
The observations showed that we could not be far from Ber- 
muda, but a slight chronometric variation might send us so 
far westward that we would fail to see the light, and pass the 
islands in the night. The group is not large, and may be 
easily missed, particularly where you have been working by 
dead-reckoning for four days, laying to twice in hurricanes, 
where allowance for drifting has to be made by conjecture. 
However, the anxious consultation that was going on between 
the sailing-master and a conferree (shall I mention him ? no, 



A HARBOR REACHED. 49 

modesty forbid ! it is sufficient to say that he owned a com- 
pass), was interrupted by the look-out crying, " Light on the 
port bow, sir ! " We had made Bermuda hght. 

We lay off St. George's all night, and the next morning 
were boarded by a pilot, who said that the breeze was good 
but nearly ahead, and he doubted whether we could make up 
through the crooked channel of Hamilton Harbor until it 
shifted. The sailing-master asked him where we were to go, 
and when the marking buoys were pointed out, simply said 
that we could get there. And so we did, greatly to pilot 
Peter's astonishment, who had never seen a vessel sail so 
close on the wind, or come about in little more space than 
her own length. " I never see'd nothin' like that before, and 
I'm an old sailor," was his admiring comment. Yet Peter 
refused to take our sheet-iron stove for his pilot fee. 

Away then — by the sturdy fortifications of St. George's, 
the hospital glimmering white in the transparent air ; through 
sparkling waters of pale-green tint, looking like a tray of 
mixed diamonds and emeralds flashing in the agitation of 
some unseen power ; past Ireland Island, where the mam- 
moth floating-dock loomed up like some mighty marine 
monster stranded on the beach — until at length we dropped 
anchor in Hamilton Harbor. Hardly had we rounded to, 
when a resonant voice came hailing out, and a hand waved 
in friendly recognition from the shore. It was the hearty 
greeting of a member of the New York Yacht Club, Captain 
F. W. J. Hurst, who had arrived by the New York steamer a 
few days before, and now stood on the dock, offering us wel- 
come such as a warm, enthusiastic nature like his is capable 
of extending. He is an old resident of Bermiuda, and soon 
came aboard, with some of his relatives of the Darrell family, 
a few of whom will be mentioned hereafter. Our appearance 
was an agreeable surprise to Captain Hurst, who encountered 
4 



50 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

the first hurricane I have mentioned while on the steamer, and 
surmised that we had been blown off our course, and would 
be heard from somewhere in the West Indies. Our friend 
Captain E. E. Chase, owner of the yacht Clio, N. Y.Y.C., 
who was visiting the island with Captain Hurst, also came 
aboard. After examination by the -Health Officer, the Com- 
modore went ashore, reported at the Custom House; called 
upon the U. S. Consul, was put down at the Royal Bermuda 
Yacht Club, and in a few hours we were made to feel en- 
tirely at home in hospitable Bermuda. 



CHAPTER V. 

BERMUDA. 

Bermuda — Settlement — Government — Departed Glories — Religion — 
Revenues — ^Exports and Imports — Climate — Vegetables — Flowers — 
Water — Fruits — Dock-yard . 

Hamilton, March 3, 1884. 
Bermuda is a queer old place. It is a group of islands, 
popularly supposed to number three hundred and sixty-five, 
corresponding numerically with the days of the year, as our 
old negro pilot, Peter Smith, informed us when he came 
aboard. As this exact number is allotted to groups in other 
parts of the Avorld, it is given probably without exactitude ; still 
there are over a hundred islands in the group, the largest. 
Long Island, containing the principal town of Hamilton, 
which gives the name to the harbor in which we are anchored. 
St. George's, on the other side, is fortified by a formidable 
armament, which looks imposing as we enter, from the sea, 
the channel which it commands. Ireland Island is the most 
important, as here is the naval station, with extensive arsen- 
als and workshops. It was formerly a convict station, but 
has not been used as a penal settlement for twenty years 
past. The fine roads, many of them hewn out of the solid 
rock, which are everywhere in these islands, were mainly the 
work of convicts. 

The islands, rising grimly out of the sea, remote from the 
mainland (the nearest point being Cape Hatteras, six hundred 



52 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

miles distant), were originally a coral formation. The action 
of the waves, throwing sand upon them, caused masses to be 
piled up, which atmospheric influences converted into lime- 
stone, covered in time with soil and vegetation. This Hme- 
stone is soft, though not friable, and is quarried with hand- 
saws. It is strange to see a man digging the cellar of his 
house v/ith a saw, and erecting the superstructure from the 
product of his excavation. The houses are roofed with the 
same stone, and, as a rule, are whitewashed all over, pre- 
senting a vivid glare, not ungrateful when peeping out isolated 
from amid verdure, but somewhat monotonous and trying to 
the eye when grouped. Viewed from the deck of a vessel 
in harbor, the village of Hamilton, bathed in moonlight, en- 
hancing its pallor, reminds one of the cemetery of Pere la 
Chaise, with its massive tombs staring out, ghostly mansions 
in a veritable city of the dead. But here the comparison 
ends ; for Hamilton, sleeping placid in the silvery light, has a 
great, warm, noble heart pulsing generous red blood beneath 
its outward paleness. Then there is no tomb of Abelard and 
Heloise for weeping lovers' pilgrimage. Bermuda is too 
proper to tolerate such vagaries. 

Bermuda is the oldest English colony. The islands were 
discovered by Juan Bermudez, a Spaniard, whose vessel was 
wrecked on the reefs, twenty-three years after the discovery 
of America by Columbus. Twelve years afterward, Camelo 
made an abortive effort to settle the islands for Spain. In 
1609, ninety-four years after the discovery by Bermudez, Sir 
George Somers was shipwrecked here, and remained several 
months, when he sailed for Virginia. Virginia being in great 
necessity, he volunteered to return to Bermuda to obtain a 
supply of provisions for suffering Virginians. He died here in 
November ensuing. General J. H. Lefroy, twice Governor 
of Bermuda, caused a tablet to be placed in the wall near his 



BERMUDA. 



53 



monument in St. George's (named after him) containing this 
inscription : 

" Near this spot was interred in the year 1616 the heart 
of the heroic Admiral Sir George Somers, Kt., wlio nobly 
sacrificed his life to carry succour to the infant and suffering 
plantation, now the State of Virginia. To preserve his fame 
for future ages near the scene of his memorable shipwreck, 
1609, the Governor and Commander-in-Chief of this colony, 
for the time being, caused this tablet to be erected 1876." 

The government of the colony was administered by the 
Bermuda Company until 1687, when it was dissolved, and 
Sir Richard Robinson was appointed Governor by the British 
Crown. There is a large number of officials, imperial and 
colonial, whose names make quite an imposing array in the 
pages of the " Bermuda Almanack," a valuable compendium, 
statistical, and historical, published by Mr. Lee, of the Ber- 
in?ida Royal Gazette, a newspaper founded over fifty years 
ago. The Governor's whole salary amounts to $15,000, in- 
cluding, I suppose, his pay as an officer of the British Army; 
of which $3,500 is paid by the Colony. The next largest 
salary is that of the Chief Justice, $3, 500 and fees. In looking 
over the list, I find that the poorest paid officer is the Solicitor- 
General, Richard D. Darrell, who is marked " No salary." 
If scholarly attainments and attractive personal attributes 
constituted the requisites for official place, there would be no 
position, howsoever eminent, beyond Mr. Darrell's deserts, 
nor any that he would not dignify and adorn. And were re- 
muneration commensurate with merit, his emoluments would 
be exceedingly large. 

The Governor of Bermuda is appointed by the Crown, as 
are colonial officials generally, but there is a pretense of rep- 
resentative government, in a House of Assembly, consisting 
of thirty-six members, elected septennially, four from each 



54 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

parish, by qualified voters. Happy land ! where an election 
is held but once in seven years. The number of voters is 
968 — 675 white and 293 colored. Thus there is one repre- 
sentative for every 27 voters. In Smith parish there are 49 
quahfied voters, each Member of Assembly from that pre- 
cinct representing 12 electors, with one extra as a reserve. 
With a like ratio of representation, the State of New York 
would have an Assembly of 100,000 members, and a Sen- 
ate of 25,000. Shade of Buddy Parns ! defend us from any 
increase in the existing membership. 

The resident population of Bermuda, according to the 
census of 1881, is 13,948 — 5,384 white, and 8,564 colored. 
In addition, are som.e hundreds connected with the military 
and naval establishments. Stationed here at present, are the 
Second Battalion (84th) York and Lancaster Regiment of 
Foot, and some companies of Artillery and Royal Engineers. 
This is the headquarters of the British Naval Station for the 
western hemisphere, the fleet in the waters consisting of four- 
teen vessels of various sizes, ranging from the armor-plated, 
double-screw ship, Northampton, 7,630 tons, to the gunboat 
of 430 tons. Among these is a Confederate ram captured 
during our civil war. 

Here are no manufactures, no evidences of mechanical 
occupation, no chimneys reeking with the sulphurous breath 
of toiling machinery. We saw a steam-engine in the carpenter- 
shop of Mr. Jackson, who not only runs the carpenter's horse, 
but a livery stable as well. His main business seemed to be 
the construction of burial cases from the native cedar, which 
apparently makes an attractive, comfortable, and satisfactory 
coffin. Although the climate is a great promoter of longevity, 
there is an occasional death in Bermuda. Mr. Jackson, who is 
an intelligent gentleman of color, of mixed race, with pleasing 
manners and address, showed us a backgammon board, which 



BERMUDA. 55 

contained many variegated specimens of the cedar. Speak- 
ing of the colored population, which largely outnumbers the 
white, except when it comes to voting, the colored people 
are ordinarily quiet, orderly, temperate, and industrious. 
Nearly all the manual labor is performed by them, and there 
are no other domestic servants. They are the pilots, boat- 
men, coachmen, cooks, chambermaids, waiters, and gardeners. 
The whites are merchants, doctors, lawyers, and priests. 

Formerly there was much shipping at this port, but it has 
nearly vanished ; the merchant vessels owned numbering less 
than a dozen, with not more than a hundred manners. Things 
were different in the lush days of blockade-running during our 
civil war, when Bermuda was a favorite resort of the runners. 
Then it was crowded with adventurous sailors, and the ap- 
pearance of the bold privateers, who thronged the streets, 
scattering dollars with lavish hand, must have suggested 
shadowy recollections of old-time stories of dashing buc- 
caneers, sailing among the West Indies, and ravaging the 
Spanish Main. They were calculated to bring to mind the 
wondrous feats of Morgan and Black Beard, which fas- 
cinated our boyhood's days in the "Pirate's Own Book," 
and made the hair stand on end in that dimly-remote 
period when there was hair to stand. This, of course, with- 
out the blood-stains M^hich mark the record of piratical ex- 
ploits ; for the modern privateer was a most inoffensive, mild- 
mannered gentleman, in guileless pursuit of the honest dollar, 
who felt cotton and tested tobacco instead of handling cutlass 
and boarding-pike. No doubt blockade-running was remu- 
nerative to Bermuda, a convenient way-station where seafarers 
stopped for refreshments, and there would be little regret 
felt, perhaps, if another scrimmage were to break out which 
would bring her advantageous position to a profitable market. 
In the matter of wrecking, she presents superior attractions, 



56 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK, 

her coral reefs extending far out to embrace, siren-like, the 
unwary ship, while the tortuous channel of entrance can only 
be threaded by experienced native pilots. But there are not 
many wrecks around in these degenerate days of steam navi- 
gation. Indeed, Bermuda, not to put too* fine a point on it, 
may be described as- quiet. Hamilton Harbor is no longer 
white with sails, nor do the wharves exhibit the bustling ac- 
tivity of a seaport town. Front Street is almost deserted, 
and where 'urst, the gay blockade-runner, adorned the side- 
walk with debonair presence, lethargic trade flows in unevent- 
ful currents through commonplace, sluggish channels. It 
would seem as if nothing could be quieter than Hamilton on 
secular days, but the acme of repose is attained on Sunday, 
which is observed rigidly, with almost Puritanical severity, 
notwithstanding the affiliation of nearly the whole population 
with the Church of England. 

Perhaps this sabbatical tone is owing, in some measure, 
to the fact that Bermuda was settled about the time of Puri- 
tan ascendancy in England, the formal incorporation of the 
Bermuda Company, which administered affiiirs for seventy 
years, having been made under letters-patent granted by 
James I. These colonists would be astonished to drop into 
Chicago, of a Sunday, and see the theatres open and the res- 
taurants arid drinking saloons in full blast. The absence of 
governmental bigotry is evinced in the grant of $50 per an- 
num to every one hundred persons of each denomination ; 
the Established Church receiving $5,000; the Wesleyan, 
$850 ; the British Methodist Church, $400 ; the Presbyterian, 
$350 ; the Roman Catholic, $200, and the Reformed Church 
of England, $200. The rectors of the Church of England re- 
ceive an annual allowance of $700. The religious profession 
of the inhabitants is as follows : Church of England, 10,000 ; 
Wesleyan Methodist, 1,672; British Methodist Episcopal, 



BERMUDA. 57 

752 ; Presbyterian, 686 ; Roman Catholic, 391 ; Reformed 
Church of England, 208 ; other denominations, 236, It will 
thus be seen that the entire population of 13,948 is classified 
according to some religious profession. Evidently there are 
no atheists nor free-thinkers. A prudent eye watches that 
allowance of fifty cents a head. As brusque Dr. McCraith 
used to say, with reprehensible irreverence : " Religion, what 
is it ? Domhins Vobiscum ; down with your money ! " This 
would be a paradise for timid souls who live in constant terror 
of papal aggression. If, as was suggested by the New York 
Herald, some years ago, the Pope should quit Rome and es- 
tablish his See in the Western world, it is not probable that 
Bermuda would be selected ; as a residence with a contiguous 
parish of 391 worshipers, and an allowance of $200 per an- 
num would hardly afford opportunity for elaborate displays 
of the stately ceremonial of the Church of Rome at the Holy 
See. In a religious regard, the English Government afi'ords 
a favorable contrast to the Italian, England supports, Italy 
robs, the Church. 

Bermuda has a tariff on importations. There is a duty of 
four shillings a gallon on spirits, and twenty per cent, ad -va- 
lorem on wines. The revenue of the Colony from importa- 
tions in 1883, was $123,875, of which $62,910 was from 
liquors; $2,665 tobacco and cigars; $1,210 beef cattle, and 
$54>75o from all other sources. Falstaff 's estimate of the 
proper proportion of bread to sack would seem to be carried 
out in these figures, showing the relative receipts from impor- 
tation of spirits and beef. 

For the year 1882, the total value of imports was $1,400,- 
000 ; exports, $450,000 ; showing a balance of trade against 
the colony of $850,000, The greatest disparity is in the 
English trade, for while England exported to Bermuda $300,- 
000, she imported in return but $6,000. The United States 



58 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK, 

did better. We sold the colony $900,000 worth, and bought 
to the amount of $500,000. But it must be borne in mind 
that England sends large sums for the maintenance of her 
military and naval establishments, which in turn maintain 
Bermuda to some extent. 

In 1883, the value of vegetables exported was : Onions, 
$253,000; potatoes, $122,500; tomatoes, $35,000; arrow- 
root, $2,600; beets and other vegetables, $4,500. The ar- 
rowroot is said to be the best in the world, yet, as will be 
seen by the extent of exportation, the production is compar- 
atively insignificant. The onion comes to the front as the 
Bermuda specialty, with the potato a good second in the race. 
One sees onion beds everywhere. The spade is the agricul- 
tural implement in general use. Reapers, mowers, binders, 
tedders, and other labor-saving devices have no use here. 
There is but little grass for the mower to mow ; no grain for 
the reaper to reap ; no sheaves for the binder to bind. Even 
Uncle David Gray's potato-digger would hardly be utilized ; 
the fields are not large enough for its ambitious grasp, which 
extends beyond pent up Utica and broad Marcy to fresh 
fields of illimitable extent. The potato patches are situated 
in nooks. It looks as if there had been a rain of vegetables, 
which ran down the stony hillsides in rivulets and gathered 
into onion ponds in the hollows. After all, the most valuable 
plant in Bermuda is the British Army and Navy. 

The climate is salubrious, particularly in the winter 
months, when the growing vegetation affords a contrast to 
the snow-clad hills of our rigorous Northern clime. Trees 
attain no considerable altitude, but bear the somewhat stunted 
appearance incident to places subjected to high winds. The 
principal timber tree is cedar, which has a grain of diversified 
beauty. This material is used in building the Bermudian 
boats, which have some celebrity from their peculiar rig. 



BERMUDA. 59 

There are palmettoes, tropical trees, and some found in the 
temperate zone. Indeed, in its appearance and products, 
Bermuda is a sort of connecting link between the temperate 
and tropical; with characteristics -of both, but with the ex- 
clusive features of neither. There is an exuberance of flowers, 
particularly roses, which are of extraordinary variety. The 
wonderful display of geraniums would excite the envy of even 
Sam Lane Florus. 

The water is brackish. There are no springs, and rain- 
water is used almost exclusively. Perhaps this accounts for 
the sparing use of this fluid as a beverage. We saw the fa- 
miliar tumbler, found invariably on the American dinner ta- 
ble, but soon learned that it was not intended for water. It 
was a beer glass. One of the dinner habits here is to serve 
beer, after the usual courses of wine, before dessert. No doubt 
it is a good digestive, like the hot whisky punch which is in- 
troduced at the same stage at Irish dinner tables — the " hot 
wather and matayreals." Water being such an expensive 
luxury, the frugal Bermudian, with his simple tastes, is fain 
to content himself with whisky, wine, or beer. Strange how 
rapidly we heeded the scriptural injunction, and did in Ber- 
muda as Bermudians do. The facility with which we fell into 
their habits, reflects credit upon our capacity of assimilation, 
and we manifested the greatest philosophy in becoming recon- 
ciled to our aqueous deprivation. Facilis desceiisus ! The 
water taken aboard the yacht to supply the exhaustion of our 
New York store cost three cents a gallon. Requiring a large 
quantity of ice, it was furnished at twenty dollars a ton. The 
usual price, when purchased at retail, is at the rate of forty dol- 
lars, or two cents a pound. In our voyage to the West In- 
dies, we shall be prudently careful of water, and use it only 
for the purposes for which a kind Providence designed it for 
mankind — cooking- and washins: Notwithstanding; the ab- 



6o THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

stention from the use of water as a beverage, I am informed 
that drunkenness is a rarity in Bermuda. Possibly the igno- 
rance of prohibitory legislation may have some bearing on 
this noteworthy exemption from a crying evil in our own 
land. But there may be a change in this regard. I see by the 
"Bermuda Almanack" that there are some lodges of Good 
Templars established for the promotion of teetotalism. They 
might import a few drunkards for planting. But I don't 
think they could raise a crop. Planting, by the way, is the 
best use a drunkard can be put to. 

The Bermudians may not be entirely abstemious, but 
they are certainly temperate. There are no intoxicating liq- 
uors produced on the island. Soda-water is manufactured to 
some extent — for diluting brandy. There is no danger of a 
drought, however, for there is stored here a quantity of 
American whisky — 90,000 barrels, exported by the distillers 
to evade the payment of internal revenue tax just before the 
expiration of the bonded period. An effort was made to tax 
this whisky for the benefit of the Colony, but it failed. 
Among the surmises as to the moving cause of the incendiar- 
ism which recently destroyed the handsome parish church or 
cathedral, was a suspicion that its contiguity to the ware- 
house where this whisky is stored might secure a wholesale 
unloading of watered stock on the insurance companies. 
This suspicion was as unfounded, no doubt, as the popular 
attribution of the nefarious act to Fenianism, which is a bug- 
bear among cis-Atlantic English Colonies, "to fright the isle 
from its propriety." I took occasion to say that my sym- 
pathies were entirely with the cause of Irish nationalism, but I 
believed this charge was unjust. I was well acquainted with 
some Fenians, and was confident that the cause of Ireland 
did not demand the destruction of the churches of England. 
For the future I felt assured. I knew that the personal friend- 



BERMUDA. 6 1 

ship for me of a gentleman in Utica, N. Y., would prompt 
him to heed my intercession and " let up " on Bermuda, as a 
recognition of the kindness extended to his townsman. 

The drives through Bermuda are delightful. Roads, per- 
fectly smooth, with no dust, wind among deep cuts through 
solid rock, affording sea-views of ever-shifting attractiveness. 
I have never seen anything like the diversified tints of the 
water, varying from a peculiar delicate light blue to the dark 
ultramarine, alternating, as the water is deep or shoal, with 
shimmering colors of green. The foliage, while not showing 
the tender verdure seen at home, is not without beauty. The 
substantial stone walls bordering the road are covered with 
trailing vines, laden with scarlet, white, and pink blossoms ; 
and oleander hedges, geranium beds, and rose trees abound 
in gorgeous display. I question, however, the abundance of 
fruits said to be found here. Except the banana and the 
date, or fig, so called, I failed to find any large supply of 
fruits. The climate is adapted, no doubt, to the growth of 
the strawberry, and it might be cultivated, but it is not ; 
which is a pity. Good old Dr. Boteler said, a couple of hun- 
dred years ago, " Doubtless God could have made a better 
berry ; but doubtless God never did." I would rather have 
the apple orchards of our Clinton hills than all the fruit-trees 
in Bermuda. 

We witnessed a battalion drill of four companies of the 
garrison, under command of Major Luck. The movements 
were not much different from those practiced in our service, 
though the commands were simplified, and better on account 
of their brevity. The bayonet exercise, by battalion de- 
ployed at skirmishing intervals, was admirably performed. I 
have never seen it better done, except, perhaps, by the 
Fifth New York Volunteers (Duryea Zouaves), noted for its 
proficiency in this drill. 



62 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

The most interesting point in Bermuda is Ireland Island, 
containing immense workshops for naval repairs, and the 
famous floating-dock, Bermuda, the largest in the world, 
capable of docking the greatest vessel in any navy. It was 
built in England, and towed across the Atlantic by two men- 
of-war. To place it in position, 1,200,000 cubic feet of sand 
and coral were dredged up. It is 381 feet long, and there 
are in it no less than 3,000,000 rivets. The ship of war Tene- 
dos, of about 2,000 tons burden, was in dock while we were 
there, and it looked like a small vessel in the dwarfing em- 
brace ot the mammoth dock. We lunched with Captain 
Clapp, Royal Navy, an officer in charge, who had sent his 
steam-launch to convey us to the yard. Captain Clapp, a 
model British naval officer, is also an enthusiastic yachtsman 
and Commodore of the Bermuda Club. 

A dingey race took place while we lay in the harbor. 
The Bermudians are not given to brevity in the matter of 
titles ; and the imposing magnitude of its name, " The Royal 
Hamilton Amateur Dingey Club," is in inverse ratio with 
the size of the boats of this organization ; the maximum 
length permitted being fourteen feet, one inch. Ordinarily 
these races are quite exciting and attended with ludicrous 
mishaps. The peculiar rig, with the mast set forward, ren- 
ders the dingey liable to take headers into the waves and go 
under if the sea should be running high. The race in ques- 
tion was tame, the wind not blowing fresh enough to cause 
any of the accidents which give zest to the lively contests. 
These little boats are handled with much skill. 

The Government House, the Governor's official residence, 
was under a self-imposed quarantine on account of the illness 
of one of General Gallwey's children, but the General paid a 
visit to the yacht, accompanied by his son (a fine young offi- 
cer, his A. D. C. and private secretary) and his daughter, 



BERMUDA. 6S 

regarding whom I took the liberty of respectfully suggesting, 
to her brother, that she was beautiful and graceful enough to 
be taken for an American girl. The Lieutenant, however, 
would not admit our national superiority, but stoutly main- 
tained English supremacy, saying that Rotten Row, in Hyde 
Park, would afford an exhibition of charms unequaled in the 
world. But, although an intelligent young man, he is not 
well educated in this important matter ; he has never been 
in the United States. He intends to visit us one of these 
days, and if he should, I will have him come to Utica. 
There he will find how greatly he is mistaken. 

The Governor is a man of varied knowledge, thoroughly 
conversant with public matters throughout the world, and 
particularly well informed in American affairs. He was in 
the United States during the war, but Secretary Stanton de- 
nied him the facilities he desired to witness our operations. 
The General did not know how to obtain favors from the 
War Department. He ought to have procured the influence 
of some political shouter or shoddy contractor to aid him. The 
Governor appears to be in high favor with the Bermudians. 
I have no doubt, however, that the popularity of his admin- 
istration (enhanced by his agreeable manners and charming 
family surroundings) is aided to a considerable extent by the 
efficiency of the Colonial Secretary, Hon. Cavendish Boyle, 
who administers his office with ability that would be marked 
in a more important position. 

The superiority of the well-regulated English Civil Ser- 
vice system, to our disjointed, erratic way of doing things, is 
illustrated in his case. Men are trained to diplomatic and 
governmental service, and are transferred from one place to 
another, as occasion requires. Appointments depend in 
some degree upon political influence, and administrative 
changes involving distribution of patronage, but the abom- 



64 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

inable doctrine, " to the victors belong the spoils," applied to 
subordinate positions, does not obtain. With us, whenever 
there is a change of administration, every "leader" in the 
victorious ranks, who can run a ward caucus successfully, be- 
comes a candidate for something, or rather anything, from 
Secretary of the Treasury, to sweeper in a Government. build- 
ing. Civil service in England is genuine ; with us it is a base 
pinchbeck imitation, a good deal like the high-sounding pro- 
fessions in political platforms, and protestations of windy 
demagogues. The difficulty is that our public men lack the 
courage to disregard the clamors of the office-seeking mob. 



CHAPTER VI. 

HOSPITABLE BERMUDA. 

Letter-writing — Laziness — In re Darrelli — Festivities — Prospero's Grot 
— The Mess Dinner — Benny Havens, Oh ! — Uncle John — The Happy 
Valley — Lily Bower — At Home — The Hand-Clasp. 

On Board Montauk, at Sea, 
March 9, 1884, Lat. 31.49 N., Lon. 63.51 W. 

I HAD intended to write you again before leaving Hamilton 
Harbor, but lavish Bermudian hospitalities interposed insur- 
mountable obstacles. I might say, they erected barriers of 
mountainous generosity, although the expression may ap- 
pear exaggerated to those who have not been enabled, by 
experience, to appreciate the appositeness of the simile. 
What with dinners, luncheons, drives, " moist" chats at the 
Club, visits to the barracks and dock-yard ; together with 
reciprocal entertainment aboard the yacht, to the limited 
extent afforded by shore preoccupation, we barely have had 
time to meet our engagements, with none to spare for letter- 
writing. Besides, no one who has not felt the laziness of 
sea-voyaging can understand the effort required to write. 
When, for example, one embarks on a steamer for Europe, 
he collects a small library of books — mainly of the light liter- 
ary complexion — and provides ample store of writing ma- 
terials, with suitable blanks for memoranda, jottings, journals 
of travel, observations, and data for interesting communica- 
tions to friends " we have left behind ; " but the chances are 
5 



66 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

that not a letter will be written aboard, and hardly a book 
read. But on a steamer there is the acceptable excuse of 
looking after the ladies on deck, placing chairs, arranging 
shawls and rugs, encircling — ahem ! — when the ship " heels," 
and paying those general and particular little attentions ob- 
ligatory at sea; while we, having no ladies on board, can 
offer no such pretext for epistolary negligence, and must 
frankly attribute it to the real cause — laziness. I hope these 
desultory scribblings may be intehigible ; and, although dis- 
jointed and shapeless, not uninteresting. At any rate, they 
possess the novelty of being written at sea, and if there 
should be nothing fresh in them, please bear in mind that 
the sea is always brackish. 

After boring you with all the dry statistics contained in 
my last letter, I may be pardoned for introducing here some 
notes of personal experiences, which may not be of much in- 
terest to you, but were vastly entertaining to our party while 
in progress. 

The afternoon of our arrival at Bermuda, we were invited 
by Mr. Henry Darrell to drive to Cavendish, the residence 
of his father, formerly Chief Justice of the Colony, who had 
a little party to celebrate the fifty-eighth anniversary of his 
marriage. As we drove along a road that wound through 
the grounds, and approached the house (the only one in Ber- 
muda from which the sea is not visible), a charming sight 
met our eyes. In a lovely, tree-shaded glade, a number of 
young ladies and gentlemen were playing tennis and a sort 
of game something like our base-ball, and the scene was 
strikingly like a rural view in England. Beneath the spread- 
ing branches of a tree near the house, a table was spread with 
suitable refreshments, of which the guests partook at their 
convenience. We were presented to the Chief Justice, a 
venerable, well-preserved, suave gentleman, whose eighty- 



HOSPITABLE BERMUDA. 6/ 

eighth birthday was close at hand, and his wife, a handsome, 
cheerful, stately old lady of eighty-one, who stood by his 
side, entering with hearty zest into the youthful enjoyment 
of the generations of their descendants by whom they were 
surrounded. We took a glass of wine with the aged couple, 
and couldn't help but be impressed with the exceptional 
length of time that they were permitted to live together, in 
placid communion, unclouded by care, exemplifying, in an 
eminent degree, the beauties of domestic life. 

The Darrell connection seems to be a large one in Ber- 
muda, and, from the dignified Chief Justice, "full of wise 
saws and modern instances," to the "Infant" of Mr. John 
H. Darrell, Jr., redolent of spirits and vivacity — " babe in 
the house, a well-spring of pleasure " — they appear to be a 
truly happy family. 

In the evening we dined with Mr. Henry Darrell, who 
lives in a quaint, commodious house, two hundred years old, 
full of nooks and crannies that would delight the heart of 
that unreasonable, pessimistical old fogy who writes on 
musty topics in the Utica newspapers, finding nothing to 
suit him now-a-days. The obsolete four-posted bedsteads 
and cedar chests of drawers, of veritable antique pattern, 
would be things of beauty and joy to him, although he would 
resent the absence of dust, to which Mr. Darrell's sister, and 
housekeeper, appears to have an unconquerable aversion. 
Our host sat at the head of his bounteous table and carved, 
in the good old-fashioned way, spicing the delicious dishes 
with frequent bon-inots and funny stories, for he is a witty ra- 
eonteiir, with copious store of anecdote, foreign and domes- 
tic, at the command of his ready tongue. He lives, like a 
fine old English gentleman, on his own estate. He men- 
tioned, with much complacency, that on the table were di- 
verse products of his own farm — the fowls were from his barn- 



68 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

yard, the vegetables fresh plucked from his garden, the fish 
caught that day on his own fish- farm, in pots set in front of 
the shore Of his demesne, and the flowers grew invitingly 
around the latch-string that hangs outside his hospitable 
porch. It must be admitted that the wines were not of 
home vintage, but of choice importation — a whiff from 
the open mouth of a special bottle of Santa Cruz rum came 
like a reminiscence of the halcyon days when a famous cellar 
in Utica responded to the calls of Aaron Burr, the venerable 
ex-mayor, contemporary of James Crumley, and other gentle- 
men, all of the olden time, who wore ruffled shirts and knee 
breeches. The exceptional coolness of the evening (it must 
have been nearly as cold as a May day in New York) afforded 
a pretext for lighting the unusual fire, which shone upon us 
with homelike gleam when Ave returned to the cheerful draw- 
ing-room. We found that the post-prandial cigar, an indis- 
pensable adjunct to the American feast, is not an habitual 
sequence to the Bermudian dinner. Universal smoking is 
not a feature here. We met many men who did not smoke 
at all, and but few are cigar-smokers, the pipe and cigarette 
furnishing fumiferous indulgence to the votaries of tobacco. 
After a brief acquaintance with it, I don't wonder that the 
Bermudian cigar finds small favor. 

Proffers of entertainment greatly exceeded the capacity 
of acceptance during the period allotted for our stay. The 
British Army and Navy officers vied with colonial residents 
on -the extension of kindly attention. A dinner given by Mr. 
F. W. J. Hurst, at which Capt. Chase and Mr. D. S. Apple- 
ton, of New York, and Mr. Bloor, of Philadelphia, were 
present, was most enjoyable, and fully maintained the reputa- 
tion held by the jovial host in the city of his adoption. 

Lady Commerell, wife of Vice-Admiral Sir John E. Com- 
merell, in command of the naval station, sent us cards for 



HOSPITABLE BERMUDA. 69 

her reception, and being unable to accept, our regrets were 
sent by one of the quartermasters, a spruce young sailor, in 
yacht uniform. Admiralty House being distant, he procured 
a carriage and was driven up there ; the sight of a sailor, in 
full seaman's rig, riding in solitary grandeur, being something 
of a novelty. Somebody suggested that a bicycle would have 
been a more stunning vehicle for nautical service. Then he 
would have been taken for part of the United States Navy. 

Mr. Boyle and Lieut. Gallwey gave a dinner at the Club, 
with a capital menu, but particularly pleasant in its con- 
genial characterization. It sparkled with wit, humor, sen- 
timent and song, Avery late game of pool was .engaged 
in after dinner, which was played differently from the 
American game, each player having a special object ball \ 
but one of our party came off triumphantly, winner of two 
shillings. Thus did he inflict retributive financial justice upon 
Bermuda for harboring blockade-runners during our war ; 
and, as there were some English army officers participating, 
give the tail of the British lion a severe twist, maintaining de- 
fiantly the honor and glory of the American qtieiie. Who 
will dare to say after this that the billiard tables of the Fort 
Schuyler Club were set up in vain ? The table was not of 
moderri pattern, but a broad, verdant expanse, across which 
Friede could not be discerned without a telescope. It was 
aptly compared to a tennis-court, with marbles for balls. Ac- 
cording to custom, all games are played for a stake, to make 
them interesting. With us, the hazard, however small, would 
constitute reprehensible gambling. We have some crude and 
erroneous ideas, which are in gradual progress of correction, 
among intelligent and cultivated persons who have oppor- 
tunities to observe the manners and customs of other lands. 

It is habitual in England always to play for a stake of some 
kind. In a game of whist, ladies play for sixpenny or shilling 



70 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

counters, in which they see no impropriety. Imagine ladies 
in the United States sitting at a table and — gambling ! Proh 
p7idor ! the pew-door would come down on them with a ven- 
geance. Unfortunately, boisterous extremists and addle-pated 
fanatics have too much clamorous influence in directing public 
opinion with us. They drown the quiet voice of moderation 
and good-sense. Great is pretense, and the blatherskite is its 
prophet ! The fanatic sees no difference of demerit between 
moderate drinking and drunkenness ; and, in his eyes, playing 
for a small stake, to enhance the interest in an amusement, is 
abominable equally with professional gambling, cheating at 
cards, reckless improvidence, and ruinous infatuation with a 
vice. His argument is that if cards and dice were not used, 
there would be none of these deplorable evils of gaming. 
True, and so if there were no water, men couldn't commit 
suicide by drowning. They would have to resort to some 
other mode of exhibiting insanity ; they would have to cut 
their throats or hang themselves. Then the fanatic would 
prohibit ropes and razors. 

The dinner of the Royal Bermuda Yacht Club deserves 
more than passing mention. It was given on an island be- 
longing to the Club, which is fitted up with all conveniences 
for a recreative retreat. Here the members assemble and 
enjoy themselves to their heart's content. As one of them 
remarked, they are remote from prying curiosity, and can 
indulge in hilarity without bated breath. Green turtle be- 
came the piece de resistance. The noble reptile was served 
in all the most approved styles, turtle soup, turtle steak, and 
turtle fins, the latter an esteemed delicacy. We ate so 
much of these that we were imable to do justice to other 
toothsome viands. But it is not an every-day dish with us. 
The good-natured turtle is not in the habit of sprawling 
along the shore of Staten Island, inviting somebody to 



HOSPITABLE BERMUDA. 7 1 

catch and eat him, as it is his benevolent custom in Ber- 
muda. The President, Mr. Richard D. Darrell, presided over 
the jolly yachtsmen with a graceful tact that added much to 
the unflagging gayety of the symposium. The responses to 
numerous toasts were apt and to the point; the remarks of 
the Commodore, Uncle John, and the Commissioner being 
notably pertinent and well-timed. Uncle John responded for 
the Ladies, and an effort was made to induce him to explain 
the hand-clasp, for the use of the natives after his departure, 
but it failed. In these things he never gives anything away. 
About midnight, we left this joyous island, under a bright 
moonlight, with a spanking breeze, in club yachts, full of 
turtle, and with abundant material for pleasant recollections 
of the Royal Bermuda Yacht Club. 

We drove out to the residence of Mr, Allen, U. S. Con- 
sul, situated on the ocean side, six miles from Hamilton ; 
a charming islet, connected with the main island by a short 
bridge over the narrow stream that creates the insular dis- 
severance. This might well be the spot (it is somewhere in 
Bermuda) where the entranced eyes of Ferdinand beamed 
revealingly upon the unenlightened virgin heart of Miranda 
and quickened it into loving fruition. 

" Thy banks with peonied and UUed brims, 
Which spungy April at thy hest betrinis, 
To make cold nymphs chaste crowns." 

Caliban no longer resides here, but a large monkey served 
to do the monster business. 

We met, at luncheon, Dr. and Mrs. Brower, of Utica, and 
some other American visitors, who had been invited to join 
us. Mr. Allen has a taste for ichthyology, and his aquarium 
contains some curious specimens, among them the brilliant 
angel-fish. A curious creature is the trunk-crab, which 



72 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

packs up its claws and marches off like a belle preparing for 
a season at the sea-shore. The operation of this shell-fish is 
a reminder of the man who lifts himself up by the waistband 
of his trousers. We went to the sea-shore, the boundary of 
Mr. Allen's property, and saw the growing coral. It is not 
of the valuable variety, like the pink and red of the Mediter- 
ranean, but the ordinary gray madrepore. 

Mr. Allen has been Consul here for twenty-three years, 
and we heard many expressions among the inhabitants of the 
hope that a change of administration would not effect his re- 
moval. Those simple islanders are not aware that it is our 
patriotic duty as freemen to rally on the colors every four 
years and try to turn the rascals out. The man who is out, 
inspired by a lofty sense of duty, always regards the man 
who is in as a rascal. We haven't succeeded in turning them 
out to any extent for the past twenty-five years, but we shall 
accomplish our disinterested object in time. Everything 
comes to him who waits, even though he waits unwillingly. 
We outside patriots are singing, " There's a good time com- 
ing, boys ; wait a little longer. " A change will come. The 
desire for a change, like Hope, springs eternal in the human 
breast. Hope has fooled us several times, but she can't do it 
much longer. 

We dined with the Mess of the Eighty-fourth, and nothing 
could excel the cordiality with which we were received. The 
dinner was excellent, served on the mess-plate of the regi- 
ment, massive and elegant, appropriately inscribed, bearing 
on each piece the regimental crest. It is customary when an 
officer leaves the regiment, or is transferred, to present a 
piece of plate to the Mess, and the accumulations of years 
form a large and handsome service. In accordance with 
their rule, the only toast offered at table was the Queen, 
which was received with the usual antiphon, God bless her ! 



HOSPITABLE BERMUDA. ']'i^ 

As a stanch republican, it is my duty to frown on queens 
in the abstract, but I Hke to see the honest and loyal enthu- 
siasm displayed by these soldiers for their sovereign, so I 
joined in heartily and said, " The Queen, God bless her ! " 
though she is not My Queen. Mine is uncrowned. 

After leaving the table, there was a social gathering in the 
mess-room, which was a most refreshing and profitable sea- 
son, as the deacons say after a revival, if the plate " pans 
out " satisfactorily. Unconstrained soldierly, festal fervor 
prevailed. A toast to the United States Army was accom- 
panied by hearty cheers, and one of the guests, who had 
seen a little service in the army while fighting was going on, 
was called upon to respond. He said that in the crest of this 
regiment he found an analogy which permitted him to refer 
to the present condition of our country, but lately rent by the 
war for the Union. It bears a reminder of fierce civil con- 
flict, buried long ago in the history of a past century, but the 
whilom badges of antagonism now form an emblem of unity, 
and the white rose of York and the Lancasterian red com- 
bine, in alternate leaves, in the arms of the Eighty-fourth 
Regiment, forming, with the green laurel that crowns the 
record of the gallant command, a rainbow of promise of 
future amity. So with our own land, but a short time ago 
divided by warring forces. Now, contention has passed away, 
and the lofty pine of Maine and the palmetto of South Car- 
olina are swayed by the same breeze of peaceful unity, 
breathing the assurance of uninterrupted harmony among 
our confederated people for evermore. 

At the conclusion of his short speech, in answer to a per- 
sistent call, he sang the army song of " Benny Havens, Oh ! " 
the British officers joining enthusiastically in the chorus, 
although it was the rebel tune of " The Wearing of the 
Green." 



74 



THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 



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Air — Wearing of the green. 



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HOSPITABLE BERMUDA. 



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Beneath his daisy shelter-tent, 
In calm repose Meade lies, 

The stars he wore so brilliantly 
Are transferred to the skies, 



'j6 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

Where, in the Army of the Blest, 

For evermore they glow 
Upon a private in the ranks 

With Benny Havens, Oh ! 

Choriis. 



We'll cherish in our memory green. 

The gallant Sedgwick's name. 
He lay down in a mantle of 

Imperishable fame, 
To waken when the Reveille 

Shall summon friend and foe 
To everlasting brotherhood 

With Benny Havens, Oh ! 

Chorus. 



With wreath of immo7'telle , the grave 

Of Sumner's fitly crowned, 
As through the echoing halls of time 

His glories still resound ; 
The page of truthful history 

Fresh honors will bestow; 
He'll, hand in hand, by Reynolds stand 

With Benny Havens, Oh ! 

Chorus, 



At Burnside's bier we drop a tear 

For soldier sunk to rest ; 
A knightly soul has reached its goal 

'Neath Hooker's honored crest ; 
In warlike lays, we'll chant the praise 

Of trusty Fighting Joe, 
Until the day we serve for aye 

With Benny Havens, Oh ! 

Chorus. 



HOSPITABLE BERMUDA. 77 

Upon the James, the Rapidan, 

And Rappahannock's shore, 
We lost heroic soldier friends, 

On earth to meet no more ; 
But when the angel trumpet shall 

The last Assembly blow. 
We'll find them in the shining host 

With Benny Havens, Oh ! 

Chorus. 



Mid ghostly wails, the cypress trails 

Dark plumes on Malvern's height, 
With plaintive thrill, the whippoorwill 

Pipes for a spectral fight ; 
See Morn advance, with radiant lance 

And Chanticleer's bold crow. 
Back to the sky the shadows fly 

With Benny Havens, Oh ! 

CJwrtts. 



While gathered at the festive board, 

Will yet remembered be 
The Army of the Cumberland, 

And of the Tennessee ; 
The broad Potomac with their flood 

Unites in loving flow — 
A mighty tide of comradeship 

With Benny Havens, Oh ! 

Chorus. 



The summer wind sighs softly through 

Atlanta's lovely vale, 
A fragrant hymn of requiem, 

McPherson to bewail ; 



78 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

O'er Thomas, on Mount Ida's slope, 

Sweet roses incense throw ; 

Deep in our hearts are both enshrined 

With Benny Havens, Oh ! 

Chorus. 



Down under battle-mounds that fleck 

Fair fields with ghastly green, 
The busy worm, on tireless loom, 

Weaves, in celestial sheen. 
From warp of blue and woof of gray, 

Robes white as driven snow ; 
The uniform for Judgment Day 

Of Benny Havens, Oh ! 

Chorus. 



When life's campaign is at an end, 

And we are mustered out. 
The Yankee cheer and Rebel yell 

Will mingle in one shout ; 
We'll greet our late antagonists, 

And then no more shall know, 
Nor Union nor Confederate 

With Benny Havens, Oh ! 



Chorus. 



For our noble first comm.ander. 

We crush a cup of wine, 
To sprinkle on the laurels bright 

That round his deeds entwine ; 
To the well-beloved chieftain 

Let bumpers overflow, 
May he live long to sing the song 

Of Benny Havens, Oh ! 

Chorus. 



HOSPITABLE BERMUDA. 79 

Among the songs sung was one by Major Santi, Deputy 
Commissary- General (to the accompaniment of his guitar, 
touched with much taste and expression), which struck me as 
being a really clever " skit," showing the impatience of the 
loving nephew waiting for his inheritance. It was a trav- 
esty on Moore's well-known lines from the " Fire Worship- 
ers," and as I had never seen it in print, Major Santi was 
good enough to give me a copy. 

UNCLE JOHN. 

I never loved a young gazelle, 

Because as how I never tried, 
And if I had, I know full well 

The poor young creature would have died. 
My old and wealthy Uncle John, 

I've known him long, I've loved him well, 
But still he will go living on — 

I wish he were a young gazelle. 

I never had tree, fruit, or flower. 

But if I had, \f ithout a doubt, , 

Some cruel frost, or wind, or shower 

Would just have come and snuffed them out. 
I've dearly loved my Uncle John, 

From childhood to the present hour. 
But still he will go living on — 

I wish he were tree, fruit, or flower. 

I've often heard that death destroys 

Whilst still they're innocent and young. 
The good, the nice, pure little boys, 

And spares the biggest rogues unhung ; 
Whene'er I see my Uncle John 

This solemn thought occurs to me, 
As Uncle John goes living on — 

How wicked Uncle John must be ! 



80 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

We were loath to part with our agreeable hosts when the 
time came, and, at their earnest solicitation, we deferred our 
retirement until an hour when those who go to bed early 
were taking their second nap. I will confess that during this 
symposium the hatred of " England's cruel red," which ought 
to burn fiercely in my Celtic breast, was but a puny and lag- 
gard flame. But it will revive when I return, and listen to a 
speech or two from my friend the State Senator, calculated to 
fire the Hibernian heart. 

Long, long ago, I read Johnson's " Rasselas." It was so 
long ago that I have forgotten what it was about, the story 
having been crowded out of my mind by the light literature 
of this period — census reports, health statistics, the Congres- 
sional Globe, and such entertaining reading matter — but I re- 
member that there was a happy valley in it ; and so there is 
in Bermuda. General Hastings, a gallant officer from Ohio, 
in our army, was badly wounded at Winchester, fighting under 
Sheridan. He suffered severely for many years, a rifle-ball 
remaining in his leg until quite recently. He tried wintering 
in various places, but found none that agreed with him so 
well as Bermuda. He has spent the winters here for six 
years past, and has become the owner of extensive property, 
advantageously situated on the sea-shore, his handsome resi- 
dence, looking like a marble front, standing on a command- 
ing eminence a short distance inland. Here, not far from 
the house, is Cameron Valley, where nestle his extensive lily- 
beds, divided into five plantations by hedges of oleanders, 
which serve the double purpose of marking boundaries and 
sheltering the fragile flowers from blighting winds. The beds 
are in progressive stages of development ; from the spherical 
bulb imprisoning the corolla, and the partially unfolded 
calyx— a dress of green with white trimmings — to the sil- 
very blossom, with graceful outspreading leaves, guarding 



I 
J 



HOSPITABLE BERMUDA. 8l 

the golden stamen. The bed containing the developed flow- 
ers looked as if covered with a quilt of pearly whiteness, on 
which deft fingers had embroidered dainty designs of lucent 
splendor, in bewildering repetition of exuberant beauty. 

General Hastings' success in his first efforts to cultivate 
this Easter-lily encouraged him to engage in wholesale pro- 
duction, and he now sends large quantities of bulbs to New 
York, England, and Holland, where they find a ready mar- 
ket. This year he expects to raise 300,000 lilies. His lame- 
ness prevented him from going with us, so Mrs. Hastings, 
accompanied b)' a young American lady, her visitor, acted 
as our fitting guide to this fairy lily-vale. With her own 
hands, she gathered a large quantity of lilies, which were 
used in the decoration of the Montauk for the reception next 
day, and, although on that occasion the saloon was actually 
smothered in flowers, the lily was given the place of honor, 
and every one who entered saluted a single lily placed above 
the door. 

Commodore Piatt gave an At Home on the Montauk 
the second day before sailing. Miss Gallwey, Miss Hurst, 
Mrs. Brower, and others sent aboard flowers in great abun- 
dance, and these, supplementing the lilies, gave the saloon of 
the yacht the semblance of a bower. Indeed we gave it the 
name "Lily Bower," which it will retain during the voyage 
at least. Colonel Simpson, of the 84th, kindly sent the Reg- 
imental Band to play on deck, and all the accessories of a re- 
ception were present, including a bountiful supply of suit- 
able refreshments. There was a general acceptance of the 
invitations sent out, and the guests numbered several hundred, 
among them many British army and navy officers with their 
families, and numerous American visitors. The guests were 
brought aboard on a steam-tug, and the manner in which 
Uncle John did the honors in transit was the theme of feeling 
6 



82 THE CkUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

comment. The Uncle John hand-clasp will long survive in 
fair Bermudian minds, a cherished tradition of an inimitable 
manifestation of chivalrous gallantry, administered gently, 
with delicate tenderness and courteous deference. The hand- 
somely-dressed ladies, interspersed with gentlemen in parti- 
colored costumes, relieved by the bright mass of red-coated 
musicians stationed on the forward deck, made it a pic- 
turesque subject for the photographer, who took a view 
which I send you. The At Home proved to be a distin- 
guished success, comparing advantageously, I am told, with 
a similar reception given by Lady Brassey aboard the Sun- 
beam. 

Even were I unmindful of the old adage about the odious- 
ness of comparison, I would be at a loss did I venture to 
make an estimate of the relative attractiveness of the ladies 
of the several nationalities who honored us with their pres- 
ence. While our own fair countrywomen are always entitled 
to first place, it must be acknowledged that the English and 
Bermudian ladies were worthy rivals, and some of them even 
showed claims to precedence worthy of consideration. It 
must be borne in mind, however, that we were not in Utica ; 
there, rivalry would have been hopeless. 

The great event of modern times in Bermuda was the visit, 
last year, of H. R. H. the Princess Louise. It forms a theme 
of constant consideration, and the 'Mudians roll the oft-re- 
peated recital of incidents under their loyal tongues with 
great relish. The calabash tree of Tom Moore, beneath 
which he wrote many verses when he was a public function- 
ary here, has withered into insignificance since the royal- ad- 
vent. The place where the Princess landed is held as hal- 
lowed ground, and the Island has become a sort of sacred 
soil — it is the Lisula Sanctorum of the West. The amiability 
and gracious manners of the Princess won the hearts of her 



HOSPITABLE BERMUDA. 83 

subjects, and she is entitled, beyond question, to the un- 
stinted praise bestowed upon her. 

It has just occurred to me that my letter is getting lono-, 
and there is a sameness about its tone which will make it 
tedious. It is a rambling sort of a thing, with too much of 
the personal in it perhaps, but I could not repress the feel- 
ings which prompt this expression of grateful recognition of 
Bermudian hospitality and courtesy. The climate of Ber- 
muda is one of the best in winter ; still, I could find lands 
with much greater physical attractions. But as a frank, hon- 
est, genial, hospitable people, well-educated, cultured and re- 
fined, it would be difficult to find the superior of the inhabit- 
ants of this island, comparatively isolated from the great 
world of fashion. 

Up to the 28th of February, Anno Domini, 1884, the 
great event of Bermuda had been the visit of the Princess 
Louise. Since that day I doubt whether the visit will main- 
tain its super-eminence. To suggest how it was supple- 
mented by a greater event would test our modesty of pre- 
tension. But up to that red-letter day, the hand-clasp of 
Uncle John was unknown in Bermuda. 



CHAPTER VII. 

AT SEA. . 

A Frustrated Conspiracy — Getting Away — A Tortuous Channel — De- 
scription of Yacht — A Lazy Life — Lounging Occupation — Cloud 
Scenery — Amusements — Sartorial — Pills — Detergent. 

On Board Montauk, at Sea, 
March 12, 1884, Lat. 24' 32° N., Long. 59' 59° W. 

With firm resolution and unbending will to enforce it, we 
are enabled to overcome the temptations that beset our path 
through life. The difficulty is in the application of it, as 
Captain Cuttle, Catlin, or some other sage and philosopher, 
wisely remarked concerning the efficient administration of a 
mustard-plaster, the unsparing rod that keeps the child from 
spoiling, a city government, or something of that sort. We 
managed, at last, to escape from Bermuda (although you 
haven't escaped yet, as you see I persist in writing about it), 
eluding the tenacious grasp of persistent friendly ministra- 
tions ; and it was not easily shaken, you may be sure. We 
escaped, despite the job put up to detain the Commodore, on 
a trumped-up charge for some fancied violations of non-exist- 
ent harbor laws, alleged, on the complaint of Mr. Boyle, the 
genial and clever Colonial Secretary, papers being prepared 
in due form, imposingly endorsed " On Her Majesty's Ser- 
vice." We even evaded the vigilance of the police force, 
which has been greatly augmented recently on account of the 
Fenian scare. Including the chief and assistant, it is now a 
formidable and awe-inspiring body of three full-grown men. 



AT SEA. 85 

To escape required a great effort of will-power ; as the mes- 
merist said to the Brevet Corporal when he tried to persuade 
him that an experimental half-dollar, which he placed in his 
hand illustratively, was red hot, which Bob didn't feel, and 
thus retained and pocketed the coin. I have read somewhere 
of a bailiff who boarded a vessel to libel it, and was carried off 
to sea, papers and all ; and so with us. The Commodore ac- 
cepted service of the generous effort to detain him, and then 
sailed away, carrying the futile writ of ne exeat, to be pre- 
served among the agreeable recollections of our visit as the 
only abortive effort of Bermudian hospitality. 

Shortly after noon, then, on March 8th, we weighed an- 
chor in Hamilton Harbor, hoisted sail, saluted the colors of 
the Royal Bermuda Yacht Club (accompanying the salute 
with cheers, which came back stoutly re-echoed from the 
balcony of the Club House), and so, regretfully, left Bermuda. 
We sailed away in fine style. It was a cloudless day, and 
the wind, though light, was in the right quarter for a favor- 
able " slant," with the Hamilton shore to leeward, giving 
the spectators assembled to see us off a fine view of the 
graceful vessel, as she swept by in conscious strength and 
beauty. Scarcely was the anchor hoisted to her bow, when 
she moved off as if, instead of lying idle in port for ten days, 
with her sails furled, she had kept them filled with wind, 
stowed away, canned, as it were, ready to start at the word 
go. She might be compared to a dog that had been lying 
down, rising, turning half around, and then starting off briskly 
on a trot. We saluted the American flag with the prescribed 
honors while passing the office of the U. S. Consul. Cap- 
tain Chase accompanied us, wath Mr. Trimmingham, Rear 
Commodore of the Bermuda Club, and a son of Mr. Richard 
Darrell, a genuine young sea-dog, who can sail his dingey 
with the best of them, and "take a swim" — which is 



86 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

the 'Mudian euphemism for sinking one of these plucky- 
little boats in a race — without a growl. We were guided 
out by black Peter Smith, the same pilot who brought us in. 
Being a pilot, and a black Peter, he is probably connected 
with blue-peter, the flag raised when a vessel is about to sail. 
At any rate, he is an old-salt Peter. No doubt, too, he is re- 
lated to the Smith family. I judge so from his name. He 
quit us at St. George's, receiving a handsome gratuity, in 
addition to the " ten bob " given him for conveying ashore 
the gentlemen who accompanied us thus far. Sailing through 
it again, we were enabled to appreciate more fully how nar- 
row and crooked is the channel that leads to Hamilton harbor 
of safety. It doesn't carry out the scriptural simile. It is 
narrow, but not straight — a sort of half-and-half — like some 
professors of religion. We had expected to take a tugboat 
to tow us out, but managed to get along without one ; for to 
sail both in and out the harbor unaided was a feather in the 
cap of the already profusely-beplumed Montauk. 

Perhaps you may be interested in the description of the 
vessel in which we are cruising to West Indies and the Span- 
ish Main ; in a jog-trot, humdrum sort of way, so unadventu- 
rous as hardly to afford matter for a readable letter ; always 
saving and excepting the violent gales heretofore mentioned, 
which were not entirely devoid of interest to those who were 
staring in the face an impending possibility of satisfying, by 
personal observation, any curiosity they might have regard- 
ing the contents of the locker down below. 

The Montauk is a schooner yacht of 87.52 tons, Custom 
House register, but 200 tons carpenter's measurement. She 
is a centre-board vessel, having under her, amidships, what is 
called a centre-board, which may be lowered or raised at will 
from the deck. The English call it a false-keel. When sail- 
ing before the Avind it is raised, but when close-hauled it is 



AT SEA. 87 

let down to the full extent, thus affording a resistant power 
which keeps the vessel steady and up to her work. The 
draught of water, without the board, is nine feet, with the full 
board down, twenty-one feet. There is great difference of 
opinion among yachtsmen as to the relative merits of keel 
and centre-board, the English having no faith in the board, 
while Americans are divided in their views. The main ob- 
jection advanced to the centre-board craft is that she is not 
well adapted to meet heavy weather at sea, but the proof of 
the pudding is in the eating, and the Montauk, which is a 
representative boat of her kind, has not only done the fastest 
sailing in races, but, during the first week of this voyage, has 
demonstrated her stanch, sea-worthy qualities in the sever- 
est tests. During the strong gales experienced in the Gulf 
Stream she never shipped a green sea. 

The Montauk is 104 feet long, 251^ feet beam in the wid- 
est part amidships, sharp forward, and with a clean run aft. 
Her mainmast is 104 feet from deck to truck. The deck is 
four feet above water-line, and bulwarks eighteen inches over 
the deck, thus making the rail 5^ feet above the water. 

The saloon is 18 feet by 12, clear of berths. The owner's 
room, about amidships on the starboard side, is luxuriously 
fitted up, with a wide bed and all appropriate adjuncts. Off 
his room is the bath-room, where one may bathe either in 
salt or fresh water, the salt water running in from the sea, 
through a faucet beneath the water-line. On the opposite, 
or port, side, is another state-room of smaller size ; and the 
sailingmaster's quarters, a wash-room, and steward's pantry. 
There are also two state-rooms in the quarter aft, opening 
from the companion-way. The saloon contains four commo- 
dious berths. Forward of the steward's pantry is the cook's 
galley, and beyond that, a light and comfortable forecastle for 
the sailors' occupancy. 



88 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

The saloon is finished in solid mahogany, carved, except 
the ceilings, which are white, picked out with gold, the 
panels being exquisitely wrought in minute circles, applied 
with a delicate camel's hair brush, producing the efifect of a 
flash of gold. The mast-case has carved on it a leviathan, 
with the first verse of the forty-first chapter of Job : " Canst 
thou draw out leviathan with an hook ? or his tongue with a 
cord which thou lettest down ? " Flanking this case, are 
shelves filled with books. Side-boards of handsome carved 
mahogany are in the corners. The hangings are of heavy 
Japanese silk, embroidered with the leviathan design. Chairs 
and sofas are covered with silk seal-plush containing the 
yacht monogram. The chandelier consists of three massive 
bronze lamps, suspended beneath the skylight from the 
mouth of a figure representing a dolphin. Silver, cut-glass- 
ware and china are all marked with the name Montauk, as 
is the linen of every kind. There are capacious lockers 
everywhere for stowage. Electric-bells, communicating with 
the steward's pantry, are in each state-room and saloon-berth. 
There is also an electric.-bell on the quarter-deck. The 
deck-fittings, hatches, coamings and skylights are solid ma- 
hogany, the side-gratings and stanchions, polished brass. 
She carries two boats, the Commodore's four-oared gig, 
twenty-four feet long, and a large cutter. The Montauk was 
launched in May, 1882 ; won the Bennett challenge cup in 
the New York Club regatta the next month, and the prize of 
her class ; and in the following August won the Goelet 
$1,000 prize, over the Newport course, and won it again the 
next 5^ear. She has made the fastest time ever made over 
the New York Yacht Club course. 

We lead a very lazy life aboard the yacht. This is about 
the routine : We turn out (you mustn't say get out of bed at 
sea) about eight o'clock — eight bells ; then go on deck, or 



AT SEA. 89 

rather poke our heads out of the companion-way (the stair- 
case leading to the quarter-deck), and survey the situation, 
having, perhaps, a little chat with the quartermaster at the 
wheel. We are robed tout d'tme temie, and it is pleasant to 
be able to dawdle around so extensively deshabille, without 
being frost-bitten, in the month of March. After lounging a 
while, we eat some fruit, or drink a bottle of Congress-water, 
and munch a crust of bread, with a cup of coffee. Some, 
following the health-giving example of our robust forefathers, 
take an appetizer, but this is optional, though usual. There 
is no compulsion about it, but you must. It is like the com- 
plaint of the British sailor when asked if attendance at prayer 
was compulsory in the navy. "Oh, no," said he, "you 
needn't go ; but if you doesn't, they stops your grog." We 
breakfast at ten, and, if so inclined, take a biscuit and bottle 
of beer, or a glass of wine, at two o'clock. Dinner is served 
at half-past six ; and then on deck for a smoke, remaining 
until we turn in, about eleven, except on moonlight nights, 
when midnight finds us still on deck, reveling in the glories 
of that solemn and tender time. 

Interspersed in this programme are games of dominos and 
backgammon, with some reading, little writing, much sm_ok- 
ing, and unlimited " chaffing," in which Uncle John is fore- 
most, an adept in every pastime, as he is in the useful arts. 
I have been discomfited by him at dominos. But back- 
gammon hath its victories no less renowned than dominos, 
as I have learned in some encounters with the Commodore, 
from which I retired crowned with the laurels of defeat. But 
I have challenged these victors to a game in which I am an 
expert, although I have never played it ; I have loudly asserted 
my superiority, and challenged them to play lawn-tennis 
aboard the yacht. There is where I have them. I even in- 
sinuate that the reason there is no lawn-tennis set in the ship's 



90 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

stores (there is everything else) is that they are afraid to play 
with me, and afford me an opportunity to display my won- 
derful skill. I haven't ventured to set up a similar claim in 
regard to the manly and clerical game of croquet. I feared 
that I might be covered with confusion by the exposure of 
my unfounded pretension to skill in this game likewise. I 
distrusted the inexhaustible resources of the great Domino- 
can. I feared that if I claimed to be able to play the game, 
Uncle John would bring me to grief by finding somewhere in 
his kit a croquet-set. 

A finer sail than our run from Bermuda thus far it would 
be hard to experience. True, we meet some head-winds, 
which compel us to take a circuitous course, thus prolonging 
the voyage, but to-morrow or the next day we shall strike 
the trade-winds, and after that there will be easy sailing to 
St. Kitt's. Then we have no schedule time ; no impatient 
passengers to grumble ; we carry no mails, nor females (old 
joke) to get seasick ; our cargo will not spoil ; we have an 
ample supply of water, and can only get short in case of ac- 
cident preventing us from making a harbor. 

The weather is delightful ; the sun shining brightly, save 
when he passes for a moment behind the numerous detached 
clouds that swarm in fragmentary, fantastic shapes, sailing 
with Proteus in his flittering galiot through realms of ethereal 
space. Reclining, shirt-sleeved, in comfortable extension- 
chairs on the quarter-deck, lulled by the rippling water gurg- 
ling melodiously along the sides, as if responding with cheer- 
ful welcome to the salutation of the entering prow — the 
salt-scented breeze tempering with invigorating infusion the 
sensuous tropical breath that comes from the torrid South, la- 
den with fragrant anticipation of gorgeous flowers and luscious 
fruits — is the perfection of luxurious indolence. Nor does it 
ever become monotonous. One never wearies of lookine; at 



AT SEA. 91 

the waves as they rush swiftly by, irradiating, dancing in 
foamy swirls, or racing up in laughing undulations in our wake 
as if to catch on ; just touching the rudder, and then reced- 
ing playfully, gathering force for another effort to reach the 
deck. This, however, they are unable to seize on, for we 
never ship seas on this craft. Forgive the execrable pun. It 
is not mine. I cannot tell a lie. 'Tis Uncle John's. 

Then there is constant occupation, watching the shifting 
cloud-transformation scenery ; pointing out to each other 
the familiar, fanciful, and weird shapes they assume. There 
are Hamlet's camel, weasel, and whale, of course ; but we see 
many other things "too numerous to mention," like the 
diseases that succumb to James' pills. We see trees, fruits, 
and flowers ; oaks, elms, maples, sunflowers, hollyhocks ; 
haystacks, corn-fields, mowing-machines, pug-dogs, ducks, 
game-cocks, wine-glasses, pulpits, hobby-horses, bonnets, 
bicycles, coffins, spinning-wheels, punch-bowls, lobsters, 
tally-ho coaches, altars, pianos, frying-pans, Brooklyn bridge, 
combs, " the herald Mercury new lighted on a heavsen-kiss- 
ing hill," detergent, hurricanes, lunatic-asylums, walking- 
sticks, cucumbers, cradles, waterfalls, gripsacks, village-carts, 
church-steeples, cranks, black-silk stockings, Irving Cliff, 
Juliet in the moonlight, ballot-boxes, battle-flags, stock-in- 
dicators, pitchforks, hop-poles, alligators, cigars, swords, 
wash-tubs, locomotives, hand-organs, the baby elephant, old 
women sweeping the sky ; and a broad unfolded page of 
heraldic emblazonments — lions, tigers, bears, griffins, castles, 
swords, shields, harps, scallop-shells ; with angelic shapes 
and horrent forms ; fair maidens, dudes, monsters ; con- 
formations graceful and grotesque; " Gorgons and Hydras, 
and chimeras dire." 

Uncle John thought he could trace, in fleecy elusiveness, 
the lineaments of a man who owed him a thousand dollars, 



92 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

but the face was behind a cloud ; v/here it is apt to remain, 
as Uncle John doubts if he will ever see that thousand dollars 
again. 

~ There is other employment of time. Looking at the 
clock in the companion-way ; noting the changes in the 
barometer, whether the glass sets fair, or indicates a coming 
storm ; prognosticating the weather from wind and cloud in- 
dications ; comparing pocket-compasses with the binnacle 
and remarking " how does she head ? " guessing how many 
knots she is making, and viewing the patent-log to decide 
bets on speed ; watching the flying-fish skim along between 
wind and water, and arguing a philological point as to 
whether they should be described as " flocks" or " schools ; " 
wondering how many miniature Crustacea are stow-aways on 
the floating gulf-weed ; observing how the sun sets, whether 
clear, promising fair weather, or, ominously, in a bank of 
clouds, like a deluded depositor ; then going below occasion- 
ally to drill in seamanship, which consists in practicing an 
operatipn that may be performed with a variety of materials 
in different ways. The method is easily acquired by lands- 
men, who have a similar process on shore. At sea it is 
called " splicing the main-brace." It has divers designations 
ashore, regulated by the dialectical usages of the community. 
In the Carlton Island Club, which is a sea-going organization, 
it is called by the saline navigators, in their dry, sententious 
sailor phrase — " hoisting." 

When we feel like taking a watch below, we have other 
sources of amusement. There is reading, for example, with 
a handsome library of well-selected books to choose from — 
which nobody reads. We have no time for such nonsense. 
There are no daily papers delivered aboard ship, and the 
great American people has fallen into the habit of reading 
nothing but newspapers. The reason, no doubt, is that we are 



AT SEA. 93 

devoted seekers after truth, and where can it be found in such 
immaculateness as in the columns of a poHtical newspaper ? 
It is said that truth may be found in the bottom of a well, 
but few journalists take the trouble to get down there. Per- 
haps it is owing to their aversion to water. Still they are 
always talking about getting at the bottom facts. 

We sometimes play cards, euchre being the favorite game ; 
for, strange to say, there are on board four Americans, 
neither of whom plays poker or chews tobacco. Yet they 
are reasonably patriotic, and love their country— when it 
doesn't cost anything. Backgammon — " three hits or a gam- 
mon to see who shall buy the lemonade," i.e., undertake the 
exhausting labor of touching an electric-bell to summon the 
steward — is another favorite ; but the great game, the mag- 
nus opus of Uncle John, is dominos. 

Here he comes to the front as an invincible champion 
who unhorses all opponents. He is a brave man indeed who 
ventures to tackle the great American dominost, with the cer- 
tainty of defeat staring him in the face. My presumption in 
this regard was justly punished by oft-repeated castigations, 
for I am one of those obtuse persons who doesn't always 
know when he is whipped. Among his versatile accomplish- 
ments, there is none in which Uncle John stands so pre-em- 
inent, unconquered and unconquerable, as in his masterful 
handling of the ivories. He has justly earned the title he 
wears with proud satisfaction. Old Double-Six, It is a matter 
of regret to me that Uncle John never encountered the re- 
nowned triumvirate, Barnum, Hinman and McOuade, in the 
days when they ruled Utica with a strong hand, devoting 
patient hours to closing their columns of oblong pieces, de- 
ploying, forming square, and blocking out the doubles. He 
would have found in them foemen worthy of his steel, but 
among their degenerate descendants he encounters but puny 



94 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

and contemptible antagonists. Perhaps if he had met these 
venerable manipulators they might still be living, for to play 
with Uncle John is a new lease of life. No wonder he es- 
tablished the fame of the hand- clasp among the belles of Ber- 
muda. The man who can distinguish the numbers on the 
face of the domino by feeling the ivory back, must be en- 
dowed with a delicacy of touch irresistible in beauty's grasp. 
I don't know how we could get along now without 
" Uncle John," a respectful and affectionate designation 
bestowed on him as a term of endearment, for he is not many 
years the senior of his brother, the Commodore ; but with 
his unvarying good-temper and kindness, this seems to be his 
most fitting appellation — typical of benevolence and thought- 
ful consideration for others. An old yachtsman himself, 
for many years owner of a crack vessel of the New York 
squadron, he is fully informed as to all the requirements of a 
sea voyage and his equipment is complete in every par- 
ticular. From needle and thread, which he handles with the 
dexterity of the Fair Maid of Perth, to the restless hammer, 
which the Gow Chrom himself could not swing more nicely 
vigorous, he seems to encompass everything in his outfit. He 
has clothing adapted to every change of temperature, and in 
the matter of scarfs and neckties, his varied assortment 
would excite the envy of a first-class haberdasher. I came 
out strong myself in the shoe and slipper line, wearing a 
different pair every day for some tfme ; and when the variety 
was exhausted, changed ends and went in for head covering ; 
having a diversified collection, from the various grades of soft 
felt, silk and rubber, embracing in the category a formidable 
sou'wester and a knit nightcap — but the overwhelming and 
dazzling array of neckties in Uncle John's repertoire para- 
lyzed me. I gave it up, acknowledging a dismal failure in 
the clothing trade, and became a bankrupt in style, and can 



AT SEA. 



95 



never take the benefit of any act without the consent of 
Uncle John, my principal creditor. In days gone by, I was 
reputed to be the possessor of some style, but my glory has 
departed. I never fully understood the extent of the 
decadent change that time has wrought until I encountered 
Uncle John. There has been nothing equal to it since that 
mirror of deportment, CJieveiixlier Francois Lippen, ava- 
lanched the colored barber from Syracuse. I must claim 
the credit, however, of having made a good fight, and didn't 
give up until I was attacked in my own specialty. When 
Uncle John paraded a white felt-hat, of ancient vintage, 
mellow-tinted with years, and flavorous of conquest in the 
shadowy past on the fashionable "above Bleecker Street" 
promenades, I knew that further resistance would be in vain, 
and surrendered at discretion. I abjure pretension to dress 
now and forever. Not even the tasteful, artistic, and becom- 
ing habiliments of the ex-mayor, who dug the Mohawk River 
and sets the fashion in dress for modish tailors, will tempt me 
to emulate his example of well-fitting and carefully chosen 
garments ; in which varied fresh hues are blended in charming 
confusion with the subdued tints of time-honored over- 
employment ; and the obsolete pattern jostles with new 
textures of economical ready-made design ! Ah ! if I had 
but one of his unique cravats of the old Hardenbroek No. 2 
epoch ; even a discarded one (no, he never discards them) — 
if I had one of these with which to meet Uncle John, I need 
not now be dragged in ill-clad vanquishment at his sartorial 
chariot wheels. As it is, I renounce style forever. No 
more ! I have taken the pledge. 

With his other meritorious attractions. Uncle John is well 
up in medicine ; and, as we have no surgeon on board, he 
prescribes right and left from his store of remedies, large 
enough for an army hospital. My assumption of the title of 



g6 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

M.D. is rejected; notwithstanding I have been connected 
with quarantine and lunacy, and ought therefore to be well 
up in both sanity and insanity. We have a well-supplied 
medicine-chest belonging to the yacht, but that is of the allo- 
pathic complexion, while Uncle John isahomceopathist. No- 
body knows how to administer the dose prescribed by allo- 
pathy, while Uncle John is as skillful as Hahnemann himself. 
Still we go in for discipline, and if we are to be dosed, insist 
upon the regular ship's medicine-chest, according to the num- 
ber and direction ; so between the rival schools of allopathy 
and homoeopathy we consult neither and take no medicine. 
The result is, we are all well, except Uncle John, who is not 
going to take the trouble of bringing medicine aboard for 
nothing, and affects a slight illness in order to demonstrate 
the efficacy of his own prescriptions. It must be admitted, 
however, that he is not a homoeopathic bigot. He yields to a 
limited extent on the question of pills, and is a great advocate 
of the virtues of those made according to the formula of Dr. 
James, by a prescription which has been handed down among 
the traditions of the Woodmarket. Uncle John always keeps 
them on hand. Through love of my old home, as soon as I 
learned that they were made in Utica, I took some of the pills 
myself, although I needed no medicine at the time. I don't 
know what they are intended for ; I didn't find out. 

The other guest of our princely host is an old friend of 
Uncle John's, now holding a responsible place in the govern- 
ment of New York City. They formerly owned a yacht to- 
gether, and were chums when members of the Volunteer Fire 
Department in its palmy days. Their reminiscences of stir- 
ring incidents, when the old department was in its glory, are 
highly interesting, and serve to while away many an hour be- 
fore we turn in at night. 

It would be hard to find four voyagers who get along bet- 



AT SEA. 97 

ter together than we do. We discuss rehgion and politics 
without rancor, air a great deal of knowledge of law, physic, 
and divinity, and descant learnedly on fashion and the musical 
glasses. What we don't know about seamanship might be 
learned from the cook of an Erie Canal lake-boat, who is a 
seafaring man. There is but one thing to mar in the slightest 
degree our perfect harmony ; but a shadow will intrude even 
in the best-regulated and brightest circles. Notwithstanding 
their intimate friendship for years, there occasionally crops 
out a jealous feeling between Uncle John and the Commis- 
sioner, which is painful to the Commodore and myself. This 
baleful influence is — dominos. 

Uncle John, who is fertile in preparations, has another 
special compound, for which he claims great erasive and puri- 
fying virtues. It is called detergent, and he claims that, if 
given a fair trial, it would clean out the Philadelphia city gov- 
ernment, or make the Utica Gulf (redolent of Governor's veto) 
smell sweet. It is good for almost every purpose except 
eating, and I am not sure that he would not recommend it, 
for depilatory as well as detersive powers, against hairs in 
country-hotel butter. One evening closing in cloudy and 
unpleasant, the Commodore gravely asked Uncle John if he 
wouldn't please bring a pinch of detergent on deck and clean 
up the nasty weather. 
. 7 



CHAPTER VIII. 

BASSE TERRE. 

An Abortive Sunrise — Washing Decks — Sea-ditties — A Shanty Song — 
Sombrero — Saba — The Rock-sail — St. Eustatius — St. Christopher — 
Basse Terre — The Yankee Jack-knife — Hurricanes, Floods, and 
Pestilence — Dulce-domutn. 

St. Christopher (St. Kitt's), March i6, 1884. 

Often, when at sea heretofore, have I promised myself a 
first-class view of sunrise, but something always happened, 
or didn't happen, to prevent this enjoyment. Usually the 
insignificant obstacle was iny failure to get up in time. It is 
not so easy to " rise up William Reilly " on a passenger steam- 
er ; but there is comparatively little difficulty aboard a yacht, 
particularly when one occupies a state-room aft, when all that 
is necessary is to turn out from the bunk into the companion- 
way, and then, in three steps, the deck is reached. Besides, 
the preliminaries of toilet arrangement, putting up the back 
hair and curling the front, are not de rigiieur. There is a 
Spartan simplicity of attire maintained, not customary where 
there are many observers on deck. I had, on rare occasions, 
seen the sunrise on shore — returning from parties, traveling 
by rail, or attending early church service — but a full-dress 
sunrise at sea I had never witnessed, although many oppor- 
tunities had offered during years of travel. So I determined 
to secure a front seat — like a church elder at a " Black Crook " 
performance away from home — and take in an uninterrupted 
view of the gorgeous spectacle. I had been so derelict in 



BASSE TERRE. 99 

attendance at the levees of his solar majesty all my life, that 
I resolved to make reparation by early presence at this late 
day (repenting, like the elect member who goes straight to 
heaven by the eleventh hour, gallows air line) and therefore 
arranged to be called in season. 

Accordingly I was notified one morning by the Commis- 
sioner — whose expansive and handsome presence occupied a 
considerable portion of the quarter-deck, airily arrayed in 
voluminous envelopment a la mode de lit — that the sun was 
about to rise, and would be glad to see me on deck. I 
mounted the companion-way, protruded my ivory bang 
through the opening, and saw, lighting up the eastern sky, a 
faint pink suffusion, the precedent promise of the advent of 
the god of day (which I take it is the correct reportorial 
style, according to the late lamented Micawber). I waited 
patiently for a long time, but no sun appeared. I couldn't 
have displayed more patience had I been like some young 
fellow waiting outside a church-door, while the clergyman 
preached a long-winded evening sermon at his best girl in- 
side. Meantime the moon was yet shining refulgent, high 
above the western horizon ; holding her own with true fem- 
inine pertinacity, bright as if she Avere engaged for just one 
more waltz before retiring. The pink suffusion continued, 
with fluttering suspicion of a crimson flush, like a trace of 
raspberry syrup in a circus lemonade, but still the sun lingered 
below the sea, as if reluctant to appear, blushing at being 
caught with his rays down, in the morning by the bright 
light. I think I waited two decollete hours to see that sun 
rise, and then withdrew. I suppose that, on account of some 
derangement of scenery, the performance for my special ben- 
efit has been postponed until a more favorable occasion. The 
lact is, the faint reflection came an hour or so before the sun 
was ready to turn out, and the Commissioner, whose habits do 



lOO THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

not make him familiar with early morning appearances, being 
unaware of that atmospheric peculiarity, treated me as a 
sluggard and waked me too soon. When the luminary did 
rise, he was smothered behind a pillow of cloud which hid 
him from view until long after breakfast. Perhaps he took 
his own breakfast in bed. But I saw some delicate tints of 
green, saffron, ashes-of-roses, red, yellow and ecru, which 
fully repaid my devotion to his worship, the sun, for they 
gave me glowing ideas for a scarf, before which I purpose to 
make Uncle John pale his ineffectual fires, when I return to 
New York, where silks are cheap. 

The Persians at Ispahan salute the rising sun with flour- 
ish of trumpets. I won't adopt that cult unless it is changed 
to the setting orb, to suit my convenience, Pompey said 
that more worship the rising than the setting sun, but he had 
in view the distribution of offices. I'll stay with the minor- 
ity ; I feel more at home. I haven't essayed the sunrise act 
since this failure, and, as it is doubtful if I make another ef- 
fort, you may imagine, if you please, all kinds of eloquent 
and felicitous descriptions and credit them to me. One can 
always describe better without seeing. Then the imagina- 
tion is not clogged by the trammels of accuracy, as are the 
utterances of agitators, reformers, editors, revivalists, auc- 
tioneers, and members of Congress. I think I should recog- 
nize the face of the morning sun if I should happen to see 
him, though when we met 'twas in a cloud. However, if I 
am behind in attendance at the lever dit soleil, I make it up 
by being punctual at the cotichce. While I may not see him 
rise, I am always on hand at sunset. 

Speaking of rising, I had the best of the sailors that 
morning. They didn't have the opportunity to waken me, 
as is their spiteful usage. It is their barbarous custom to 
stamp around overhead, disturbing my innocent slumbers, 



BASSE TERRE. lOI 

dashing water over the deck, scraping, scrubbing, sanding, 
and cavorting in various cleansing eccentricities, greatly to 
the detriment of that beauty-sleep, which I have been prac- 
ticing assiduously since boyhood, without noticing any ap- 
preciable improvement in my personal appearance. If in- 
dustrious and prolonged beauty-sleep in the morning could 
make one handsome, I would be a Mohawk Valley Antinous. 

It is strange how evil habits become confirmed by indul- 
gence. Scarcely has daybreak, with ill-timed officiousness, 
intruded on peaceful slumbers, when the sailor seizes bucket 
and broom, and attacks the deck with the ferocity of a tidy 
housewife in cleaning season. Happily that comes but twice 
a year, while here it is an every-day vicious habit. If it 
should rain all night, up comes Jack in the morning, sloshing 
around with the impartiality of an undiscriminating shillalah 
at Donnybrook Fair. I asked the mate one morning, when 
they were scrubbing the deck after hours of flooding rain, 
why they were engaged in such an obvious work of super- 
erogation — employment severely discountenanced in the 
Thirty Nine Articles, He said it was to wash off the fresh 
water. The sailor has no respect for fresh water — except in 
grog. I don't see why they can't scrub the deck at night. 
Then my sleep wouldn't be broken quite so much. 

Since the general employment of steam in navigation, the 
habits of sailors have naturally changed so as to conform, in 
some degree at least, to the existing condition of sea service. 
The old Jack tar, with his natty blue jacket, immaculate 
white trousers, flowing neckerchief, and jaunty tarpaulin hat, 
is being merged in the greasy stoker. The dust, smoke, 
cinders and soot of the steamship make sad havoc with the 
purity of white duck ; the stiff tarpaulin has no place in the 
sweltering confines of the boiler-room and coal-bunker ; 
everything is done by machinery ; the anchor is hoisted by 



I02 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

steam, the sails set by steam, and even the vessel steered by 
steam. William and Black-eyed Susan belong to the stage, 
and the oil-stained sailor of to-day is but a grimy representa- 
tive of the airy and romantic jolly tar, who danced the 
sailor's hornpipe, wielded a heavy cutlass as if it were a 
toothpick, and blasted his eyes, and shivered his timbers, 
and avasted, and ahoyed, in days of yore. As steam has so 
largely superseded manual labor, the sea-songs with which 
sailors used to keep time Avhen pulling and hauling in com- 
bined and simultaneous effort, are dying away in faint echoes, 
and soon they will only mingle with the discredited strains 
of the nearly forgotten mermaid. True there are navies to 
keep up the old standard, and sailing vessels and yachts to 
maintain the recollection and traditions of the blue jackets, 
but they are fast being smothered by steam. Occasionally 
we hear some of the familiar chants, but "Ranzo," " Haul 
Away, Joe," and " Knock-a-man-down," rarely animate the 
sailor in this period of maritime degeneracy. Of course sea- 
men have to be educated in their vocation, but the sailor has 
become something like the mechanic. Large manufactories 
and mills, with complex labor-saving apparatus, have done 
away measurably with the journeym_an who served his time 
as an apprentice to an experienced master. Machinery not 
only works, but thinks, and the machine-feeder takes the 
place of the skilled mechanic. 

The sea-songs of Dibdin and others were really made for 
landsmen, and are different from the sailors' chants proper, 
which were of other material ; like their working toggery, 
expressive and matter-of-fact. Prosody received but scant 
consideration, but the rhymes were a sort of rugged doggerel, 
with a refrain strongly accentuated, which served as a signal 
for all to pull away together. They were called Shanty 
songs, from the French word chanter, to sing, and many of 



1 



BASSE TERRE. IO3 

them are familiar, having been incorporated in magazine 
articles and published in books. One of the sailors aboard 
the Montauk, who has been in the West Indies, furnishes the 
following example of a Shanty song, which is evidently the 
composition of some one possessed of a better ear for rhythm 
than the ordinary cJianteur, as the measure is reasonably ac- 
curate. The refrains, Largy Kargy and Weeny Kreeny, are 
evidently corruptions of Spanish words, probably intended 
for Largo Cargo and B2iena Carina — big cargo, and good 
httle girl : 

We're bound for the West Ingies straight, 

Largy — Kargy, Haul away O — h. 
Come lively, boys, or we'll be late, 

Weeny — Kreeny, Haul away O — h. 

We'll have rum and baccy plenty, 

Largy — etc., 
Cocos, yams, and argy-denty,' 

Weeny — etc. 

No more horse "^ and dandy funky,^ 
But St. Kitten's roasted monkey. 

We'll go fiddle with black Peter, 
Dance all night with Wannereeter.* 

At Kooreso ^ we'll get frisky, 
Throwing dice with Dutch Francisky. 

When we've found the pirate's money, 
We'll live on shore eating honey. 

Wear big boots of allygator. 
Taking Nance to the thayayter. 

We'll bunk no more with cockroaches, 

Largy — Kargy — Haul away O — h, 
But ride all day in soft coaches, 

Weeny — Kreeny, Haul away O — h. 

^ Aguardiente. ^ Salt horse, i.e., corned beef. 

^ Dandy funk, a cheap mess of old biscuit and molasses. 
^ Jtianita. ^ Curacoa. 



104 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

The delicious moonlight nights made our run from Ber- 
muda to St. Kitt's a voyage of pleasant remembrance, afford- 
ing a delightful contrast to the first week out of New York. 
We were on one tack (that is without shifting sails) for sixty 
hours ; an unusual length of time, which prompted the Com- 
missioner to remark that Uncle John must have been using 
above, the tack-hammer which he swings with such muscular 
dexterity below. We sat on deck until after midnight, offer- 
ing incense of fragrant cigars to the serene moon, and pity- 
ing the poor fellows on shore, who were probably shuddering 
in bleak March winds, their nostrils filled with the whirling 
pulverizations of dirty New York streets, or suffering from 
the catarrh-charged slush of aqueous Utica. 

Thursday morning, March 13th, we sighted the first land 
after leaving Bermuda, the Sombrero lighthouse, on a phos- 
phatic island, which at once suggested to Uncle John the 
efficacy of James' pills, while the Commissioner thought that 
the Company working the fertilizer might find a valuable 
agent in detergent. Next we neared Saba, a mountainous 
island, on which we could discern no habitations, as we 
passed to the windward, and the only village is on the lee- 
ward side ; a little nest hollowed out of the mountain's breast 
by some volcanic convulsion ; a thousand feet above the sea, 
reached by flights of steps. The inhabitants, who are all 
sailors, build boats on the wooded declivities and slide them 
down to the beach. These Dutch islanders are simple, fru- 
gal, and industrious, hold no ward caucuses, have no relig- 
ious revivals, attend no reform meetings, and are quite happy 
and contented. As we approached, we saw, in the distant 
sea beyond, a sail which we supposed was making for the 
island. Glasses were brought to bear on the object, and 
various conjectures were offered as to the character and 
course of the vessel ; one declaring that she was a fore-and- 



BASSE TERRE. 105 

after, another that she was square-rigged ; one that her course 
was to the southward, another that she was bound north. 
Two other sails were afterward discovered, closer to land, 
which also secured a share of curious attention. We won- 
dered that the first sail made so little progress, if moving 
in the same direction with us, or receded so slowly, if sailing 
on a contrary course ; until after a time the sharp eye of the 
sailing master (who had himself been deceived at first) solved 
the mystery. He discovered that what we mistook for sails 
were rocks, the first one far remote from the shore. Here 
was an opportunity for the Commissioner to indulge in phil- 
osophic reflections, such as every little incident out of the 
usual course causes him to frame ; drawing morals for our 
edification. " How aptly," said he, " does that rock illus- 
trate the fallacy of human theories, and the vanity of enthu- 
siastic hopes and aspirations, particularly in the fresh exu- 
berance of youth ! How we look with hopeful eyes upon the 
vessels of imagination which we launch on the sea of life, 
freighted with joyous anticipation, expecting them to return 
argosies, laden with riches, or, with swelling sails, gliding 
proudly into the harbor of Fame. What cargoes of love, 
what stores of friendship, are carried by prosperous gales in 
these aerial ships of the mind ! How often do we make bril- 
liant promise of what we Avill do when our ship comes in ; 
but alas ! the ship conies not, and the golden prow and silken 
sails, when we near them, turn out to be but barren rocks of 
disappointment ! " Whereupon the fanciful Commissioner, 
with the tristful visage of a bull broker in a bear market, 
went below and spliced a melancholy main-brace. Then 
Uncle John queried if that rock-sail didn't belong on a stone- 
boat. 

But at this rate we shall never reach St. Kitt's, which has 
been gradually looming up with beckoning invitation for 



I06 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

hours. Evidently it is as hard for you to get to the West 
Indies in my letters, as it was to get away from Bermuda — 
an unconscionably long and tedious epistolary excursion, I 
admit. Let us sail on, then, by St. Eustatius, hke Saba, a 
Dutch island, with a frowning fortress and a governor. The 
fortress is an excuse for a governor, and what would a gov- 
ernor be without a fortress. It is different in New York. 
There the governor is strongly entrenched in the hearts of a 
grateful and admiring people. No cards ! There is but one 
small town on St. Eustatius — Orangetown — named probably 
after the Prince of Oranges. We could hear no dreadful 
note of preparation for the approaching anniversary of Ire- 
land's patron saint, and could see no stove-pipe hats acquir- 
ing festal polish for the occasion. They must be all Orange- 
men there. 

We reached St. Kitt's, despite the philosophic head- 
winds of the Commissioner. I observe that, as Voltaire 
said, " Providence always favors the heaviest battalions,'.' so 
the winds and waves have a philosophy of their own, and pay 
no attention to the profound vaticinations of a New York 
politician. After sailing along the shore for a long time, ap- 
parently near and yet afar, we at length made the red light 
of St. Kitt's, described in the books as visible fifteen miles, 
but which we ascertained, when daylight came, was merely a 
red lantern, hung out of the second story of the Custom- 
house, not much more brilliant than the light borne by the 
leader of his gang in an election procession. Feeling our 
way, cautiously as a chap behind the garden wall who knew 
that the old man was on the lookout for him with a blunder- 
buss loaded with rock-salt, we were enabled to cast anchor 
in the roadstead, at ten o'clock at night. The optical effect 
as we sailed by the mountainous shore was remarkable. The 
dark, beetling masses, streaked with white where sugar-cane 



BASSE TERRE. lO/ 

fields belt the mountain-side, seemed as if they were but a 
stone's throw distant, and yet they were four or five miles 
away. Sometimes the hills looked as if they were coming 
down to meet us, and we felt as if we could almost step 
ashore, I don't know how to account for this. It is some 
atmospheric condition, but I am not well enough versed in 
physics to have sufficient knowledge of these phenomena to 
explain them. Uncle John tried to account for the purity of 
the air by a surmise that the monkeys habitually used James' 
pills, but I couldn't understand how they procured them. 
Felix Hornung has no trade here. Otherwise I might have 
acquiesced, for I stand by home production on all occasions. 
We had alternate bright skies, with the moon shining mildly, 
and sudden showers of rain, which came unannounced, and 
burst in on us like fellows who invite themselves to luncheon. 
Sometimes the fleeting showers hardly showed the cloud from 
which they dripped, and the celerity with which they came 
and went could only be excelled by the alacrity of an office- 
seeking patriot, adapting himself to the fluctuating principles 
of a successful party. 

But we were in the West Indies at last, and we turned in, 
all to dream of the vernal freshness that would adorn our own 
fair land when we came sailing back again ; and my com- 
panions, of the fond welcome that awaited them when they 
returned to their loved ones at home. 

The scene which met our eyes as we came on deck this 
morning was pecuHarly grateful, succeeding a week at sea, 
with its unrelieved glare of waters, not a sail appearing to 
vary the monotony of view. It is remarkable that during 
all our voyage from New York we have seen but one sail by 
daylight, although several were reported passing at night. 
But they may have been spectral shapes of ships, foundered 
at sea and never heard from, still haunting the wave in 



I08 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

ghostly anxiety to send messages to expectant homes. Per- 
haps the Flying Dutchman is cruising in endless expiation 
hereabouts, but we are not fated to meet the blasphemous 
Vanderdecken. As the gifted John Boyle O'Reilly says in 
his poem : 

" They'll never reach their destined port, they'll see their homes no 
more : 
They who see the Flying Dutchman never, never reach the shore." 

The Montauk was launched under an auspicious star, and 
christened by a hand that could not fail to bring the good- 
fortune which has already made her a proverbially lucky 
boat. 

The town of Basse Terre, the principal settlement of St. 
Kitt's, is situated on the sea-shore, from which rise, at a short 
distance, high mountains, in verdure clad ; the encircling 
fields of sugar-cane looking like bands of pale green velvet 
swathing the swelling sides ; while the lofty peak is enveloped 
by a translucent vail of filmy vapor, gracefully undulating in 
the fresh morning breeze, which fans into coolness the sun- 
shiny air. The red roofs of low houses, standing out in the 
village against a background of green fields, has a most 
picturesque effect (it is always grateful to see " the green 
above the red ") ; while the groups of negroes, in variegated 
dress, gathered, in observant, chattering conclave, along the 
wharf, give animation to the picture. On a promontory, 
commanding the anchorage ground (there is no harbor, but 
a roadstead, partially land-locked) is the site of a battery, 
once a formidable menace to the incoming mariner, now 
abandoned, and, like an old veteran who has been used and 
set aside, of no consequence ; a mere signal-station to guide, 
in peaceful routes, the trading merchantman, enriched by the 
profits of past wars. Brimstone Hill, fifteen miles distant, on 



BASSE TERRE. IO9 

the Caribbean side, is another point formerly fortified. It is 
now dismantled, and, being remote from the settlement, is 
garrisoned by hordes of monkeys, who swarm in the surround- 
ing forests. What a commentary on the mutability of affairs ! 
This erstwhile frowning fortress, bristling with destructive 
armament, defended by impregnable works, so strong as to 
cause it to be named " The Gibraltar of the West Indies," is 
now abandoned to capering monkeys, who gibber in its para- 
lytic bomb-proofs, and swing prehensile, in mocking gambols, 
through its toothless casements. In our own country the 
knavish ape sometimes invades the War Department, and 
" plays such fantastic tricks before high Heaven as make the 
angels weep," even while the land is yet perilous in the grap- 
ple of internecine conflict. 

We were rowed ashore in the gig of the Commodore, and 
called first at the Custom-house (simply a matter of courtesy, 
for a special permit from the Secretary of the Treasury makes 
this a United States vessel, exempt from entry and clear- 
ance), and then at the office of the American Consul, Mr. 
De Lile, whom we found to be a pleasant gentleman, a native 
of the island, of French descent. He has succeeded his late 
father as Consul, and is thus a diplomat by inheritance. In 
his ofiice we saw a familiar object which betrayed the Amer- 
ican presence, and showed the freedom of mutilation enjoyed 
under the starry banner of our own country. It was a desk, 
carved in the well-known style that gave evidence that the 
Yankee jack-knife had been there. The desk was a reminder 
of home ; it was like the ranz-des-vacJies of the Swiss, or the 
Irish shamrock. We at once felt at home Jn the Consul's 
office ; the flag of the free floated over our heads, and we sat 
at the friendly, whittled board of our native land. 

Mr. De Lile accompanied us to the telegraph office, where 
we sent a cipher message to New York. Including address 



no THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

and signature, it contained four words, and cost $9.60. I 
fancy that the march of cheap telegraphy is not in this direc- 
tion, and that there is not much business done at that office. 
One day's busy work would absorb the yearly revenues of 
St. Kitt's. 

Passing through the public square, we saw the Berkeley 
fountain, a handsome and useful memorial to a former Presi- 
dent of the island. The President, it may be stated, derives 
his title from presiding over the Council, clothed with certain 
executive functions. He is appointed by the Crown. So is 
the Council. It is a mere shadow of representative govern- 
ment. We called upon the acting President, Mr. Eldridge, 
who gave us much valuable information regarding St. Kitt's, 
and the neighboring islands of Nevis and Antigua, at the 
latter of which is stationed the Governor who controls the 
three colonies confederated under one administration. Mr. 
Eldridge showed us at the Government House a piece of board 
which demonstrated the tremendous force of a hurricane. 
It had been torn off the Catholic church, during the tornado 
of 1 87 1, carried a long distance, and driven through four 
thicknesses of heavy plank, intruding about two feet within 
the building wall. It had been left there as a curiosity. 
This showed the power of a Church Board — in a hurricane. 

St. Kitt's has enjoyed its share of afflictions. In 1880, a 
sudden night flood from the mountains — a cloud-burst, prob- 
ably — swept away a portion of the town, and drowned two 
hundred and forty persons. Judge Semper told us of a 
young man, occupying a fine house in the devastated district, 
who Avas awakened in the night by a friend of his, captain of 
a vessel lying at anchor, who insisted upon his accompany- 
ing him aboard, to take a glass of grog in the cool moon- 
light. The gentleman was loath to go, and it was only on 
the captain declaring that he would beat the door in if he 



BASSE TERRE. Ill 

refused, that he at length reluctantly consented, leaving his 
servant in the house. When he returned in the mornine, 
not a vestige of the edifice was to be seen on its foundation ; 
but some distance off he recognized the iron gate of his 
fence, the only article recovered. His servant was never 
heard of again. Those who believe in special providences 
might find in this incident a moral of some kind. Perhaps 
an occult influence (I fancy it was rum) compelled the cap- 
tain to persist in his importunity, after his friend had mani- 
fested a strong disinclination to accompany him, and thus 
saved a life by his pertinacity. Here is an anecdote to off- 
set the Sunday-school story of the bad little boy drowned 
while fishing on the American Sabbath. I hope, however, 
that drummers for new books, and insurance brokers, will 
not take advantage of this recital and use it against me pro- 
fessionally hereafter, insisting upon my taking something for 
luck. 

A few years ago the island suffered a loss of about five 
thousand from cholera. The bodies of the victims were buried 
in great trenches near the sea-shore, and the action of the 
waves is gradually uncovering the remains, skulls and bones 
being washed out occasionally by the encroaching waters. 
There is no assortment of plagues, hurricanes, or floods on 
hand at present, but there is a large supply of measles, epi- 
demic, but not particularly virulent. Antigua presents su- 
perior claims to distinction, having some two thousand five 
hundred cases in stock. St. Kitt's, too, is behind in the mat- 
ter of earthquakes. Its efforts in this line have been weakly 
unsuccessful. 

Of the twenty-eight thousand inhabitants, about two thou- 
sand are white, and if it should enter the heads of the blacks 
to get up a strike some time, they could make it unpleasant 
for the poor white trash. I rise to remark that this is not in- 



112 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

tended for a hint to meddling agitators to come down to this 
island and kick up a row in the interest of reform. There 
are no regular troops here, and but one company of volun- 
teer cavalry ; consisting of a few men, too widely scattered 
to be available in an emergency. The police force is all 
black, and the men are clean and well dressed, civil and in- 
telligent enough. They receive $12 a month pay. Taking 
into consideration its many attractions, St. Kitt's is beyond 
question a most delightful place to live away from. 



CHAPTER IX. 

ST. KITT'S. 

Iced-water — Teeth — Tonsorial — Sharks — Roses — Pelicans — A Drive — 
Religions — St. Patrick's Day — Wonderful Adventures with 
Monkeys. 

Basse Terre, St. Kitt's., March i8, 1884. 
There is a small park in the upper part of the town, con- 
taining handsome palm-trees, flowering white-cedars, and 
tropical plants. A cactus tree, twenty-five feet high, is curi- 
ous, but not so much so as a banyan, which already over- 
shadows a large space, and is gradually spreading its roots so 
as to interfere with the fountain in the middle of the park. 
.It has but one trunk, however, as the pendents, which reach 
down from the limbs and take root, becoming trunks in turn, 
and putting forth fresh offshoots, are cut off as they appear. 
Otherwise the tree would in time engross the whole park — a 
sort of mother-in-law, bringing in other members of the family. 
The trunk would be invaluable during the fashionable season 
at Saratoga. 

Basse Terre is copiously supplied with water from the 
mountain springs ; with a superabundance at times, as before 
stated. It is carried through pipes with hydrant attachments, 
and there are sewers, which we saw them flushing as we 
passed through Cayon Street. The fire department is a sim- 
ple organization. The hose carriages are men's shoulders, 
the reels of hose being borne on the head. I have known 



114 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

firemen to carry reels inside their heads, but this is an outside 
conveyance — a water carriage. The other kind of reel was 
not. No ice is used here. It doesn't grow, and the demand 
will not warrant importation. Water for drinking purposes 
is kept in porous earthen vessels, like the old Spanish jars — 
or Egyptian, for that matter — and is cool enough. Drinking 
iced- water profusely is a vicious American habit. It impairs 
digestion and injures the teeth. Hence we have worse stom- 
achs and teeth than any other people. A Bermudian gentle- 
man, speaking of this dental inferiority, said that he attri- 
buted it to iced-water and confectionery. He told how he 
was in New York, a few years ago, during the cold winter 
when the East River was frozen over, and persons crossed on 
the ice to Brooklyn. The morning after his arrival, he was 
shivering in bed and rang the bell. A servant answered out- 
side his chamber-door, and he heard the tinkle of ice. Open- 
ing the door, a pitcher of iced-water was thrust at him. 
" What the deuce do I want of this ? " said he, " I'm nearly 
frozen already. Bring me some hot water for shaving." The 
idea of iced-water when the thermometer ranged in the vi- 
cinity of zero was to him ludicrous. He was compelled to 
bribe the hall-boys not to bring it to him when he rang the 
bell. We use too much ice. We ice everything, freeze vege- 
tables, and destroy the delicate perfume of fruit by over-icing. 
The hod carrier drinks iced-water as he mounts the ladder ; 
and some stupid persons, who regard every novelty as a re- 
form, conceived the idea of distributing it in pails to the poor 
of New York, to keep them from squandering their money 
on champagne /r«///. 

The teeth of the negroes are good, here as everywhere. 
I jocosely offered a young dusky, with a magnificent set of 
teeth, a thousand pounds for them. He declined, saying that 
the money would be no good to him without his teeth. Thus 



ST. KITT'S, 115 

do the improvident negroes reject the golden opportunities 
within their reach of becoming miUionaires. 

A httle barber's shop, at which the Commodore (who is 
justly vain of his personal appearance) stopped to have his 
hair cut, was the most diminutive tonsorial emporium and 
sanctum of the artist in capillarity I have ever seen. It held 
but two persons besides the impresario perriLcchiere. It was 
such a shop as one sees in Pompeii. I wasn't permitted to 
enter, because — as the Commodore bald out at me when he 
assumed the sacrificial chair of denudation — there was too 
little hair in the small room already. The barber gave him a 
careful cut, parting the herbage in a thin line behind, which, 
expanding near the crown into a spherical baldness, looked 
like a palm-tree — a slender trunk and spreading upper devel- 
opment. Uncle John styled it the tropical palm-tree cut. 
It will soon become familiar to the Fifth Avenue Sunday 
promenade, where it will surely achieve great social conquests. 
During the August cruise of the New York Yacht Club it 
will be irresistible. 

The negro women seem to greatly outnumber the men. 
We saw no white women in the streets, but plenty of black, 
who are coarse, repulsive creatures. They speak English in 
a sort of gibberish, difficult to be understood by those un- 
familiar with the patois. The Basse Terre dialect is a sort of 
Basseterred English. As we walked along amid the multi- 
tude of fruit hucksters, we were addressed as " werry purty 
genlemen," whereupon it was observed that the portly Com- 
missioner carried his head a trifle higher, with the conscious- 
ness that striking manly beauty was not unappreciated by the 
fair sex of Basse Terre. 

We had provided an extensive supply of elaborate fishing 
tackle, intending to capture quantities of the speckled beau- 
ties (I believe that is the usual description offish — dried cod 



Il6 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

and such — in the newspapers), to eke out the provision of 
salted fish in our sliip's stores, but thus far had been unable to 
lure any of the inhabitants of the briny deep (another favorite 
rural-journalistic expression). The wary dolphin shunned 
our seductive squid, trawling astern, and the flying-fish only 
came aboard when he blundered in his flight, like a bank 
president ignorant of extradition treaties with foreign lands. 
But we were rewarded at last for our piscatorial investment. 
We caught a big fish — a shark. He was an ugly-looking fel- 
low, about six feet long, and, when hauled on deck, seized a 
belaying-pin thrust in his jaws, with the muscular action of a 
Frankfort Hill charcoal-man munching peanuts at a circus. 
The sailors put a slip-noose around his tail and hoisted him 
to the boat-davits, where the Commodore administered a 
dose of pellets from his revolver which soon settled the 
shark's hash, and made him matter for a negro chowder. 
The negroes eat stewed shark, but roasted monkey is their 
great delicacy. Uncle John claimed that the pistol was 
loaded with Cockle's pills, which are sure death. There is a 
strong rivalry between them and James' pills among us, both 
medicines having determined advocates. 

Sharks are numerous hereabouts. They are as thick as 
shyster lawyers around a Police Court. A few weeks ago, a 
dead mule was towed out for bait, and a shark eighteen feet 
long captured. If this success attended an ordinary St. Kitt's 
animal, what would have been the result if one of our re- 
nowned pos^-de/hwi army mules had been employed ? With 
some braying examples of this kind for bait, a shark a hun- 
dred feet long at least ought to be taken. Yet I suppose it 
ought to be a dead bait — the army mule is, for that matter. 

Sunday morning, mellow sounds of the church-going bell 
came out over the water, waving invitation, before we had 
breakfasted. We let them wave. M. DeLile sent aboard a 



ST. KITT'S. 117 

great basket of roses, among them some fine specimens of 
tlie Mare'cJial Niel. They were large and fragrant, but 
seemed to lack the dewy freshness of our exquisite flowers at 
home. Abraham Brooks, gardener in charge of the public 
park, also sent us some choice products of floriculture. 
Brooks does not sneer at the gardener's "claims of long de- 
scent." Although a black man, he is a lineal descendant of 
" the gardener Adam and his wife," and a blood relation of 
Baron Tennyson D'Eyncourt. With these flowers, we re- 
placed the lilies that had adorned the saloon, our Lily Bower, 
from Bermuda. We were loath to part with these souvenirs, 
but they had withered. Though the tangible flower may 
wither, the lily emblem will never fade from memor}^ 

Skimming over the roadstead surface, glistering in silvery 
flashes under the sunbeams, were numerous pelicans, diving 
beneath the waves as some unwary fish approached the sur- 
face, and arresting the malefactor for violating the Sunday 
law. The pelicans are strong-winged, aquatic birds, with 
bills as long as those of attorneys in a contested will case, and 
they were evidently foraging for their breakfast. I suppose, 
as this is a sabbatical region, the pelicans do no cooking on 
Sunday, but eat cold victuals. 'Tis the early bird that catches 
the worm, and, as these prowlers were up betimes, it is prob- 
able that they had already caught the too previous worm, 
and were using it for fish bait. A cormorant receiver couldn't 
gobble a wrecked corporation with greater ease, by allow- 
ance of the Court, than these sea-hawks swallowed the fish 
whole. They must be favored with powerful digestive or- 
gans, unimpaired by the habitual use of Cockle's pills, the 
gourmand's after-dinner persuader. 

In the afternoon, we drove out among the mountains, 
passing several extensive sugar estates. The principal ex- 
port of St, Kitt's is sugar, though there is considerable pro- 



Il8 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

duction, and some consumption, of shocking bad rum. The 
roads are excellent, but the scenery not particularly interest- 
ing. The drive along the crest, overlooking the sea-coast to 
windward, affords a view of the ocean, spread out as far as 
the eye can reach — and farther — but we have become familiar 
with that appearance, and it is no novelty. Fruit trees are 
plenty. At one place, out in a settlement among the moun- 
tains, near the Moravian church, from the steeple of which a 
flag was flying, we saw cocoa-palm, orange, lime, mango, 
and bread-fruit trees growing side by side. We met a few 
whites, in carriages, and a great many negro pedestrians on 
the road. The negroes appeared to be clean, generally well 
dressed — white being the favorite color — and they were cheer- 
ful and polite, invariably touching their hats when we met. 
There was an assortment of head-coverings, as varied as lay- 
ers of boarding-house butter. We encountered but one reg- 
ulation black silk hat, a venerable tile, about contempora- 
neous with the style of the ex-mayor's funeral hat — vintage 
of 1804, The younger children were clad in garments too 
abbreviated for adaptation to the latitude of Paris Hill in 
December ; but all wore a holiday look, and some nothing 
else. Many were, no doubt, going to, or returning from 
church. 

The population of St. Kitt's is Protestant, the whites (ex- 
cept a few Catholics, of French and Portuguese blood) attend- 
ing the Church of England, while the blacks are Wesleyans 
and Moravians, There are not a hundred Catholic negroes 
on the island. The growth of Peter's pence here must be 
stunted and unproductive, and the drippings of the sanctuary 
flaccid. Much religious enthusiasm prevails among the ne- 
groes, and to this is due the prevalence of the Methodistical 
form of worship. Talking back is permitted in the Episcopal 
Church, it is true, but the response is limited by irksome re- 



ST. KITT'S. 119 

straints ; while in the Wesleyan, it is a sort of free fight with 
the devil, and every one has a right to pitch in. There is no 
doubt but that this facihty of demonstration is conducive to 
religious enthusiasm. The Methodist is very much in earn- 
est. A washerwoman (who informed us, as a matter of per- 
sonal interest to Uncle John, in whom she discovered a pious 
affinity, that " de countenans was de index ob de mind ") 
edified us greatly by her glib elucidations of the true Chris- 
tian doctrine. She, too, had suffered for conscience sake. 
For some time a resident of St. Thomas (the Danish island), 
where her worldly affairs were more prosperous than at St. 
Kitt's, her sensitive feelings were so shocked by the band 
playing in the Square Sunday afternoons that her soul be- 
came black with horror. She shook the dust of profane St. 
Thomas from her voluminous feet, and returned to her native 
isle, where the odor of sanctity permeates the Sabbath day 
with pungent African redolence. 

St. Kitt's is famous for monkeys. " Don't you want to 
buy a monkey ? " is a favorite inquiry of the truant boy. 
We saw none during our drive. We went along roads where 
they sometimes appear, but they were probably attending 
afternoon service, or remained within doors, and, if they saw 
us, were shocked at the profanation of the day, driving out 
for recreation. The monkey is doubtless a highly religious 
personage, who wouldn't endanger his salvation by shuffling 
dominos Sunday, or playing waltzes on the piano to pro- 
voke divine wrath. 

Yesterday being St. Patrick's Day, the Commodore or- 
dered the yacht to be decorated with flags (called " dressing 
ship"), in honor of the anniversary. The significance of the 
holiday apparel was well understood ashore. Mr. Eldridge 
noticed it when he paid us a visit, and seemed to regard it 
as nothing unusual ; although I thought it a handsome thing 



120 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

in the Commodore (who, unfortunately, has no Irish blood 
in his veins, and doesn't belong to the Land League) to think 
of paying this tribute to the memory of Ireland's patron saint, 
who, it may be stated in passing, was a cousin of my ancestors. 
Judge Semper, puisne Judge of St. Kitt's, whom we had met 
the day before, sent us a bountiful supply of fresh fruits and 
vegetables, which were quite toothsome, particularly the 
Brussels sprouts, tender as a boarding-school miss. At din- 
ner, while the first regular toast — " The Day We Celebrate" 
■ — was being drunk, the ever-ready Commodore was inspired 
to dash off the following epigram : 

The Judge has sent aboard some fruit 

And garden-sauce to thrate us, 
Our motto and the day they suit, 

You find them Semper praties. 

I wondered whether the Rose, Shamrock and Thistle 
Society of Utica was sitting down to supper, after the good 
old fashion, or whether the second-growth Hibernian Vice- 
President would be too lazy to order the representative of 
bonnie Scotia to " flee awa" and make preparations for the 
feast. We did the best we could. We remembered friends 
at home in our potations, wet the shamrock, and sang the 
"Wearing of the Green." I had a green flag waving over 
my state-room door all day ; and at night I dreamt of Kil- 
larney, and rode through the Gap of Dunloe on a hard-trot- 
ting pony. 

I had intended not to mention that two toasts were offered 
and responded to at dinner. Uncle John insisted upon hav- 
ing one of them proposed, so that he could compare his mag- 
nificent effort at the Washington's Birthday dinner with 
whatever I might say, inadequately, on the same topic, I 
think he is a little vain of his success, and wanted an oppor- 



ST. KITT'S. 121 

tunity to compare notes to my disparagement. I wouldn't 
consent, however, unless he agreed to speak to the toast of 
the day, which he did, and two speeches were made instead 
of one. He said we wanted no more any way, as the Com- 
modore and Commissioner couldn't speak well enough for 
St. Patrick, although they might do for George Washington. 
I fancy that Uncle John was a little foxy in the matter, and 
not only wanted to put me down, comparatively speaking, 
but desired also to show us that he could be facetious if he 
pleased, though he was greatly in earnest in his last effort. 
He made a good oration, and I told a couple of stories in 
illustration of what he said in his other speech about heroism, 
which required no aid of words, for the incidents themselves 
were interesting without rhetorical adornment. Uncle John 
has promised to write out his remarks for me, and if he does, 
I will send them in one of these letters with my own. I do 
not wish to deprive him of the full benefit of the glory he has 
earned by making a better speech than I can. 

A British mail steamer arrived in port to-day from South- 
ampton, having touched at St. Thomas. It brought one 
letter for us, forwarded from that point to the Commissioner, 
containing news from home. It was a protest on a promis- 
sory note endorsed for a friend. This steamer goes as far as 
Trinidad. The line receives a subsidy of ^95,000 per annum. 
It was originally ^200,000 sterling. Government subsidies 
are unpopular with us, but — as crapulous Hirondelle re- 
marked, touching the propriety of using the abbreviation D. 
D. against his name on the police record — a great deal may 
be said on both sides, if you have money to hire a good 
lawyer. 

This Island, like all the West India group, is of volcanic 
origin, and extinct craters are to be seen in several places. 
The highest is Mount Misery, 4,300 feet above the sea, the 



122 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

peak of which is generally hid in clouds. We couldn't see 
it ; but the Commodore remarked that it wasn't worth while ; 
we saw misery enough in New York without coming to the 
West Indies to find it. 

Our sailing-master was- anxious to see monkeys in their 
homes, and trudged off, guided by some boys, in search of 
the animals ; for whom sailors evince a strange partiality. 
Upon his return, he reported that the exploration had been 
in vain ; he saw plenty of wild goats, but no monkeys, though 
he heard them chattering in the woods. The Commissioner, 
however, who had gone ashore unaccompanied, claimed that 
he had been more successful. 

" Monkeys ! " said he, " why, I saw droves of them up 
Monkey Mountain, where I drove with my French friend, 
Mr. Menteur. Wending our way along the road, we made 
a sharp turn, and came suddenly upon a group, which seemed 
to be awaiting us. The leader, a venerable old monkey, with 
a white moustache, and black dress-coat, advanced, and, tak- 
ing off his hat — " "Come now," interrupted Uncle John, 
"what are you giving us? That's too strong altogether; 
monkeys don't wear hats." "Fact, I assure you, gentle- 
men," replied the Commissioner, in his suave, Board-of-Ap- 
pointment-monthly-meeting manner, " it was a stove-pipe 
hat of Geninuine make. The wearer was probably a visitor 
from Montserrat, where the native black population speaks 
Irish, and he probably borrowed it from somebody who had 
been in the procession to-day. As I don't speak English 
when traveling abroad, where nobody ever takes me for an 
American, I said nothing, but simply acknowledged the salute 
by touching my hat, after the manner of Paddy Burns at the 
Patriarchs' Ball. The patriarchal monkey held out a paper, 
which I took, and found to be a petition for the passage of a 
prohibitory liquor law, for the reason that there was too much 



ST. KITT'S. 123 

of ' the crater ' in St. Kitt's. A younger member of the 
tribe, with a short black pipe in his mouth, pushed the old 
fellow aside, rather angrily, and handed me a card, on which 
was written, in the ancient Celtic character, ' better lava 
crater alone.' Evidently there was a difference of opinion 
among them ; and yet the monkeys ought to have been 
unanimous for prohibition, for a drunken monkey always 
makes an ass of himself. 

" I was soon surrounded by a concourse of the tribe of 
Cebidae, who thrust into my hand papers of different shapes 
and sizes, and of varied complexion ; some fresh as the blush- 
ing debutante at her coming-out party, others frayed, tattered, 
and soiled as the reputation of an Ohio politician. I didn't 
retain these papers, but I remember the contents of some of 
them. 

" There was a petition for the appointment of Jocko, 
Chairman First Ward Committee, as Inspector in the Custom 
House ; prospectus of a Company to work the Baby Mine, 
capital stock ten millions of pounds sterling, to be perma- 
nently invested and retired as a sinking fund ; tickets tor the 
raffle of a butter-dish at a church fair ; votes for a pair of 
worked slippers, to be presented to the most popular clergy- 
man at Christmas ; portrait of Pyke, candidate for President 
of Monos Mountain ; card of Adolphe Singe, Perrnqnier 
Frangais, shave five cents, with a glass of lager and a cigar 
thrown in ; copy of the Illustrated News, containing photo- 
graphic view of an earthquake, taken while the earth was 
trembling, by our own artist, sent out expressly for the occa- 
sion, at great expense ; subscription paper for foreign mis- 
sions to convert the Roman Catholics of Martinique to Chris- 
tianity ; check on the Canal Bank at Albany ; ivory ball, 
marked 16, looked like the pocket edition used at the Schuyt 
Forler Club ; circular of Francis Murphy, temperance lee- 



124 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

turer and brother in Christ — terms moderate ; subscription 
for Parnell Fund. 

" Then there was a lot of handbills and placards, which had 
evidently been torn from rocks and trees : Use Gorman's Co- 
coaine ; Try Nurbett's Sapolio ; Setting Moon Stove-polish ; 
Scorner's Safe Cure for Sunburn — go out when it rains ; Seal 
of North Carolina in red wax ; Pogers & Reet, embroidered 
Snow-shoes ; Bargains in Dry Goods, at Bowen McNamee & 
Co.'s; A.T.Stewart, Laces and Embroideries, Broadway, 
west side, above Chambers St. ; Use Detergent — removes 
mountains ; Try James' Pills — cures hams ; Meeting of Mozart 
Hall Committee, season of moonshine ; Florida Water — good 
for corns ; Pond's Extract — for drawing teeth ; Trask pam- 
phlet against use of tobacco ; Smith's Toy Pistols — warranted 
sure ; Smoke the Five-cent Symplocarpits ; Torrents of Aperi- 
ent, and many others. 

" I saw one debilitated old monkey riding a donkey, on 
which there was a pannier, with a sack slung across. One 
side seemed to be bulging out with a load, while the other 
was collapsed and wrinkled, apparently empty, and yet they 
balanced, as if equally heavy at both ends. Upon examina- 
tion, I found that one end of the bag held twenty cocoanuts, 
while the other contained a scrap of paper with a paragraph 
from a Governor's message. 

"The venerable leader, first taking a white necktie from 
his pocket, which he put around his neck, pointed to what 
seemed to be a large house in a field near the roadside, and 
beckoned me to follow him. I did so, and, much to my sur- 
prise, found that the imposing structure was a pile of books 
— the Revised New Testament, with leaves uncut. 

" Now, gentlemen, I see by your looks that you don't be- 
lieve me. I anticipated as much from your own constitu- 
tional infidelity, which makes you doubters. But here is the 



ST, KITT'S. 125 

evidence. I bought some of the raffle-tickets and brought 
them with me, feehng certain that you would question my 
word. Look at them ! Ecce t abides fortunes ! I produce 
the corpus delecti in court, and anybody that wants to may 
commence a prosecution for violation of the law against 

gambling." 

Here the Commissioner plunged his massive hand into a 
capacious pocket, and produced some bits of figured cards, 
which he handed to the Superior of the Order of Domino- 
cans. "Ha! ha! "shouted Uncle John, looking at them, 
" Ha ! ha ! I have you now. These are some of Simpson's 
pawn tickets, dated February, 1884. They represent that 
old oroide watch and plated chain you raised money on to 
defray your expenses on this cruise." 

The Commissioner shrank abashed. He was detected. He 
had put his hand in the wrong pocket. 



CHAPTER X. 

AMONG THE ISLANDS. 

Lunacy — The Old Fire-Laddie — St. Patrick's Day Orations : Ireland : 
A Brave Girl : Michael Ouigley : A Heroic Woman — Montserrat — ■ 
Ethiopian Celts — Guadaloupe — The Caribs — Wind-Rainbow — Do- 
minica — St. Pierre — A Great Loss. 

St. Pierre, Martinique, March 21, 1884. 

As I was going to St. Kitt's, 

I met a man who'd lost his wits. 

" Where are my wits ? " he asked of me. 

" Perhaps you'll find them in the sea." 

As I was coming from St. Kitt's, 
I met the man who'd lost his wits. 
" Pve found my wits," he said to me, 
" Beneath the moonshine in the sea." 

These are nursery rhymes by Uncle John. Apparently 
they have no meaning, and are, therefore, the genuine article. 
I fancy, however, that they are intended as sarcasm, and that 
I am the object, for the Boanerges of dominos remarked 
that any one who could write such nonsense as my scribblings 
must have lost his wits. His suppositive comment impHed 
that I had become moon-struck, in midnight meditations on 
deck, during these glorious nights of the past week. He was 
good enough to make a partial retraction afterward, knowing 
that I took his remark to heart, for I had a guilty conscious- 
ness that he was not far astray in his estimate of my mental 
condition. There is such a thing as acquiring lunacy by ab- 



AMONG THE ISLANDS. 12/ 

sorption. I have been associated with Managers of an Insane 
Asylum, and dementia may be predicated of a willingness to 
serve in that office. He took advantage, however, of the 
opportunity afforded by my expressing a favorable opinion 
of the homoeopathic system of medicine, to say patronisingly 
that I had recovered my mind. I suppose it was on the 
principle of similia, similibus curantur — there is so much 
moonshine in medicine. For that matter, there is a large 
admixture in ah the connate learned mystifications v/hich rule 
the world : law, physic, and divinity. 

The French Consul, Monsieur Derivin, came aboard 
while we lay at Basse Terre. Although he speaks English 
fluently, he afforded the Commodore an opportunity to con- 
verse in French, which the gallant flag-officer utters with 
intense activity and profound accentuation at appropriate 
festive occasions. 

St. Kitt's was originally a French island, but it has been in 
English possession over two hundred years. It is now- 
French only in territorial nomenclature. All the streets and 
places, as well as the sugar estates, have French names, but 
are not in French possession. The estates have retained the 
designations given them by owners expelled generations ago, 
and succeeded by those of another race, speaking a different 
tongue. Had an American Common Council been in con- 
trol, the names would have been changed many times ere 
this. 

Water of superior quality was furnished at a reasonable 
rate: about three-fourths of a cent a gallon, including the 
cost of delivery aboard. I testify to its superiority, not from 
personal knowledge, but from information and belief. It was 
brought alongside in a hghter, and pumped from casks 
through the yacht's hose. The operation was superintended 
by the Commissioner and Uncle John, whose experience as 



128' THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

fire laddies (I ' believe that's the newspaper designation : it's 
either laddies or ladders) came in, to play away No. 41 ! They 
were like old war-horses at the sound of the bugle-call. The 
gurgle of the water, flowing through coupled lengths of hose, 
aroused the slumbering ardor of the disbanded volunteer ; 
and to see Uncle John stamping around the deck, recalled the 
glorious period of his flame-subduing victories, when, as 
Foreman of Engine 28, his resonant trumpet was the fiery 
Excalibar of the Department. 

In my last letter I promised to send you the responses to 
the two toasts offered at dinner on St. Patrick's Day, if Uncle 
John would write his out ; and he has just brought the notes 
to me in an unintelligible shape. They are scrawled on the 
backs of discharged envelopes, washing-lists, and tailors' 
bills, in such confusion that I can scarcely decipher them. 
But I will do the best I can. Here is the speech : 

" Mr. Chairman : I doubt my ability to do justice to this 
subject. The English have been trying to conquer Ireland 
for several hundred years, and I could hardly be expected to 
get away with her in one night. I might if I were in Con- 
gress, and could put the Green Isle in an appropriation-bill. 
I have great regard for Ireland, and for Irishmen, particularly 
if they are women. I regard the Irish as the handsomest 
race in the world, and it always makes me angry to see the 
caricatures in the illustrated newspapers which are so grossly 
unjust to a people that, for physical strength, endurance, 
comeliness, and quick, native wit, is not equaled by any, un- 
less it be the American, and that is a mixed race, largely 
Celtic in composition. The denizen of the rural districts, 
who has never traveled, and who forms his idea of the 
Irishman from the caricature, and not from personal obser- 
vation, will not agree with me, but my assertion is true never- 
theless. 



AMONG THE ISLANDS. 1 29 

*' I will not speak of the ancient glories of Ireland during 
her golden age, when the arts and sciences flourished ; when 
there was an advanced state of civilization, as can be seen by 
the picturesque ruins, showing the highest order of architec- 
ture, which abound on the island. The origin of her peculiar 
round-towers is unknown, the hordes that overran the island 
having, not only partially obliterated the marks of culture and 
refinement, but totally destroyed the records, so that her early 
history is lost, and only comes down to us in fragmentary 
tradition. But though the remote past is shrouded in ob- 
livion, there are modern examples of greatness, springing up 
under repressive persecution, that show what Ireland would 
be were she an independent nation, * great, glorious, and free, 
first flower of the earth, first gem of the sea.' 

" With all the disadvantages under which she has labored, 
she has produced some of the most eminent men in our day. 
The greatest English-speaking orators were Burke, Sheridan, 
and O'Connell. There were others who, while they do not 
rank with these incomparable masters of language, hold a 
distinguished place as rhetoricians. Before the legislative 
union with England, the Irish Bar was unrivaled in its display 
of brilliant forensic eloquence. Who can peruse the works 
of the genial essayists, Goldsmith and Steele, the pungent 
satires of Swift and Sterne, the poetry of Moore, the novels 
of Lever, Grifiin, Banim, Lover, Miss Edgeworth, and Carle- 
ton, without being impressed with the genius that sur- 
mounted all the obstacles interposed to intellectual develop- 
ment. As for soldiers, the Irishman is naturally a fighter. 
The only man that ever lived able to cope with Napoleon Avas 
an Irishman. It is unnecessary to particularize the Irishmen 
who fought for America, for wherever there is fighting going 
on in any part of the world, in the armies of France, 
Spain, Austria, or any of the great military powers, there 



I30 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

you will find Irishmen. They supply the Stage with a large 
proportion of its best actors ; they excel in all the ornamental 
arts. 

" The Irish are expansive travelers. You find them in 
every land mentioned in history, ancient or modern, sacred 
or profane. They gave their names to countries whither they 
emigrated ; history and geography combine to perpetuate the 
record. Some of the Books of the Old Testament are named 
after an ancient Irish family, the Maccabees. Judas McCabe 
was a valiant warrior in his time ; so was Alexander of Mac- 
Edonia (probably the name was McDonagh, spelt improp- 
erly). Then there was the famous O'Dyssey, written by an 
Irish schoolmaster, H. O'Mer, member of an elder branch 
of the Greek family. Among the early colonists from Erin 
were the MacRobii, who settled in Ethiopia. They got into 
a little quarrel with the aboriginals, which is kept up by their 
descendants, for the Hibernian and the Ethiopian are yet to 
be found arrayed on different sides politically. They were in 
Asia as well, the MacCrones being a powerful sept. The 
MacCrones were no doubt a branch of the Cronins of Slieve- 
namish, who adopted the aristocratic Mac, when they emi- 
grated and settled among those who didn't know whether 
they were entitled to it or not. It is popularly supposed that 
the macaroni of the Italians takes its name from them, but it 
is an error. That delicious food was invented by an Irish 
baker from Nockamavaddy, named Michael Rooney (Mickey 
Rooney for short), who accompanied Pope Adrian to Rome 
and conferred this inestimatable boon on Italy. But the 
Italians never would give the Irish any credit. They inter- 
fere with them whenever they get a chance. The McCanns 
of Tartary (improperly spelt Khan) have alwa^^s cut a« fine 
figure, with an immense following. The invincible chieftain 
Mark O'Mahony, made a raid into Germany and subjugated 



AMONG THE ISLANDS. 131 

a warlike tribe, compelling the vanquished to adopt his name 
and call themselves Marcomanni. 

" The most magnificent queen the world ever saw, barrino- 
Sheba, who had some relations with King Sol O' Mon ; or 
Semiramis (I acknowledge that she wasn't Irish) was the 
Egyptian Clelia, familiarly known as Cle. O'Patra. Shake- 
speare wrote a play about her and Tony, a Roman lover. 
Some persons ' don't believe that Shakespeare writ that 
play,' but they are cranky theorists, afflicted with Bacon- 
mania, a sort of mental trichinosis. 

" The Irish have spread all over the world, except Boston, 
where few of them are to be found. They reached the ut- 
termost limit of the Western Hemisphere. Terra del Fuego 
was discovered by an Irish giant, Pat. O'Gania, and his pos- 
terity are known as Patagonians ; only they don't know how 
to spell their own names, but transpose the o and the a. They 
live on the Straits of McGellan. The Micmacs are in Canada. 
The Irish family of O'Regon went early to the western coast, 
and named a river which flows into the Pacific Ocean. Then 
there are the MacKinaws in the interior west (a corruption of 
the McNalls) ; and in New York State we have the tribe of 
O'Neidas. 

" Among the renowned physicians of antiquity was Mac- 
Haon, son of Esculapius, who must have married an Irish 
wife ; and the child took his mother's name as preferable 
to the plebeian cognomen. Mac probably used his father's 
as a prcenomen, and had his business cards, printed by a 
type-writer: Esculapius McHaon, M.D. Office hours op- 
tional. 

" As statesmen, the Irish stand pre-eminent. It is well 
understood that the Democratic and Republican organizations 
of New York and Brooklyn are controlled, respectively, by 
John Kelly, John J. O'Brien, and Hugh McLaughlin, aided 



132 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

by the tremendous voting power of the Mac-Hines. This 
political influence is felt as far off as Japan, where the rank of 
the despotic ruler is designated by an Irish name. It was 
originally O'Macquade, but the Japanese shifted the prefix 
to a suffix ; and properly, too, for the genealogical O', mean- 
ing grandson, naturally follows Mac, which means son, and a 
grandson is not apt to be born before his father. So, instead 
of the former Omaquade, the Emperor is known as the Mi- 
quado of Japan. The Irish rule everywhere except in their 
own country. 

" I could go on at great length to demonstrate the all- 
engrossing expansion of the Irish in the direction of offices, 
but I dislike to occupy the time of this distinguished convo- 
cation. I will conclude by offering a sentiment, which needs 
no words of adulation, ' The Irish Woman ; ' and call upon 
my friend, the honorable representative from Ireland, who 
wasn't born in his native land, to respond." 

I said (with an imported Killarney blush, mantling to the 
crown of my brow, like the morning sun rosily suffusing the 
Matterhorn) : " Mr. Chairman : After the brilliant philological, 
geographical, historical, and archeological essay of my learned, 
flowery, and gallant friend, the flame-subduing Archivist, I 
have some hesitation in speaking, for I know that comparison 
with his splendid achievement would redound greatly to my 
oratorical disadvantage. I doubt my ability to do justice to 
this subject. This is a chronic disability with the after-dinner 
speaker, as you have learned by its modest repetitive asser- 
tion. I suspect Uncle John has a selfish motive underlying 
his call upon me, but I will utilize it, notwithstanding his dis- 
ingenuousness. ' We can often put questionable appliances 
to good use. The bronze door that once swung in a sensual 
heathen temple now adorns a portal in the central shrine of 
pure Christianity. I distrust the sardonic smile that faintly 



AMONG THE ISLANDS. I33 

touches Uncle John's mocking lip, but I will employ his 
ironical invitation to say something responsive, in the same 
vein of thought which marked his treatment of the topic at 
our last feast. I will give other illustrations of the just truth- 
fulness of his felicitous tribute to the heroism of woman. I 
not only agree with him that in moral courage she is vastly 
superior to man, but I believe that in physical bravery she is 
not inferior. We often read in the newspapers of the deter- 
mination displayed by women in facing burglars, but the ex- 
amples of men's daring are not so abundant. I am sure that 
the becoming timidity of bearing in woman proceeds more 
from instinctive delicacy, sensitive refinement, and regard for 
the proper conventionalities of society, than from any lack of 
intrepidity. 

" An incident came within my knowledge, a short time 
since, which carries out this view, and although a rare occur- 
rence, because of the exceptional attendant circumstances, it 
will serve to typify the stoutness of heart that may lie within 
a fragile form. 

" Out in the northern wilds of the Adirondacks, remote 
from a settlement, is a mountain retreat, occupied as a summer 
home by a gentleman and his granddaughter, and frequented 
by hunters, and those seeking the health that a balmy atmos- 
phere, spiced with gum-distilling trees, bears on healing 
wings. Two visitors had been out hunting, far from this re- 
treat, in a dense forest, containing but an imperfect and 
indefinite trail. They became separated, and as night ap- 
proached, the younger, appreciating the necessity for keep- 
ing the faint trail in view while daylight lasted, hastened his 
return, supposing that his companion would take the same 
course. He reached the retreat about nightfall, but the elder 
sportsman, less vigorous, unable to bear up under fatigue, 
lagged behind, and had not arrived when the occupants of 



134 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

the house retired. But one did not retire ; a young girl who 
had spent months exploring the wilderness and knew how dif- 
ficult it would be for a person unfamiliar with its recesses to 
follow the feeble trail. 

"At a late hour, she called up her colored maid to accom- 
pany her, and donning a huntress dress, sallied forth, rifle in 
hand, into the darkness. She took the precaution to send a 
stable-boy with a boat up the adjacent lake, to be used in 
case an accident had happened which would render its em- 
ployment necessary. No one in the house knew of her inten- 
tion ; no one else had the thoughtfulness to entertain it, nor 
the courage to put it in execution. 

" Attended by her maid, then, she plunged fearlessly into 
the gloomy forest, fording streams, clambering over rocks, 
and forcing a way through thick undergrowth, on her merci- 
ful mission. After a long search, a faint response came to 
the hailing-call she kept up, and her view-halloo was feebly 
echoed from a clump of bushes ; where she found the object 
of her search, exhausted, dazed, unable to move without 
assistance. The boat was called and soon arrived at a con- 
venient vicinity, and after the application of restoratives, the 
sufferer was placed in it and carried to the retreat, arriving 
about daybreak. 

" Night in the wilderness is a shivering time at best. Gaunt 
trees outstretch uncanny limbs in shadeful dejection ; rebel- 
lious twigs, forced aside in finding a path, strike back in the 
face with startling sting ; the air is filled with frightful vague- 
ness, more oppressive because the shadowy influence takes no 
definite form. There are but few who are not cowards in the 

dark : 

" ' Like one that on a lonesome road 
Doth walk in fear and dread, 
And, having once turned round, walks on 
And turns no more his head.' 



AMONG THE ISLANDS. 1 35 

" We may reason, but fear is deaf to reason. How 
many are there who would like to spend the night in a church- 
yard, and yet it is a holy place where evil spirits may not 
come. Not the dangers that are palpable, but the unknown 
and unseen are the most trying to the nerves. There are 
shudderous terrors of ambiguity. 

" I regard that night-journey in the primeval forest, by a 
delicate, tenderly-nurtured young lady, as an admirable ex- 
hibition of the intrepid resolution that makes heroines, and I 
put it on record as an example of woman's bravery. 

" But the toast is to the Irish woman, and my heroine is 
a slender young American girl, with a healthy mind in a 
healthy body, invigorated by exercise in the open air and the 
innocent freedom of the salubrious forest. 

"The Irish woman is brave, honest, unselfish, and self- 
sacrificing. The attributes which commanded the respect of 
successive invaders of Ireland formulated the saying, Hibeniis 
ipsis Hiberniores, for it was the commanding influence of 
Irish women that made the settlers of various nationality 
' more Irish than the Irish themselves.' One of the super- 
stitions of the ancient Irish was that a child's disposition 
would be influenced by the first object on which its hand was 
placed, and it was the custom of the brave mothers of that 
heroic race to cause a sword to be placed in the hand of the 
new-born male child, so that valor should be the prevailing 
characteristic in life. 

" The episode I am about to present is such a striking in- 
stance of fortitude that I am sure I shall be indulged in occu- 
pying some little time in its relation. 

*' During the Rebellion of 1798, a secret insurrectionary 
organization, having for its object disenthrallment from Eng- 
lish rule, existed throughout Ireland. In the town of Kil- 
kenny, there lived a well-to-do woolen-draper named Michael 



136 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

Quigley, a reputable business-man, living with his family, a 
wife and three children, in apartments over his shop, in the 
main street, directly opposite the Court House, where a per- 
manent court-martial was in session to try, with drum-head 
haste, those accused of complicity in the rebellion. Quigley 
was Secretary of the Section of United Irishmen having their 
headquarters at Kilkenny. Through the instrumentality of 
spies and informers employed by the Government, his official 
connection with the revolutionists was discovered, and, one 
day, while at his counter, he was arrested and hurried to the 
Court House for trial ; having barely time, as he passed out 
of his home, to whisper to his wife, ' May God be with you 
always ! ' He was tried within an hour, found guilty, sen- 
tenced to be executed the next morning, and committed to 
prison. 

" It was customary to carry ouf these sentences on the 
spot — there was short shrift for the insurgents — but an ex- 
ception was made in the case of Quigley, in order to give him 
time to consider a proposition made to pardon him if he 
would reveal the names of the confederated conspirators. 
This temptation he spurned indignantly all through the night. 
He could not be induced to save his own life by the betrayal 
of his trust and the imperilment of others. Early in the 
morning, he managed to convey to his wife a communication, 
written on his shirt-collar. It was this laconic message : 
* I will die ; I will not be a traitor.' 

" The bereaved wife received the message, cowering be- 
side a desolate hearth-stone, surrounded by her weeping, 
terror-stricken children. She was a poor weak woman. She 
thought of the horrible fate awaiting her husband, to be hung 
within sight of his own door. She felt the impending shadow 
of the ghastly gallows, falling, a dread shape, athwart her 
threshold, smothering her heart beneath a frightful pall. She 



AMONG THE ISLANDS. 1 37 

thought of her children about to be thrust forth on the cold 
charity of the world, perhaps to die of want by the wayside, 
for confiscation of all goods and chattels was one of the pen- 
alties of treason to the English Government, The natural 
promptings of nature would be to say to her husband, ' Save 
yourself ! save us ! save your wife and children from despair ; 
what is all the world to us without you ! ' 

" But what was her answer, conveyed to Quigley by the 
same favoring hand that brought his implied interrogation ? 
To the noble declaration of the husband, ' I will die ; I will 
not be a traitor,' she made this sublime response : 'Better 
make ojte widow than one hundred.' 

" An incident was connected with the execution of Michael 
Quigley which is interesting to those of his faith, who under- 
stand the importance attached to the administration of the 
rites of the Church in extremity. He had asked for the visi- 
tation of a priest, but this request was curtly denied. * Death 
without benefit of clergy,' was the savage punishment for his 
offense. He was not bereft of this consolation, however; 
Directly opposite the jail-door, before which the gallows 
stood, was an arch containing a small room, in which was a 
window. By a circuitous route, a priest and two pious men 
entered this room unperceived, and remained concealed there, 
to act upon a preconcerted signal. As Michael Quigley was 
led forth to execution, he bent his head and repeated the 
prescribed words of the act of contrition. Then he lifted 
his eyes to the window in the archway, and as he did 
so, the curtain was slightly raised ; he bent his head again, 
and at that moment the concealed priest administered the 
form of absolution of the Church ; which fell on the heart 
of Michael Quigley like the dew from Heaven, reviving, 
strengthening, full of ineffable consolation. And, fortified 
with this benediction, the hero mounted the scaffold and 



138 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

met a patriot's death with the undaunted firmness of a mar- 
tyr. 

" As Michael J. Barry wrote : 

" But whether on the scaffold high 
Or in the battle's van, 
The fittest place where man can die 
Is where he dies for man ! 

"Should Ireland ever achieve her independence, and be 
peopled by free men and free women, there should be erected 
in the town of Kilkenny, a noble monument, lifting its head 
to the skies, proud of this inscription, ' I will die ; I will not 
be a traitor : ' and beneath it, in letters of gold, gleaming 
lustrously for all time in ' the light of Freedom's day,' this 
other legend, to commemorate woman's heroism, ' Better 
make one widow than one hundred.' " 

We sailed from St. Kitt's the morning of the i8th, with a 
clear sky and fair wind ; passing Nevis, which has nothing of 
interest to recommend it except good mutton. But we didn't 
come abroad for chops and saddles. We can get them at 
Washington Market ; and I know the Alsatian would furnish 
quite as good mutton ; though perhaps not so sheep. (No 
charge !) If we should return this way, we may visit the 
island to test this reputed excellence — revenons a nos moiit07is, 
as it were. 

I had a great desire to visit the island of Montserrat, and 
regretted that the two weeks' detention from fogs and head- 
winds at New York forced us to give the go-by to points 
where our arrival was awaited, no doubt, with breathless 
anxiety. Montserrat has an especial claim to consideration ; 
I had a consanguineous yearning to press its volcanic soil. 
The steward informed me that a large contingent of the ne- 
groes on the island speak the Irish language ; adhering to it 



AMONG THE ISLANDS. 1 39 

with stubborn pertinacity, stoutly resisting English lingual 
invasion. The story told is that, many years ago, a slave 
ship was captured by a British cruiser, and the slaves landed 
on the island, in charge of a master-at-arms who chanced to 
be an Irishman. He taught them his native tongue, which 
they have scrupulously retained to this day ; affording an ex- 
ample of patriotic constancy that puts to shame the Fifth 
Ward of Utica, where Gaelic has tamely yielded to Saxon 
aggression, until it is now rarely heard, save on election day, 
when John O'Davy's mellow brogue incites his compatriots 
to vote the Republican ticket, early and often. If we could 
get up an emigration from Montserrat to St. Lawrence 
County, the political complexion of that Cimmerian precinct 
might be changed. It always has been intensely black, but 
an infusion of Montserrat would enlighten it some. This 
would offset the colonization of Indiana from Kentucky. 
Here is a point for the consideration of the infrequent Demo- 
crat of the St. Lawrence. 

My good old father, of happy memory, who regarded 
every man as a brother, no matter what his color or creed, 
had a quaint way of addressing his colored brethren as 
" smoked Irishmen." It was regarded as a bit of facetious- 
ness on his part, but I find now that the appellation was to 
some extent literally correct. This island is peopled with 
smoked Irishmen. The heart of the Honorable Dennis Burns, 
of Sligo — whilom adept legislator, now learned philomath, 
engaged in encouraging the revival of Gaelic among the 
Knickerbockers of New York — would swell with pride could 
he but wander amid these forest-clad declivities, and hear the 
soft Corkagian Doric floating, in affinitive modulation, through 
the green groves of Montserrat. Savotirneen deelisJi. CitsJila 
machree. Fion Slan. Nabocklish ! 

Guadaloupe is a large French island, which has a town of 



I40 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

considerable importance, Point a Pitre, with a good harbor; 
which we decided not to enter, as Martinique is the most 
noted island under French government, and we could there 
get a better idea of the manners and customs of Western 
France. There is a famous volcanic mountain here, with a 
crater-peak five thousand feet high, called the Souffriere. 
The summit is rarely seen, being almost constantly enveloped 
in clouds. 

Guadaloupe was discovered by Columbus, at the same time 
with Dominica, and was named after Our Lady of Guadaloupe, 
in accordance with a vow made to some monks of Estrama- 
dura. It was here that the Spaniards found vestiges of can- 
nibalistic habits, and concluded that the inhabitants were the 
fierce Caribs who devastated the islands of their gentler and 
more peaceful neighbors. The name cannibal came from 
here. These warlike Caribs made predatory excursions in 
their big canoes for hundreds of miles. Their weapons were 
bows, and arrows of shell poisoned with the juice of a certain 
herb. It was their habit to make descents on the islands, 
carry off the handsomest and youngest of the women, whom 
they kept as servants, and capture the men, to be killed and 
eaten at leisure. Commenting upon this gentle peculiarity of 
the noble savage, Uncle John said that eating the men showed 
a perverted taste, when the women would be more tender and 
succulent. He accounted for it by surmising that the Caribs 
must have lived at cheap boarding-houses and acquired a 
fondness for bull-beef. While passing Guadaloupe, we wit- 
nessed a magnificent sight ; an immense rainbow, gorgeous 
in vivid prismatic hues, majestic in arching encompassment ; 
its base resting apparently at the foot of a towering moun- 
tain, while the span extended far over the peak until lost in 
the sea beyond. It covered with iridescent glory the rugged 
mountain side, dimly visible through a diaphanous robe, 



AMONG THE ISLANDS. 141 

which smoothed the ungainly angles into graceful lines, beau- 
tifying with tinted embelUshment the unsightly irregularis 

ties. 

'• Ah ! " said the Commissioner (crossing his hands behind 
his back after the manner of Napoleon at St. Helena), " how 
that rainbow, enchanting to view, but delusive and evanes- 
cent, typifies the vanity of human pursuits ! We gaze upon 
the radiant mists with pleasure, but they are ephemeral like 
all the blandishments of life. What are pleasures but rain- 
bows ? They disappear with indulgence, and leave nothing 
behind, save, perhaps, vain regrets." 

"Excuse me. Commissioner," I interrupted, " there I 
think you are wrong. Some joys that we've tasted leave 
unfading rainbows in the heart." 

"True," rephed the reviser of assessed real estate valua- 
tions, " but we are material beings, after all, and cannot live 
on fancy. The rainbow gazers are visionary, unpractical and 
unsuccessful. Vapor, howsoever, resplendent, is not to be 
compared to roast beef in a nutritious point of view. It is 
decidedly comfortable to draw a check (that will be honored) 

for the butcher's bill." 

"There spoke the practical, common sense utilitarian," 
said I; " it resolves itself into bank stock, bonds and mort- 
gages, houses and lands. As for railroad stocks, many of 
them are of rainbow composition, and nothing more. Yet 
the man of imagination has certain pleasures denied to him 
who is completely engrossed in the sordid accumulation of 
pelf. The only advantage possessed by the money-grasper 
is his pachydermatous insensibility, his obtuseness and crass 
ignorance, which protect him from the pains that men of finer 
and more sensitive organization may feel." 

" A tough hide is a useful thing in the rough-and-tumble 
fights of the world," remarked the Commissioner. 



142 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

" Still," said I, " the rainbow is, as you say, a fit emblem 
of disappointment. It affords, too, an illustration of the un- 
reliability of appearances and the proneness to error in esti- 
mates of our neighbor. How often does the rainbow throw 
a deceptive glamour ! We look at a man just as we view that 
liill-side. In the softening, roseate tinge, it appears bright 
and smiling, while were we able to see it through the reveal- 
ing medium of reality, we might discern some gloomy cave, 
in which black care sits like a ravening wolf laired in its secret 
heart. It is hard to know what is in another's breast. A 
man may be brave, self-reliant, carrying his own burden, in 
reticent strength, without seeking a friendly resting-place to 
lean upon for compassionate relief, yet inwardly grief-stricken 
and despondent. The lip may laugh jocund glees without, 
while sorrow vibrates voiceless dirges in sunless recesses 
Avithin. Bright flowers float on the surface of the tarn 
which holds bitter waters brooding in darkling depths be- 
low." 

" These be goot worts, as doughty Sir Hugh Evans says," 
interposed Uncle John, somewhat impatiently; "but what 
kind of toffy are you spreading ? " 

I took no notice of the ungracious interruption, but con- 
tinued, in my own simple, unpretentious, monosyllabic lan- 
guage. 

"You are right, though. Commissioner. We ought to 
be practical and common sense. Away with romance ! A 
bus le Trouvere ! Vive /' Avare ! Vogue la gaVere ! Let us 
turn the honest penny ! A penny saved is a penny earned ! 
A penny a day is £\. lOs. ^d. a year. Early to bed, early to 
rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise. Hurrah for B. 
Franklin ! Don't let us waste time in enjoyment ! Let us be 
economists ! Of what use flowers, lights, and incense in re- 
ligious observance ? We can pray without them. Why have 



AMONG THE ISLANDS. I43 

balls, parties, and festivals ? Waste of time and money. 
What is the use of music ? There is no sound so sweet as 
the clink of gold. Why inhale the perfume of joyous life ? 
Sell the ointment and give to the poor ; but give nothing un- 
less from the proceeds of somebody else's ointment. Don't 
let us look up at the luminous rainbow in the sky ; cast our 
eyes down, and we may find a farthing rolling in the muddy 
gutter ! " 

" Yes," said the Commissioner, " and if you were hungry 
you would be glad to pick it up. You might starve looking 
at rainbows." 

" It is an old superstition," I added, "that whoever traces 
the rainbow to its foundation finds a crock of gold. I fear 
that is where my treasure lies. I have been looking for it 
many a day beneath visionary arcs, which receded as I ap- 
proached, and vanished entirely before I could stake out the 
foundation-place of my fortune. Yet the time spent in fol- 
lowing these enchantments is not lost. One still has the 
rainbow memories. ' 'Tis better to have loved and lost than 
never to have loved at all.' " 

"That's all very fine," growled the Commissioner, " but it 
won't pay the rent." 

" And," added Uncle John, " talk's cheap, but it takes 
money to buy ice-cream for your girl." 

This was the argicmentum ad horn. It brought the matter 
home with telling force. I capitulated, remarking, " Right 
you are, brethren ! But I won't give up my rainbow never- 
theless. Perhaps my fortune is before me now — in Guada- 
loupe. But it's just my luck ; we're not going to land there. 
However, I'll coin a couplet for you. Commissioner, which 
you may give to the New York Sim. The editor is a scholar, 
and won't attribute it to some statesman who palms off quo- 
tations as originalities ; which he can do with impunity, as 



144 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

the American public rarely reads books. This is yours, and 
you may take a patent on it : 

" Who would his fortune surely make, 
Must quickly rainbow views forsake." 

" I don't know how it is with the rest of you," remarked 
the Commodore, " but my throat is a little dry through the 
ears. We have been grumbling about not having enough of 
wind, but it seems to be blowing a tongue-gale on this quar- 
ter-deck." D esc en da ut us . 

For many days past, we have been looking for the oft-be- 
praised, benignant trade-winds, which are said to blow with 
unvarying steadiness from one quarter in these latitudes. We 
had formed of them an idea of the rainbow stripe, but experi- 
ence has pricked the prismatic bubble. They were reported 
as gentle gales, which filled the sails with constant breeze to 
glide o'er seas, uninterrupted by vexing storms, entirely ex- 
empt from loitering calms. Yesterday this budding anticipa- 
tion of halcyon wavelets was nipped. It was a series of 
alternate calms, when the yacht hung motionless "as a 
painted ship upon a painted ocean," and sudden bursts of 
wind which set us tossing and plunging like the Sunday 
buggy over a Hoboken pavement. We could hardly remain 
in our berths during the night, and when the wind lulled in 
the morning there was a sullen calm, succeeded by another 
outburst, that kicked up as much disturbance as a handsome 
clergyman of affectionate habits in a well-regulated sewing- 
society. We had all this disagreeable variety while passing 
Dominica (a British island, interesting from its boiling lake, 
and scenery of unsurpassed grandeur), but at length, after 
weary bufifetings, we dropped anchor in the roadstead of St. 
Pierre, Martinique. A mass meeting was held and a resolu- 
tion adopted unanimously that the trade-winds were a hum- 



, AMONG THE ISLANDS. 145 

bug. The Commissioner suggested that perhaps the trades 
had organized a Trades' Union, and were on a strike ; but 
Uncle John thought the Commissioner had swallowed them 
in his early morning walks on deck. This was not a reason- 
able hypothesis, however, for, under ordinary circumstances, 
the trade-winds are unchanging, while the Commissioner 
often changes his breath. 

Our first visitors after the pilot left, were naked negro 
children, seated in the bottoms of short boats, looking like 
coffins cut in two ; proposing to dive after silver coin, and 
afford us some water-color studies in African anatomy. For- 
tunately they were all boys. We threw a few pieces over- 
board, which they seized with great dexterity before they 
were many feet below the surface. These natant-gymnasts 
refused to dive for coppers, for they knew we were just arrived 
and had in our possession none of the copper coin current in 
Martinique ; but the sailing-master played a successful trick 
on them. He wrapped an English halfpenny in tin-foil and 
threw it in the water, where it was seized at once as a glitter- 
ing prize. The sailing-master is a financier. He engaged in 
a little financial legislation on his own account, and passed an 
act making foreign copper a legal tender. 

Greatly to our regret, the Commissioner left us here, offi- 
cial engagements compelling him to return to New York, 
where Mayor Edson pined for his concurrent presence at 
Cabinet councils. Before leaving, he had an opportunity to 
go ashore, where his commanding presence elicited the usual 
encomiums from ready-tongued brunettes, engaged in the 
sale of fish. He bought a broad-brimmed Panama hat^ of 
true curvilinear beauty, upon which we held a council of the 
navy, and decided that it was becoming to his florid and ex- 
pansive style of comeliness ; quite an appropriate tile to roof 
the magnificent, first appearance, moustache which, carefully 



146 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

nurtured by invigorating sea air, and watered by trade-wind 
spray, had attained an extraordinary extent of hirsute luxuri- 
ance. During the hot July days next summer, that hairy 
thatch will inspire with awe the street Arabs of the City Hall 
Park, who will take the wearer to be some rich sugar-planter 
from the West Indies, who sold out last year, and will impor- 
tune him for backshish. 

We shall miss the Commissioner during the rest of our 
voyage, for a more intelligent, genial, companionable gentle- 
man it would be hard to find. Fortunately for his comfort, 
the British steamer Barracouta, which plies between New 
York and the tropics, came into port the day of our arrival, 
and we found that the purser was Major J. E. Colville, for a 
long time Superintendent of Quarantine at New York. In 
his company, the Commissioner cannot fail to have a pleasant 
returning voyage. We went aboard with him and spent some 
hours tasting the hospitality of Captain Evans, and left him 
with great reluctance, for his departure causes a vacancy in 
our little circle which we cannot but look upon regretfully. 
There is a spice of selfishness, too, in the feeling, for now 
that Uncle John has no formidable antagonist in his favorite 
game of dominos, he will dominate us with inexorable and 
despotic success. 

As the Barracouta sailed, she swept around the yacht, firing 
a gun and dipping her colors, to which we responded with 
the same ceremonial. And so we lost our agreeable mess- 
mate, who, after undergoing the discomforts and perils of the 
tempestuous Gulf Stream, was forced to leave before he could 
enjoy the favoring winds and smiling waves which we feel 
sure will attend us through the rest of our cruise in the trop- 
ics. Prosperous gales attend thee, and take thee safely to a 
joyful home, good friend and jolly companion ! 



CHAPTER XI. 

THE LONE BIRD. 

St., Pierre, March 21, 1884. 
Like other old sailors, we tarry messmates of the saloon are 
imbued with the superstitions that obtain in the forecastle ; 
many of which are familiar to the reading world, and some to 
the larger world that finds no time to read. Coleridge has 
made one of these the theme of his immortal poem, "The 
Rime of the Ancient Mariner." 

"At length did cross an albatross ; 
Thro' the fog it came ; 
As if it had been a Christian soul, 
We hailed it in God's name." 

" In mist or cloud, on mast or shroud, 
It perched for vespers nine ; 
While all the night, through fog smoke-white, 
Glimmered the white moonshine." 

" ' God save thee, ancient mariner, 

From the fiends that plague thee thus ! 
Why look'st thou so ? ' ' With my cross-bow 
I shot the albatross.' " . 

The second day after we sailed from Bermuda, Uncle John 
— who is detailed for duty to do the early rising act for all 
the voyagers — going on deck, as is his wont, to sniff the 
breeziness of misty morn, discovered a bird perched on the 
foremast. It could not be an albatross so far north, and it 



148 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

had no aquatic appearance ; so he surmised that it must be 
some land bird, which, weary on the wing, had sought this rest- 
ing-place. It may have been allured by the savory odors that 
exhaled through the open hatchway of the cook's galley, where 
the "Doctor" was engaged compounding some little trifles 
of beefsteak, mutton-chops, ham and eggs, corned beef hash, 
stewed kidneys, muffins, wheat-cakes, and buttered toast, for 
the simple breakfast, of a few plain, light dishes, which he 
provides daily to appease our languid matin appetite. Evi- 
dently it was not a pigeon, for no glossy reflections came from 
burnished neck in the rays of sunshine which streamed over 
it, as it sat, mute and immovable, on the mast-head, not 
even prinking and arranging its plumage, as is the custom of 
birds, and young ladies going out for a promenade. The 
bird was of a dusky color, unrelieved by a bright feather, 
sombre as a religious recluse ; and it remained through the 
livelong day, in mournful isolation, like an honest man at 
a political convention. It never moved a wing, not even 
when Uncle John startled the sea-gulls with the exultant 
cry of Domino ! when the Commodore held a count of 
104 blocked out in his hand. No one was able to guess at 
the species to which the visitor belonged. All surmises were 
rejected at once, except the suggestion that it might be a bird 
which formerly had its habitat in the festive coverts of the 
old Seventh Ward, New York, known as the Filakoo. This 
hypothesis received some consideration until the Commis- 
sioner, who is an east-side archivist, remarked that the Fila- 
koo bird was an extinct variety of the night-singer, only pre- 
served now, in cobwebbed recesses, among faded memories, 
in the traditionary lore museum of Old Rounders. 

As our foretopmast had been unshipped for the voyage, 
no topsail could be bent, and the sailors having, therefore, no 
occasion to go aloft, the bird was left in undisturbed posses- 



THE LONE BIRD. 149 

sion of the stumpy stick which replaced temporarily the ab- 
sent spar. It appeared to be not only deaf and dumb, but 
blind, paying no attention to anything that occurred. Even 
the vivid flashes from resplendent scarves that gleamed along 
the deck in Uncle John's wake, like phosphorescent trails in 
the furrowed sea, failed to arouse it to the effort of esthetic 
contemplation. The boatswain's whistle, piping to meals, 
was unheeded ; loud clapping of hands died away unnoticed, 
like unsolicited advice ; and vociferous shoo-shoos proved 
bootless. As a matter of course, it was safe under the aegis of 
superstition, for no one dared fire at the intruder. But for this, 
the Commodore would soon have brought it down, for he is 
a famous shot with a revolver, and once put four bullets out 
of five in the head of a dead shark, hung up to the davits — 
and yet he was nearly two feet distant. The steward sprin- 
kled crumbs on the deck every evening, but they failed to 
tempt the solitary, who might be called an anchorite had it 
settled on the anchor instead of the mast-head. As it could 
see none of the bits thrown for food, it might be described as 
a ce-nobite. Uncle John said this, but he was wrong. Ceno- 
bites do not dwell alone, while our bird was a sort of a sea- 
faring Simon Stylites. 

The poor wanderer was the object of much curious solici- 
tude. It seemed to be like the little soldier, bewailed at the 
Oriskany centennial celebration, who, " a hundred years ago 
to-day did come, with his drum, and was scalped by the In- 
dians, with tomahawk and gun, so far away from home, my 
boys, so far away from home." Here was an object of tender 
compassion ; and Uncle John,, who was the original discoverer 
and claimed a patent, was full of theories regarding the age, 
sex, color, nativity, and previous statistical condition of the 
immigrant, who had sought the protection of the Montauk, a 
flag-ship of New York's pleasure navy. It was not an exile 



ISO THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

of Erin, for no land bird could fly so far across the Atlantic, 
were its wing as strong as Tim Campbell's hold on the Demo- 
cratic party, and as untiring as the pertinacity of a booth- 
skirmisher at a church fair. 

The Commissioner became greatly interested in the for- 
tunes of this mysterious fugitive, and, after a day or two, re- 
solved to try the effect of a personal appeal. He is an accom- 
plished rhetorician, having studied oratory in a renowned 
school, the RepubHcan General Committee of New York City, 
cheek by jowl with Colonel Karl Spencer and Senor Tomaso 
Murphy : peripatetics of the Fifth Avenue Hotel bar Ly- 
ceum, although sometimes Platonists of the Academy of Mu- 
sic at ratification meetings. " I'll try a little verse on that in- 
truder," said the Commissioner. " Let us see whether a hun- 
dred lines or so, in the persuasive and conciliatory, burial-of- 
factional-differences tone, will have any effect on the bolter." 
Striking his most effective, large-chested attitude, and with 
the " deestrick " ore rotundo of a born leader of the primary 
ballot-box, the Commissioner addressed the bird thus : 

Oh ! whence com'st thou, sad, silent bird ? 
What vernal breeze thy pinion stirred 
To waft thee to us, gentle guest ! 
Why art thou here ; what is thy quest ? 
Fly'st thou from balmy 'Mudian grove, 
Where flowering cedars scent the air 
(With rose-geranium perfume share). 
Far from thy native haunts to rove ? 
Didst perch on tree of calabash, 
Where Thomas Moore once found a mash, 
And made his limpid verses flow ? 
True, his fond essay was no go, 
Yet Thomas was a famous beau. 
" From rise of morn till set of sun," 
Hast " seen the mighty Mohawk run ;" 
Watched mournful cypress trailing low, 
And fireflies in dank myrtle glow ; 



THE LONE BIRD. 151 

Hast heard Canadian boatmen row ; 

With other strains by Moore ditto ? — 

If not, thou'rt but a songster slow ! 

Borne by fierce Hatteras' hateful gale, 

Didst thou, unwilling, hither sail, 

Torn from thy home in ole Carline, 

Beneath the honeysuckle vine. 

Where murmuring lovers' souls entwine ; 

Where mocking-birds their throats attune, 

And whippoorwills sing to the moon ? 

Or from the rice plantations' flood, 

With Sambo paddling in the mud ; 

Or from the Georgian cotton fields, 

Where generous nature stuffing yields 

To line the nest of callow young 

Who live, like lawyers, on the tongue ? 

Or from Floridian everglade, 

Where Leon's fruitless search was made 

For priceless youth's perennial font 

(Now advertised as Sozodont) ; 

Didst hold on orange bough debate 

And try conclusions with thy mate ? 

Com'st thou from where tall palms upreach ; 

Or fly'st from maple, birch, and beech ? 

Hast heard melodious madrigals 

In whispering paths at Trenton Falls ? 

Or viewed dark clouds gemmed orbs distil 

To deck with beauty Frankfort Hill ? 

Or smelt the Schuyler new-mown hay ? 

On Deerfield slopes seen lambs at play ? 

Or merry Marcy maidens gay 

New cider strain for Uncle Gray ? 

Didst o'er the brink of fountain lean 

To lave in sulphured Hippocrene, 

Or, like a reckless pelican, 

Skim scented Richfield Helicon ? 

Didst find where dainty flowers meet? 

— Fair rose, pure lily, pansy sweet — 

Where mists on mossy bark unite 

To trickle down from verd'rous height, 

Fern-bordered streamlets crooning creep 

Where wintergreen red berries sleep 



152 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

In leaf-enfolded nestling place, 

Like beauty's blush in love's embrace ? 

Hast skimmed Gowanus' noisome tide, 

By mud-scow flotsam rank supplied? 

Fouling the iron Taurus' line 

With jetsam, feline and canine. 

Hast viewed the Clifton rocky shore, 

Besprayed amid Niagara's roar ; 

At Saratoga, scanned the crowd, 

•Pretentious, vulgar, silly, loud ; 

Sought Newport, where grand airs we see 

Of cod-fish aristocracy ? 

Know'st thou where wreath of green hops crown 

The hills that swell above the town ? 

Hast felt o'er Jersey's buzzing plain 

Its nightingale's persuasive strain ; 

Heard young frogs' piping cradle song 

Mid tree-toads' midnight chirping throng ? 

Did odorous oils thy bill anoint 

At aromatic Hunter's Point ? 

Or cbm'st thou from the tropic isles 

Where sensuous summer blandly smiles ? 

Art dweller in that sunny clime 

Where Angostura, sugar, lime, 

Kind providence yields, for avail 

To blend matutinal cocktail ? 

Dost thou the weltering mango sip, 

And beak in chirimoya dip. 

From pulpy grapes the juice express ; 

Of pink guava make a mess ; 

Salad of avocado pear, 

With fruits and vegetables rare ? 

Hast seen the St. Kitt's monkey rude 

In antics show much latitude ? 

Viewed nose-ringed coolies, scanty clad, 

Serve heathen gods in Trinidad ? 

Heard Lady Jane Smith dances call 

At Dignity Barbados' ball ? 

Or com'st thou from the Spanish Main 

Where peace and plenty seldom reign ; 

From Orinoco's emptying streams. 

From forests of gigantic trees. 



THE LONE BIRD. 1 53 

Illumed by swift-winged glancing beams ; 
Where humming-birds are thick as bees — 
And all the atmosphere around 
Is charged electric with bright sound. 
Hoy I entiendo Casiellano, 
Mira ! mucJio crumb en inano. 
Du hast nicht Schweizer Kase, mast high, 
Furfreundinn, bier und pretzel, fly ! 
Come o'er the sea, birdling, with me, 
Shule, ma bouchal, colleen machree. 
Viens-tu de Martinique, noire France, 
Oil morde vefieniieux fer-de-lance? 
Or art thou baleful bird malign. 
Blown up from equatorial line ? 
Art thou a faithless spouse, expelled 
By jealous fury, and compelled 
Away from bed and board to hie. 
Vinculo niatrirnonii? 
Dost thou an injured rival shun 
At threatening mouth of empty gun ? 
Did wickedness thy voyage steer ; 
Art thou some feathered, fierce sea-wolf, 
Some vagabond, rude buccaneer ; 
Some ruthless parrot of the Gulf? 
Or, sipping too much potent dew, 
Didst wander here in tipsy " flew ? " 
List to my silvery, dulcet voice 
(Mistake me not for John C. Noyes), 
And answer make, in accents clear, 
What dost thou, lonely birdie, here ? 



To which the sullen, moping bird, answer made him never 
a word. 

This prolonged silence caused much anxiety about our 
visitor, who began to appear as something uncanny. It 
neither ate nor drank, so far as we could discover, but seemed 
to be repeating the idiotic effort of Tanner. It neither sang 
when we sang (but we didn't wonder at that, if it had any ear 
for music) nor did it dance when the boatswain piped. It 



154 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

never chirped ; and was as reticent as an unwilling witness in 
a case of crim. con. The sailors on port-watch thought they 
could hear strange, buzzing noises in the direction of its perch 
after midnight, but they were not certain. It became a bird 
of evil omen. 

We thought that the Commissioner was getting nervous 
from dwelling on this matLvais sujet, and that his sorrow at 
leaving us was compensated in some degree by the prospect 
of relief from the vexatious association. As he came on deck 
to-day, to embark on the Barracouta, with gripsack in hand, 
containing the equipment with which he sailed from New 
York — three paper collars (one soiled), a pair of collodion 
cuffs, a clay pipe, cribbage-board. Tribune almanac, and 
some blank election returns — he cast his weather eye aloft, 
and said, with that winning inflection employed in controver- 
sies with Mayor Edson, " Well, old chappy, I'll soon be on 
the Barracouta, and then I'm quit of you." 

Hardly had he uttered these fateful words, when a dark 
object fell at his feet. Picking it up, he exclaimed, "By 
Jove ! (an expletive acquired in his sojourn among the 'Mu- 
dians) split my mizzen to 'gal'n 'sis, if it isn't a Fire Island 
mosquito ! I thought I recognized the familiar Bay Shore 
serenade one night when I was on deck, but attributed it to 
a strong wind playing through the rigging like an ^olian 
harp." 

Thus was the action of the strange bird accounted for. 
.She had been wintering in Bermuda for her health, to escape 
the inclemency of the northern clime, and recognizing in the 
Commissioner (who is a member of the Olympic Club) an old 
friend with whom she had perhaps shared the same dormi- 
tory in the club-house during sultry summer-tide, she followed 
him aboard, intending to accompany him on the voyage. 
Not knowing that he was about to start for home, his rude 




THE LONE BIRD. 



THE LONE BIRD. I 55 

and thoughtless speech at parting gave her such a shock that 
the poor bird died of heart disease. 

Uncle John has great faith in the James pill. Some mali- 
cious person started a rumor that the bird came down at night 
and swallowed a James pill, found lying around loose, thrown 
away by a sailor on whom Uncle John had tried to work it 
off; but this is false, a story started by some rival patent 
medicine vendor. She died of heart disease ; did this ex- 
patriated Babylon bulbul. 

We gave the remains of the American bird of freedom to 
a colored man and brother, who came alongside, in a whole 
boat, and part of a calico shirt. Evidently he had no music 
in his soul ; an unromantic, comm.onplace son of Afric, who, 
if there had been a run on him, couldn't show more than four- 
teen per cent, of shirt, with no assets in the matter of trou- 
sers ; and a darky of cannibalistic propensities withal. He 
sold the wings of the dead exile for turtle fins, and, after cut- 
ting off a few steaks, converted the remainer of the carcass 
into terrapin stew. 

This brief episode is not put forth as a naked fact. I will 
admit that it is an invention, pure and simple, of the fecund 
brain of Uncle John, Rex Dominorwn. I make the admis- 
sion in order to deprecate any distrust that might attach to 
the rest of the veracious chronicle, were this flight of fancy 
launched as truth. Some credulous persons, such as believe 
in the efficacy of reform quackery, for example, might credit 
this if they were not warned. It is fabricated out of whole 
cloth, unless the buzzing of a mosquito in Uncle John's berth 
last night may be taken as a thread of the narrative. It is 
given as a specimen of the old-sailor yarns which he spins 
for our beguilement when kept below by bad weather. From 
the most trivial incidents doth he weave webs of delicate de- 
sign, quaintly fantastic as the meandering complications of 



156 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

his bewildering shirt-fronts, brilliant as the coruscations of 
his wonderfully-involuted, labyrinthine cravats. When it is 
unpleasant on deck, and surfeit of dominos palls the sated 
appetite for diverting games, Uncle John diverts us by mak- 
ing game of himself. 



CHAPTER XII. 

ST. PIERRE. 

The Flag of Our Union — The Alliance — St. Pierre — Negroes — Religion- 
Fish — Blanchisseuses — A Dazzling Costume — A State Dinner — Sym- 
posium — A Soldier No More — Fireworks. 

St. Pierre, Martinique, March 22, 1884. 
The United States flag, floating from the man-of-war astern 
of which we were anchored at St. Pierre, presented a grate- 
ful sight. It seemed as if we were meetmg an old friend 
abroad ; a pleasure seldom enjoyed in this way, for our flag 
is as rare on the seas as gold-pieces in a poor-box. We ap- 
pear to be so fond of our brilliant ensign that we want to 
keep it at home ; and the richest and most powerful nation 
the sun ever shone on cuts but a sorry figure in shipping. 
This inferiority is the theme of platitudinous comment in the 
newspapers, and affords stump-speakers opportunity for crit- 
icisms of the opposing party, which, like most efforts of par- 
tisan oratory, amount to nothing, just as the fault-finders 
expect. The cause of the decadence in American ship-build- 
ing is something beyond ordinary comprehension ; at least 
nobody appears to understand the subject sufficiently to pro- 
pose an efficient remedy. I have read a good deal about it, 
and, in common with my countrymen, remain profoundly 
ignorant. In our affairs, the more discussion, the more igno- 
rance ; the more debate and legislative investigation, the more 
muddle in the public mind. It is a good thing for the poli- 



158 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

ticians to have this grievance on hand. It furnishes prolific 
matter for denouncing the existing Administration, whatever 
it may be ; as Judge Grover used to say, going down to the 
tavern and swearing at the Court. I relegate this subject to 
the consideration of the wise and unselfish statesmen who 
govern us ; it is not a topic for the voyager, idling along, jot- 
ting down, for the perusal of indulgent friends, such trifling 
incidents of travel as come under his personal observation. 
It is a lamentable fact, however, that we have not attained 
the maritime ascendancy to which our national greatness en- 
titles us. 

I am not given to sentimentality, indeed am rather a 
matter-of-fact, unromantic person (it may occur to you from 
these letters that I am prosy withal), but there is some- 
thing in the stars and stripes floating out on the breeze, that 
stirs one up, not only as a reminder of home, but because 
it is an emblem of freedom, the hospitable sign of refuge 
for the oppressed of all nations. It is an invitation to fly 
from political oppression, to the oppression of Mrs. Grundy, 
the moral-reform societies, and crank associations. We 
might wish that its folds afforded the American citizen in 
every part of the world the same scrupulous protection the 
British flag gives the English subject, but we shall come to 
that all in good time. We are young yet, with crude ideas 
of personal rights, which we prate about but do not ap- 
preciate ; just as we preach temperance, morality, and hon- 
esty, without undue addictedness to either. However, it 
is a handsome piece of bunting (I was about to say " that 
old flag," which is rodomontade, for it is a new flag, of but 
a century's existence, although I am wilHng General Barnum 
should describe it as ** old glory " in his impassioned ad- 
dresses to the Grand Army of the Republic). It is endeared 
to me, not only as the flag of my native land, but through 



ST. PIERRE. 159 

associations in the field, where ties were formed that bind 
brave and loyal hearts together ; and so I say, All honor to 
the flag of the Union ! 

The United States Steamship Alliance is a steamship 
carrying six guns, which has been cruising in these waters for 
the winter. She is the vessel that was sent to the Arctic 
regions in search of the ill-fated Jeannette. Captain Reed, 
the commander, visited the Montauk shortly after our arrival, 
and there was reciprocal extension of courtesies during all our 
stay in port. 

Martinique is the largest of the Lesser Antilles, and most 
important of the French West India Islands. It is over 50 
miles long, and contains a population of 154,000, about 10,000 
or 12,000 being white. It has two towns of importance, St. 
Pierre, the commercial port, and Fort de France, the capital, 
where there is a naval station and a garrison of soldiers. St. 
Pierre is built along the sea-shore, with a spur of habitations 
creeping up in the mountains, along the bank of a river which 
flows direct to the sea. Pelee Mountain is an extinct volcano, 
4,000 feet high, an imposing mass of greenness, indented with 
ravines of darker shade, which mark the conduits of numerous 
springs, gushing from its bosom into cascaded rivulets. On 
an eminence overlooking the town, is a large statue of the 
Blessed Virgin, standing as a protecting guardian, robed in 
white, a sacred figure, benignant and serene. The houses of 
St. Pierre are of gray stone, with brown roofs, which have a 
pretty effect viewed from the water. The streets are nar- 
row, well paved with Belgian blocks, and clean. Water runs 
through the gutters on both sides, affording efficient surface 
drainage, but there are no sewers. Light refuse of all kinds 
is thrown into these convenient cleansing rivulets. One must 
keep a sharp ear for the old Edinburgh cry, " gardeyloo," for 
the inhabitants do not always take the trouble to go to the 



l6o THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

gutter to deposit cloacal contributions, but project them from 
afar, like an Indiana tobacco-chewer attacking a spittoon. 
Fountains are numerous, and the exuberant water supply- 
would delight the heart of a hydropathist. 

The negroes appear to be of superior type to those of St. 
Kitt's, better looking, cleaner, and more intelligent. Evident- 
ly there is a considerable admixture of white blood in the 
population. I am informed, however, that the color line is 
strictly drawn, the taint of negro blood, while no disqualifi- 
cation for political or mercantile association, operating as an 
insuperable barrier to social recognition. It is something 
like the caste distinction between professional, mercantile, and 
mechanical pursuits which obtains in our republican land. As 
a rule, the people are well dressed. Judging from their un- 
artificial contour, many of the negresses wear but one gar- 
ment, a long calico robe, with a sweeping train of con- 
ventional Charity Ball extent. The small children are more 
sparing in attire, so that, taking all together, they about 
strike an average in the quantity of material used between 
them. 

The laborers, as all through the West Indies, are negroes. 
The dignity of labor is not regarded with that fond admiration 
which possesses the soul of the lawyer candidate for office 
about election time in New York. In the narrow streets, are 
to be seen carts laden with casks, propelled by hand, not the 
light porter's wagon, but genuine drays with shafts. But it 
takes several negroes to a dray. Everybody seems to be 
busy, but nobody in a hurry. No movement is to be seen 
here like the feverish palpitation of Broadway, between the 
City Hall and Wall Street, during business hours. Perspira- 
tion may be induced without effort. Fortunately, though it 
is excessively hot, there is always a coolish breeze blowing, 
which renders the atmosphere tolerable in the shade. The 



ST. PIERRE. l6l 

men wear white linen suits, and the favorite head-covering is 
the Panama hat, though the East-Indian pith helmet is seen 
occasionally. 

There are no glass windows, simply apertures in the wall, 
with wooden shutters in shops to close when business is over. 
The number of drinking-places bears evidence that water is not 
the favorite beverage. It may be because it is not expensive. 
We are prone to underrate what is cheap. Licenses are issued 
by the Ferme, as the internal revenue department is styled, and 
the number of the debit is painted on the outside of the build- 
ing licensed. Anybody can get a license who will pay for it. 
There are no nonsensical restrictions ; there are no drunkards 
to be seen. We saw some curious placards on the walls. On 
one door was a large handbill, of white paper, with staring black 
letters, containing this pious aspiration : O Marie, cojigiie sans 
pc'che\ priez pour nous ! while the adjoining building, devoted 
to the sale of liquors, had for its sign : Aiix amours de Bac- 
chus ; a curious neighborly conjunction of the spiritual and 
the spirituous, of heathen and Christian worship. Another had 
an eulogistic inscription to President Paul Grevy for some act 
of patriotism. 

St. Pierre contains several churches, one a venerable Cathe- 
dral, somewhat dilapidated, undergoing reparation. They 
are all Catholic. But few, if any, Protestants live in Marti- 
nique. Here is a great field for the missionary. It is a hack- 
neyed old joke, revived by every fresh traveler in France, that 
even the little children of Paris speak French ; but it really 
strikes an American as strange to be in a place where the in- 
habitants, ninety per cent, colored, all speak French and wor- 
ship in the Catholic Church. Whether the salutary influence 
of the priests has anything to do with the superiority of these 
islanders to those under English rule, is a nut for theologians 
to crack. I refer it to Bishop McQuaid, of Rochester, and 



l62 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

Bishop Doane, of Albany, and will abide by their unanimous 
decision. 

I suppose there must be Jews here, for much business is 
done, and where you find commerce there will the children 
of Israel be gathered to have a controlling share in its man- 
agement. Some coolies are to be met, but they are not so 
numerous as in the island of Trinidad, further south. 

Ice is dear, costing $40 a ton, the usual price in the West 
Indies. The telegraph is an expensive medium of communi- 
cation. Four words to New York cost us $11.60, an increase 
of forty cents a word on the St. Kitt's tariff. 

The fish-market, a paved space near the shore, with two 
or three frail open structures, has a large supply offish, many 
of them curiously and brilliantly marked. The tropical fish 
do not compare, in variety and flavor, with those found in 
northern waters. Women control the fish-market. The draw- 
ing of seines near the shore, directly in front of where we lay 
at anchor, afforded us much amusement. It was usually at- 
tended with great vociferation, and attracted all the boys 
bathing in the vicinity, who lent a hand as volunteers and 
added to the turmoil without charge. Sometimes the draught 
was a case of vox et preterea nihil : a large investment of 
voice — net result, nothing. 

Walking for exercise, in the road that winds along the side 
of a mountain abutting the shore, we came upon an extensive 
Martinique laundry ; a narrow, shallow stream, with a rocky 
bed, fed by springs from the hill-sides. In this big wash-tub 
a number of black blanchisscuses, wading in the water that 
reached above their ankles to an extent indefinite to our 
averted eyes, were engaged pummeling doomed articles, upon 
which they wreaked vengeful purification. They laid the 
garments on sacrificial stones and pounded away with the 
vehemence of a Sullivan, holding his antagonist " in chancery." 




JARDIN DES PLANTES, ST. PIERRE. 



ST, PIERRE. 163 

They seemed to have a spite against the objects under their 
harsh manipulation. I am sure they had against some un- 
fortunate under-garments I entrusted to their tender mercies 
in a moment of confiding weakness. They were terribly 
knocked up when returned to me, about in a condition of a 
neophyte Son of Malta who had just experienced Xho. peine 
forte et dure, traversing the rugged path which led to the dis- 
enthrallment of persecuted nations. " I should be afraid," 
said Uncle John, with a shudder, " to trust my best colored 
shirts, of the morning-glory, convolvulus, grapevine, and 
night-blooming cereus pattern, to those inconsiderate washer- 
women." " Well, you might be," remarked the Commodore, 
*' if you were not afraid, yourself, your linen would certainly 
come back a-frayed." The usual fine was at once imposed, 
which the Commodore paid as soon as we returned to the 
yacht. This is his receipt in full. I detest puns. " Just to- 
think," remarked Uncle John, plaintively, "those ignorant 
creatures might save all that trouble of pounding by putting 
an ounce of detergent in the source of the river every morn- 
ing." 

Returning the visit of Captain Reed, we found in his 
cabin the English Consul ; a fine old Irish gentleman, paying 
an official visit, in full uniform or court-suit ; coat, with collar 
and cuffs elaborately embroidered, chapeau and sword. I 
never have seen a complete inventory of the adornments which 
formed the basis of that oft-quoted array of " Solomon in all 
his glory," but I fancy it might be found in the bill of dress 
of the English Consular service. It reminded me of the mys- 
tic show-window of a dealer in Masonic regalia. It is proper 
to say that the court-dress was quite becoming to the good- 
looking, dignified wearer, but it afforded a striking contrast 
to the parsimoniously plain uniform of the United States ser- 
vice. 



l64 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

The Commodore invited the officers of the Alliance to dine 
with him, and the invitation was accepted by Captain Reed, 
Lieutenants Rich, Reynolds, Wright and Gulick, and Ensign 
Rose. In honor of the occasion, the steward exercised his in- 
genuity to get up a dinner as elaborate as the means at his 
command would afford, and the success was complete. He 
made it a sort of memorial feast, with his dishes of American 
names; and with the aid of Hors d' CEuvres , various wines, 
confections and fruits, to fill in, swelled the bill of fare into 
quite respectable proportions. It assumed a national aspect, 
befitting a dinner given to naval representatives of our coun- 
try abroad. 

I send the menu, copies of which, on the yacht cards, em- 
blazoned with the cross signals of the club and the Montauk, 
were preserved by the officers as mementoes of the enter- 
tainment : 

Welcome, Officers of the Alliance! 

MENU. 

March 21, 1884. 

Little Neck Clams, meinoire de New York. 

Chablis. 

Terrapin Soup, Baltimore style. 

Sherry, Montilla, i860. 

Boiled Fish, Cape Cod Sauce. 

Boiled Potatoes, Jersey Peachblows. 

Still Moselle, Zeltinger. 

Roast Turkey, Newport Stuffing. 

Boiled Onions, botiqtiet de Weathersfield. 

Green Peas, Norfolk. 

Baked Sweet Potatoes, St. Augustine. 

Champagne , Montauk, preniier cru. 

Broiled Squabs on Toast, Philadelphia style. 

Lettuce Salad, Boston Dressing. 

Claret, Chateau Mauvezin. 



ST. PIERRE. 165 

Plum Pudding, Hartford Sauce. 

Sherry, Montilla, 1845. 

Wine Jelly, Catawba. 

Blanc-manger : Charlotte Russe. 

Bonbons : Candied Pensamiento, 

Ruesorelle, Callecabana. 

Fruits. 
Cheese (from Oneida). 

Coffee. 
Cognac, Otard & Cie. 
Vino Americano, Old Fort Schuyler Malt Rye. 
Yacht Montauk, St. Pierre, Martinique. 

It is sufficient to say of the dinner that the guests seemed 
to enjoy it, and we lingered at the table until the murmuring 
waifs of cool night breeze, floating down through the wide 
ventilator overhead, invited us to take our coff'ee and cognac 
on deck. We spent some hours most agreeably, singing songs, 
telling stories, and relating funny personal experiences. Cap- 
tain Reed has been an indefatigable collector of jokes and bon- 
mots, which he exhibits with the enthusiasm of the virtuoso 
in facetiae. One of the attractive features of our session on 
deck was the character of the songs sung. They were mainly 
negro melodies, popular ere opera boiijfe had vitiated our taste 
for simple harmonies, " Dearest May," " Old Folks at Home," 
" Fare you well. Ladies," and other familiar strains of the 
olden time. These frank and breezy sailors, cruising around 
the world, are not up to all the slang cockneyisms and in- 
nuendoes of the vulgar concert-saloon variety, but bring back 
the days of Christy, Campbell, and Buckley, in the honest 
songs which they sing, with soul in them. 

One of the guests on the Montauk sang, at the Commo- 
dore's request, a little song, to the air of " Kathleen O'More," 
which has not been published, and I send it to you. The 
music is plaintive. 



i66 



THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 



A SOLDIES. NO MORE. 

WRITTEN FOR POST JOHN F. MCQUADE, NO. I4, G. A. R., UTICA, N. Y. 

hi-R— Kathleen O'More. 



Andante. _ _ -m- ^ ^ 



_«_-ff: 



-1— ^ 



-^-r- g:. 






%t. 



--r=:^^z=-5=1<!=:^S=^sf^v:p===-3=== 

-S— L= =1:;-^ W« s^ 1-. 



r*--^- 



=&=tSI 



They ten- der-ly lay him to rest 'neath the oak, And tear-ful- ly 



li^-ix: 



^- 



'^==^^^ 



^3^" 



1^1 



SlE 



&»= 






peace to his ash - es in - voke. The brave U - nion sol - dier — a 




=S=i= 



?&«_ 



3t=»=ZIZiI 



=gS=^=^ 



i^g 



i=U: 



1?=*: 



dead pri-vate sol-dier — A sol-dier no more. 



ST. PIERRE. 167 

When called by his country her flag to uphold, 
He soon 'mongst the first volunteers was enrolled. 
The brave Union soldier ; a dead private soldier ; 
A soldier no more. 

Still foremost in battle to do his devoir, 
True glory was ever his bright guiding star. 
The brave Union soldier ; a dead private soldier ; 
A soldier no more. 

He fell, as a freeman should fall, in the fight, 
Upholding the cause of Truth, Justice and Right. 
The brave Union soldier ; a dead private soldier ; 
A soldier no more. 

Not proudly emblazoned in scroll of high Fame, 
But graved on sad hearts is the dead soldier's name. 
The brave Union soldier ; a dead private soldier ; 
A soldier no more. 

It was late when our friends left us, the stars scintillating 
in a darkling, enameled sky ; and as they rowed off they sang 
that good old stave, " Merrily now we row along, o'er the dark 
blue sea." When about midway between the vessels, they 
gave three resounding cheers for "the United States yacht 
Montauk," which we answered with three for the officers of 
the United States Steamship Alliance. With the supplemen- 
tary " tiger " to our cheer, there burst forth from the deck of the 
yacht a blaze of red, white, and blue fires, which had been pre- 
pared for ignition at the proper moment. The effect was mag- 
nificent. The symmetrical masts, graceful spars, and delicate 
rigging of the yacht stood out boldly defined in the predomi- 
nating flush of crimson, which shone on the war-ship, evoking 
the great hull from the obscurity in which it had been shrouded, 
as if it obeyed the incantation of some magic fire ; while be- 
tween was the white gig of the Captain, filled with the officers 



l68 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

and boat's crew, resting on their oars, as they gazed at the spec- 
tacle with faces radiant in the coruscation. The colored balls 
from Roman candles, held by our sailors on deck, shot up in 
the air, bringing reflective twinkles from the emerald hills 
ashore, and lighting up the harbor in a flood of enveloping 
refulgence. 

A gentleman who viewed this illumination from the town 
said that he had never witnessed anything finer ; excelling 
even more elaborate pyrotechnic set-pieces. I can imagine 
that the dazzling glitter of a sudden eruption of brilliant fires, 
on a dark night, seeming to spring up like a volcanic outburst 
from the sea, must have been a striking display. Upon reach- 
ing the deck of the Alliance, the officers acknowledged the 
compliment by discharging responsive rockets ; and, with this 
friendly return of our amicable fire, darkness shut down like 
an extinguisher, the hovering rain set in, and midnight hushed 
to silence again. 



CHAPTER XIII. 

MARTINIQUE. 

The Empress Josephine— Morne Rouge — Holy Ground — Jardin des 
Plantes — The Fer-de-lance — Sunday Inspection — Dcjeilner-dinatoire 
— The Loyal Legionier. 

St. Pierre, March 23, 1884. 
Some of the biographers give St. Pierre as the birthplace of the 
Empress Josephine, but they are wrong. She was born near 
Fort de France (then styled Fort Royal), where there is a 
magnificent statue of white marble, erected to her memory, 
in 1868, by the inhabitants of Martinique. The date of her 
birth, as recorded in the baptismal registry of the Church of 
Trois-ilets, was June 17, 1763. She was the daughter of 
Joseph Gaspard de Tascher, Lord of La Pagerie, a lieuten- 
ant of artillery in the French army, and Rose Claire Duver- 
ger de Sannois. At the age of sixteen, Mdlle. Tascher mar- 
ried Alexander de Beauharnais ; he was nineteen years of age. 
The history of her separation, in 1788 ; her return to Marti- 
nique with her daughter Hortense (mother of Napoleon III.) ; 
the death of Beauharnais by the guillotine, in 1794 ; her mar- 
riage to Napoleon on March 9, 1796 ; her coronation as Em- 
press by Pope Pius VII., in 1804, when Napoleon assumed 
the imperial crown ; her divorce, and her death at Malmaison, 
in 1809, are all famihar to the reader. The islanders of Mar- 
tinique are very proud of the fact that their island gave birth 
to this lovely and unfortunate woman (sacrificed to the ambi- 



I'JO THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

tion of the Emperor^, who has left a charming memory among 
the romantic episodes of history. 

Josephine was one of the most beautiful and amiable of 
women. Her elevation to the crown was predicted by an old 
sibyl some years before her first marriage. The soothsayer 
prophesied as follows (according to Josephine's own state- 
ment, made before all these predictions had come to pass) : 
" You will soon be married — but you will not be happy. You 
will be a widow, and then — then you will be Queen of France. 
Some happy years will be yours, but you will die in a hos- 
pital amid civil commotion." She paid no attention to the 
prophecy at the time, and it was only when her first husband 
died on the scaffold that she began to believe it might be ful- 
filled. If some political vaticinator had prophesied five years 
ago that Chester A. Arthur would become President of the 
United States, his prediction would have received no more 
credence than did the promise of future greatness to the 
charming young Creole, surrounded by her negro slaves in 
the island of Martinique. 

Yesterday we made a pilgrimage of curiosity to Morne 
Rouge, a mountain village about six miles distant, noted for 
its devotional character. The drive (we were no palmers with 
staff and scrip, though the scallop-shell is the heraldic device 
of the Commodore, proving that he is descended from a 
Crusader) was through a fine road, skirting the Jardin des 
Plantes, passing the Maison de Sante, and several handsome 
residences, on the river-banks leading to the mountains. The 
ascent, accomplished by easy grades, afforded many pleasing 
views of hill and valley scenery, with the sea in the distance. 
Sugar-cane fields lined the roadsides, in progressive stages 
of development, some in the incipience of green tenderness, 
others in the sturdy robustness of the brown stalk ; while 
in sheaves were the matured canes that had "fallen into 



MARTINIQUE. 171 

the sere, the yellow-leaf," cut down by the bow-bill of the 
harvester, and awaiting transportation to the mill. 

It would seem as if in these tropical regions the women 
do more work than the men, saving of course the hard labor 
on roads, moving heavy objects, loading and unloading ves- 
sels, and kindred occupations. Few women were to be 
found idling, but many men appear to be taking it easy. 
Hardly a negress was to be met in the road who was not carry- 
ing a load on her head, while men loitered along, empty- 
handed, empty-headed. Every burden is borne on the head, 
from the weightiest to the lightest. Small children carried 
bundles of a few ounces, balancing as if they were heavy 
weights. Perhaps they were practicing for greater efforts. 
If one of these women had occasion to carry home a spool of 
thread, she would put it on her head, instead of having it sent 
by the shopkeeper's light wagon, as is the custom with our 
fine ladies. I attribute the erect litheness which distinguishes 
the carriage of these women to this habit of bearing burdens 
on the head. A noticeable thing about the contents of the 
loads was the multitude of bottles and flasks. The neck of a 
bottle peeped out from every bundle and a cork from every 
basket. We saw several women balancing demijohns on 
their heads, some with wicker coverings, others denuded and 
showing the naked glass. It requires skill — this wrestling 
with a demijohn. I have known strong men at home to un- 
dertake it, and meet with dismal failures. It may be owing 
to the atmosphere. I don't think the persons I have in view 
lifted the bottle high enough to keep their balance. This 
repeated vitriform spectacle caused Uncle John to exclaim, 
whenever he saw women approaching, " More bottles ! " 

Negresses and donkeys are the common carriers of this 
country. We met a man comfortably bestriding a diminutive 
ass, with well-filled panniers protruding on both hands, while 



1/2 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

alongside trudged three women, carrying heavy loads on their 
heads, and occasionally encouraging the donkey in his patient 
progress. But man is lord of creation. 

At the summit of the mountain, a short distance from 
Morne Rouge, is a crucifix of large dimensions, v/ith a life- 
size figure of Our Saviour, and an adjoining receptacle for 
votive offerings. Wayside shrines and crosses are plenty in 
Martinique. 

We found the weather quite cool at the elevation of Morne 
Rouge. We thought that possibly we might be able to sell 
our stove here, but the villagers were kept warm by religious 
fervor. It is a long, straggling settlement, with many of the 
characteristics of a French village, reviving in me recollections 
of the old-fashioned Canadian Seigneurie in which happy col- 
lege days were spent. The church is plain and unpretentious 
without, but the interior, of the usual cruciform shape, is ex- 
ceedingly beautiful, with one high altar and two side altars, 
dedicated respectively to the Blessed Virgin and St. Joseph. I 
believe devout pilgrimages are made here, and there is certainly 
an air of sanctity about the place well calculated to inspire de- 
votion in the mind prepared for religious impression. The 
frescoing of the ceilings is remarkably fine, and on the walls 
hang valuable paintings, of such excellence as to excite sur- 
prise that they are to be found in this out-of-the-way little 
hamlet. The dim religious light has a tinge of cheerfulness 
rare in ecclesiastical edifices of the conventional order of archi- 
tecture. This church possesses in appearance all the attri- 
butes of a veritable sanctuary. Harmonious with the devo- 
tional quiet and repose, was the presence of two white-veiled 
nuns, who knelt before the high altar, wrapped in pious med- 
itation. A few persons were scattered along the aisles say- 
ing their prayers, among them several negro boys, one of 
whom was just about to enter the confessional. The spirit- 




SOME JEWELRY. 



MARTINIQUE. 173 

uality of this devout temple could not fail to impress even 
those who are not believers in its creed. As we emerged 
from this peaceful precinct, we met a cheerful, gray-haired 
priest, in cassock and white band, who greeted us with an 
urbane smile and courteous inclination of the head. He was 
a refined, intellectual-looking man, who filled the idea of the 
typical abbe, one who combines religious knowledge with the 
culture and accomplishments of the great world. I regretted 
that we did not take advantage of his salutation to converse 
with the village citre\ if such was his office. 

We drove up to a cabaret and took a glass of water, suffi- 
ciently cool, from the porous earthen jar, properly alleviated, 
to wash down a morsel of crusty bread, palatable and whole- 
some, without being very white, and some excellent cheese. 
The stone floor and plain wooden seats were such as we see 
in provincial France ; and but for the black faces, the tropi- 
cal vegetation, and some of the huts, one might imagine one's 
self among the French peasantry ; that hardy, simple, honest, 
and religious folk, leading uneventful lives in their quiet com- 
munes. 

We had not time on our return home to make a thorough 
examination of the Jardin des Plantes, which is well worth 
visiting, as it contains fine specimens of vegetation, plants, 
flowers, and trees, with cascades and miniature lakes. It is 
said that the venomous fer-de-lance, the dreaded snake of 
Martinique, lurks in the more sequestered places of this arti- 
ficial paradise. This malignant reptile is different from other 
serpents, inasmuch as it does not wait for attack, but be- 
comes the aggressor. It must be a formidable enemy, for it 
is the terror of the island. Some claim that it infests the 
mountain roadside in the suburbs, and that at night travelers 
carry lanterns to frighten it off. But snake stories must be 
taken with a grain of allowance. There is no antidote for its 



1/4 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

poisonous bite, and many laborers die from it in the cane- 
fields every year. I do not learn that the snake exists any- 
where else, though it is said to be found in the adjacent island 
of St. Lucia. 

Earthquakes cause some damage here, but there is more 
fright than hurt in the tremblements-de-terre, except on ex- 
traordinary occasions. The hurricane, however, is more de- 
structive. Two years ago, a cyclone from the southwest tore 
thirty vessels from anchorage and moorings and drove them 
ashore. With the earthquake, hurricane, tarantula, scorpion, 
and fer-de-lance, Martinique, like St. Kitt's, presents attrac- 
tions for prolonged absence. 

This morning we attended the Sunday inspection aboard 
the Alliance, and accompanied Captain Reed in his rounds. 
The ship was scrupulously neat, and the men, in their clean 
white suits, looked hearty and sailor-like. Our country may 
be deficient in ships, but the Yankee tar has no superior on 
the seas. A platoon of marines, under command of Lieutenant 
Gulick, formed part of the force. The calls aboard ship are 
now sounded on the bugle, the inspiring, ear-piercing fife, 
which formerly blew the men to quarters, having had its pipe 
put out by the economy which rules our Navy. According 
to the sea-ditty, they reformed Jack — " added to his pay five 
cents a day, and stopped his grog forever." 

After the inspection, we spent an hour with Captain Reed 
in his cabin. He showed us some curious things he had col- 
lected in his voyaging. The Captain has a taste for natural 
history, and gathers specimens as he goes along. He gave 
us a great variety of the fruits found in these islands, which 
were novel to us. One of them, the sour-sop, makes a de- 
licious drink, with a little sugar and ice. 

We had accepted an invitation to breakfast with the ward- 
room officers, and sat down to table at ii o'clock, the usual 



MARTINIQUE. ,175 

hour in these latitudes, the meal being a dejeimer-a-la-four- 
cJiette. In addition to the lieutenants who had dined with 
us, there were present Lieutenants Lasher and McLean, Sur- 
geon Bradley, and two of my old acquaintances. Paymaster 
McGowan and Chief Engineer Kelly. 

The adaptability of West Indian fruits to bibulous pur- 
poses was profusely demonstrated at the generous breakfast. 
Before sitting down, we discerned one of the lieutenants in 
his state-room busily employed expressing fruits into an ap- 
petizing draught, in accordance with the habit of our healthy 
ancestors, recorded in the old saw : " Our fathers, who were 
wondrous wise, first washed their throats and then their 
eyes." But that we knew of the popularity of fruit potables 
on the ship, and the disfavor in which spirituous compounds 
were held, we would have mistaken this simple juice for the 
genuine "Fennel" — the early-bird vermifuge aboard the 
Montauk, named in honor of our favorite poet Longfellow : 

" Then in Life's goblet freely press, 
The leaves that give it bitterness." 

It was a perfect imitation, well calculated to deceive. It 
had all the fennelian idiosyncrasies — I regard that as a neat 
way of putting it in plain and simple language. This success- 
ful utilization of tropic fruits was not restricted to the ante- 
prandial " whet," but permeated the feast — in bottles of fa- 
miliar appearance. By the application of efficient transmuting 
formulas, the practical chemists of the Alliance ward-room 
laboratory convert the exudations of sour-sop and kindred 
aqueosities into liquids that, in taste, smell, and effect, closely 
resemble hock, sherry, claret, burgundy, and cognac. So 
perfect is the imitation that we would have taken them for 
such (although experience has not given us much knowledge 



1/6 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

of these things) had we not been on the AUiance, where the 
use of exhilarants is discouraged. They have been off cruis- 
ing, and may not have learned that Mrs. Hayes is no longer 
President of the White House. The recipe of the jovial 
ward-room officers of the Alliance is of little use in the civil- 
ized countries they visit, but out in Iowa it would possess 
great value. The demand for it among prohibitory poli- 
ticians, teetotal demagogues, and professional reform mendi- 
cants, showing their moral sores to the public, would be en- 
ormous. 

The breakfast passed off enjoyably. We were not at table 
more than three hours or so, no long speeches were tolerated, 
short and pithy remarks were in order, and came as thick as 
little bills on the first of January. Lieutenant Lasher sang 
" The Anchor's Weighed," and other sea-songs, with much 
tender effect, as did Paymaster McGowan, whose fine, pa- 
thetic tenor, particularly excellent in the artistic tremolo, 
blended mellifiuously with the clear, round baritone of our 
Commodore in that stirring old duet, " Larboard Watch, 
Ahoy ! " A funny story was told by Chief Engineer Kelly, 
who said that he was crossing the Atlantic once in a Cunar- 
der, the captain of which had taken with him a cabin-boy, 
the son of a poor clergyman who desired to have him 
brought up to sea service. One day the poor little fellow 
was writhing in the agonies of seasickness, when a burly 
saloon-steward came along, and, grasping him by the col- 
lar, exclaimed, " Get up out of that, ye lubber ; why ye 
h'eats, and ye drinks, and ye wommits just like a first-class 
passenger." 

Lieutenant Lasher is a native of Oswego, and was a 
schoolmate of Judge Bulger, some time before the last war 
with Great Britain. He manifested a great deal of interest 
in the Judge, and expressed the hope that he was re-elected, 



MARTINIQUE. 



177 



but as I had not heard from Utica since I left I could give 
him no information on this point. I gave it as my opinion, 
however, that, if a candidate, he was probably defeated, for 
one of the absurdities of the great American people is to 
say of a public officer whose capacity and efficiency have 
secured successive re-election that he has had the place long 
enough and it belongs to somebody else. The idea is that 
the administration of our public affairs should be passed 
around like the bread and water at a Mormon communion 
service. 

As a finale, " Blondy" 07](Tavp6<i rattled off the song which 
makes the rafters ring in Delmonico's banquet-hall on " Le- 
gion nights." The lusty chorus from the ward-room gave 
rise to some alarm lest the concussion should shake the oM 
rattle-trap ship to pieces and make her go down at anchor, 

THE LOYAL LEGIONIER. 



WRITTEN FOR THE NEW YORK COMMANDERY M. O. L. L. U. S. 



Lively. 



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Air — Son of a Gambolier. 



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Wlio 



178 



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THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 



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MARTINIQUE. 



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i8o 



THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 



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When this cruel war was over he laid down his canteen, 
And soon upon Fifth Avenue was daily to be seen, 
Arrayed in Devlin's stunning suits, he gaily did appear. 
And " maslied " tlie girls both left and right — this Loyal Legionier. 

C/iorus. 

He drives a dog-cart in the Park, he borrows from a friend — 
Though always on the borrow, he nothing has to lend — 
And when the ladies see hiin pass, they cry out. What a dear ! 
Quite fond of admiration is the Loyal Legionier. 

Chorus. 

He is deep in Fred De Bary's books, and Park & Tilford's too : 
He eats soft clams at Parker's ranche, at Dorlon's takes a stew ; 
His checks are in the Gilsey till, his notes are far and near ; 
He pays like Ancient Pistol, does the Loyal Legionier. 



Chorus. 



So piously he goes to church, and always enters late — 
He slides in after the Deacon has passed around the plate ; 
A pilgrim at the Brunswick shrine, he seeks the cafe rear, 
To "find a man " to worship with the Loyal Legionier. 



Chorus. 



Republican of Stalwart type, yet stanch Half Breed likewise ; 
He stands up for Old Tammany, with Irving Hall he lies ; 
The County Democratic bark he stoutly aids to steer — 
No hide-bound partisan is he, the Loyal Legionier. 



Chorus. 



MARTINIQUE. l8l 

His corns are cut by Madame Pray, his fingers manicured, 

His cheeks berouged are every day — thus is a blush secured ; 

His teeth are false, his moustache dyed, he squints with glass-eyed leer, 

His wig is jute, his scarf-pin " snide," this Loyal Legionier. ' 

Chorus. 

He takes a flyer in the street, and when he wins he pays ; 
If he happens to be short, he'll " settle one of these days," 
Should brokers for more margin call, he scorns the cry to hear. 
He's one of the boys fears no noise, this Loyal Legionier. 

Clioriis. 

At length, when all his cash is gone, and credit near run out, 
He joins the Prohibitionists, to rant and tear and shout ; 
He sings with Sankey, and with Moody reads his title clear, 
To Murphyize and sell wind pies, this Loyal Legionier. 

Chorus. 

When all his plants have run to seed, and cheek is found no go. 
He seeks a situation with great Barnum's moral show ; 
Or deep in Colorado's mines he ends his' bright career, 
Then all at last with him is ore, the Loyal Legionier. 

Chorus, 



CHAPTER XIV. 

SUNDAY IN MARTINIQUE. 

Tropical Fruits — A Full Day's Work Sunday — Vespers — The Club — The 
Opera — II Trovatore — A Midnight Visit — Reminiscence — Lily- 
Pansy — The Heart's Rain-drop. 

St. Pierre, March 23, 1884. 
The variety of fruits to which we pay attention at breakfast 
is extensive. I cannot remember the names of all we have 
tasted at different times — not a la mode de V Alliance , squeezed 
into a glass, but in their natural skins, as the Irish serve po- 
tatoes. This, I may remark in passing", is the true artistic 
style of cooking the potato ; boiled to the stage of meali- 
ness, and served with the jacket on, unbuttoned just enough 
to show the white shirt beneath. The following were some 
of the fruits tested : Orange, lemon, lime, banana, grape, 
musk-melon, fig, water-melon, date, pine-apple, sapadilla, 
mango, pomegranate, guava, sweet tamarind, shaddock, 
granadilla, alligator-pear, sour-sop, sugar-apple, star-apple, 
marmi, and custard-apple. 

Of these, it is hardly necessary to say, the orange is the 
best, the golden apple of Hesperides ; the next, according to 
my taste — always excepting the pine — is the mango, which 
is hard to eat because of its stringiness and immense core, 
but it it fine-flavored and juicy ; so much so that it is a com- 
mon saying that to eat mango one must roll up the sleeves 



SUNDAY IN MARTINIQUE. . 183 

and sit near a tub. The sapadilla is small and sweet, apple- 
shaped, with two large black seeds ; the custard-apple resem- 
bles in appearance the puffy light balls children play with, and 
the contents look like brains ; it is a delicious fruit, eaten by 
scooping out with a spoon. The avocada, or alligator-pear, 
makes an excellent salad ; the star-apple is palatable; but 
the guava, from which the jelly of commerce is made, is 
rather insipid. Uncle John remarked that it was like the 
bar-room of a country-tavern — full of " seeds." The shad- 
dock is an immense orange, with a more pronounced acid, 
leaving a slight bitter after-taste ; and the melons are not as 
good as ours. Indeed, none of the tropical fruits are equal 
in delicate flavor to the strawberry, peach, apple, and pear 
of the temperate zone. 

We went ashore this afternoon and attended vespers at 
the cathedral. The congregation was large, with the relative 
proportion of white and black in the population maintained ; 
or, if there was any disparity, the blacks had the advantage in 
percentage of worshipers. 

Upon invitation of Mr. Arnoux, we visited the Cercle or 
Club, which has a roomy house, with cool, stone floors, large, 
airy apartments, and an open court with a fountain. Nu- 
merous tables were occupied by gentlemen playing billiards, 
cards, and dominos, smoking and drinking. It is unusual to 
see the game of dominos played at our fashionable clubs ; 
that noble encounter of skill being consigned by our festive 
blue-bloods to the plebeian purlieus of lager ; but Uncle John, 
who is not imbued with absurd notions, saw in the favor ac- 
corded this noble game an evidence of intellectuality, which 
commended the Martiniquese to him as a community of ele- 
vated tastes and superior refinement. He declined to take a 
hand himself, for it was Sunday, and he retains certain scru- 
ples, implanted in childhood, and not entirely eradicated by 



l84 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

mature knowledge and the enlightement of travel abroad, but 
we could see his eyes glisten as he watched the combatants, 
and longed for an encounter with the Frenchmen, who would 
soon have become captive to his "bow and his spear had his 
Puritan blood permitted the desecration of the Sabbath day 
of Cotton Mather, David Dudley Field, and the Penal Code 
of New York. Among the officers whom we met here was 
a promising young lieutenant, who will make a mark in the 
naval profession if he can conquer the shrinking timidity and 
bashful reticence which must operate greatly to his disadvan- 
tage in this pushing, grasping world. In a verbal encounter 
with the Commodore, whose belt is garnished with many a 
tongue scalp, he came off triumphant. That young man has 
a future before him. 

This party of officers kindly presented us with tickets to 
the opera. We had some conscientious scruples about lis- 
tening to unsacred music Sunday night ; but the spirit of 
courtesy which animates the true gentleman and inspires him 
never to refuse to take something when asked, forced us to 
do violence to the feelings of the Young Men's Christian As- 
sociation. I hope that none of my friends, who post their 
books and write business letters furtively between the church 
services, or who peep out through the closed curtains to criticise 
their neighbors' new bonnets, or stab their reputations with 
cowardly innuendo, on the Holy Sabbath Day, will be scan- 
dalized by this admission. True, we went to the opera Sun- 
day night, but we offer the plea in abatement that we were 
away from home. We were like deacons from rural churches 
in New York City, who taste the iniquities incognito ; or 
teetotalers traveling in Europe, forced to drink wine because 
the water does not agree with them. A good many things 
may be done when one is away from home. Then everj'-- 
body goes to the Sunday opera at Martinique, but everybody 



SUNDAY IN MARTINIQUE. 1.8 5 

was not there this time. It is Lent, and some ascetics (igno- 
rant idolaters, worshipers of images ct id) denied themselves 
the pleasure during the penitential season. And I may re- 
mark parenthetically that many loyal souls view with alarm 
the increasing tendency to make Lent fashionable in New 
York, to use flowers at Easter, and indulge in other papis- 
teries ; machinations of the subtile Jesuits, intended to en- 
thrall the conscience, and bind the people, hand and foot, in 
the toils of superstition. I used to hear something like this 
twenty odd years ago, and as there is more reason for it now 
than there was then, I sound the alarm. Rally on the Sab- 
bath-school ! 

It was a motley and heterogeneous assemblage at the 
St. Pierre Opera House. Spectators going to the play, well- 
dressed ladies with their attendants ; negroes, men, women, 
and children ; peddlers, soldiers, policemen, and a variety of 
outsiders, jabbering and gesticulating, were gathered in the 
large elevated paved court, in front of the spacious building, 
reached by a flight of steps from the street. One had to 
shoulder a way through the crowd. A confusion of sound 
invaded \.h.Q foyer, through the open windows, and penetrated 
to the boxes when doors were opened to admit the air. 
Boxes were pretty well filled, but evidently not with the 
fashionables. Some of them were occupied by half-breeds, 
and there was a sprinkling of negroes. There was a large 
audience in the parquet and upper circles. The interior was 
dark, not altogether owing to the complexion of the audi- 
tors, but to the absence of gas. We are so accustomed to 
briUiant light at home that oil illumination seems inade- 
quate. I believe there is no gas used in the West In- 
dies, except at Kingston and Havana. A large chande- 
lier which lighted this theatre was let down between the acts 
to be trimmed. 



l86 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

We found that the opera, Verdi's " Le Trouvere," was to 
be preceded by a drama, " Le Medecin des Enfants," which, 
like all five-act French plays, was stupid and dreary. We 
could hear imperfectly and understood little, except M'sieu ! 
when one shoulder-shrugger was denounced by another fel- 
low, who was down on him for some cause that could not be 
ascertained until the end of the fifth act. We left early and 
started to return to the yacht, determined not to countenance 
Sabbath-breaking when we couldn't understand the play. 
Meeting some acquaintances outside, we reconsidered this 
pious resolve, and remained until the appearance of the 
Troubadour, passing the time meanwhile in promenading the 
foyer, admiring the exaggerated ear-rings of the oleaginous 
negresses who presided over the buffet ; with occasional ex- 
cursions to outlying wineshops, to see a man we expected to 
find there, and who didn't come. 

Here I might stop and moralize on the temptations that be- 
set the path of the righteous-minded, the pitfalls set by genial 
naval officers, and the allurements of Satan generally ; but I 
refrain. I will save my homily and give it to my friend the 
Doctor, for his next two hundred and fifth annual sermon to 
young men. 

About II o'clock, the curtain rose on the first act of " II 
Trovatore." The chorus singers were principally white (as 
the Alderman said, when asked by the Inspector of Election 
where he was born, "principally in Ireland"), with an ad- 
mixture of black, something like a bag of white beans with a 
few black ones thrown in. It was funny to see these colored 
chorus singers. Manrico vvas passable, with a robust voice ; 
Aziicena fair, and Eleanora^ with a good method, had seen 
better days on the stage ; the orchestra was poor, and the 
choruses fairly rendered. As the opera threatened to last un- 
til one or two o'clock in the morning, we left after the first 



SUNDAY IN MARTINIQUE. 1 8/ 

act. The outside crowd was still quite large as we jostled 
through. The dark mixture, with an occasional white dot, 
was loud-voiced, demonstrative, and appeared to strange 
eyes turbulent, but was really good-natured and well-behaved. 
There was no drunkenness. It was not at all like an Ameri- 
can crowd. 

As we sat on deck, smoking a ruminative cigar, some 
time afterward, a passing boat, which we hailed, proved to be 
the cutter of the Alliance, with some officers, returning to the 
ship, singing vociferously " The Loyal Legionier." They were 
promptly arrested for keeping open boat on Sunday, and 
taken aboard. After inflicting on them a few sacred songs, 
they were released on parole, and rowed away singing 
" Fare ye well, ladies, we're going to leave you now." As 
we had no ladies on board, they were probably serenading 
those we bear constantly in mind. We could hear the clear, 
reedy tenor of Paymaster McGowan, singing in the French 
vernacular Victor Hugo's exquisite Chantez, Dormez ; until 
the boat neared the Alliance — when discipline opened its 
mouth and swallowed melody. 

We remained on deck a short time after the officers left, 
to cool off before turning in, as is the habit, and watched the 
lights that glowed from the dark mountain-side. On the 
eminence gleamed two glaring range-lights, guiding the mar- 
iner to a safe anchorage. Directly underneath was a shrine 
of the Blessed Virgin, with a small lamp burning before it ; 
situated near a quaint old church, nearly in ruins, which we 
had seen by daylight. The lanterns of commerce, high- 
placed overhead, shone forth bold and confident, attracting 
attention from every quarter, while the light of faith twinkled 
tremulously in a recess below, requiring close scrutiny to be 
discernible. 

Uncle John, who did not go to the opera, said that if we 



1 88 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

had remained aboard we would have heard sweeter music 
in the cathedral chimes that came from shore, filling the ear 
melodiously, while the night breeze fanned the cheek, than 
we could find in the thumping crash of kettle-drum, and harsh 
blare of trumpet in the orchestra of a heated theatre. Uncle 
John believes in observing Sunday after the manner of his 
forefathers. 

Our sympathetic friend, who is keenly alive to soul-stir- 
ring influences, is right. There is something sweet and touch- 
ing in a strain of music, stealing gently over the water ; and 
what other sound so soothing and harmonious as the chime 
of church bells, soft, rhythmic, and sonorous, voicing upon 
the listening evening air the solemn tones of holy vesper 
prayer ! They sweep over the heartstrings with a touch that 
evokes the tenderest emotions. They roll away from the 
tomb the stone that hides most precious memories, which 
appear, to the introspective glance, revealed in the light of 
other days. 

I sit alone in the silent night, watching the sleepless glim- 
mer of the star-like guardian of the shrine, and thoughts of 
vanished years come sweeping by ; some flower-shod, gliding 
with light and airy step ; some weighed down by clogging 
care, stumbling, heavy and grief-laden. And it seems to me 
as if these were louder in the ear, and that the patter of joy's 
tripping footfall is but faintly heard amid the tramping echoes 
of dull-paced sorrow. 

Many bright threads are shot through the dark web of 
reminiscence. I think of many charming objects ; I think of 
the two sisters whose contrasted beauty caused them to be 
named endearingly by the flowers they resembled ; and the 
lines which convey the description of this double flower, occur 
to me as they dwell in my mind. 




/)i,^',itu|t^ " f> 



SUNDAY IN MARTINIQUE. 1 89 

Lily-Pansy. 

I love sweet Lily, lucent, fair, 

Serene, blue-eyed, with corn- silk hair, 
Teeth, seed-pearls white, peach-blow tinct cheek : 

Ought I another beauty seek ! 

I love sweet Lily ; Lily sweet. 

And yet I love sweet Pansy too, 

Though her clear eyes are gray, not blue. 

Her hair of deepest nut-brown shade — 
Dark-browed, dew-lipped, delicious maid ! 
I love sweet Pansy ; Pansy sweet. 

Can I love both alike, you ask ; 

To tell would be an endless task. 
Enough that round my soul entwined 

Sweet Lily-Pansy still I find. 

I love sweet Lily-Pansy sweet. 

Until for aye I sink to rest, 

I'll hug these flowers to my breast. 
Nor even Death's cold touch can part 

Sweet Lily-Pansy from my heart. 

I love sweet Lily-Pansy sweet. 

For when my spirit soars above, 

T'will bear this everlasting love, 
Enchrisomed for bright realms of bliss 

By pure, sweet Lily-Pansy kiss. 

I love sweet Lily-Pansy sweet. 

We have time for thought at sea, and must think whether 
we would or no, for we are without the usual employments 
which divert the mind from the march of brooding contem- 
plation. Thoughts come unbidden, like visitors to some 
temple, open to all, who throng the swinging portals in ever- 
shifting succession. Many are there that we would fain ex- 



IQO THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

elude ; many bearing burdens of disappointment, errors, 
blighted hopes and ambitions, which they lay at the door ; 
and none may enter without passing maimed regrets, mis- 
shapen projects, withered aspirations, and cripples of mis- 
spent time, begging the alms of charitable forgetfulness. It 
is hard to forget. Ah ! precious draught of nepenthe ! If 
we could but live our lives over ! If we could go back — sed 
nulla retrorsimi. Fortunately we have not the power of pres- 
cience or we would be plunged in a gulf of ever-present grief 
of anticipation. 

Musing with a distant object in view, one connects it in- 
sensibly with something in the past, which cannot be disso- 
ciated ; some thought that haunts with persistent recurrence. 
The twinkle of yonder taper before the shrine of holy mother- 
hood is reflected in the pool of memory as the vigil candle, 
shedding its blessed rays upon a face, beautiful in beatific 
repose, smiling in happy release from life's troublous journey ; 
one crossed hand of moulded whiteness holding the last 
tear-stained flower of earthly remembrance, the other — a stafiP 
and support in the path beyond the stars — grasping the Chris- 
tian emblem of salvation. 

But what is this ? A drop of rain upon my hand. Has 
a summer shower come up suddenly and unannounced ! I 
look above. There is no cloud in the twinkling midnight 
sky, not even a fleeting vapor to obscure the ethereal dome. 
It is an exhalation, drawn up from the fountain of the heart 
by the rays of reminiscent fancy, and, condensed in the cloud 
of sad memory, falling in crystal balm ; for it is a reminder 
of the well-beloved who remain. And so, good night ! 



CHAPTER XV. 

MUSICAL MUSINGS. 

Our Chum — Thoughts on Music — Ballads — Plagiarism — " Wearing of 
the Green" — "Sweet By and By"— " Aileen Aroon" vs. "Robin 
Adair "—" Nearer, My God, to Thee "—" Groves of Blarney"— 
"Home Sweet Home " — The Spanish Main — Gulf of Paria — Sunset. 

Port of Spain, Trinidad, March 26, 1884. 
We sailed from St. Pierre on the morning of the 24th, 
Such a firm friendship had been formed with the officers of 
the Alliance that we arranged to continue together as long 
as possible, and to this end the sailing orders of both vessels 
were conformed. The Alliance put to sea before the Mon- 
tauk, and soon became becalmed, but a light breeze favoring 
us, we were enabled in a short time to reach her vicinity, 
where in turn our sails flapped idly on the masts. The Alli- 
ance signaled a greeting, to which we responded with an invi- 
tation to come aboard, and in a few minutes Captain Reed 
and Lieutenants Rich and Gulick were alongside. While we 
were taking a cup of coffee in the saloon, a slight motion was 
felt, and Captain Reed, looking out of the companion-way, 
discovered that a breeze had sprung up. The yacht had con- 
siderable way on when the officers re-embarked in their gig, 
and they had a pretty long pull to their ship. We dipped 
our colors as a parting salute, and sailed away on the wave 
of answering recognition, with a cargo of recollections of 
pleasant days spent in the congenial companionship of gen- 



192 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

tlemen who gracefully maintain the high character borne by 
United States Naval officers everywhere. 

The Alliance was bound for St. Lucia, on the leeward 
side. We were to pass the island on the way to Trinidad, 
but Lieutenant Rich, navigator of the Alliance, advised us to 
go to windward, if we were able to beat up between the isl- 
ands. This we accomplished without difficulty. Sailing close- 
hauled on the wind is the Montauk's " best hold," as she has 
frequently demonstrated in racing contests. The wind fa- 
vored us and we reeled off the knots as deftly as our grand- 
mothers spun yarn on their busy wheels. The Alliance was 
soon astern. She is not a fast ship at best, and as the Navy 
Department will not permit coal to be consumed when wind 
can be employed, she had to use sail. Wind is cheap — ex- 
cept in Congress, where it is an enormous expense to the 
country. It would seem as if all the economy within the 
control of our Government was saved for the Navy ; and ad- 
ministered in large doses. While Captain Reed was paying 
his parting visit, the Commodore jocosely offered him a tow, 
which he refused. As the Alliance pleasantly declined our 
tow, we kindly showed her our heels. 

After leaving these jolly tars, the antiquated ditties which 
we sang together in our festivities still rang in my ears, and 
musing over them I was reminded of the change in taste that 
follows increasing wealth, luxury, and refinement, producing 
that musical culture which demands the more elaborate and 
pretentious examples of harmonic art. Masses, operas, and 
oratorios, works of great masters, are the highest develop- 
ment of artistic vocalization, but these require large cities 
and rich communities for their exemplification. But the bal- 
lad comes from the people ; the melody which survives all 
the rough treatment of the inartistic voice and inaccurate 
ear — which lives through generations — springs up without 



MUSICAL MUSINGS. 193 

cultivation. It is like the untutored warbling of the bird ; 
like the spring that flows spontaneously from the earth. 
Glees, madrigals, and choruses have their harmonized beauty, 
but the affecting strain is found in the simple ballad. It is 
an impulsive emotion, finding utterance through the medium 
of song, where words and melody seem fitted to each other 
indissolubly. Andrew Fletcher, of Saltoun, said, a couple of 
centuries ago, that he " knew a very wise man that believed 
that, if a man were permitted to make all the ballads, he need 
not care who should make the laws of a nation." 

Ballads do not come from prosperity ; they are not born 
amid the dazzle and glitter of wealth, the engrossments of 
searing success. They are often the sighs of heart-soreness, 
the wails of sorrow, outpourings of grief, the coinage of af- 
fliction, fused in the crucible of misfortune, stamped with the 
die of anguish. They give vent to the tenderest emotions ; 
they are frank and truthful ; in them may be traced the un- 
derlying character of a people. 

Ireland is pre-eminently the land of ballads. No other 
country has produced so many beautiful airs. No other land 
has suffered greater oppression. She has been struggling for 
centuries against a superior force, to which she has never 
yielded, and against which she will continue to struggle — in- 
effectually perhaps — so long as there is a drop of true Irish 
blood flowing in Irish veins. As the patriotic ballad has it : 

" Then if the color we must wear is England's cruel red, 

Sure Ireland's sons will ne'er forget the blood that they have shed. 
You may take the shamrock from your hat, and cast it on the sod, 
But 'twill take root and flourish still, though under foot 'tis trod. 
When the law can stop the blades of grass from growing as they grow, 
And when the leaves in summer-time their verdure dare not show. 
Then I will change the color I wear in my caubeen, 
But till that day, please God, I'll stick to the wearing of the green." 



194 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

One of the peculiarities of Irish music is the plaintive 
minor that runs through it, tinging even the jolly jigs, rol- 
licking reels, and heel-compelling strathspeys. Many of the 
most popular of our modern airs are adaptations of these 
melodies ; appropriated without credit, transformed and modi- 
fied ; oftentimes mutilated, for it is hard to improve on the 
originals, and almost any change is a disfigurement. 

An example of plagiarism (the failure to notice which, 
heretofore argues general ignorance of Irish music) is found 
in the popular Sunday-school hymn, " Sweet By and By ; " 
rather a nonsensical sort of composition so far as the words 
go, but pleasing and attractive in sound. It is taken from an 
old air, called " Sly Patrick," to which Moore wrote some 
verses, included in his collection of " Irish Melodies." The 
parody changes the notation and substitutes a strongly ac- 
centuated staccato for the flowing cantabile, 6-8 time, of 
the original. If you have a copy of " Moore's Melodies " 
with Sir John Stevenson's arrangement (my volume was pub- 
lished in Dublin, but I think there is an American edition), 
take the ballad, " Has Sorrow Thy Young Days Shaded," 
and play it staccato ; then play " Sweet By and By," slightly 
legato, and see if the theme is not the same, varied only in 
the effort to conceal the origin. 

This is the Irish melody : 



HAS SORROW THY YOUNG DAYS SHADED. 

K\^—Sly Patrick. 



MUSICAL MUSINGS 




shad - ed, As clouds o'er the morn-ing fleet ? . . . Too fast have those young days 



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196 



THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 



child of mis-for-tune, come hith-er, I'll weep with thee, tear for tear 




Has love to that soul, so tender, 

Been like our Lagenian mine, 
Where sparkles of golden splendor 

All over the surface shine. 
But if in pursuit we go deeper, 

All lured by the gleam that shone. 
Ah ! false as the dreams of the sleeper, 

Like Love, the bright ore is gone. 

Has Hope, like the bird in the story, 

That flitted from tree to tree 
With the talisman's glittering glory. 

Has Hope been that bird to thee ? 
On branch after branch alighting. 

The gem she did still display, 
And, when nearest and most inviting. 

Then waft the fair gem away. 



If thus the young hours have fleeted, 
When sorrow itself looked bright ; 

If thus the fair hope hath cheated, 
That led thee alonsf so light ; 



MUSICAL MUSINGS. 1 97 

If thus the cold world now wither 

Each feeling that once was dear — 
Come, child of misfortune, come hither, 

I weep with thee, tear for tear. 



Now contrast with these exquisite words the namby- 
pamby language of " Sweet By and By," which, like too 
many hymns in the ordinary church collections, is puerile : 
"There's a land that is fairer than day : turn ti tum. In the 
sweet by and by, tum-ti-tum, we will meet on that beautiful 
shore, tum-ti-tum ; in the swee-e-eet by and by, tum-ti-tum, 
we will meet on that beautiful shore, tum-ti-tum." 

Poor old Ireland ! She has not only been ravished by 
invaders, despoiled and oppressed in every way, but even 
her songs have been pilfered. The boldest of all thefts of 
this kind is the air known to the world as " Robin Adair." 
This is a larceny pure and simple. The original is "Aileen 
Aroon " {Eibhlin a ruin), a very ancient Irish melody. 
By the interpolation of three notes, and a flourish which 
might be introduced ad libiUim in any song, poor Aileen 
Aroon changes her sex and becomes Robin Adair. The 
arrangement is the same in both pieces ; the measure 
three-quarters time and the key two flats. By dividing the 
crotchet notes, f, g, and a, of the refrain into dotted quavers, 
which give it a halting, jerking motion, ungainly compared 
with the smooth movement of the original, the change 
is effected. In "Aileen Aroon," the refrain ascends in a 
gradual, natural crescendo, soft and mellifluous, while in 
" Robin Adair," the three excrescent notes detract from 
the symmetrical simplicity, which is the great charm of the 
original. 

This is the old Irish air, with Moore's words : 



198 



THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 



ERIN! THE TEAR AND THE SMILE IN THINE EYES. 



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200 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

Then the words of the old Irish lay are beautiful in the 
vernacular. I give three of the verses by Gerald Griffin : 

When like the early rose, 

Aileen aroon, 
Beauty in childhood glows, 

Aileen aroon. 
When like a diadem, 
Buds blush around the stem, 
Which is the fairest gem ? 

Aileen aroon. 

Is it the laughing eye ? 

Aileen aroon, 
Is it the timid sigh ? 

Aileen aroon. 
Is it the tender tone, 
Soft as the stringed harp's moan ? 
No ; it is Truth alone, 

■ Aileen aroon. 

Who in the song so sweet ? 

Aileen aroon, 
Who in the dance so fleet ? 

Aileen aroon. 
Dear are her charms to me, 
Dearer her laughter free. 
Dearest her constancy, 

Aileen aroon. 

Here is a specimen verse of " Robin Adair " i 

What makes th' Assembly shine ? 

Robin Adair, 
What makes the ball so fine ? 

Robin Adair. 
What when the play was o'er, 
What made my heart so sore ? 
Oh ! it was parting with 

Robin Adair. 



MUSICAL MUSINGS. 201 

It was bad enough to steal the music, but to clothe the 
air in such tawdry apparel as this was outrageous. 

The story told of the origin of the parody is this. The 
daughter of an English earl, riding in the country, was thrown 
from a carriage and had her leg broken. She was taken to 
an inn near the scene of the accident, and a physician was 
summoned, who happened to be an Irish doctor, named Robin 
Adair. He attended her until she recovered, and the peril 
of propinquity with handsome young Irishmen was attended 
with the usual result — she fell in love with the doctor. The 
rich young lady could not marry the poor physician, so the 
course of true love failed to run smooth, and they were forced 
to part. But during her illness the lady had often heard the 
doctor sing "Aileen Aroon " — which he had learned from his 
mother rocking his cradle — and the melody echoed in her 
constant heart, long after the seductive tones of the Irishman 
(who takes to love-making as naturally as a . duck to water) 
were silent to her ear. But I wish that the noble lady, who 
was doubtless a lovely woman like Bella Wilfer, had written 
some better lines when she appropriated this sweetest of mel- 
odies : which Handel said he would rather be the author of 
than of any of his masterly compositions. 

I once asked Patrick Sarsfield Gilmore, after Arbuckle had 
played "Robin Adair" with unequaled grace of rendition, 
why the great cornetist didn't play "Aileen Aroon," without 
the superfluous notes, which would sound much better, partic- 
ularly as the mute was used. I remonstrated with him for 
acquiescing in the musical robbery of his native land by ad- 
vertising the name of the spurious imitation instead of the 
genuine melody. Gilmore said that he felt the justice of the 
criticism, but it was useless to protest. " Robin Adair " had 
got into the head of the public, and the intruder could not be 
driven out ; the masses know so little about music. 



202 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

Then there is that fine old Scotch ballad, " John Anderson 
my Jo." This tune is plagiarized. It is the Irish drinking- 
song, " Cruiskeen Lawn," introduced with so much effect by 
Boucicault in the " Shaughraun," where it is sung to the har- 
monized arrangement of Jules Benedict. Sit down at the 
piano and play "John Anderson my Jo," then the " Cruis- 
keen Lawn," and see if they are not the same ! 

We have no American airs. Our soil doesn't grow music, 
and we are forced to import. We have transplanted " God 
Save the Queen," and rechristened it "America." This is 
sheer audacity and dishonesty. I have no patience with the 
Sabbath-school, public-building-dedication, and celebration 
business, where original lines are sung to the tune of " God 
Save the Queen," and the programme announces that the air 
is "America." There is no such tune (except Gilmore's). 
It is " God Save the Queen." Why not call it so ? Let us try 
to be honest in something. We can afford to be honest in 
music ; we don't deal in it to any great extent. 

It is well known, of course, that the " Star-spangled Ban- 
ner " was written by Key to the air of " Anacreon in Heaven ; " 
while "Yankee Doodle" goes back to the days of Oliver 
Cromwell, who was the original Doodle, satirized in the rhyme : 

Yankee Doodle came to town upon his little pony. 
Stuck a feather in his hat and called it macaroni. 

It may have been an unconscious plagiarism by Lowell 
Mason, but one cannot but be struck by the similarity of the 
air of the popular hymn, " Nearer, my God, to Thee," to 
Moore's melody, " Oft in the Stilly Night." 

There is nothing in music so effective as the ballad. One 
can hear the words as well as the air, and that is generally an 
inspiration. It is not made ; it grows. The delicious opera 
of " Martha," with its fine solos {a m' appari, for example), 



MUSICAL MUSINGS. 203 

harmonious duets, and massive choruses, affords an example of 
this superiority. Nothing in it can compare with the interjected 
Irish melody, " The Last Rose of Summer." It is worth all 
the rest, and Flotow himself thought so. The scene where 
Lady Harriet, holding the rose in hand, sings this gem of song, 
and is joined by Lionel^ who blends his voice with hers, making 
a duet finale, is the most effective in the opera. When sung 
in full chorus, too, the theme produces a grand effect. The air, 
however, is not " The Last Rose of Summer." Moore wrote 
these words to the tune of "The Groves of Blarney." Per- 
haps this affords a good illustration of the peculiarities of 
Irish ballad music ; the quick transition " from grave to gay, 
from lively to severe ; " the intermingling of pathos and 
mirth, of soulful tenderness and jestful laughter; the co-ex- 
istent smiling lip and weeping heart ; for this air, of unsur- 
,passed delicacy of expression and soft emotional feature, is a 
comic song. Here are some of the verses, written by Milli- 
ken: 

The Groves of Blarney, 

They look so charming, 

Down by the purlings 

Of sweet silent brooks, 

All decked by posies 

That spontaneous grow there, 

Planted in order 

In the rocky nooks. 

'Tis there the daisy, 

And the sweet carnation, 

The blooming pink, 

And the rose so fair ; 

Likewise the lily. 

And the daffodilly — 

All flowers that scent 

The sweet open air. 



204 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

Such walls surround her. 
That no nine-pounder 
Could ever plunder 
Her place of strength ; 
But Oliver Cromwell 
Her did pommel, 
And made a breach 
In her battlement. 

'Tis there the lake is 
Well stored with fishes, 
And comely eels in 
The verdant mud ; 
Besides the leeches, 
And groves of beeches, 
Standing in order 
To guard the flood. 

There is a stone there, 
That whoever kisses, 
Oh ! he never misses 
To grow eloquent ; 
'Tis he may clamber 
To a lady's chamber. 
Or become a member 
Of Parliament ; 
A clever spouter 
He'll turn out, or 
An out-an-outer, 
"To be let alone;" 
Don't hope to hinder him, 
Or to bewilder him. 
Sure he's a pilgrim 
From the Blarney Stone. 

Speaking of the proper name of this melody, I am re- 
minded of the argument I had with an intelligent army officer, 
of high rank, who insisted that the " Wearing of the Green" 



MUSICAL MUSINGS. 20$ 

was written to the West Point tune of " Benny Havens Oh ! " 
The modern words, first sung in this country by James Glenny 
in the play of " Arrah na Pogue," were written after Lieutenant 
O'Brien had composed "Benny Havens Oh ! " at West Point ; 
but the air itself is very old, and so is the song, which was a 
favorite rebel lay of the United Irishmen during the rebellion 
of 1798. 

And when I got to Paris, sure my lodgings I found chape, 
They knew I was United by the green upon my cape." 

It is the same air as " Irish Molly O," to which Thomas 
Davis, in 1848, wrote the song " The Green above the Red." 

Nothing appeals so strongly to popular favor as a simple 
and touching melody. Few knew that John Howard Payne 
was the author of several dramas of much literary merit, but 
all remember him as the author of" Home, Sweet Home." 
Yet the words themselves are commonplace ; thousands of 
better lines by unknown authors have appeared and attracted 
no attention. Payne heard an air in Sicily which caught his 
fancy, and he put some words to it, which made him famous. 
He did not compose the music, and the words have no poet- 
ical merit. It was simply his felicitous envelopment of the 
idea of home in a tender melody which made him renown. 

This tune, consecrated as it is to the altar of home, has a 
wonderful power over the sensibilities. It touches the very 
depth of emotion. Years ago, I was wandering, with aimless 
step, through the dark streets of an Italian city, one sultry 
summer night, enwrapped in that vague sense of depression 
that one is apt to feel in a strange land, alone and unknown, 
far from friends and acquaintances. As I sauntered into 
an obscure square, surrounded by houses of the prevalent 
gloomy style, frowning in the dim light, which cast no shadow, 
but brought out angles and projections in forbidding and 



206 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

menacing shapes, I saw an irradiation streaming through an 
open window, forcing a brilliant pathway through the clouded 
night for the music that came forth on it, measured and har- 
monious — " Home, Sweet Home," played as a duet on soft 
breathing flutes. At once the sombreness became illumi- 
nated with the radiance of recollection, and there was a 
choking sensation in the throat which made the eyes wink 
sympathetically. I stopped and lingered long near the trans- 
figured spot, where a strain of music obliterated the sur- 
roundings, and transported absorbed thought, on tuneful 
wings, backward, across wide lands and vast seas, to the early 
home thousands of miles away. My rapt gaze would not 
have been surprised had it encountered in the musicians the 
forms of flutists of my boyhood recollections, Fargo, Pratt, 
and Lines, who played at Mechanics' Hall concerts in the 
days when Utica was famous for its excellence in amateur 
music. 

Yet this air had been played and sung by Italian peas- 
ants long before Payne was born. But his words have be- 
come inextricably interwoven with the melody ; and while 
the strain without the words would be a beautiful air and 
nothing more, and the words dissociated would hardly be 
worthy to be styled poetry, the two united make a combi- 
nation of melody and sentiment which have a stronger hold 
on the feelings of the English-speaking peoples than any other 
song in the language. 

" Home, Sweet Home ! " and now the thought comes to 
me as I write — where is mine ? 

We weathered St. Lucia in fine style, passed St. Vincent 
in the distance, and made our course for Trinidad direct. 
After the success in getting to windward so easily, we re- 
gretted that we had not arranged to touch at Barbados, 
where there is more population to the square mile than in 



MUSICAL MUSINGS. 20/ 

any other country in the world, except China ; and where we 
could see the Cuffy of ancient days in all his glory. There 
the poor white trash is tolerated, but does not occupy the 
commanding position held in the land of the free and home 
of the brave, where all men are born free and equal, even if 
some fail to continue so. The famous Dignity Ball, over 
which Lady Jane Smith presides with queenly grace and 
despotic rule, is in itself worth a visit to this island, which is 
the most English and self-sufficient of the West Indian de- 
pendencies. It is said that, in aristocratic quality and emi- 
nently high tone, the shadeful Barbadian patriarch's balls 
excel the shadowy assemblages that, long ago, flickered on 
the white-washed wall of Pete Williams' saltatory temple in 
the Five Points of New York. 

About noon the day after sailing, we came in view of the 
high mountains of Trinidad. Far away to the west, dimly 
visible, were the cloud-capped peaks of a spur of the Cordil- 
leras, which sets through Venezuela to the coast. We were at 
length off the coast of South America, the scene of strangely 
mixed history and fable, of bloodshed and rapine — the ro- 
mantic Spanish Main. Here black-visaged pirates despoiled 
mighty galleons of their treasures of gold and silver, and sank 
the ships after making the unfortunate passengers walk the 
plank ; or made incursions ashore, ravaging the estates of 
rich planters, cutting the owners' throats, and carrying off 
the lovely daughters ; firing pistols at random, and flourish- 
ing cutlasses with indiscriminating recklessness ; committing 
^11 sorts of atrocities and raising the Old Scratch generally, to 
afford material for blood-curdling recitals that fill with hor- 
ror the minds of youthful readers absorbing the record of 
wonderful piratical adventures. Here are met the currents 
that flow from the many-mouthed Orinoco, through its delta, 
into the Gulf of Paria ; thence oceanward, offering obstruct- 



208 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

ive resistance to entrance through the Dragon's Mouth, 
where strong favoring winds are required to aid the sail in its 
passage. The mate of the yacht told us that he had once 
lain off with his vessel fifteen days before he could get in 
through this baffling barrier. A smaller and more direct pas- 
sage can be made through the Ape's Mouth, which is a nar- 
row channel between the Island of Trinidad and a mountain- 
ous isle called Monos, or Monkey, Island, but the current 
setting through might drive us on the rocks if the wind 
should give out, so we determined not to run the risk. The 
cliffs on both sides are high masses of rock, and although the 
water is deep enough up to their base, we concluded that the 
longest way around was sometimes the shortest way across, 
and accordingly sailed through the Boca del Dragon — the 
name given to this surly entrance by Columbus when he dis- 
covered Trinidad, and still retained. A small, queer-rigged 
vessel, with three leg-of-mutton sails, was hugging the shore 
of Monos, and as we entered the Dragon's Mouth, the skip- 
per hoisted his jigger sail and put after us, thinking, proba- 
bly, that as the wind was light he would have the advantage 
and lead us into port. But much to his astonishment, no 
doubt, the Montauk sailed along and left him far astern. He 
wasn't used to see a schooner moving in that style, for yachts 
are not often met in these waters. 

The sun sank behind the Venezuelan hills in a brilliant 
haze, and for the first time in weeks we saw a sunset by land. 
We had often watched him extinguishing his flaming torch 
in the sea wave, but disappearing behind the promontory of 
Paria in a golden glory was a reminder of the sunsets at 
home. There was no succeeding twilight, however, such as 
we have ; that rosy link binding daylight and darkness to- 
gether in the tender obscurity of the most perfect hour of the 
day in our favored region. Here is no hour like that deli- 



MUSICAL MUSINGS. 209 

cious time, for in this tropic clime night's dusky hand pulls 
down the shade as soon as sleepy Sol, tired with his daily 
round, has laid his head beneath the crimson hangings of his 
bed. 

At ten o'clock we dropped anchor in front of an array of 
lights, which, for aught we knew, might have been an illum- 
ination in honor of our arrival, but which we found this morn- 
ing were on the numerous vessels at anchor in the roadstead 
of the Port of Spain. And here we are at the island of Trin- 
idad, only six hundred miles from the equator. 
14 



CHAPTER XVL 

PORT OF SPAIN. 

Discovery of Trinidad — Busy Port of Spain — Race Types — Coolies — Political Ig- 
norance — Vulgarisms in Language — Botanical Gardens — An Impertinent Bird. 

Port of Spain^ Trinidad, March 28, 1884. 

Trinidad was discovered by Columbus during his third 
voyage. He sailed from the Cape Verd Islands, intending to 
reach the equinoctial line, but when in the fifth degree of lati- 
tude north, became becalmed in the torpidity which prevails 
in the region contiguous to the equator, known among sailors 
as the " Doldrums." Suffering greatly from the heat, which 
was so intense as to melt the tar and open the seams of his 
ships, causing them to leak, he was forced to seek a harbor 
as quickly as possible in order to repair damages. With this 
intention, he kept to the north and west, and, after much anx- 
ious sailing, sighted land on the 31st of July, 1498. He was 
reduced to great straits when the welcome land appeared. 
There was not more than one cask of water remaining in each 
ship. He had resolved to name the first land he beheld in 
honor of the Blessed Trinity, and as the triple summits of 
these mountains presented themselves he regarded the appear- 
ance as providential, and devoutly named the island La Trin- 
idad. From here he sailed to the Gulf of Paria, and along 
the coast of South America, which he supposed at first to be 
an island, not knowing that he had discovered the great 
Western Continent. Indeed he died without this knowledge. 



PORT OF SPAIN. 211 

Careful examination of the indications caused him to change 
his first opinion, and he came to the conclusion that this vast 
territory was an extension of the eastern Asiatic continent. 
The writings of scientific men predicated this opinion. It 
was based on the hypothesis, generally accepted by geog- 
raphers, that but one-seventh of the earth was water, and his 
erroneous judgment was natural in this view, particularly as 
it had the authority of a corroborative assertion in one of the 
books of the Old Testament. Geographical knowledge in those 
days was largely interwoven with fantastic speculations and 
ingenious theories spun from the imagination. 

Port of Spain presented a busy appearance when we came 
on deck the morning after arrival. Many sails were in the 
harbor, or roadstead, for such it is ; large steamers were lying 
at anchor, and the bustle and animation showed this to be a 
seaport town of some consequence. Before turning out, we 
could hear the negro laborers loading a vessel in the vicinity, 
singing shanty songs, which sounded not unmelodiously as the 
rude chorus, muffled in music-clothing indistinctness, shuffled 
down through the companion-way to our drowsy ears. 

The first duty upon going ashore was to telegraph notice 
of our arrival, so that an anxious and inquiring world might 
be informed at the earliest moment of our important where- 
abouts. There was a slight increase over the Martinique rate, 
four words to New York costing $11.76. Ice was bought 
at thirty dollars a ton, though two cents a pound is the usual 
price. Water was furnished aboard at a cent a gallon. I 
make this note of the cost of water, ice, and telegraphy, not 
because it is of any particular interest to you now, but for 
reference in case you should have a yacht built on the Erie 
Canal, and sail away in search of adventures, to form a pre- 
text for inconsiderate infliction of long letters on suffering 
friends. 



212 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

Two unsightly hulks are in the harbor, used as coal-yards. 
The fuelforsteamer use is a mixture of coal and pitch, pressed 
into square blocks, easily handled and stowed, and giving a 
strong heat. It comes from England. 

The population of the Port of Spain is a motley mixture 
of English, French, Spanish, Chinese, negro, and Hindoo, 
with an occasional Arab ; speaking a babel of tongues, a 
patois with a French-Spanish foundation predominating. I 
thought I could hear the lijigiia franca of the Mediterranean 
frequently. The Algerines are escaped convicts from the 
hulks of Cayenne, a refuge of sinners, convicted and uncon- 
victed, in French Guiana. They are villanous-looking repro- 
bates, who would not scruple to cut a throat for a dollar. 
The United States Consul informed us that they all want to 
go to America, but our Government forbids their immigra- 
tion. Therefore if any of them reach our shores, with a view 
to utilize their early rascal experience by engaging in railroad 
enterprises in Wall Street, they will have to be smuggled in 
as cigars or boxes of tin. 

Probably no port presents a greater variety of race types. 
It reminds one of Marseilles. The most novel to the traveler 
is the Hindoo coolie, with turban and two scant cotton gar- 
ments, just sufficient to comply with the demands of decency ; 
dark, silent, unsmiling, yet mild and amiable enough. The 
coolie women, becomingly draped, with abundant hair, reg- 
ular features, and flashing black eyes, are not uncomely. They 
wear much jewelry, many bracelets and bangles on the ankles, 
wrists and arms, sometimes extending above the elbow ; 
heavy ear-rings, and pendents in the nose, overhanging the 
lip. Osculation must be attended with some difficulty, as 
Uncle John remarked in his practical way. A strange orna- 
ment is a gold bead screwed into the nostril, just as a lady 
with us wears a jewel in the lobe of the ear. 



PORT OF SPAIN, 213 

These coolies are brought over from Hindostan, under 
governmental supervision. The Indian Government watches 
their embarkation to prevent the degeneration of this emigrant 
system into a slave-trade, which it might become if not 
properly guarded. On their arrival, the coolies are indentured 
for five years to planters who desire to employ them, at a 
specified sum, payable part in cash and part in rations. It is 
a sort of servile condition, but not slavery ; indeed, the in- 
dentured apprentice to a master-mechanic formerly held in 
the United States an analogous relation to his employer. At 
the end of five years, the coolie is free to do as he pleases, 
either to reindenture himself, for not more than a year — the 
maximum period permitted — or to seek employment else- 
where. After ten years' residence, he is entitled to a free 
passage back to Hindostan. Many avail themselves of the 
privilege, others exchange it for a Government grant of ten 
acres of land, which is the equivalent right. The coolies are 
frugal, temperate, and economical. They accumulate their 
savings during the period of indentment, and subsequent 
voluntary employment, which become comparatively large 
sums in Hindostan, when they return. Unfortunately, the 
coolies are not Christians, or they might be regarded as good 
citizens. They never get drunk ; nor do they steal ; they are 
quiet and orderly ; chaste and devoted to their families. But 
they know nothing of the Board of Domestic Missions, and 
never contributed a penny to societies for the support of re- 
pentant sinners, who, after squandering all their own money 
in debauchery, reform, with blatant protestation, and live 
joyfully upon the alms of the ninety and nine which need no 
repentance. These well-behaved pagans are steeped in pro- 
foundest ignorance of politics. Uncle John asked an aged 
and venerable Hindoo, becomingly arrayed about his loins 
with a suggestion of small pocket-handkerchief, if he knew 



214 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

who was elected Mayor of Utica, a few weeks ago. He pre- 
tended not to understand ; but I have a shrewd notion that 
he may have been some conspirator of high caste engaged in 
an independent citizen's movement, which he did not want 
to give away, as the slang saying goes. I may have done 
him injustice ; it is possible that he was not trying to hood- 
wink Uncle John, but I am always suspicious of the indepen- 
dent citizens' movement, which is ordinarily a delusion and a 
snare. I was myself ignorant of the result of that important 
event, the charter election in the nucleus of politics, where 
sage statesmen sit oracularly enwrapped, but I could get no 
information, though I inquired of the boatmen in every port. 
Think of one being in a benighted country where nobody 
knows who is Mayor of Utica ! Yet when one comes to think 
of it, that is often a problem with the constituency that elect- 
ed the incumbent. 

Despairing of getting political information from the heathen 
coolie, I asked a heathen Chinee if he were personally ac- 
quainted with any of the renowned leaders of the American 
people — Thomas F. Bayard, Henry Ward Beecher, L. E. 
Pinkham, John Kelly, or Warner Zafeguer. He listened 
unmoved. Evidently I made no impression on John China- 
man. He didn't understand English. That may have been 
the reason. I then tackled a negro on the dock, who listened 
because he thought I wanted to hire a boat when I spoke of 
water. I asked him, in my blandest, First-Ward-caucus 
manner, what he thought of the chemical analysis of the 
limpid flood of dusky West Canada Creek; whether in his 
opinion the organic matter was present in deleterious propor- 
tion ; whether rocky comminution would injure the quality 
of picnic lemonade ; whether the Hinckley's Mills exuviae 
impregnated the stream to an appreciable infusion ; whether 
— but he interrupted me before I could complete the Civil 



PORT OF SPAIN, 215 

Service examination, and said, " Don't know nuthin' about it, 
Cap ; I drinks rum." 

The Cimmerian ignorance of this parti-colored people is 
lamentable. I presume a large proportion of the variegated 
population doesn't even know whether the Roosevelt bill has 
passed ; and take no interest in the great contest between 
Mayor Edson and Commissioner Asten about the salary of a 
clerk in the Tax Ofhce, which shakes Johnny O'Brien's parish 
to its centre. I thought I saw a man who looked as if he 
were in favor of Tecumseh for President. He was a Carib 
Indian. He may have been a descendant of the King of the 
Cannibal Islands. I had a notion to ask him some questions 
about Robinson Crusoe, and how he kept Good Friday on the 
neighboring island of Tabago, but refrained, from prudential 
motives, not entirely disconnected with the integrity of my 
cuticle. I wanted to inquire if his name were Hokey-Pokey- 
Winkey-Wang, but he had a wicked look in his eye, and 
I have grown stout during this voyage, and feared to run the 
risk of conversion into an Irish stew, such as the Coroner 
sings about, in " The Regular Army, Oh ! " 

The coolie system is the substitution of free labor under 
indenture for the abolished slavery, and it would seem to 
work well. Something of the kind was necessary to insure 
the cultivation of the land, for the negro will not work if he 
can avoid it, while whites cannot labor in the cornfields. I 
was told in Cuba some years ago that white labor was em- 
ployed there successfully, but I doubt if it can be utilized to 
any considerable extent. 

A good many Chinese are to be seen in Trinidad, who are 
peaceable and harmless, minding their own business in un- 
puritanical fashion. The negroes are insolent and unpleasant 
persons to deal with. As a rule, the negro women are gross, 
ungainly, and repulsive. The boatmen are a truculent lot, 



2l6 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

nearly as bad as the ill-mannered " cabbies" of London. The 
population is about ten per cent, white. Drinking resorts 
are numerous, but we saw no evidence of drunkenness. 
Uncle John claims that he saw a sign, " International Drunk- 
ery." Doubtless the proprietor wanted to show that he was 
no bigot, with race prejudices, but was willing to sell his 
fluids to anybody who would pay. They call things by their 
right names here, as is the English habit. What is described 
in the advertisement as a grog-shop, would be a saloon or 
sample-room with us, while the cook-shop, with our fondness 
for high-sounding words, would be a restaurant. The Eng- 
lish draper is with us a dry-goods merchant ; the railway 
station is a depot ; the shop, a store ; the engine driver be- 
comes a locomotive engineer, and the lift is an elevator. But 
we understand English better than the English themselves ; 
at least I have seen it so stated in the newspapers. 

Americans habitually exhibit vagaries in language, which 
may be attributed in some measure to the slovenliness of 
hasty newspaper writing, and the carelessness of superficial 
readers, who undervalue the salubrity of draughts from "the 
well of English undefiled," and insensibly acquire the cor- 
ruptions of inaccurate expression. Eternal vigilance is the 
price of good English. With us, women are ladies, while 
men are mere men. Thus we read in advertisements that 
salesmen are called for, but the fair employees of the store ! 
resent the appellation of woman (which the Saviour of Man- 
kind used) and exact the designation of lady. They are 
salesladies. Ridiculous ! If salesmen, why not saleswomen ? 
Think of changing the wording of Holy Writ and making the 
angelical salutation read, Hail, full of grace ! Blessed are 
thou among — ladies ! 

Then the vulgarism of " gents ; " although this is rare. 
" Help," as the comprehensive synonym for servants, is not 



PORT OF SPAIN. 217 

often heard now, except among the uneducated, and the aged, 
who retain the traditions of the ignorant period from which 
we are beginning to emerge. But everywhere we hear the 
insufferable abbreviation of " pants " for pantaloons. Abbre- 
viated pantaloons are breeches. Then it is not a solid Eng- 
lish word, but an Italian derivative, and although the use of 
pantaloons is permissible, the cutting short is reprehensible. 
Trousers is the correct word. I have seen in Broadway signs 
reading, " Gent's pants and vests," descriptive of men's trou- 
sers and waistcoats. In English mercantile nomenclature, 
the articles known as pants and vests are of the feminine 
gender. Let Joan have the pants then, but permit Darby to 
wear his own trousers. 

Another vulgarism, which is a concession to American 
pruriency of thought, styles a game-cock a fighting rooster. 
A cock is a cock and a hen is a hen, and both are roosters. 
Think of changing a common proverbial expression and 
speaking of "the * rooster ' of the walk." Or reading in the 
Bible, when Peter denied his Lord, " the rooster crew." The 
refinement of prurient vulgarity is reached by fastidious la- 
dies who fear to employ the term "legs," and use limbs 
instead. I make it a rule when I hear one speaking of limbs, 
to ask, " which limb, Madam, the arm or the leg ? " 

Having descended into a verbal limbo, I will remain hid- 
den from the indignant sight of salesladies, gents, roosters, 
and help. 

We had read in the guide-books glowing accounts of the 
beauty of Port of Spain, its broad avenues and shady trees, 
but I failed to see its attractions. The Marine Square has 
fine trees, among them some stately Palmistes, but the only 
moist thing about it is the fountain, all the surroundings 
being dry and dusty. Near this Square is the Catholic 
Cathedral, the most imposing building in the place. The 



2l8 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

population of Trinidad is about seventy per cent. Catholic. 
There is nothing inviting about the buildings or streets. The 
scavengers are the unsightly turkey-buzzards, such as one 
sees in Charleston and Savannah, called here the corbeau, or 
vulture. Through the considerate kindness of Mr. Towler, 
United States Consul (an English gentleman who, by the 
way, resided for many years in Geneva, and is a friend of 
Judge Folger), we were granted the privileges of the Union 
Club during our stay. It occupies temporarjT* quarters until 
a new house can be built, the former club-house having been 
burned recently, under circumstances that give color to the 
suspicion that one of the members sleeping there was robbed 
and murdered, and the building fired to hide the crime. The 
Colonial Club also sent cards, but we had no opportunity to 
avail ourselves of the privileges extended. 

An attractive feature of Port of Spain is the pleasure 
ground, open to the public, called the Botanical Garden, sur- 
rounding the residence of the Governor in the environs. The 
terminus of the tramway is but a short walk from the entrance 
to these grounds, which are handsomely laid out, flowers oc- 
cupying the space in front, while in the rear are shady walks 
winding through specimens of luxuriant tropical vegetation. 
The show of flowers is not remarkable for variety, but there 
is an abundance of plants and trees, banana, orange, pineapple, 
bamboo, cabbage-palm, giant locust, and — especially beau- 
tiful from its dentate leaf — the fern-palm. These arborous 
paths are not without attractiveness, but in the oppressive 
hot air one contrasts them with the pine-cone carpets of nor- 
thern woods, with the soft murmurs of cascading waters 
sweeping coolly through the fragrant aisles, while the robin 
carols in the leafy choir overhead — and looks forward longing 
for the time when he can exchange this languid breath of 
the enervating tropics for the exhilarating ozone of. the tern- 



PORT OF SPAIN. 219 

perate clime, dispensed by my numismatic friend, Michael 
Moore. 

There is but one singing bird here, which put an imperti- 
nent question to us as we neared the gardens. I asked a ne- 
gro, who was watering his horse at a fountain outside, what 
was the name of the bird. His answer sounded like chick- 
adedee, but in a moment, by listening closely, I found that 
the bird song was the French, Qiiest-ce qti'il dit, which, as 
you know, is pronounced, with clipped sound, " Kesskedee." 
The imitation of this interrogatory is perfect. Uncle John 
was relating at the time how 29 Hose saved Mayor Opdyke's 
house from the mob in 1863, and I called his attention to the 
question put by the bird, which might be construed into the 
fashionable slang, What are you giving us ? but he declined 
to answer, saying that it was none of the foreign bird's busi- 
ness. Besides, he couldn't answer it in its own tongue, as he 
had left all his French behind in Rue St. Hyacinthe, Marche 
St. Honore, with a cocker who wasn't satisfied with a h.dX(- 
ix'A.KiC pourboire because he was an American, and was, there- 
fore, expected to be generously vulgar in ostentatious gratu- 
ities. I then suggested that the Commodore might answer, 
as he has a voice of peculiar softness, gurgling and bird-like. 
He essayed one of his favorite quotations from Longfellow, 
and the birds were silent. That settled them. The inquisi- 
tive Qu'est-ce qiiil dits heard enough. 



CHAPTER XVII. 



TRINIDAD. 



Singing-birds — Taxidermy — Metempsychosis — " Keb, Sir ! " — Piratical 
Attaclc — Button-hole Oratory — French Courtesy — Pitch Lake — 
Asphalt — Flying Oysters — Future of Trinidad. 

Port of Spain, March 28, 1884. 

Few singing birds are found in the tropics. There is a law 
now against bird shooting, which will protect some of the 
fine feathers, but there were never many voices to slay. The 
fashion ^f wearing birds in bonnets has resulted in great 
havoc among the gay-plumed, particularly humming-birds. 
Still I suppose sparrows, chickens, ducks, geese, turkeys, and 
dye-stuffs supply many of the handsome South American 
birds the ladies wear. At the photographer's, where we 
bought some views, was a case containing birds, fishes, and 
reptiles, found here and in neighboring Venezuela. The 
tarantula and centipede were among them. The taran- 
tula is a large, hairy, loathsome spider, venomous but not 
necessarily fatal ; while the bite of the centipede is sure death 
unless an antidote is administered in good season. The 
specimen in this collection was about nine inches long ; a dis- 
gusting object, appropriate encasement of a venomous dispo- 
sition. If nature, had arranged that the slanderous tongue of 
man should be sheathed in like characteristic indication of 
disposition, we would know better what malignant two-legged 
reptiles to avoid ; what to crush when they crossed our path. 



TRINIDAD. 221 

In the case were many elegant birds, prepared for sale. 
One, a light blue and white, was especially attractive from its 
delicate shape and cerulean color ; a sort of embodiment of 
the idea of virginal purity. There was a number of sheeny 
throated humming-birds, and looking at these beauteous 
mummies in the sarcophagus of the taxidermist, I could not 
but regret the prevalence of a fashion that involved the kill- 
ing of these flashing jewels of the air. The aboriginals for- 
bade the slaughter of the innocents, for they believed that, in 
the transmigration of souls, departed Indians returned in 
them ; materialized spirits revisiting the place of their early 
sojourn. I fully sympathized with this poetic superstition 
when I saw the glossy atoms of feathered symmetry, stuck 
on wires in a dealer's show-case, in juxtaposition with stuffed 
snakes and lizards, and bottled tarantulas, scorpions, and cen- 
tipedes. It was trading in sublimated beauty, prostituting 
ethereality to sordid earthliness. I inveighed with eloquent 
fervor against the whims of fashion, which tore these pretty 
birds from Parian groves, where they dwelt unseen save 
by the infrequent hunter, to perch admired in the head- 
gear of some pretty girl, promenading Fifth Avenue, with 
face as radiant as the shining plume in her jaunty hat. I 
lauded feelingly the Indian metempsychosis, and bewailed 
the sacrificial hard-heartedness of modish millinery ; then — I 
bought the birds. I know some fair brows that will adorn 
harmoniously these lustrous pinions ; some masses of sunny 
hair in which the transmigrating humming-birds would choose 
to nestle, had they the power to select their place of abode 
in the future state. 

To use a common expression, I don't take much stock in 
the tropical flowers. They are gaudy and flaring, and lack 
the indescribable tenderness of our buds and blossoms. The 
roses are large and luxuriant, but they seem blowsy com- 



222 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

pared with" the moist delicacy of our northern product. Nor 
do we see the pure white Hhes and violets, which would 
wither in the consuming breath of this heated atmosphere. 
-In my view, there is more beauty in a modest little pansy- 
bed at home, than in all the glaring gorgeousness of tropic 
flowers. 

Coming out of the garden, we met the sailing-master on 
the lookout for strange sights. He had heard wonderful 
snake stories ; among other things was told that hereabouts 
a serpent had swallowed a man. Uncle John told him that 
it was more likely the man had swallowed a snake — at the in- 
ternational drunkery. We saw no snakes. There may have 
been some about, but we were not fishing for snakes that 
day. A three-mile track race-course adjoins the Botanical 
Gardens. The enclosure held a large number of cattle feed- 
ing. We were told that it was a common pasturage for the 
public use. 

When we reached the dock to embark, there was a large 
crowd gathered, not in honor of the New York Yacht Club, 
but the Royal Mail steamer was about to sail for Southamp- 
ton, carrying a distinguished passenger in the person of the 
Governor, who was off for six months, thus avoiding the hot 
weather and September hurricanes. Had he known of our 
intended arrival, he might have postponed his departure un- 
til the next steamer, for it is hardly possible that any con- 
sideration except the most urgent business would have pre- 
vented him from embracing an opportunity to test the virtues 
of James' pills. The passengers for the steamer, anchored 
far out, were conveyed in small boats by the rude boatmen, 
who were clamorous with harsh solicitation. It was not as 
noisy, however, as the Grand Central station at Forty-second 
Street, on the arrival of an express train, when the welcom- 
ing assemblage is shouting an invitation to Mr. " Keb, sir," 



TRINIDAD. 223 

to take a ride. The negro is often turbulent and unruly. At 
the village of San Fernando, up in the mountains, there was 
a serious riot last month. They revolted against the pro- 
hibition to carry torches in the carnival season ; the military 
and police were called in, and the emeute caused the loss of 
several lives. 

A quartermaster had in his possession, when we returned, 
a small shovel-nosed shark with the peculiar shaped snout of 
the species. I asked him how he picked up the fish, when 
Uncle John interpolated, " Why ! with a pair of tongs, of 
course; shure the shovel and tongs to aich other belongs." 
Uncle John is a grate joker. It is a coal day when he gets 
left. 

In the evening, as we sat on deck smoking, we were 
boarded by a pirate. A long, low, black piratical-looking craft 
appeared on the starboard bow, and a negro jumped aboard 
and seated himself on the anchor, or rather anchored himself 
on the seat. It seems that he was a mutineer who had en- 
gaged in an altercation with the captain of a coal-lighter — 
which the strange vessel proved to be — and sought sanctuary 
on the yacht deck to evade condign punishment. A wordy 
argument ensued, and as there appeared to be no prospect 
of a cessation of hostilities, he dared not return to the deck 
of the collier, but, as it floated off, sprang overboard from 
the anchorage, and swam to the rudder of the lighter, which 
he clutched, still maintaining the argument with the skipper. 
They did not come to terms, for we could hear the contest 
prolonged in the dark distance, the coal-black rudder-bar- 
nacle interspersing expostulations with loud cries of " Po- 
lice ! " No policeman answered (he never does, according to 
popular belief), but it is probable there were no lives lost. 
Too much talk for that. 

Another adventure of a more pacific nature was met the 



224 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

same night. The Commodore had gone aloft (in a deck easy- 
chair) to count the stars after Uncle John and I, who keep 
good hours, had endued our night-caps. A boat, rowed by 
two wandering minstrels singing " Old Folks at Home," 
approached, and the Commodore, taking the song for a sere- 
nade to his guests, who are never so much at home as when 
in bed, invited the gondoliers to come aboard. He extended 
to them the hospitable entertainment for which the Montauk 
is famed, and talked to them for a few hours in the saloon, 
while we remained churlishly in our state-rooms. At length 
they escaped, but evidently in a weary state, for their sing- 
ing after they left sounded faint and demoralized. They 
were two agreeable gentlemen, and it is to be hoped that no 
permanent bad effect followed their visit. Uncle John insists 
that they will be affected with deafness ; but this is sheer 
envy. Even the most generous and magnanimous nature 
has a taint of weakness. Uncle John's frailty is jealousy of 
the Commodore's superior powers of button-hole oratory. 

A French man-of-war, an armor-plated ram, anchored in 
the harbor, afforded an opportunity for a pleasant inter- 
change of courtesies. It is customary for vessels in port to 
hoist colors at 8 o'clock in the morning, and lower them at 
sunset. Yachts take the time for colors from an American 
man-of-war, when present, and we applied the rule here to 
the Frenchman, regarding him as an American for the nonce. 
Thus, the evening after our arrival, we waited until the 
French colors were lowered, when ours came down simulta- 
neously. The next morning at 8 o'clock, the Quartermaster 
stood ready, halliards in hand, to hoist colors with the 
Frenchman, but none went up. After waiting some little 
time, the American colors were hoisted on the yacht, when 
at the same instant the French colors fluttered in the breeze. 
This was repeated every day while in port ; we took colors 



TRINIDAD. 225 

from the French vessel, and he from us, alternately. He 
took off his hat to us — a mile distant — in the morning, and we 
doffed ours to him in the evening. It recalled the story of 
Fontenoy, when, as the antagonistic forces approached, the 
commander of the English Guards, removing his chapeau, 
said, " Gentlemen of the French Guard, fire ! " To whom his 
chivalrous enemy replied, " The French Guard never fires 
first ; " whereupon the EngHsh delivered their volley. The 
days of chivalry are past, but French courtesy still exists. 

A small steamer runs from Port of Spain to La Brea, 
forty miles distant, situation of the famous pitch-lake, which 
contains an inexhaustible supply of asphalt. This wonderful 
bituminous sheet has an area of nearly one hundred acres, 
between elevations close to the hill-top. It is a broad sur- 
face of pitch, seamed with small channels of water. The 
pitch is dug from the hardened top, and the quantity taken 
away is constantly replenished by the soft asphalt oozing up 
from below, which becomes hardened by the evaporation of 
its constituent oil in the sun. Night supplies the exhaustion 
of day. The method of skimming the great bowl may be il- 
lustrated by comparing it to a pond, from which blocks of ice 
have been cut, and the water solidified again by the action of 
frost ; the difference being that heat is the agent in one case 
and cold in the other. Some power below constantly forces 
the asphalt to the surface — perhaps nature uses a tuning-fork 
to keep up the pitch. 

It was supposed formerly that the deposit was subject to 
volcanic action, but recent investigation disproves this theory. 
The accumulation is simply vegetable matter, which, in the 
process of degeneration, becomes melted by the hot tropical 
soil into mineral pitch and asphalt, instead of being trans- 
formed, by hardening influences, into peat and coal, as it 
would be in Ireland or Pennsylvania. Asphalt is sometimes 
IS 



226 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

called Jew's-pitch. I don't know why. Perhaps the blind 
bigotry which consigns the Hebrew to the bottomless pit has 
something to do with this designation. 

Trinidad asphalt has become an important article of com- 
merce. It is largely used in the unequaled pavements of 
Paris. The patch on Fifth Avenue, near the Worth monu- 
ment, the best bit of pavement ever laid in New York City, 
is of this material. 

In 1595 Sir Walter Raleigh, in search of El Dorado, 
touched at La Brea, en route to the mythical territory, and 
calked his ships v/ith the pitch found here, declaring it to be 
superior to that of Norway. He had some fighting with the 
Spaniards in possession, in which he held the advantage, but 
didn't remain long on the island, for he would not be di- 
verted from his pursuit of gold. There is a savor of romance 
about this malodorous pitch when we connect it with Sir 
Walter Raleigh, the handsome soldier, poet, historian, in- 
trepid adventurer, the accomplished courtier and favorite of 
Queen Elizabeth. Better for Raleigh that he had thrown his 
cloak over a fissure in the steaming lake of La Brea, than in 
the puddle to save the silken shoon of the virgin Queen from 
being soiled. Good Queen Bess, albeit she did some heavy 
work in the cause of religion, roasting papists and noncon- 
formists at Smithfield, was a pretty hard character ; in her 
jeweled stomacher, embroidered farthingale, and voluminous 
ruff. She is always represented with a great ruff in the con- 
temporaneous portraits. Certainly she was the female rough 
of the period ; and was hard on poor Raleigh, who died un- 
daunted in the bloody Tower of London, writing on the wall 
of his cell, the night before execution, this couplet to the 
snuff of his candle : 

Cowards fear to die ; but courage stout. 
Rather than live in snuff, will be put out. 



TRINIDAD. 227 

Trinidad was Spanish until 1796, when Spain declared 
war against England, and great naval battles were fought in 
West Indian waters, between English, French, Spanish, and 
Dutch fleets. The following year, Admirals Hussey and 
Abercrombie sailed through the Boca del Dragon and ap- 
peared near Port of Spain, with twenty men-of-war and a 
large array of soldiers. The Spanish Admiral, Apodoca, 
cooped up with but four frigates, finding resistance useless, 
burned his ships and fled to the Spanish Main. Chacon, the 
brave and noble Governor of Trinidad, capitulated ; and so 
Trinidad passed under English rule, where it has remained 
ever since ; and is likely to unless O'Donovan Rossa should 
put dynamite in the coffee of the Governor some fine morn- 
ing. 

The oysters growing on trees, which Columbus found, 
transmitted that pernicious habit to the descendant and pen- 
dent bivalves of the present day. The roots of the mangrove 
extend into the water, and to these the oysters cling, to be 
plucked like fruit. They are not good, but small and cop- 
pery, like the oysters I tasted in Naples, O'Neil would laugh 
at them. But where do we find good oysters outside of the 
United States ? Not even the vaunted " native " of Carling- 
ford, the famed " poldoodies of Burran," can approach in 
savory succulence the New York oyster. Uncle John said 
that this must be a queer country, where the oysters keep 
lean, flying around, roosting on trees, instead of lying quietly 
in their beds, to get fat, like Captain Joe Elsworth's in Prince's 
Bay. 

We had no mosquitoes aboard. We were anchored too 
far from shore for them to reach us with their little bills. 
Then they may have thought it a waste of time to attack 
those who had passed the ordeal of the New Brunswick 
" skeeter," nourished in the classic shades of Rutgers, with 



228 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

commendable animosity toward full-blooded followers of the 
Pope. The Trinidad knight-errant would lose his laurels in 
abortive emulation. Besides he doesn't sing. Dr. DeWolf 
told us, however, that although a small insect, he has a fine, 
silent touch in surgery, which can be felt if not heard. Still, 
without an appalling bugle, the mosquito is robbed of half his 
terrors. His sound is like artillery ; it frightens more than it 
hurts. 

Port of Spain is destined to become a place of great com- 
mercial consequence ; the most important, perhaps, of all the 
West Indian ports, except Havana. Trinidad is rich in pro- 
ducts. The principal exports are sugar, cocoa, and pitch. 
They are now cultivating coffee extensively, and have for the 
first time more than enough for home consumption. A com- 
plete revolution has been established in the manufacture of 
sugar. Formerly the raw material was shipped to New York 
and elsewhere to be refined ; now, by the modern appliances, 
it is prepared completely for the market at the usines. I 
can remember when quantities of sugar-canes were brought 
to New York, and chewing cane was a favorite refreshment 
of the street boys. Sugar was ground in the mills, then com- 
mon. But all this has changed, and the prosperous days of 
sugar-refineries of the ordinary grades, remote from the plan- 
tations, are numbered. We regretted that time did not per- 
mit us to accept the invitation of Mr. Agastini, one of the 
most influential men in Trinidad, to spend a few days on his 
extensive estate, where we might have witnessed the produc- 
tion of sugar on the largest scale. 

The proximity of Trinidad to Venezuela, to which a line 
of steamers runs, gives it a great advantage in the South 
American trade, and its fertility and large territory, with in- 
creasing products, will in time place it in a commanding po- 
sition in the tropics. 



CHAPTER XVIII. 

THROUGH THE CARIBBEAN SEA. 

Salutamus — A Corkonian Gaul — The Dragon's Mouth — Columbus — An 
Apology — The Trade-winds — Navigation — Dead-reckoning — A 
Timely Warning — Old Fogies — A Tender Hour — The Same Old 
Moon — Serenade — Uncle John Romantic — Gammon. 

On Board Montauk, at Sea, 
Lat. 12° 44' N., Long. 67° 18' W., March 31, 1884. 

We left Port of Spain on the morning of March 29th, with 
a Hght breeze that sent us along gently, in an easy, graceful, 
deliberate, and dignified manner becoming a yacht of elegant 
leisure ; not rushing out of port with the hurried fussiness of 
the busy trader compelled to work for a living. Our course was 
varied slightly to enable us to pass around the French man- 
of-war at anchor in the roadstead, with whom we exchanged 
salutes. Recollections of Rochambeau fluttered in the folds 
of our dipping ensign ; the national flag that France helped 
us to raise over surrendered Yorktown. 

We doffed our caps to the officers gathered on her quarter- 
deck, and the responsive recognition was watched with great 
interest by Uncle John, who was anxious to learn the latest 
French style of hat-removal. He insists that the elbow con- 
tortion of the stiff"-necked Fifth Avenue automaton, which re- 
sembles the motion of a wooden toy figure jerked by a string, 
is not only inelegant, but that there is no authority for it in the 
canons of good taste or conventional etiquette. The salute of 



230 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

poor Montague in "The Shaughraun" was the initiation of this 
muscular spasm, but Captain Molyneux was, for an English- 
man, graceful though unmilitary. Uncle John, who is a war- 
rior bold, having marched with uncut corns in the Seventh 
regiment bunion's pilgrim's progress during the Helderberg 
war, and smelt powder without taking a reef in his nose at 
the Astor Place riot — says that, properly, the hat should be 
raised from the head in salutation. The dudish motion is to 
pull the tile down in front of the countenance, like a cloud 
passing over the face of the sun, as if the wearer feared that 
the rays of his beauty would scorch the susceptible fair one 
who encountered his burning and enslaving gaze. " When 
I take off my hat to a lady," said Uncle John, " I want to 
see her ; to have my eye on her." " You want to beam on 
her, as it were " I remarked graciously. " No," replied the 
veteran gallant, "where ladies are in question, there is no 
beam in my eye." Thus smote he the flippant interlocutor. 

Clustered along the rail forward, were the French sailors, 
in their natty white jackets, gazing admiringly upon the yacht 
as she passed the iron-clad monitor, like a swan gliding by a 
scaly crocodile, and expressing their opinions with exuberant 
ejaculations and vivacious gestures. In order to do some- 
thing in a complimentary way, as well as to show my knowl- 
edge of language, acquired at Turner's French Academy in 
Utica, while at the same time indulging some vainglorious 
superiority over my messmates, putting on French airs, I. re- 
moved my chapeau de paille, and as the sunbeams glinted on 
the polished expanse of my enameled cranium, shouted, in 
the deep contralto tones of a Greenwich Street clam-peddler : 
Compatriotes ! Vive la belle France ! The response came, 
quick and distinct, in the lisping accents of the Provencal 
troubadour: " Iv ye see Tim Mulrooney, who keeps a she- 
been wid a roosterinit near Hahrlem Bridge, tell 'im 'is brud- 



THROUGH THE CARIBBEAN SEA. 23 1 

der Mick is sarvin' his counthry aboord a Frinch ram ov wor. 
Hurroo for Ameriky ! " 

I had intended to sing a verse of the Mm'seillaise, re- 
questing the GaUic mariners to Aux armes citoyens and For-r- 
rmez vos battaillons, but upon consideration I concluded to 
postpone the chant until we sailed into the Cove of Cork. My 
messmates were to join in the refrain, but we all refrained. 

Out again through the fierce currents of the Boca del 
Dragon, skirting the promontory of Paria ! The limestone 
rocks that line the beach have intervals of whiteness washed 
into them by the surf, which remind one of the spring snow- 
drifts along the Hudson ; pure wreaths, safely encreviced in 
hillside ravines, until the melting breath of nearing summer 
finds them out, and they trickle reluctantly into stained afflu- 
ents of the grimy flood that sweeps below. 

The current aids us and we pass through the formidable 
dragon's mouth without difficulty ; as easily perhaps as 
Jonah was evicted from his temporary tenement in the whale 
by a writ of ejectment issued by a district court civil jus- 
tice. We have reached the southern limit of our cruise ; we 
are turned to the north ; we are homeward bound. Not that 
we are going home directly, for a long detour to the west- 
ward must be made to reach Havana, but, with the turning 
of our prow, the home feeling will grow strong with my com- 
panions, and impatient longing will soon fret and fume, as 
unfavorable winds or thwarting calms delay our progress. 
As for me, I have no stimulus to this yearning impatience. 

As one views these shores, enveloped in the romance of 
history, he cannot but recall the wonderful adventures of the 
great Columbus, whose valor, fortitude, knowledge, piety, 
and devotion made the possessor of these admirable attributes 
an exemplar of virtuous endowments rarely combined in one 
person. That he should start on his first voyage of discovery 



232 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

over the trackless ocean with but three small vessels, two of 
them caravels without decks, and overcome obstacles before 
which the ordinary man would have shrunk appalled, excites 
our greatest wonder. His own flag-ship was the only decked 
vessel. During the third voyage, when, coasting the Gulf of 
Paria, he discovered the waters in which we are now sailing, 
he complained of the unnecessary size of his vessel, nearly 
one hundred tons burden. Our yacht, which appears so 
small, is two hundred tons. But his vessels were built up 
with houses fore and aft. Still, he had not only to take a 
large quantity of stores for the considerable force of soldiers, 
with artillery and munitions of war, but he had horses and 
provender aboard as well. That such vessels could cross the 
Atlantic, and survive the autumnal hurricanes and tornadoes 
of this boisterous region, is marvelous. It seems almost in- 
credible that Columbus should possess the ability to surmount 
the formidable interposing barriers to success. But his in- 
domitable courage was fortified by religious convictions of 
the most exalted character. He was a devout enthusiast, who 
believed that he acted under divine inspiration, that his mis- 
sion was to Christianize the heathen, and extend the empire 
of the Church for the honor and glory of the Redeemer. His 
great purpose in life was the redemption of the Holy Sepul- 
chre. In his will, he enjoined on his son Diego, to devote a 
portion of his wealth to the conquest of Jerusalem. His relig- 
ious fanaticism animated to victory a career which was pro- 
ductive of incalculable benefit to mankind. 

Columbus was a great benefactor. But for his discoveries 
many of our eminent statesmen might still be trotting, bare- 
toed, through the savage wilds of Connemara, leaving shape- 
less footprints on the bogs of time. Notwithstanding his 
pious fervor, which was Catholic and idolatrous, Columbus 
might not be regarded by Oberlin University as a truly good 



THROUGH THE CARIBBEAN SEA, 233 

man, but he was a truly great man. I regard him as, in some 
respects, a greater man than WilUam C. Kingsley or Ripley 
Ropes. 

Emerging from the Boca del Dragon, we point westward 
and, skirting the coast of Venezuela, make our course, in the 
Caribbean Sea, toward Curagoa, our sails filled with gentle 
breezes, wafted by the cooling wings of attendant zephyrs, 
through summer seas, enjoying, in its perfection, the poetry 
of motion. 

It is the highest duty to acknowledge an error ; to re- 
tract an unfounded statement, to render an apology when 
justice demands a correction. I apologize to the trade-winds. 
One of my splenetic outbursts in a previous letter contained 
an unjust reflection upon the habits of these benignant gales ; 
which I desire to retract, for, so far from being dissolute, they 
are most exemplary. I think I went so far as to say that the 
trade-winds were a humbug, like blustering and pretentious 
reformers. I thought they had got up a reform movement to 
change the even tenor of their way and make society miser- 
able with meddling disturbance. I take it back. They are 
admirable ; nothing could be gentler or more propitious. 
When I wrote before, they were suffering from indisposition ; 
they were in evil communication, which corrupts good man- 
ners, with some mountainous island associations, which, per- 
haps kept them out late at night, and ruffled their usual 
serenity. They were temporarily under a cloud, unable to 
make both ends meet, and that is calculated to create spleen, 
cause depression, and stir up bile. The sea was not well be- 
tween St. Kitt's and Martinique. It showed bad blood. Evi- 
dently it was suffering from boils. It appeared to be in hot 
water and I rashly attributed the discomposure to a reform 
in the trade-winds. I was wrong. The mischief was done 
by heated land-breezes, that came down through island val- 



234 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

leys, with a predaceous rush, Hke college students on a base- 
ball lager-beer stand, or militia cavalry charging a baker's 
wagon. 

The trade-winds blow with unvarying constancy from 
one quarter, the year round, if they have a chance. They 
have it in the Caribbean Sea, where there is plenty of blow- 
room, and no perverse wind-breeders. Barring some spite- 
ful tornadoes which invade it in the hurricane season, every- 
thing is lovely and the goose may have a high old time with 
ease and safety. I offer to the trade-winds an humble apology. 
I take occasion to convey to them the assurance of my dis- 
tinguished consideration. I salute the trade-winds. 

The sky in the latitudes where these winds prevail is of 
modest neutral tint, with small detached clouds, mainly of 
indefinite, spherical shape, congregating more numerously 
near the horizon, but, seen elsewhere through the lucid space, 
floating in melting beauty, like seminary girls waltzing on a 
hot summer night. They reminded Uncle John of dainty 
crullers circling in a pan of melted lard. Could there be a 
more tasteful comparison ? But it was an inspiration of the 
summer season. Uncle John is part Scotch, and the sim- 
merle of the cruller " simmer" came to him naturally. 

To day the observation shows that we are in latitude I2° 
44' north, longitude 6"]° i8' west ; that is, in round numbers, 
750 miles north of the equator and 4.050 miles west of Green- 
wich, England. By looking at a map you will see where we 
are as I write. I mention this because it is probable that this 
letter, when you receive it, will not bear the post-mark of the 
place where it was written. The post-ofifice service of the 
Caribbean Sea is not regular. Everyone is his own mail-car- 
rier. At night it is a Star Route ; realms of Bhss, Uncle John 
remarked. 

It occurs to me that your sea experience thus far has been 




COOLIES, TRINIDAD. 



THROUGH THE CARIBBEAN SEA. 235 

confined to threading the dsedahan channels of the Thousand 
Islands of the St Lawrence, where land-bearings are frequent 
and lee-shore rocks accessible. Perhaps you may be inter- 
ested in learning how the mariner steers his course on the 
ocean, and ascertains his position by the sun. I make no 
apology for my endeavor to explain it at some length here. 
I assume that you did not study navigation at school, and if 
you had, you would probably know little about it. Very lit- 
tle is learned at school. I trust that the explanation may not 
prove unintelHgible, although I appreciate the difficulty of 
conveying the idea by mere word description : 

The nautical instruments employed are the compass, quad- 
rant, sextant, and chronometer, with the thermometer, barom- 
eter, lead, and log as auxiliaries. The boiler, frying-pan, and 
gridiron belong in the cook's department, and are useful im- 
plements, but not indispensable to navigation ; although the 
cook is a seafaring man, to whom inquisitive passengers are 
often referred for information, regarding winds, tides, and 
fogs, by surly skippers crossing the Atlantic. 

The quadrant and sextant are similar, one being marked 
in quarters and one in sixths of a degree. The movement 
of the compass everybody understands. It is placed in the 
binnacle directly in front of the wheel, under the eye of the 
helmsman, who by it steers the ship's course. The chro- 
nometer is a finely-adjusted big watch, set by the time of 
Greenwich Observatory, England. With this, and the obser- 
vations hereinafter described, the longitude is ascertained. 
By looking at a map you will see the division of the globe 
by imaginary lines, drawn from pole to pole, and converging 
at these points, which are the longitudinal or meridian, and 
transverse lines, equi-distant, which are the latitudinal or 
parallel. 

To ascertain the longitude, the common or ship's time is 



236 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

compared with the chronometer's Greenwich time, and the dif- 
ference between them shows the meridian, forming the basis 
of the calculation by which the ship's position is determined. 
You will see that on the map the meridian of Greenwich is 
marked O. The degrees of longitude east and west of this 
are numbered, and contain at the maximum sixty nautical 
miles each (sixty-nine statute miles), diminishing in width as 
they converge toward the poles. Thus longitude i E. is 
sixty miles east of Greenwich, longitude i W. is sixty miles 
west, longitude 2 W. one hundred and twenty miles west, 
and so on. There are four seconds in time to a mile, hence 
fifteen miles to a minute, 900 miles to an hour. To ascertain 
the longitude, you compare the ship's clock, common time, 
with the chronometer, and the difference in time shows the 
position in miles. For example, if you are west of Green- 
wich and it is noon by the ship's clock, and the chronometer 
marks five o'clock P.M., you know that you are five hours 
from the observatory, and as there are 1 5 degrees to an hour, 
you are in longitude 75° W. ; and 60 miles to a degree gives 
the position 4,500 miles west of Greenwich. This, however, 
must be worked out with the observations, according to 
tables prepared for that purpose, with the aid of logarithms, 
and adding or subtracting the sun's declination, varying with 
the ship's position toward the equator. 

These observations of the sun are taken at noon, if practi- 
cable, and at eight o'clock in the morning and four in the 
afternoon, for purposes of comparison. The latitude is ascer- 
tained in this manner : As noon time approaches, the navi- 
gator places the quadrant to his eye and looks toward the hori- 
zon, through a small aperture. An arrangement of colored 
glasses reflects the figure of the sun, which appears just above 
the horizon, ascending, the navigator bringing the reflection 
doAvn to the proper point of vision by the movement of a 



THROUGH THE CARIBBEAN SEA. 237 

screw. When the sun reaches the meridian, or culminating 
point of ascension, it stops, wavers, and then begins to decHne. 
At this instant, the observation is taken, and, by figures 
marked on the quadrant, the navigator is enabled to determine 
the latitude, making the proper allowance for the point of 
view and the refraction of the sun's rays. Thus, having, 
with the chronometer and quadrant observations, ascertained 
the latitude and longitude, the ship's position is known by 
looking on the chart. These problems are worked out by 
tables prepared for the purpose, which give the apparent de- 
clination of the sun each day, varying with the position north 
or south of the equator. An observation taken from a ship 
absolutely on the equatorial line at the precise instant the 
sun crossed, would show an altitude of ninety degrees. This 
rarely happens, however. 

All these computations require careful and accurate fig- 
uring. I don't think I could work them out with certainty. 
Possibly the reason is that I don't know how. Yet I know 
some persons equally ignorant who would tackle them with 
entire confidence, even if they wrecked the ship. They are 
the public benefactors and busybodies who work out social 
problems, and solve all evils in agitation. I don't think I 
could work a ship. It is easier to work a free lunch route, 
which I am doing now in this cruise of the Montauk. 

Of course when land is in sight no sun observations are 
necessary. They are only required on the open sea where no 
land is in view to give bearings. When the sun is obscured, 
and no observation can be taken, the navigator must work 
what is called a dead-reckoning. This is accomplished by the 
log, an instrument put out astern, which indicates the num- 
ber of miles sailed, the compass showing the course. But 
this is not entirely reliable, for tides and currents increase or 
diminish speed, and in them the log would not register accu- 



238 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

rately the distance progressed. A nice question arises as to the 
effect of currents upon the log. If the tide is running with 
the ship, the log would not be affected, but it would be with 
the current against it. If the current is running against the 
ship's course, and the speed is retarded to the extent of its 
velocity, the question arises, whether the log would indicate 
the actual number of miles progressed by the vessel, measur- 
ing from land points, or whether it would not in addition reg- 
ister the velocitous movement of the current which retarded 
progress. For example, if a ship were sailing with a ten-knot 
breeze against a five-knot current, what would the log regis- 
ter ? If anchored with the log out, and a five-knot current 
were running, the register would show five knots, although no 
progress was made. The problem then is, what would the 
current effect be on the log if the ship were imder sail against 
it. Would the current be registered on the log in addition 
to the actual distance progressed by the aid of the wind ? 
Then, if the log does register an excess of distance traversed, 
does the notation of current momentum increase or diminish 
relatively to the degree of velocity ? 

All of which nebulous conundrums are respectively sub- 
mitted to the gay gondoliers of the Erie Canal. Answers 
may be sent to the flag-officer of the State's scow. 

The dead-reckoning is, therefore, to a great extent, guess 
work, but the experienced sailor can ascertain his position by 
it with a considerable degree of accuracy. During our first 
week out, no complete observation could be taken for some 
days, and the yacht was worked by dead-reckoning, but we 
made the course to Bermuda with almost as much certainty 
as if the sun had been visible. The only error ascertained 
was in the too great allowance for drifting while the yacht 
was laying to during the hurricanes in the Gulf Stream. 
When an observation could be had, it was found that she had 



THROUGH THE CARIBBEAN SEA. 239 

drifted but little, having held on to the sea with the tenacity 
of a bull-dog. It is no easy matter to force the Montauk to 
the rear. The working of the yacht during the period of ob- 
servation proved the able seamanship of the sailing master, 
Captain Peter N. Breitfeld. 

The system of dead-reckoning at sea is different from the 
Arizona method, where a debtor converts his running account 
into a dead-reckoning by shooting his creditor. Political par- 
ties are sometimes worked by dead-reckoning. 

One must go to sea to realize the importance of minute 
accuracy in keeping time. With a chronometer two minutes 
out of the way, one would make a mistake of thirty miles in 
position, which might be awkward if one were out at night 
without the latch-key. There are but few of the strongest 
first-class lights that can be seen thirty miles. The Highland 
lights at Navesink are said to be visible that distance, but a 
very good hand is required to see them. If making for a 
small island, it might be missed if the chronometer were 
wrong, unless the exact deviation were known. 

One is apt to be careless on this point ashore. A man 
says thoughtlessly, "My watch is two minutes slow," with- 
out reflecting that it puts him thirty miles away from where 
he thinks he is. We fail to appreciate the gravity of this 
matter. If, for example, I should start to drive to Whites- 
boro, and my chronometer were four minutes fast, I might 
find myself in Syracuse before I crossed the two-mile bridge. 
Then, too, in the matter of promissory notes. Through 
chronometrical derangement, they often fall due before the 
makers are ready to come to time. Some are never ready. 
They carry stop-watches. The moral of all of which is, we 
cannot be too particular about taking our timepieces fre- 
quently to the venerable horologer of the Woodmarket to 
have them resfulated. 



240 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

We are fortunate in having the full moon to " roll on" 
and '■' guide the traveler his way " on our run to Cura^oa. 
Nothing could be more delightful than these glorious nights. 
No, instead of engrossing all this superabundant space our- 
selves, we might have company which would add to the de- 
light ; some gracious presence more in harmony with the 
delicious scene than the incongruous occupancy of three old 
fogies, who have no romance left in them ; dull materialists, 
utterly devoid of sentimentality ; thinking of their eating, 
drinking, smoking, and selfish creature comfort, instead of 
filling themselves with moonshine, and soaring away on the 
wings of fancy to realms where the soul is steeped in lethal 
obliviousness of the present, and memory fills the musing 
night with dreamy enchantments of the past. Silence sits on 
deck these moonlight nights. There are long breaks in the 
desultory conversation, ordinarily so brisk and animated; 
there is no chaffing, no joking ; the voice is pitched in a 
lower key : there are no sarcasms, no funny stories, no rol- 
licking songs. Occasionally a murmuring strain steals out as 
if unconsciously, some crooning tenderness, some fragment 
of a ballad, breathed under- voiced : "The Dearest Spot on 
Earth to Me," "Home Again," "Flee as a Bird" — some 
old-time melody that makes the moon appear hazy in the 
eye though shining lustrous from a clear sky. Perhaps it is 
" Blue-eyed Mary," or " Farewell, but whenever you wel- 
come the hour." 

There are no bacchanalianisms, no humorous ditties, no 
anacreontics, no lively glees or rattling choruses; but melody 
comes and sits beside us, in sober raiment clad, low-voiced 
and pensive. Loud tones would seem to jar the quiescent 
air, to grate harshly on the ear of listening night, attuned to 
tranquil harmonies. The only interruption is when one asks 
gently for a light for his cigar. The moon sails swiftly 




THE MONTAUK BY MOONLIGHT. 



THROUGH THE CARIBBEAN SEA. 241 

through the sky, her progress niarked by fleeting clouds, 
shifting buoys in the azure sea ; while occasional translucent 
veils of vapor cover her face, through which argent rays out- 
shine prismatic — an aureola of transcendent beauty. 

Then the old expedient of holding communion with the 
absent by gazing on the same star at the same hour (which 
was practised by Enoch and Seth when they left their spouses 
for a night to attend a convocation of the Knights Temp- 
lar — and will continue so long as the world lasts) comes to 
mind, and the thought springs up that this same moon, which 
paves the Caribbean Sea with silver ripples, is shining serene 
over the mounds on a green hill far away, dropping in leafy 
infiltration through the branches of stout-limbed trees into 
luminous bleachings on the dark green grass. And it whitens 
the tombs in the cemetery, which do not appear so unat- 
tractive in this solemn light of meditation. 

Yes, this is the same moon that gleamed on the prow of 
Cleopatra's silken galley ; that lighted the conventual retreat 
of Heloise and the cloistered seclusion of Abelard ; that 
shone on Paul and Virginia, wandering hand in hand, chaste 
and innocent, near the sanctified cocoa-tree ; the same moon 
that on such a night molded the wooing words of sweet- 
tongued Lorenzo to fit the heart-framed ear of fair Jessica, 
There has been no change in the moon for lovers since 
"Adam dolve and Eve span." It is the light that illumed 
Paradise, and it will be the light of Paradise for all time. It 
is the same light that flooded broad meadow slopes, from 
which the night breeze came heavy-laden with the scent of 
new-mown hay, on the way back from the Falls, but vainly 
essayed to penetrate the kindly shades of the road that 
wound through obscuring forests in the favoring glade. It is 
the same light that made glorified mirrors of the window- 
panes at which you gazed long hours in rapt devotion ; or 
16 



242 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

before which the strains of the serenade ascended in worship- 
ing tone to the sanctuary they enclosed : 

Serenade, 
to a memory of the past. 

Good-night ! I 'neath thy casement sing — 

May angels fill thy pillow soft 
With plumage plucked from heavenly wing 

To bear thy holy dreams aloft. 

Sweetheart — Good-night ! 

Good-night ! stars smile in mirrored stream, 

While, over meadow's fair expanse, 
Benignant planets kindly gleam 

To light good fairies' midnight dance. 

Sweetheart — Good-night ! 

Good-night ! now glittering dew-drops deck 

The velvet bosom of the lawn, 
Fit jewels for thy snow-white neck. 

Bright as thy sapphired eyes at dawn. 

Sweetheart — Good-night ! 

Good-night ! the honeysuckle vine 

Spiced night-wind's odors, chaliced, sips, 

Its censer, swinging in thy shrine, 
Finds sweetest incense on thy lips. 

Sweetheart — Good-night ! 

Good-night ! when moonbeams chastely glide 

Within thy chamber's hallowed fane. 
May sainted spirits there abide 

And o'er thy stainless slumbers reign. 

Sweetheart — Good-night ! 

Good-night ! and if in darksome hour 
Some sound should startle, do not fear ! 

No evil may invade thy bower, 
A lover's heart stands sentry near. 

Sweetheart — Good-night ! 



THROUGH THE CARIBBEAN SEA. 243 

Good-night ! when glowing glance of Morn 

Peers in thy blushing lattice-bar, 
The roses which thy cheek adorn 

Than this warm look more crimsoned are. 
Sweethe9.rt — Good-night ! 

Good-night ! as fond birds come to wake 

Their playmate in her downy nest, 
Breathe prayer seraphic for his sake 

Who wears thine image in his breast. 

Good-night, Sweetheart — Good-night ! 

"Ah," said Uncle John, with a ruminant sigh, "when I 
look at that moon, moving majestically through cerulean space 
like a stately ship full-rigged, I recall the time when the warm 
blood coursed in my youthful veins, swift as the water rush- 
ing through 29 Hose ; when all nature was smiling and gay. 
I think of those dulcet moonlight nights when two eyes could 
see for four, and four arms were but two for all practical pur- 
poses. This salt air is transformed in memory's condenser 
to the perfume of lilacs in Harlem Lane, or the freshness of 
dew sprinkled spruce-trees on the old Bloomingdale Road, 
and " 

" Gammon ! " interrupted the startling voice of the 
Commodore, breaking in on the plaintive clarionet-like notes 
of Uncle John, like the blare of loud bassoon heard by the 
wedding-guest in the Ancient Mariner — ' a gammon ! ' who 
will play three hits or a gammon for a drink of lemonade ? " 

The Commodore has no poetry in his soul ! To break up 
poetic reverie with backgammon ! Yet there is a great deal 
of gammon in poetry. 



CHAPTER XIX. 

CURAgOA. 

The Pilot — Fortifications — The Dock — Peddlers — Custom House — The 
Church — Geneva — Roman Organ — Jewish Synagogue — Commerce — 
Pirates — Smugglers — Vegetation — Water — Goats — Municipal Divi- 
sion — Vis Inertice — Streets — Romeo and Juliet — Vessels — Vene- 
zuela — Slavery — Negroes — Dialect — So-long. 

Cur Ago A, April 4, 1884. 

The appearance of Cura^oa, as we lay in the offing, on the 
morning of April 1st, brought to mind views in Holland. 
The place presented the appearance of a Dutch town, the 
houses had the same look, yellow-tinted, with white copings, 
and brown and red tiled-roofs. Before we landed, there could 
be predicated of this aspect, Dutch cleanliness, order, and 
neatness. One could almost imagine himself approaching 
Rotterdam or sailing in lazily from the Zuyder Zee. 

We had to wait for a pilot, as there is but one licensed for 
the port, but after a time a well-manned boat approached, 
and a quiet, self-po^essed negro stepped aboard to take 
charge of our entry. There was nothing remarkable about 
his handsome, portly person, unless it was the novel seaman- 
attire of Panama hat and embroidered slippers, in which he 
ignored the professional array of the pilot of our shores — a 
black plug hat and heavy boots. Uncle John looked at the 
slippers inquiringly, but observed nothing extraordinary 
about them, not even in size, though they were quite large ; 
nearly big enough for a Syracuse belle. We had handsomer 



CURA^OA. 245 

designs in our combined exposition aboard. This knowledge 
was gratifying, for it would have grieved our glass of fashion 
and mould of form to find a black pilot excelling us in any 
point of dress ; even were he the petted of dusk beauty in 
the highest circles of colored Curacoan society ; the recipi- 
ent of as many favors as the much-beslippered popular cler- 
gyman in the holiday season. 

The harbor entrance is imposing, flanked by stone forts 
which, while they would offer but ineffectual resistance to 
iron-clads, are calculated to inspire terror, like the restive 
horses of militia-officers at a " general-training." We passed, 
through the frowning portals, by the Governor's yellow pal- 
ace, a handsome building with capacious balconies, before 
which guard Avas being mounted in a slovenly, perfunctory 
manner. There is abundant evidence of military occupation, 
in the forbidding guns — grinning black teeth in the harbor's 
mouth — and the soldiers who loiter in the streets, both, I 
believe, equally harmless. Adjoining the fort, on the right 
as you enter, is a dismantled water-battery, with two or three 
honeycombed guns, mounted en barbette, feebly lingering on 
the dilapidated walls, like tremulous autumnal flies clinging 
to a crumbling pie-crust. Near this is an interior fortifica- 
tion or citadel — containing a bombrproof, with elaborate in- 
terior passages — within which are the barracks for troops ; a 
poor lot of men as compared with our soldiers, or the armies 
of England, France, Germany, and Austria. The garrison 
consists of one company of whites, sent out from Holland, 
with an occasional black soldier, enlisted here. 

Fort Nassau, situated on a high hill further inland, is a 
strong work, mounting heavy guns, and important from its 
commanding position. It is used for a signal-station. These 
works are all old style, stone fortifications, ineffectual as de- 
fenses against armor-plated ships, which would knock them 



246 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

into smithereens. Curagoa could make no prolonged resist- 
ance to any navy, saving, perhaps, that of the United States, 
which, Hke John Brougham's actor in Heaven, is no navy. 
It was formerly a walled town, but walls are no longer fash- 
ionable, except some disjointed relics, like those of Quebec, 
which are kept as curiosities, or the enclosure of Chester, 
England, used as a promenade, a sort of English wall-street. 
It is safer walking there than in the American Wall Street, 
which abounds in slippery places. Lubrici sunt fortiuKE 
cressus. 

We wanted to sail up into the lagoon, but the wind being 
light, the pilot determined to moor the yacht at the dock. 
There are no steam-tugs, and towing would have to be done 
by small boats. The boats which ply in the ferry between 
Willemstad and Otrabanda are of solid Dutch build, flat- 
bottomed scows, square-ended, propelled by an oar astern, 
with the motion called sculling. Few boats are to be seen 
with side oars used in the usual manner, nearly all are sculled. 
The Commodore was prompted to remark that these boat- 
men must do a great deal of head-work — they use their sculls 
so much. He paid his fine. I think I saw that joke in Joe 
Miller; or heard it aboard the Alliance. 

As it turned out, we might have gone into the lagoon and 
anchored there instead of tying up to the dock, to run the 
risk of being boarded by rats, cockroaches, and such " small 
-deer," from which infliction we have been fortunately exempt 
thus far, notwithstanding two weeks' foggy adhesion to Pier 
3 N. R., waiting for a send-off. With the exception of three 
mosquitoes who paid us a short visit of courtesy, and not on 
business, at Martinique, and considerately retired early 
without taking something, contrary to the habit of the regu- 
lar visitor, we have had no insects of any kind on board. 
Whether this is due to the presence of detergent, as Uncle 



cuRAgoA. 247 

John claims, the fear of James' pills, or whether it is a recog- 
nition of the exemplary conduct of the voyagers — the purity 
of life which envelops them and deters gentlemen of question- 
able habits from seeking their society — is a point that I am 
unable to determine. I leave it open to suspicion. 

Our arrival at the dock was watched with much interest 
by the crowd assembled, a concourse of unemployed, who 
gazed complacently on the sailors straining at the warping- 
hawser, and offered no objection to their perspiring as much 
as the effort demanded. One of the amiable characteristics 
of the idler is his willingness to let the other fellow sweat. 
Hardly had we made fast, when the dock swarmed with 
peddlers of carved knicknacks, fancy boxes, shell-work, birds, 
and straw-hats. Many of these were women, who carried 
their warehouses of merchandise on the head, as is the habit 
of sensible persons who have heavy burdens to bear. It was 
somewhat remarkable that the first display of wares was an 
assortment of vivid cravats, offered, by the black Autolyca 
who bore them, to Uncle John, in whom, with feminine in- 
tuition, she recognized a sympathetic purchaser. But she 
brought her goods to a poor market. It was carrying coals 
to Newcastle, or recommending Captain Williams to play 
clubs for trumps. There was nothing in her stock that ri- 
valed in splendor the gorgeous deposit which glows beneath 
in the depths of Uncle John's locker, like gems of purest ray 
serene the dark unfathom'd caves of ocean bear. 

The first visit after landing was to the Custom House, ac- 
companied by Mr. Gaertse, a merchant to whom we had 
letters of introduction. He greatly facilitated our business, 
which was to impress upon the collector, Mr. de Veer, that 
the yacht's commission exempted her from entry and clear- 
ance and the payment of port-dues, compulsory on merchant- 
men. The infrequency of yacht arrivals (it is several years 



248 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

since one was here before) rendered an examination of laws 
and treaties necessary, which resulted satisfactorily to the 
pleasant collector. We learned here that an error had been 
made in reporting us from the telegraph station. Our ensign 
was mistaken for the flag of the RepubHc of Hayti, and we 
were reported as a Haytian vessel. Possibly the telegrapher 
caught a glimpse of the Commodore's swarthy face, as he ap- 
peared on deck, with cheek darkly, deeply, beautifully bronze, 
from exposure to wind and weather. Or the official may 
have known that he was a Black Republican — munificent con- 
tributor to the hat passed around for soap in the cause of 
freedom. 

We omitted to telegraph our arrival to New York, as has 
been customary upon reaching other ports. Telegraphing is 
an extravagant luxury in the West Indies, and we are begin- 
ning to practice economy. Then there is no telegraph in 
C\xra.qoa. 

After leaving the Custom House, Mr. Gaertse kindly de- 
voted himself to showing us the public offices in the Govern- 
ment Square, the business-rooms being in the lower story ,_ 
and the Governor's residence in the apartments above. In 
the same enclosure is the Dutch Reformed Church. Mr. 
Gaertse, who is a deacon in this church — the State establish- 
ment of Holland — pointed out the curiosities of the plain 
and unpretentious old building. Inserted over the entrance, 
like a wart on the forehead, is a cannon-ball, fired at it, about 
a hundred years ago, when the English occupied the oppo- 
site shore of Otrabanda, and amused themselves by pitching 
balls at Willemstad, asserting their orthodoxy by apostolic 
blows and knocks on the Calvinistic church. This ball has 
probably been permitted to remain as a sign of the church 
militant ; after the fashion of Pompeiian sculptures over the 
door, indicating the business carried on within. The floor 



CURA^OA. 249 

of the church is covered, to the depth of three or four inches, 
with fine white sand, which has the advantage of affording 
no refuge for carpet-bugs, and, as kneeHng is not part of the 
service, it furnishes a clean floor-cloth, leniently assuaging 
the clatter of late-arriving brogans. At first, one accustomed 
to the Yankee tavern might suppose it to be intended for 
tobacco chewers, but church-members do not chew tobacco 
here. They only drink, smoke, play cards and billiards, and 
dance on Sunday. There is no prohibition of the use of to- 
bacco, by a Conference, on religious grounds, as being con- 
trary to the teachings of the Bible, in which no permission is 
granted to masticate, but they choose not to chew, as Uncle 
John said. It isn't chic among gentlemen anywhere but in 
America. 

There is an elaborate enclosure for the Governor, and 
pews for the elders and deacons, but chairs for the general 
congregation, the vidgiLS, divided by an aisle through the 
middle, the women occupying one side and the men the 
other. A story is told of an English friend of ours who 
attended divine service and insisted on sitting among the 
women — like Achilles, only in his own shape — saying that 
he always sided with the ladies. In this division the line of 
demarcation between the sheep and the goats was suggested, 

A commendable feature of the service here is the omis- 
sion of passing the plate. As the government pays ex- 
penses, there is no necessity for taking up a collection, but 
after meeting is over the deacons stand at the door, holding 
bags in which those who choose may drop their offerings. 
There is no echo from the bottom of the bag, and nobody 
knows the weight of his neighbor's contribution, nor is it 
considered obligatory to give anything. It is different from 
the delightful little church, where Vestrym.an Josephus Ar- 
noldus levies contributions, like an ecclesiastical Rob Roy, 



250 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

grimly passing the defiant plate, raiding the pews with stern 
impartiality, and looking daggers, at anybody who puts less 
than a quarter of a dollar in his sacerdotal sporran. 

In view of this unrevealing bag, which doesn't let the 
right hand of the deacon know what the left hand of the 
donor does, the copper currency of Curagoa is peculiarly 
adapted to church purposes. The small coin has the value 
of two-fifths of our cent. This insignificance of expenditure 
appeals strongly to the religionist of an economical turn, who 
finds it cheaper to go to church and put something in the 
bag than to stay at home and sm.ok& periqtie. 

During the terrible hurricane a few years ago, the tiles 
were lifted bodily, and a tidal wave setting in, the church 
was filled with water through the roof; converted temporarily 
from a Dutch Reformed to a Baptist church, by immersion. 
It contains a fine organ, built for the cathedral at Havana. 
While the war was in progress between Spain and Columbia, 
it was captured and brought here by a pious privateer to be 
placed in the Catholic church. It was found to be — like the 
surplices on the choir-boys at Grace — too high for the 
church, and as the Dutch Reformed congregation had a 
smaller instrument on hand, a trade was effected, and now 
the Catholic organ sounds within Protestant walls, while the 
Protestant accompanies the priest singing Mass. Can any- 
one say that the worship is less devout because of this change, 
that the tones of the Protestant organ do not blend harmoni- 
ously with the Adeste Fidelis, or that the strains of the 
Catholic do not fit (Sin fefte ^urg ift unfer @ott. If the angels 
can distinguish any inharmony between them, they have ex- 
ceedingly fine and critical ears for music. 

Little religious bigotry exists. The Government sup- 
ports the church, pays the salaries of ministers, and keeps 
the buildings in repair, but it pays the Catholic priest and 



cuRAgoA. 251 

Jewish rabbi as well as the Protestant minister. In the 
Dutch Reformed church the sermons are preached in Dutch, 
and VioX. pap lament 0, the island dialect. After visiting many- 
countries, I have come to the conclusion that we are about 
as bigoted in the United States as they are anywhere. We 
talk more religion and believe less, we prate more about 
religious liberty and have less toleration of opinion, than any 
other people. Mr. Gaertse is intelligently liberal in his 
views, and is happily circumstanced : he is a deacon in the 
Dutch Reformed Church, his wafe is a Catholic, and he has 
a sister a nun. Thus he has a part-proprietary interest in 
various avenues leading to Heaven. 

Of the twenty-five thousand population of Cura^oa, but 
three thousand is Protestant. The negroes are all Catholics, 
the whites, Protestants and Jews. The most imposing 
structure on the island is the Catholic cathedral, not yet 
completed. The Orthodox Jewish synagogue is a large 
building, two hundred and fifty years old, containing some 
particularly handsome brass chandeliers, the branched-can- 
dlestick. The sexton who showed us around (I don't know 
his church title in Hebrew) had a countenance of the most 
pronounced Jewish type. He carried the exaggerated beak 
of an eagle ; indeed it was large enough for a doubloon. 
Perhaps the prow of an antique galley would describe it 
better. He didn't understand English and was unable to 
impart any information when, wanting to be polite, I en- 
quired of him courteously, as if I were addressing John Mc- 
Cullough in the Fifth Avenue Theatre : " What news in the 
Rialto ? " What he knows he knows, but he knows enough 
not to give his " knows " away. It would give him away, 
however, if he tried to pass himself off as a Connaught man 
in Mackerelville. Still his nose might be subjected to a few 
yards' excision with advantage to his personal appearance. 



252 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

Then he would navigate better. With a heavy bowsprit, he 
carries too much head-sail ; he is down by the head ; that's 
what makes him shuffle along so round-shouldered. 

There is a split between the conservative Hebrews and 
the i-eformers of the new school, who have a fine synagogue 
of their own. The Jews are powerful here and control trade. 
Business brains will tell everywhere. Abe, Ike, and Jake are 
too sharp for Hans and Derick. You can't beat the Jews. 
The Christians are very jealous of them in a commercial way. 
The money-changers haunt the temple, and commerce lurks 
behind the cross. The island contains one Lutheran and one 
Dutch Reformed church, two Jewish synagogues, and four 
Catholic churches, besides a chapel attached to the convent. 
You see I give you a good deal of religious information in 
these letters. I rather run to that sort of thing. I would like 
to see somebody who knows more about sectarian divisions 
— or who cares less. I look into these as matters of profitable 
inquiry. Religion enters into all the affairs of life, social, 
domestic, and governmental. You know that in Utica per- 
sons who become rich, and want to get into " good society," 
must quit the Methodist Church and join the Episcopal. 

The commerce of Cura^oa is considerable, but it has fallen 
off in late years. It is an ^^/r^"/)^^ for Venezuela. Its products 
are light, nothing of consequence but dye-woods, peanuts, 
and divi-divi. In this last article of commerce it might get 
up a flourishing trade with Albany, where there is often com- 
plaint of the scarcity of "divvy" during sessions of the 
Legislature. 

The productions of Curagoa being unimportant, it buys 
and sells everything. It is a general broker and commission 
merchant between the Spanish Main and the rest of the 
world. The light duty on imports makes it practically a free 
port, while the exorbitant tariff of Venezuela, a sweeping 



cuRAgoA. 253 

duty of thirty per cent., naturally encourages smuggling, 
which I fancy is carried on largely, despite the vigilance exer- 
cised for its suppression. The proximate free port to a coun- 
try so heavily protected makes it reasonable to suppose that 
the Curacoan, who pays but one and a half per cent, duty, 
has a neighborly feehng of sympathy toward the Venezuelan, 
who is expected to pay thirty — but doesn't. In olden time, 
Cura^oa was a great place for pirates, who cov.ld lurk in the 
lagoon, with their light-draught, swift vessels, and dart out 
and pounce upon the heavy merchantmen passing in the open 
sea. But there are no more swash-buckler corsairs ; the 
smuggler has taken the place of the buccaneer. The emanci- 
pating yf/2(5z^j^^r<? sometimes appears, but he soon gives way 
to the cunning contrabandist a. 

The island is rocky, with scanty vegetation, parched and 
gasping for moisture. Rain falls but seldom, sometimes not 
once in two years ; when it does come the grateful earth 
quickly responds in marvelous rapid growth. Notwithstand- 
ing this lack of moisture, conflagrations are unknown. It is 
said that a house won't burn down under the greatest provoca- 
tion. Insurance companies, therefore, have no business here. 
I told a good story about the insurance business, which was 
lost because the hearers didn't see the point. They were 
Dutch. The story is this : Moses Levi, clothier of Cincinnati, 
inquired at the Chicago telegraph office for a message, two 
days in succession, and was in great perturbation at his failure 
to receive one. When he applied on the third day, a tele- 
gram was handed him, whereupon, before opening it, he 
burst into tears and exclaimed, " Mein Gott ! Mein Gott ! my 
shtore ish burnt down." 

Of course there is no Fire Department, and no tickets for 
excursions, picnics, and balls. Rain-water is used, and it 
cannot be — like the youngster just out of college going into 



254 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

politics — " too fresh," when we consider that it is sometimes 
kept two years in tanks. I beHeve water undergoes some 
chemical change, some decomposition of organic matter held 
in solution, which exercises a clarifying effect and makes it 
sweeter and purer than when first drawn. I have seen this 
aboard ships where water in the tanks has been kept a 
long time — I have seen, not tasted. Uncle John got up an 
ingenious idea as a remedy for this dryness. He suggested 
that, in order to raise moisture, the business men might come 
to the front — as they do every four years in front of the Sub- 
Treasury building in New York, saving the country from 
commercial disaster by contributing to the support of the 
men who make a living out of politics. The merchants here 
might go into liquidation, with drafts falling dew, and notes 
whose makers are mist. Uncle John is perfectly incorrigible. 

Sheep and goats abound, the goat abounding more than 
the sheep, as is its habit. Curacoa-kid is a standard quality 
of leather, though all skins so classed do not come from the 
island. South America furnishing the bulk of them. The 
name is no indication of the origin of an article. There is 
the famous Curagoa liqueur, for instance. Not a drop of it 
is made here. It is distilled in Holland, and takes its desig- 
nation from the peculiar aromatic bitterness of the Curagoa 
orange-peel with which it was flavored originally. But the 
orange no longer grows here in sufficient quantity to sup- 
ply the requirements of this distillation. The trees have 
died out, and now the Curagoa flavor is imparted by the peel 
of Havana and Jamaica oranges. One of the peculiarities of 
the Curagoa orange is that it is not good to eat. The skin is 
used and the pulp thrown away. The Curacoa liqueur, then, 
is lucus a noil lucendo. 

How goats manage to make a living is a mystery. The 
supply of old boots is trifling, the greater portion of the 



cuRAgoA. 255 

populace going barefooted, while the frugal save their vege- 
table-cans for soup-tureens. There are no discarded hoop- 
skirts and bustles, and, as the goat is unable to tackle the 
cactus, on account of the lanceolate defense, it must live by 
its wits. 

Nature has some wise object in every creation. Some of 
them are inscrutable, but there is wisdom in everything, ex- 
cept long sermons on hot Sundays. However, we are not 
troubled much with them, as the churches are closed during 
the warm weather by ministerial sore-throat. As a matter 
of course, during that period, there are no admissions to 
Heaven ; it is closed to give the attendant cherubim and 
seraphim a vacation. The object in the creation of the cac- 
tus involves a conundrum that it would puzzle CEdipus to 
answer, but I believe it was intended to present an insolva- 
ble problem to the omnivorous goat. I never heard of a 
goat being choked by anything except an independent New 
York newspaper, containing a demonstration, by fractional 
tables, of the accomplishment of its political prophesies. Even 
the Harlem goat couldn't stomach that. I don't know what 
makes the Curagoa kid-skin superior. It may be something 
in the flavor of the edible rocks, more pronounced by reason 
of the absence of diluent rain to weaken their pungency. 
The Curacoa goat doesn't feed on sodden, slippery stones ; 
he wants something substantial. That goat has a gneiss taste 
in petrology. 

Curacoa is divided by the waters of the harbor into 
four divisions, named, respectively, Willemstad, Otrabanda, 
Scharlo, and Pietermay. The harbor proper, which leads to 
the inlying lagoon, separates Willemstad from Otrabanda, 
the principal business quarters, with communication by the 
sculled boats before mentioned. These punts are very handy 
and the ferriage is but half-a-cent a passenger. They are 



256 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

not large enough for vehicles, but may be lashed together. 
A gentleman told us that he saw a queer funeral procession 
crossing on the ferry from Willemstad to Otrabanda. The 
hearse was placed on two boats, and the horses swam across 
the stream. The cofhn was not floated, but remained in the 
hearse, on sticks, in charge of Charon. 

Scharlo is separated from Willemstad by a lateral extension 
of the harbor into a smaller lake, crossed by a draw-bridge, 
owned by a private corporation which charges toll, and earns 
heavy dividends. The Catholic Cathedral is at the head of 
this sheet of water, the most conspicuous position in the 
place. Pietermay is a continuation of Scharlo, extending to 
the suburbs. 

The lagoon, or inner harbor, stretches inland, forming a 
broad, beautiful lake, shallow in places but deep enough for 
a man-of-war to ride at anchor near the entrance, where a 
Dutch frigate is now moored. A finer sheet of water for 
rowing it would be hard to find, yet, strange to say, there is 
not a boating club in Curacoa, and not half a dozen private 
boats. It is different with carriages. All the conveyances 
are private ; there isn't a public vehicle on the island. The 
roads are good, but there is little driving. It would seem to be 
impossible to overcome the vis inertice of Curagoa. Whether 
it is owing to the climate (like dipsomania in the United 
States), to the sluggishness of the Dutch blood, or to what- 
ever cause, there is a pervading languor, not calculated to 
stimulate great enterprises. Rip Van Winkle would not have 
been out of place here, if he could keep sober, and would 
break himself of the bad habit of indulging in sufficient en- 
ergy to go a-hunting. 

Asses and mules are numerous, and are to be met in the 
country roads, bearing their burdens as meekly and patiently 
as if they expected something to eat when they got through. 



CURA^OA. 257 

The donkeys do not appear to be extraordinarily large, yet 
they must be great asses to live here ; Dutch orphans without 
any fodder. 

We saw negresses bestriding the animals after the man- 
ner of men. They seemed to consult comfort rather than 
propriety. There is no reason why they shouldn't adopt the 
easiest attitude. I once saw some women riding in the same 
fashion out among the Rocky Mountains. They were from 
Greeley, Colorado, clad in epicene, bifurcated garments. 
They wore trousers ; I don't think the negresses did. They 
seemed to have long black stockings on. The donkeys here 
enjoy a gallant discrimination in favor of the fair sex. Jack 
does all the work ; Jenny is a lady, and idles at home, except 
when engrossed by maternal cares. Wild asses are to be 
found in some parts of the island. 

The streets are narrow ; the widest is Broad Street, in 
Willemstad, thirty feet. The pavements are good, of small, 
oblong blocks, something like Medina or Hammond sand- 
stone. Their fine condition would indicate that .they were 
not laid by contract. In the older parts of the town the 
streets are about fifteen feet wide, in some not more than 
six; mere slits among the buildings, fissures in a mass of 
masonry ; wooden balconies, abutting the upper windows, ' 
often meet in the middle of the street. In order to make 
Juliet's balcony accessible, Romeo need only hire the house 
over the way, when the contiguity of his balcony would save 
him the trouble of climbing. And when he exclaims, " But, 
soft ! what light through yonder window breaks," he wouldn't 
be foolish enough to say, " It is the East, and Juliet is the 
sun," for he knows very well that the sun never penetrates 
these cracks of streets, but that the light is probably a kero- 
sene night-lamp in the old lady's bedroom, left burning for 
Cap., who is out carrying a transparency with his Ward Club. 
17 



2 58 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

It wouldn't answer to have the Montagues and Capulets in 
the same street. They could reach across while at breakfast 
and tweak each other's noses without getting up from the 
table. It would afford dangerous facility for collision, yet it 
would be rather a safe place, after all, for nobody could draw 
a sword without facing it lengthwise, and it is not so deep as 
a well, nor so wide as a church door. Then there is no glass 
in the windows and Montaguese and Capulettish dames could 
scold each other to their hearts' content, without being com- 
pelled to go into the street, after the Italian fashion in the 
Strada di Mulberri. 

We met no umbrellas in Cura^oa. It never rains, and the 
narrow streets are always shady. Besides, it would require 
some exertion to raise an umbrella. 

In 1877, seven immense tidal waves swept over the best 
portion of Willemstad, destroying the buildings, making a 
clean sweep and wrecking everything in the inundated dis- 
trict. Fortunately, the loss of life on land was slight, as the 
disaster occurred in the morning, and the fierce hurricane, 
which commenced at midnight, had given timely warning for 
the inhabitants to escape to a place of safety. The devastated 
portion has been but partially rebuilt. Haste is not a Cura- 
9oan weakness. But Rome wasn't built in a day. I doubt 
whether anything could be built here in a day, not even a 
mansard on the head of a pugilist. It would take two days 
for the contusion to develop a swelling. The sun rises and 
sets the same day, but he is only an habitual visitor, he 
doesn't reside in Cura^oa altogether. During the hurricane, 
many vessels were stranded, and four were dragged from 
their moorings, swept out to sea, and never heard from 
again. 

A schooner is on the stocks near where we are moored. 
She is of good model, rather full in the bows, with a remark- 



cuRAgoA. 259 

ably clean run aft, resembling the Montauk somewhat in this 
particular. She is built of tough Maracaibo wood, with stem, 
sternpost, and ribs of mahogany, and mahogany under the 
knees ; reversing our use of the rare wood, for we put our 
knees under the mahogany. Think of employing this pre- 
cious timber in constructing the frames of vessels ! No iron 
is used, but all the nails, rivets, and bolts are of composite 
metal. This schooner — like one of John Hirt's on a mid- 
summer day — is evidently intended for quick work. We 
didn't learn for whom she was building, but it wouldn't 
be strange if she turned up some fine day with a cargo 
of tobacco for Venezuela, courteously waiving the formality 
of paying thirty per cent, duty, in order to save the Cus- 
toms' officers trouble. Many fast schooners sail from this 
port. 

No arms or ammunition are permitted to be sold, but I 
have a shrewd suspicion that when a revolution breaks out in 
South America (these little affairs are about as certain as hur- 
ricanes) there will be plenty of arm caches in the island, for 
the delving of adventurous filibusters, and transportation of 
such swift sailers as the one on the stocks. 

Venezuela is quiet just now. The President, Guzman 
Blanco, administers the government with firmness and dis- 
cretion. I don't know how long it is since Blanco turned the 
other man out and put himself in, but his term as President 
has expired, and as there is a constitutional disability to his 
re-election, he continues to hold over, neglecting to order an 
election for his successor. I am unable to see how a South 
American can let such a little thing as a Constitution stand 
in his way. Pie could sweep it aside at once with a well- 
loaded military necessity. If he wants to hold the office 
again, I wonder it didn't occur to him to create an Electoral 
Commission. We do these things better in North America, 



26o THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK, 

Avhere the will of the people is the supreme law, and the ma- 
jority rules. 

Slavery existed until the year 1863, when, through the 
indefatigable efforts of the philanthropic Governor Crol, it 
was abolished, by formal proclamation of the King of Hol- 
land. At noon on the first day of July, a salute of twenty- 
one guns was fired from the fort, and at the sound of the 
cannon the fetters fell off every slave in Curagoa. In our own 
land, the idol of slavery tumbled from its pedestal at the"" 
sound of the gun that fired on the flag of the Union at Fort 
Sumter. Holland paid from ten to twelve millions of florins 
for the manumission of these slaves. Emancipation cost us 
much more, but Holland had no politicians and army con- 
tractors to pay, no blundering marplots to enhance the cost 
of war. I imagine Holland is honester than our great fan - 
faronading nation, where the horn of the hypocrite is heard 
on the hill. 

The black population of Curagoa outnumbers the white, 
in the proportion of about seven to one. The negroes are 
quiet, orderly, and well-behaved. Liquor is cheap, but there 
is no drunkenness. Even white men don't get drunk in 
Curacoa. I suggested to Captain Smith, the United States 
Vice Consul, who is from the State of Maine, that he might 
change this condition of society by bringing Neal Dow down 
and starting a Maine liquor law, importing a few frightful ex- 
amples from Portland, where no liquor is sold, for a stock in 
trade. 

The common language is Cd^&di papiamento,-as\.6. is an olla 
podrida, 2. patois, with a base of Spanish and Portuguese, a 
stratum of Dutch, an admixture of English, and an infusion 
of other languages, to make it thick and slab. As a rule, the 
whites speak English, particularly those in business, and 
nearly all are in trade : the aristocracy here is commercial. 



CURA^OA. 261 

They are conversant with American affairs, and all read the 
Ne2i' York Herald. Whether this gives them accurate infor- 
mation regarding our governmental affairs, I don't venture 
to assert, for fear of provoking the indignation of rival New 
York newspapers. They can learn something about one J. 
Kelly from the Herald. Everybody says " so-long," instead 
of good-by or au revoir. I don't know what language it is, 
but I have been informed that s'long is a sort of slang im- 
ported from China. 



CHAPTER XX. 

CURACOA— Contimied. 

Peter Stuyvesant — Government — Orthoepy — Mr. Gaertse — Wages — 
Straw-plaiting — Grosira — Venomous Reptiles — Cactus — Zuikerti- 
tmtze — A Frugal Repast — Fireworks — The Governor — A Glass of 
Wine — Religion — Sunday Observance — Light Clothing — A Tableau 
— Historical Sketch — Arcadia. 

CuRAgoA, April 5, 1884. 
CURAgOA boasts of being the birthplace of Peter Stuyvesant, 
who went from here to New York. Uncle John claims that 
he often saw Hard-Koppig Peter pegging up the Bowery to 
a morning-tansy laboratory on the corner of Walker Street, 
but I doubt it, notwithstanding my ordinary reliance on his 
credibility. He must be mistaken. He was too young to 
remember the Iron Governor. He confounds him with his 
old chum Tom. Dongan, the Roman Catholic Governor who 
gave New York its first charter of liberty. Uncle John is 
given to mystifications, and tries to stuff me with marvels, 
like an Irish jaunting-car driver plying the English cockney 
tourist with bams. I know a man who probably made the 
acquaintance of Governor Stuyvesant, when he went to New 
York, on a flat-boat, to purchase paper-hangings, but Uncle 
John can't fool me. I am not credulous, except when the 
girls tell me that I am looking better than I ever did. 

Curacoa had no regular steam communication with any 
ports besides Porto Caballo and La Guayra, in Venezuela, 
until recently. Now there is a fortnightly line of steamers to 



cuRAgoA. 263 

New York, the Red D, which, I understood Captain Hess, 
of the Valencia, to claim, is the only regular line of ocean 
steamers with American bottoms, flying the United States 
flag. I may have misunderstood him, for the Havana lines 
are American. 

The government is administered by a Governor, ap- 
pointed by the King of the Netherlands. There is a Council 
of thirteen, a close corporation, a continuing body, electing 
its own members, under governmental confirmation. The 
judiciary consists of one presiding judge and two assistants, 
appointed by the King, and one assistant, named by the 
Governor. The animosity between the Dutch and Germans 
is implacable. No Germans need apply. The Dutch have 
taken Holland. There are no Irish ; all the corner groceries 
are kept by Dutchmen. 

The expenses of administration amount to $200,000 per 
annum, a trifle less than the cost of governing New York. 
The taxes on real estate are light, and the duties on imports 
a mere trifle, the great source of revenue being the phos- 
phatic beds of Santa Barbara, claimed to be the richest in 
the world. The royalty paid the government for the conces- 
sion amounts to nearly enough to defray the expenses of ad- 
ministration, so that the colony may be said to be self-sup- 
porting. The cost of the small military establishment is not. 
included. 

We were put down for the principal club, of which Dr. 
Ferguson is President, and found it pleasant and well-ap- 
pointed. There is another club here, the Semper Crescendo, 
which must be some insurrectionary organization, always ris- 
ing. Fortunately we were not compelled to pronounce the 
name of our club, Gezeligheid (sociability), or we might not 
have been able to find our way to the house. Speaking of 
names, we insisted upon the right of mispronunciation which 



264 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

the true American glories in, and maintains, with erroneous 
stubbornness, at home and abroad. Therefore we persisted 
in addressing Mr. Gaertse with the phonetic sound his name 
would have in EngHsh, according to the spelhng, whereas in 
Dutch the g has the aspirate sound of h. I made several 
praiseworthy efforts to get it right, practicing on "horse- 
car" with a sauce of violent influenza sneeze, and "aspara- 
gus " with epizootic dressing, but failed. The amen stuck in 
my throat. One attempt gave Uncle John a quinsy sore- 
throat for three days. 

We are very lax in orthoepic observance. I have a shib- 
boleth for the mispronouncing American. I ask " how do 
you pronounce few ? " He answers " fyou." Then how do 
you pronounce " new ? " and the answer is " noo." Now, if 
" new " is "noo," " few " is " foo." It is said that there is 
no reasoning by analogy in the English language, but here 
both analogy and authority concur. It is few (fu) and new 
(nu), not fu and nu. 

But if we quailed before Mr. Gaertse's name, we surren- 
dered at discretion to his unremitting attention to our com- 
fort and pleasure. We had the privilege of visiting his 
handsome house, and enjoying a home scene, which brought 
up cheerful recollections, shining softly through the mists of 
afflictive memories. At dinner Ave became acquainted with 
a variety of Spanish dishes, provided expressly for our infor- 
mation. The predominant garlic brought to mind travels in 
Spain, the Alhambra, thick-skinned cork-trees, the jangling 
equipment of Andalusian mules, the tinkling castanets of 
Seville, the velvet jacket of the muleteer, the student's man- 
dolin, and the baiidcrilla waving before an infuriated bull in 
the lists at a gay Toledo Fiesta. That garlic stood by like 
a stanch friend. It never quit us once during the evening, 
and it came aboard the yacht and stayed all night. 



CURA^OA. 265 

Garlic was the grim chamberlain 

That went with us to bed, 
And drew our midnight curtains round 

With fingers perfumed. 

Some one said that there ought to be a soiipcon of garhc 
in the cooking of certain dishes. Agreed ; but let it remain 
a suspicion ; don't make it a certainty. 

The dinner was excellent, well-served, and copiously con- 
comitantiated (what would Richard Grant White say to that 
for a new word ?) with fluids of choice bouquet, which could 
not, however, entirely overcome the apres-goitt of the garlic. 
Mrs. Gaertse, our charming hostess, is a native of Texas, the 
daughter of General Thomas J. Green, of the Confederate 
Army, and the only American lady resident in Curacoa. She 
was educated at the Convent of Mount St. Vincent, and as I 
happened to know some of her schoolmates, she greatly en- 
joyed the rare opportunity afforded of talking over early 
home associations. We sat out, on the tesselated pavement, 
under the portico, after dinner, with cigar and cognac, while 
Mr. Gaertse, who is an accomplished musician, played operatic 
airs and some of his own compositions on the piano. His is 
a pleasant home-life; but, as he says, there is none other in 
Curagoa. There are no amusements, save occasional social 
entertainments ; no operas, concerts, plays, political meetings, 
temperance revivals, or > roller-skating, except when some 
strolling company eddies this way. 

After all, are they not happier, imvexed by the worryings 
and excesses of fashionable life. They make home a sanctu- 
ary. Mr. Gaertse enjoys the advantage of having a large 
stock of relatives to draw from for family reunions. He was 
born in Curacoa, and so was his father, and the family con- 
nection amounts to over two hundred souls. I said it was all 
very well, but I could beat that record badly. He struck me 



266 THE CRUISE OF THE MOKTAUK. 

on my strong point, genealogy. I could figure up, direct 
and collateral, according to my comprehensive method — but 
never mind ! I won't go into details ; but if all my relations 
would vote for me I might be elected Charity Commissioner. 
The father of our host, a bluff, stalwart, retired skipper, twice 
made the voyage to Holland, in a schooner of eighty-five tons 
burden, without a chronometer ; once in forty, and once in 
thirty-six days. 

We saw a curiosity here in a feathered watch-dog, a 
speckled bird with a long bill, resembling the heron species, 
called a Dara, which sets up a tremendous clatter when a 
stranger enters the premises. It is a faithful guardian, making 
a shrill noise, something like that of a turkey-gobbler. Mr. 
Gaertse, with his consonants Dutch-softened, said it had a 
very Blaintive cry. 

In discussing domestic matters, suggested by the skill of 
the cook who prepared our fine dinner, we learned that the 
pay of a first-class cook is four dollars a month, and that 
ordinary, capable house-servants receive two dollars. The 
wages of a master carpenter or mason is sixty cents a day, 
the journeyman receives forty. The competent architect who 
designed, and superintended the erection of, Mr. Gaertse's 
house was liberally paid a dollar a day. The laborers in the 
salt-vats receive twelve cents a day, and a small ration of 
Indian corn- meal, imported from the United States, the com- 
mon food of the poor. This, too, despite the fact that they 
are liable to become blind by continuous working in the 
dazzling white salt. But the cost of living is proportionately 
cheap. There is a savings bank here, but the deposits must 
be very small. 

A large share of the female population appears to be en- 
gaged in plaiting straw-hats, of every variety and degree of 
value, from the fine, expensive Panama, to the coarse straw 



CURAgOA. 267 

sold for a few cents. Thousands of women are to be seen, 
seated at windows, in doorways, and along the streets, with 
fingers busily occupied in this work. Nor are all those so 
employed visible ; there is a hidden force of women making 
hats in the seclusion of their homes, and disposing furtively 
of the products of their labor. They do not wish to have it 
known that they earn something for themselves, regarding 
female employment for pay in the same demeaning hght that 
it is viewed in our own aristocratic land. This has some- 
thing to do with the fashion of wearing long finger-nails, 
which largely obtains among the women. Of course the 
patrician long nail would prevent the finger from being used 
in plebeian straw-plaiting, hence there could be no suspicion 
of the possessor working surreptitiously. The straw for the 
Panama is brought over from the South American coast, in- 
deed nearly all the material, except for the very cheapest, is 
imported. I bought a handsome hat for one-sixth of what 
it would cost in New York. The women all appear to be 
busy ; the men seem willing to let them. 

No horses are to be hired, and we were indebted for the 
use of the best pair on the island to Captain Smith, who took 
us for a drive to the country-seat of- their owner, the Estate 
Grosira, a place having the characteristics of Pompeii in the 
arrangement of the house. The pavement of the cavcediitm 
is mosaic, of coral shells, the atrium is similar, and the only 
difference is in the penetralia, of modern appearance. We 
saw some curious masonry on the grounds, a large unfinished 
bath, of solid construction, after the Roman style, the pro- 
jector of which is unknown. The wells are like those seen in 
Palestine. The figure of Rebecca would have been entirely 
in keeping, but she wasn't there : Dinah was. Our guide 
told us that there were no snakes in Curacoa, but as he was 
speaking I observed one crawling in the grass through which 



268 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

we were walking. It was a mite of a thing, not over two 
inches long, and I suggested, from its color, that it might be 
a young coral snake, but the Captain said that there were no 
venomous serpents here, and the bite of the coral snake is 
deadly. He put his foot on the reptile and broke it in two, 
when both parts wriggled off in different directions. There 
was a split in the party, each probably claiming to be regular. 

Though the island is deficient in the matter of snakes, it 
makes up in scorpions, tarantulas, and centipedes. Captain 
Smith told- us of an occurrence which was highly interesting 
to the participants for a few minutes. Entering his house 
one afternoon, his wife, recently arrived from the North, said 
to him that she thought she felt something on her back, and 
asked him to see if there was anything there, and if there was 
to remove it. She had on a light peignoir. Approaching, 
he found that the "something" was an immense centipede. 
Now this reptile will not bite unless it is touched, and the 
problem with the Captain was how to remove it without ex- 
citing it to inflict its poisonous wound. He was afraid to in- 
form his wife of its character, for in her terror she might make 
som_e motion that would produce the dreaded action, so, ap- 
parently careless in her view, he suddenly seized the reptile 
and covering cloth in his grasp, tore the peignoir from his 
wife's shoulders, and cast it on the ground. This centipede 
was the largest he had ever seen. It was probably lurking in 
the garment when his wife put it on. Centipedes do not take 
kindly to interviews. They are like defeated candidates for 
ofiice, interrogated as to the causes of disaster. 

The road through which we drove was most unattractive, 
level, smooth, and well-kept, but dusty, and bordered by un- 
sightly cactus-trees, which are employed as division-fences and 
hedges. They give a dreary look to the highway, with its 
jagged roadsides and sterile paths. These trees can be used 



I 



CURA^OA. 269 

for no other purpose, the outer rim of wood cannot be worked, 
the pith will not burn, and the only merit I have heard 
claimed for it (which I forgot to mention in my last letter) is 
that it makes a cooling* embrocation in cases of fever. As 
there are many thousands of trees, with several gallons of 
febrifuge to a tree, and but few cases of fever, the supply 
largely exceeds the demand, and the cactus cannot, there- 
fore, be regarded as a valuable crop. In comparison, the 
Canada thistle is Hyperion to a satyr, for donkeys can eat it, 
while it isn't customary for the average donkey to go around 
with a portable forge to blow up a fire to simmer down cac- 
tus-juice into anti-febrile infusions. Then bees can sip sweets 
from the thistle blossom, and convert them into honey for 
Arabella Jane's luncheon ; likewise, out of this nettle, danger, 
we pluck this flower, safety ; it gives us, too, a handy quota- 
tion, " Nemo me iinpune lacessit " (used in some psoric connec- 
tion) — in fine, the thistle lays over the cactus by a large ma- 
jority. Some varieties of cacti, not trees, but plants and 
shrubs, produce gorgeous flowers, the graiidiflora for ex- 
ample. The aloe is of this family. Cochineal insects were 
formerly to be found on the leaves of some of these, but of 
late years they have dropped ofl", like Republican majorities 
since the war. The common cactus-tree, which fringes the 
roadway with abundant deformity, grows rapidly, without a 
root, a slip planted in the ground soon enlarging to a tree, 
holding on like a country cousin come to pay a short visit. 

We took a drive into the rural districts early in the morn- 
ing (as is the custom here, to avoid the heat of midday) with 
Mr. De Lima, some members of his family, and a party of 
friends ; visiting the estate of Mr. Jeudah Senior, called 
Zuikertuintze. (I wouldn't advise anybody to attempt to 
call it without holding a very strong hand.) We spent some 
hours in his orchard, a large plantation of fruit-trees, mango, 



270 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

sapadilla, sweet-tamarind, and grape-fruit, but a melancholy 
place. There was no lively freshness about it, such as one 
finds in our verdant orchards, where the vivacious leaves 
seem to be full of willing life and animation. Here the trees 
have the appearance of languid indifference, seeming to grow 
in lethargic fruition, as if they complied reluctantly with an 
enforced exertion, a sort of slavery of effort, in which they 
take no interest, and only bear their burden under compul- 
sion. The dry, crackling turf is in marked contrast with the 
elastic, moist sward which spreads in velvet carpeting under 
our fruit-trees at horhe, grateful to the eye, springing respon- 
sive to the foot. A picnic would be out of place in this 
parched fruit grove. 

I observed overhead some dark clouds which, to my un- 
tutored mind, betokened rain, but one of the gentlemen 
present said that these deceptive vapors came up every day 
for months at a stretch, laden with rainy promise, but never 
discharging a shower. However, I was not far out of the 
way in my anticipation. Before we returned to the house, 
four or five drops of rain fell, greatly to the surprise of the 
party, which I took as a personal compliment. It was like 
eiving- me three cheers. The clouds discovered a resident of 
the humid valley region, and sent down this sprinkle to salute 
a visitor from juicy Fort Schuyler, where, in very moist 
seasons, it rains occasionally. 

In Mr. Senior's mansion we learned something about the 
milk in the cocoa-nut, the juice of the green fruit, which we 
drank for the first time. I have often heard the superiority 
of this beverage vaunted, but it failed to strike us as pala- 
table, on the contrary it was cloying, if not insipid. A 
dash of schnapps improved it some ; but I cannot conscien- 
tiously recommend it as superior to milk-punch, with " a 
little hair " of nutmeg on the frothy crown. The Gilsey 



cuRAgoA. 271 

House Alderney, in charge of Dairyman Butler, gives better 
milk. 

We returned from Mr. Senior's Canaan, laden with milk in 
the cocoa, grapes, and fruits of different kinds, to Mr. De 
Lima's, where we breakfasted. The custom here is to take 
the meal at eleven o'clock, after the European, continental 
fashion, the first repast being a roll and cup of coffee. Mr. 
De Lima's house, which adjoins the Cathedral, is spacious, 
airy, and cheerful, the cooling trade-winds blowing into the 
easterly exposure of his dining-room windows every day in 
the year. It is sufficiently capacious to accommodate his 
numerous and interesting family, Avhich nearly filled the long 
table, at the head of which he sat, like a cheerful patriarch, 
with a long line of descendants on either side, interspersed on 
this occasion with guests, who did full justice to the sumptuous 
provision before them. The breakfast was served in courses, 
the first being a sweet soup, followed by zestful hung-beef, 
imported from Holland. Then came anchovies, which, Mr. 
De Lima remarked, were substituted for caviare. The Com- 
modore, pushing them over to me, said that they were an 
appropriate succedaneum — " caviare to the General." The 
demoralizing influence of Uncle John's facetiousness is affect- 
ing everybody. It will reach me next, and the first thing I 
know I shall be trying to get off jokes. 

I never sat down to a more lavish breakfast, for, in addi- 
tion to the solids, were fruits in profusion, wines of various 
kinds, liqueurs, and coffee. It was a full dejeihier- diner. 
Greatly to our regret, we were compelled to withdraw in the 
middle of the feast, before the tenth course had been served, 
as we had an engagement to call upon the Governor at 
noon. 

In the evening, Mr. and Mrs. Gaertse and Mrs. y'Bara 
dined with us aboard the yacht. Mrs. y'Bara is an American, 



272 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

daughter of Judge Russell, formerly United States Minister at 
Caracas, and wife of General y'Bara, who, in one of the revo- 
lutions which Venezuela gets up for amusement every year or 
so, was expatriated, and is now a professor in a Boston college. 
No doubt he will get back in a revolution. They come around 
like the recurrent hobby-horses at Rockaway Beach. We 
had obtained the necessary permit from the Governor to dis- 
play fireworks, and after dinner we rowed, in the Commo- 
dore's gig, up to the lagoon, and saluted the Dutch man-of- 
war with an exhibition of colored fires, repeating the display 
in front of the Governor's palace. I asked our fair exile if 
she were not afraid that she would be taken for ■d.filibnstera 
getting up a counter-revolution of some kind, but she an- 
swered that with the United States flag over her head she 
was afraid of nothing ; a plucky response, but I disliked to 
cool her patriotism by saying that the stars and stripes af- 
forded slight protection to the citizen abroad, unless he hap- 
pened to be in the safe retreat of an Embassy. 

Yesterday Governor Van den Brandhof visited the yacht, 
accompanied by his family and an officer of his staff". They 
all speak English- well, the Governor fluently, and their pro- 
longed visit formed an agreeable episode. The Governor is 
a man of fine presence and courteous manners, and appears 
to be highly esteemed by the inhabitants. In appearance he 
resembles somewhat the late General Burnside. His estima- 
ble lady, a leading member of the Dutch Reformed Church, 
is noted for her piety, and is foremost in all good works. It 
will not be improper for me to relate here an incident of the 
visit, which illustrates how manners and customs aff"ect the 
appearance of an object, viewed from diverse stand-points, in 
different countries. A custom which is regarded as. perfectly 
proper and innocent in one land, becomes blameful in the 
discordant view of another. 



cuRAgoA. 273 

While drinking a glass of wine with the Governor's party, 
the untraveled American idea suggested, no wine to chil- 
dren ; so Uncle John, addressing the Governor's lady, said : 
"Madam, shall I have the steward bring your son some 
lemonade? " It didn't occur to him that it would be right 
to offer wine to a lad of twelve years. 

" No, thank you," she replied, " I think he would prefer 
a glass of wine ; he is very fond of champagne." 

Think of it. Christian Mothers of America ! Hold up 
your hands in horror, ye epicene Crusaders of Ohio, cleaning 
out the infidel salooniers with brawny capra arms ! Shrink 
from the appalHng spectacle of a fond mother, a devout mem- 
ber of an evangelical Church, leading an edifying Christian 
life, an exemplar of domesticity and all womanly virtues — 
the first lady in the land, holding the poisoned cup to the 
lips of her innocent young son, encouraging him to worship 
the demon r-r-r-u-m by giving him a glass of champagne ! 
Carry the news to Lucy ! Proclaim it from the housetops of 
Fremont : there is a land where everybody drinks, and no- 
body gets drunk to make business for the reformers ! De- 
le7ida est Curaqoa ! 

The heterodox creed, which is fast encroaching on our 
faith, and loosing the bonds that held our forefathers to belief 
in the Bible, by lugging in unauthorized precepts of the 
Koran, finds no favor here. The people believe more majo- 
riim,. They are astonished when told that some Christians, 
with perverted ideas, regard drinking wine a sin, and it is 
hard to make them understand how Legislatures can pass 
laws to prohibit the manufacture and sale of spirituous liquors. 
One gentleman remarked that these places must be convict 
colonies of drunkards, where such prohibitive enactments 
were punitive laws. He couldn't understand why he should 
be deprived of his right to take a glass of wine because some- 



274 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

body else made criminal use of an innocent instrument. But 
they are greatly behind the age, in slow, simple, honest, 
virtuous, religious Curagoa. They ought to come to the 
United States to find out what is true morality in business 
and politics ; to see our honesty in religion, legislation, bank- 
ing, and commerce, and admire our scrupulous virtue in 
social life. 

The religion of the blacks, as I have said before, is Cath- 
olic, of the whites, mainly Dutch Reformed, with some Lu- 
therans. The Dutch Reformed is the established Church, and, 
as they founded it, I assume that the Dutch understand their 
own doctrines. There is some doubt of their knowledge, 
however, growing out of the belief that obtains in the Dutch 
Reformed Church with us. The Governor is the magnate of 
the Church here. He represents the Netherlands, where it 
originated ; he occupies the biggest pew in the meeting- 
house, and is regarded as the member in the highest standing. 
If he is not orthodox, where can an exponent of the true faith 
be found ? The Governor gives his receptions Sunday nights, 
at which they have wine, cards, and dancing. Think of an 
elder in the Dutch Reformed Church in New York opening a 
small game after Sunday evening service ! that is, unless he 
did it under the rose, and nobody knew it but he and his 
pals, who wouldn't give it away to the deacons. 

In connection with this question, the thought occurs : 
does the Omniscient eye wink charitably at the tergiversa- 
tions of Curagoa, while keeping a sharp lookout over less- 
favored America, held to strict accountability. Possibly the 
Dutchmen who invented the Reformed Church and formu- 
lated its belief, don't know what their own faith is, as well 
as the Americans, who bought a piece of it second-hand. 
Strange how climatic influences affect religion ! In fervid 
Curacoa, of a Sunday evening, the pious Dutch Reformer 



CURA^'OA. 275 

smokes his meerschaum pipe, and sips the fiery after-dinner 
cordial, in full view of passing Christians, and then goes in to 
play a game of sixty-six with his wife and children before re- 
tiring to kneel at his nightly prayers ; while in frigid Utica, 
if the church-member should indulge in these heathenish 
practices, his name would be marked Anathema, Maranatha, 
in the next list of that particular body of the elect, printed at 
the Herald job-office. The few operas and plays that drift 
this way are given Sunday ; it is the great day for dinners, 
parties, and balls ; it is the day of worship, rest, and recre- 
ation. 

But let us haste from the contemplation of this wicked- 
ness, which must fill with anguish the sensitive Christian soul, 
already tormented with doubting efforts to bolt Jonah and 
the whale, seasoned with Lot's wife. I ask pardon for pre- 
senting the repulsive picture here, but I must portray faith- 
fully what I have seen, even at the risk of shocking true piety 
with a view of this lamentable stubborn adherence, by the 
Curacoans, to the religious principles of the original Protes- 
tant Reformers, as displayed in the personal habits of Luther 
and Melancthon, without the modern improvements of Fran- 
cis Murphy. But while I submit to public opinion, which 
elevates the horn of the apostolical revivalist, I enter a pro- 
test against the abominable misuse of the word evangelist in 
our newspapers. The Evangelists are the inspired writers 
of the four Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. It 
was regarded as an oath of especial solemnity to swear by the 
holy evangelists. Now every blathering fellow who gets up 
revivals, and talks ungrammatically to the gaping multitude, 
is styled an evangelist. Imagine a man taking an oath, which 
he desires to be peculiarly impressive, on the blessed evangel- 
ists — Moody and Sankey. 

These phlegmatic islanders, clinging to their simple faith 



2/6 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

and moss-grown traditions, fail to appreciate the modern 
evolvement, that truth, which appears to them immutable, 
may be changed by new inventions and reforms, as the world 
progresses, and that Divine revelation ought to be subjected 
to the patent-laws, like reapers and mowers, sewing-machines 
and telephones. 

There are many handsome mulattoes in Curacoa, and the 
negroes are better-looking than any we have seen, except at 
Martinique. The women wear the same long, trailing gar- 
ments, and shuffle along with their shoes down at the heel — 
when they wear shoes. The dainty feet, bien-chausses, which 
glance through the streets of Martinique, are not to be seen. 
But there are here few of the Creoles, so numerous in the 
French island, and so hard to distinguish from the natives of 
diluted negro blood. Small children are dressed comfortably 
according to the weather. Some of the little ones are cos- 
tumed in undressed Curacoa " kid " skin, and nothing more. 
We saw a small chap, proudly arrayed solely in a pair of 
shoes, which he wore with a conscious sense of extraordinary 
magnificence of apparel. Out driving in the suburbs, the 
other day, we came across a festive young darky, clothed in 
a bestrided broomstick, who forged up to the side of the 
carriage, and raced with us some distance ; prancing gayly 
along, a juvenile Knight Desnudo, in sable armor, with his 
broomstick lance in rest, tilting through the dusty lists. 
Ladies seem to be utterly indifferent to this sparseness of 
clothing so novel to us. It is all a matter of habit. I learned 
in Paris how American ladies can become familiarized with 
sights, which would shock them at home but fail to attract 
attention there. The al fresco style is more fashionable in 
the country districts than in town. The young ones crawl 
out of the rural huts like black ants from a hill. This sim- 
plicity of attire saves mothers the trouble of calling in their 



cuRAgoA. 277 

children two or three times a day, to be washed, dressed, and 
spanked for getting the bib and tucker dirty, according to 
our unhealthy custom. Children ought to be permitted to 
roll around in the open air, even if they do soil their clothing. 
There is a great deal of health-sustenance in mud-pies. 

Everybody seems to be selling something in Curagoa, and 
the mystery is, with all sellers, where do the buyers come in. 
One will see in the outskirts a board stuck out with three or 
. four mangoes or half a dozen oranges for sale, and in town, 
the doorways are used for benches to display trifling articles. 
Perhaps they exchange with each other and do a barter busi- 
ness, or deal in " futures," without a delivery. 

The dock at which we are moored presents a constantly- 
changing assortment of sight-seers, the small boy being in 
the majority as usual. We bought from the crowd of peripa- 
tetic merchants some straw-hats and troupials, birds peculiar 
to the tropics, of brilliant plumage, something like the Balti- 
more oriole, and sweet singers. There was no temptation in 
the cigars at ninety cents a hundred, though they were im- 
ported. Black Jenny, dealer in birds, and brokeress in gen- 
eral merchandise, is a well-known character, and is spoken 
of by all as honest and reliable. Jenny has a knack of mak- 
ing herself useful. The steward being absent when some 
visitors came aboard, she appointed herself brevet-stewardess, 
without asking for confirmation, took charge of the pantry, 
and managed things in the most satisfactory manner. Jenny 
is a jewel — a black diamond. She is a judge of character. 
She picked out Uncle John as a good man. 

It is a motley assemblage on the dock, affording us much 
amusement in watching its shifting character and peculiari- 
ties. The variety of costume is remarkable. We longed for 
a photograph of one diminutive urchin, who stood two hours 
in the broiling sun, gazing entranced at the yacht. He was 



2/8 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

fragmentarily clad, en ciierpo de camisa, a hole, with a few 
straws braided around it, partially covered his head, on which 
rested a cigar-box, while under his arm was carried an empty 
bottle. He stood firm and immovable, not changing his 
position, nor joining in the clamor of the other boys, who 
played all sorts of pranks. He may have been posing for a 
statue representing the Genius of Curagoa. Uncle John ad- 
dressed him, in Dutch, interrogatively, Zw ei- 1 ag er ! hnt he 
made no response, maintaining strictly his wide-mouthed im- 
perturbability. At length Uncle John nodded significantly 
to him, and went below, saying, as his head sank in the com- 
panion-way, something that sounded like " soon tight." He 
soon reappeared on deck, wiping his lips, and, as he surveyed 
the bare legs of the boy, hummed : 

" Le bon roy Dagobert 
Avait mis sa ciilotte a I'envers." 

Hardly were the words out of his mouth, when the as- 
sembled ragtag-and-bobtail chorused out, as if by preconcert, 
" Onkel Jan ; Jeem peel ! " Either a job had been put up 
on the Domino King during his absence below ; or James' 
pills have become so popular in the West Indies, through his 
advertising, that children cry for them. 

Curagoa would be a paradise for our volunteer building 
committees, which meet on the sidewalks and sagely super- 
intend, with unheeded suggestion, the erection of new build- 
ings. If the men who gather around fallen horses in the 
street, and offer advice about buckles and straps, would come 
here, they would feel at home. No, there would be nothing 
for them to do. Horses don't fall down ; it is too much 
trouble to get up again. If anybody ever died any but a 
natural death, what a place it would be for the chronic coro- 
ner's juror ! 



cuRAgOA, 279 

Curagoa was discovered, in 1499, by Alonzo de Ojeda, 
one of the most brilliant and daring of the adventurers who 
sailed with Columbus on his second voyage. Americus Ves- 
pucius, who accompanied him, described the inhabitants as 
ignorant, but, at the same time, good-tempered and peaceable, 
though brutal in countenance and gestures — " la mas bestial e 
ignorante, pero mismo tienipo la mas benigna y pacifica de 
todas. They fill their mouths to overflowing with certain 
green herbs, which they chew like animals, and can hardly 
articulate words." By this he probably intended to describe 
the habit of chewing tobacco, which is American in our days, 
and may have taken its name, like the continent, from Ameri- 
cus, who discovered it. He says further, " hanging around 
their necks are necklaces, and they wear ear-rings," He de- 
scribes Curagoa as an island of giants on account of the extra- 
ordinary size of the inhabitants. This was an exaggeration, 
his mind having been filled with fabulous accounts of the 
Carib cannibals. There may have been giants in those days, 
but there are none here now. He also represents them as 
great fishermen and notes abundance of fish. 

Owing to the unrelenting hostility of the natives, Ojeda's 
efforts to colonize proved ineffectual. He devoted himself to 
the establishment of a colony on the mainland, called by 
the natives Coquibacoa, to which he gave the name of Vene- 
zuela (little Venice) from the appearance of the houses of a 
village erected on piles in the Gulf. 

Ojeda was an intrepid soldier, his valor often reaching the 
extent of recklessness. The stratagem by which he captured 
the powerful cacique Caonoba — by inducing him to put on a 
pair of polished manacles, representing them to be emblems 
of royal authority which came from the skies, then prevailing 
on him to mount behind him on his horse, when he rode 
away with his prisoner — illustrates, at once, the hardihood 



28o THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

and the treachery of the Spaniard in dealing with the Indian. 
Caonoba died a prisoner, intractable to the last ; a noble ex- 
ample of the fierce heroism of the proud Carib chieftain. 
Ojeda's own career ended in poverty, humiliation, and neg- 
lect. He died so poor that he did not leave money enough 
to pay for his interment, and his last request was that his body 
might be buried at the portal of the Convent of San Fran- 
cisco, in expiation of his past pride, so that every one who 
entered might tread upon his grave. 

The conduct of Ojeda's companion, the bloodthirsty Gon- 
zalvo de Ocampo, who oppressed Cura^oa with barbarous 
severity, was stained with the greatest atrocities. He even 
wanted to extirpate the Indians. As it was, they were re- 
duced to slavery under the shadow of the cross. As Olmeda 
said : "Si es verdad que nos qidtaron libertad, en cainbio 
die'ronnos religioiir How many outrages have been com- 
mitted in the name of Christianity ! 

The Emperor Charles V. condemned the inhabitants of 
Curacoa to slavery, as rebels against Spanish rule. The 
abdication of Charles V., and accession of his son, Philip II.; 
the career of the Duke of Alva in the Low Countries ; the 
patriotism of the Counts Egmont and Horn ; and the hostili- 
ties which were terminated by the Peace of Munster, in 1648, 
by which Curacoa was ceded to Holland, are all matters of 
history. Curagoa suffered severely during the war between 
France and Holland, in 1672. She was prosperous during 
our Revolutionary War, when her situation as a neutral port 
gave her commercial importance. During the French Revo- 
lution, the slaves rose in insurrection, fomented by the ex- 
ample of the insurgents in Hayti, but the uprising was 
speedily suppressed. During the general European war, in 
1799, an English protectorate was established, as a prudential 
defensive measure. When Holland desired the restoration 



1 



cuRAgoA. 281 

of her ascendancy in the island, England demurred. In 
1804, the English occupied Otrabanda, destroyed the Lutheran 
church there, and bombarded Willemstad, The island was 
unprosperous under English rule. After much negotiation, 
Cura^oa was finally ceded to Holland, by the Treaty of Paris, 
in 181 5 ; the Enghsh sailed for Jamaica, and the Dutch took 
formal possession, the following year. It seems that this 
rocky little island was a great bone of contention to warlike 
powers before the final cession to Holland. Simon Bolivar, 
the Liberator, resided here while he conducted his revolu- 
tionary operations for the liberation of South America. 

This is an affectionate, hospitable community, where 
wants are few and easily supplied ; where there are no mis- 
leading daily newspapers, no inquisitive telephone, no Good 
Templars ; where the hypocrite appears not, and the dema- 
gogue dare not show his face ; where there are no subscrip- 
tion-papers for political banners — where placid, blameless 
lives flow gently to unostentatious graves. It is a near ap- 
proach to Arcadian simplicity. The possession of forty 
thousand dollars makes one a very rich man ! It is no place 
for dentists. The richest in the land couldn't afibrd to have 
a tooth filled. Hence the teeth are good. Happy Curacoa ! 
Et nioi aussi ; fai ete en Arcadie. 



CHAPTER XXL 

RELIGIOUS SERVICES. 

Bird and Beast — Pretty Pets — Misty Fancies — A Cruel Wrong — Palm 
Sunday — The Thrilling Sea — Church Service — Ave Sanctissima — 
Prayer — The Sailor's Yarn — Resurgam. 

On Board Montauk, at Sea, Lat. i6°i2', Lon. 74°2^'. 
We left the harbor of Cura^oa on the morning of April 5th, 
with the harbor-master, Mr. Van Osnabergen, Captain Smith, 
and Mr. Gaertse aboard ; saluting the Dutch flag on the fort 
with colors as we passed out, having decided not to stay in 
Curagoa any longer. After a short sail, for the gratification 
of our guests, we put about and, leaving the gentlemen at the 
mouth of the harbor, turned our prow westward. A fresh 
employment to occupy the time presented itself, in the pas- 
sengers shipped, three troopials, a parrot, and a monkey. The 
delicate troopials belong in the saloon, and, being intended 
for presentation to some children at home, are the objects of 
much solicitude ; Uncle John and I devoting ourselves to their 
care with as much anxious assiduity as if they were them- 
selves the prospective pretty owners, instead of bright-plumed 
objects of vicarious tenderness. The plebeian parrot belongs 
to the steward, and the proletarian monkey to the sailing- 
master ; and both find their appropriate resting-place in the 
forecastle ; but all come on deck in the sunshine, with demo- 
cratic obliteration of caste distinction, where the clear whistle 
of the troopial, the harsh talking of the solemn parrot, and 



RELIGIOUS SERVICES. 283 

the gibbering of the tricksy monkey, mingle hke the various- 
priced applause of box, pit, and gallery in a theatre. The 
parrot is a bird of attainments, a linguist ; he speaks Spanish. 
The monkey is a ridiculous little animal, a marmoset, named 
by the sailing-master " Eddie," on account of his fancied re- 
semblance to some politician. To see Uncle John and I 
hostlering the troopials in the morning, giving them their 
breakfast before our own preliminary coffee is swallowed, is 
suggestive to the Commodore of Poll Sweedlepipes, with his 
bullfinch drawing rations from the miniature well. Indeed he 
has begun to call Uncle John " Poll," and I suppose I would 
be addressed as Young Bailey, if I measured less around the 
waist, and could wear becomingly a short jacket with bell- 
buttons. I was afraid he would call us Sairey Gamp and 
Betsy Prigg, but the bird-nurse idea didn't occur to him. He 
would if he had thought of it, for he hesitates at nothing, and 
treats us with jocose familiarity, as if he were one of us, in- 
stead of being merely the keeper of our boarding-house 
during this cruise. We don't mind his badinage about the 
birds. One of these days, when pets shall be joined to pets, 
when we deliver the troopials — to which we are a sort of 
bird-grandfather as it were — to their owners, we shall be 
repaid, by pleased glances from bright eyes, for all the care 
we are taking of them. I am trying to teach the troopials 
some army-calls, but with indifferent success ; they are Span- 
ish birds, and cannot be made to understand whisthng in 
English. A funny story is told of the kind of a time a mon- 
key and a parrot had in an amicable interview in a clergy- 
man's study, but no such disrobing has attended the peaceful 
communion of our bird and beast on deck ; which appear to 
be rehearsing for the millennium, where the parrot and the 
monkey shall lie down together. They make no hostile dem- 
onstrations, dwelling in peace and harmony, eating out of 



284 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

the same dish without greedy collision. The sailing-master 
is wrong in naming that monkey. He may resemble one in 
countenance, but he hasn't the habits of a Brooklyn politician. 
That statesman would never divide with the parrot ; he would 
grab all the spoils himself. 

Floating along with the softly-blowing trade-winds, which 
will continue until we reach the Gulf of Mexico, we think of 
our early reading of the adventures of Columbus in these 
seas ; of his persistence, his marvelous physical and moral 
courage and sublime devotion. We think of his erroneous 
pursuit of the far Cathay, his search for the terrestrial para- 
dise ; his endeavor to reach the mystic regions that existed 
only in the dreams of scholarly recluses, who spun theories 
from the vague legends brought by Crusaders from the Holy 
Land, and romances of travelers to the hazy dominions of 
Cubla Khan. The fabled Atlantis of Plato stretches out be- 
fore us, and the imaginary island of the Irish saint uprears in 
mountainous magnificence of phantasm. The traditional 
Island of the Seven Cities, with the Christian bishops, escaped 
from Moorish thralldom in Spain, might welcome us if we 
could find it ; but while we allow the imagination to dwell 
amid these entrancing fantasies, we prudently let the sailing- 
master guide the ship's course toward Kingston, Jamaica. 

Strange how news floats about the world in out-of-the-way 
nooks and corners, where it is borne by vagrant currents, to 
be picked up, waifs and strays of intelligence. While at 
Curagoa, Mr. Booth handed me a copy of an Amsterdam 
newspaper, which I glanced at, not expecting to see anything 
of interest to me, but the first thing that met my eye was an 
editorial reference to the death of Mr. D. C. Grove, of the 
Utica Observer. I was pained to learn of the unexpected 
departure of this amiable and upright gentleman. 

I also learned, from the same source, of the passage, by 



RELIGIOUS SERVICES. 285 

the House of Representatives, of the act to do justice to Gen- 
eral Fitz-John Porter, at which I was greatly rejoiced, for 
the Senate has already taken favorable action in his case, and 
will certainly concur in this most just measure. As I know 
personally that the President is friendly to General Porter, I 
feel confident, for the first time, that the vindication of this 
loyal, chivalrous, and gallant soldier is at hand. I have never 
doubted his ultimate justification, though I knew that mean 
and dishonest political partisanship would interfere to thwart 
the reparation due him for long years of unmerited suffering. 
Unfortunately, in our office-seeking land, where truth is cor- 
roded in the selfish engrossment of unscrupulous politics, and 
justice yields to partisan expediency, fair right often goes 
down before the felon blow of mercenary wrong. 

Yesterday was Palm Sunday. We had no green branches 
with which to deck the saloon, and were forced to be content 
with placing in the companion-way a spray of sweet-lemon 
(beloved of the Curacoan belle) as the only available out- 
ward sign of festal recognition. These recurring anniver- 
saries bring up many scenes of early life, clothed in the azure 
hue of enchanting distance. I recall the green boughs piled 
before the altar, for aspergillous benediction, and distribution 
among the worshipers by white-robed acolytes, in St. John's 
Church, long ago ; and I can hear the voice of Joseph Ar- 
nott in the recitative, " And a very great multitude spread 
their garments in the way ; others cut down branches from 
the trees and strewed them in the way. — And the multitudes 
that went before, and that followed, cried, saying (and here 
the choir came in with full chorus), Hosanna to the Son of 
David : Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord ; 
Hosanna in the highest ! " Good, simple-minded, pure- 
hearted Joseph has been many years singing that chorus (I 
don't think they would let him take the solo — he didn't do it 



286 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

well) in the celestial choir whose strains reach no mortal 
ears ; and, save one, all the voices that joined with his in the 
exultant strains on Palm Sunday morning, in that organ-loft, 
are heard there no more, but are silenced forever. 

Aboard this yacht, we are no avowed professors of relig- 
ion, who wear pretentious piety on the sleeve for doubting 
daws to peck at, but, with a firm faith in an overruling Prov- 
idence, we deem it proper to observe the Lord's Day with 
becoming reverence. It seems strange that one can be an 
atheist at sea. The symmetry of natural arrangement, the 
undeviating accuracy of eccentric planetary revolution, the 
orderly recurrence of the seasons, according to an unvarying 
system, leaving nothing to chance ; the unfailing indications 
which enable the mariner to navigate the pathless seas, 
guided by the heavenly chart, whose points are marked by 
an unerring hand — all bear intrinsic evidence of an Omnis- 
cient and Omnipresent power. Human science has invented 
instruments by which we are enabled to decipher the Divine 
handwriting. With the sextant and chronometer to explain 
the mapped firmament, the navigator can ascertain where he 
is sailing on the wide waters with almost as much precision 
as if he were traveling on land. The stars are the lights that 
point out his path by night, and the sun's rays guide him on 
his course by day. 

How any one can cling to the deck of a vessel in a tem- 
pest, with the tremendous waves towering tumultuonsly, 
threatening to overwhelm ; the winds roaring as if seeking to 
devour, with irresistible force, these poor atoms of matter ; 
and the elemental turmoil filling the mind with an idea of the 
awful grandeur of nature, impressing by contrast the helpless 
insignificance of man's greatest power, without feeling the 
august presence of Omnipotence, is something that I cannot 
understand. 



RELIGIOUS SERVICES. 28/. 

We can recognize the day set apart for Christian worship, 
though we may not be gathered within the confines of a con- 
secrated temple, with stoled priest to offer sacrifice, and 
choired voices to sing the praises of the Most High, with in- 
cense floating in adoring clouds, and all the devotional acces- 
sories to stimulate the payment of homage. These surround- 
ings should be employed to the greatest extent possible in 
Divine service. There is no building too magnificent, no 
work of genius in painting and sculpture too exalted, no 
music too fine, for the service of the Almighty. But these 
adjuncts are not always within reach ; and even the impres- 
siveness of the most imposing church ceremonial (in which 
spiritual devotion is sometimes lost in distracting material 
admiration) cannot appeal more strongly to the religious sen- 
timent than do the sublimities of the majestic sea. 

I remember some lines by either Horace or James Smith, 
authors of the " Rejected Addresses," which seem to be pe- 
culiarly applicable to the idea I have attempted to convey, 
inadequately, I fear, in my own language. 

" Not to the domes where crumbUng arch and column 
Attest the feebleness of mortal hand, 
But to that fane, most catholic and solemn. 
Which God hath planned ; 

To that cathedral, boundless as our wonder. 

Whose quenchless lamps the sun and moon supply ; 

Its choir the winds and waves ; its organ thunder; 
Its dome the sky." 

The stately ritual of the Church of England clothes, in 
dignified and appropriate language, the annunciation of faith, 
providing a common channel of devotion which all may em- 



288 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK, 

ploy profitably, although some who unite in the service may 
reject the tenets, and deny the authority, of the organization 
that ritualizes the pious aspirations of the heart. It is the 
custom with us to have this service — according to the Amer- 
ican Episcopal form — read, by either the Commodore or one 
of his guests, on Sundays. The duty often devolves on me. 
I am but an indi-Terent reader at best, and have had little prac- 
tice in this particular kind of recitation, yet I manage to ac- 
quit myself to the satisfaction of the auditors, for this reason : 
I lived a long time in the pleasant Utica avenue where Trinity 
Church sits venerable under the shade of ancient trees, and 
my ears became acclimated, if I may use the expression, to 
the sonorous chants that came hymning out through the 
tinted windows, imbuing with melody my green-leaved mem- 
ories of happy summer days in dear old Broad Street ; and 
so, when I utter the words of the church service, the clinging 
tones seem to blend with my voice in echoing rhythm. 

" The Lord is in his holy temple ; let all the earth keep 
silence before him." 

At night we sit on deck, in the jewel Hght of the stars : 

Blue dome besprent with diamond dust, 
Bright gleams the path by angels trod, 

Mid countless jewels, rich incrust, 
Outshines the monogram of God. 

And we sing for our vesper service, the exquisite song to 
the Virgin, which touches the sensibilities with pure and re- 
fining influence. 



RELIGIOUS SERVICES. 



289 



EVENING SONG TO THE VIRGIN, 



Esjtressivo. 



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to thee ; 



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bis, 



'Tis night - fall on the sea. 




290 



THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 



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RELIGIOUS SERVICES. 



291 



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Thou that hast look'd on death, . . . Aid 



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292 



THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 



no - - bis, The waves must rock., our sleep, 




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Ave sanctissiina, we lift our souls to thee, 
Ora pro nobis j 'tis nightfall on the sea. 
O thou whose virtues shine 

With brightest purity, 
Come, and each thought refine, 

Till pure like thee. 
Oh, save our souls from ill ; 

Guard thou our lives from fear ; 
Our hearts with pleasure fill : 

Sweet Mother, sweet Mother, hear. 
Ora pro nobis ; the waves must rock our sleep : 
Ora Mater J ora, star of the deep. 



RELIGIOUS SERVICES, 293 

It is but a faint and weakly strain, from the deck of our 
little yacht, but, in the infinite sounding-board of the empy- 
rean, it may be heard, distinct as if it came from some mighty 
chorus, with accompaniment of resonant organ and swelling 
orchestra. 

It must not be understood, however, that we are Sab- 
batarians, observing the day in the straight-laced, puritanical 
manner. We regard it, as its originators intended, as a day 
of rest, recreation, and religious devotion. No unnecessary 
labor is engaged in on Sunday (nor any other day, for that 
matter), but we spend the hours in a cheerful, decorous way, 
not much different from the habit on secular days, except 
that the familiar click of the shuffling domino is silent in the 
saloon. This abstention is a tribute of respect for the feel- 
ings of Uncle John, who, while not a precisian, says he was 
brought up to regard games on Sunday as wrong, and we 
yield to, without sympathizing with, his conscientious scru- 
ples. As in New York, where a great majority of the popu- 
lation does not believe in the rigorous, pharisaical observance 
of Sunday as the Sabbath, the minority rules — with this dif- 
ference, that here we hve up to our lav/, and there it is vio- 
lated. I tried to convince Uncle John that he was wrong, 
but there is no use of arguing with a man who says, "That's 
the way I was brought up." I may give that discussion in 
extenso hereafter. It is sufficient to say now, that my strong- 
est argument, showing the appropriateness of Sunday for the 
noble ' diversion of dominos, failed to move him. I said 
that Sunday is dies Domini^ and domino immediately follows 
domini. 

As a rule, sailors are superstitious, but not religiously in- 
clined, although many a rough, weather-beaten skipper car- 
ries his Bible to sea, and thumbs it as piously and unintelli- 
gently as the scripture-reading landsman who has more time 



294 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

to become muddled in its continued nebulous perusal. The 
sailor sees so much accomplished by able seamanship ; he 
relies so much upon the stout heart, the quick eye, and ready 
hand, that providential interposition is rarely invoked. The 
man at the wheel is not apt to call upon Hercules. Jack is 
more likely to depend upon his own efforts than on prayer. 
In a storm, hands are more useful than tongues, spending 
futile words on the unlistening tempest. If Jack should hear 
Deacon Sloggs, at prayer-meeting, asking the Almighty to 
perform a miracle and cure Brother Snoggs of fever, he would 
be inclined to say that quinine would do more good than 
prayer. Going down to the sea in ships makes men practical. 
The sailor's idea in this regard is well expressed in the follow- 
ing lines, repeated to me from memory by a yachtsman. I 
hope no clergyman will accuse me of heterodoxy, and assume, 
because I quote them, that I doubt the efficacy of prayer. I 
do not. I believe prayer exercises a most salutary influence 
— on the one who does the praying. As for its effect on 
the object of supplication, where supernatural interference 
with the usual course is invoked, that is another matter. 
Some Christians say the days of miracles have passed 
away, per omnia secida secidoriim, and if so, what is the use 
of expecting a favorable response to the prayer for Brother 
Snoggs' recovery ? Still it is all a matter of opinion — 
and faith. You have a variety of creeds to select from. 
You can adopt your own church; "you pays your money 
and you takes your choice." There are many mansions 
in the great house. Sectarian Christianity is like some im- 
mense variety-shop, where fresh fabrics are constantly ex- 
hibited in attractive display ; and the obsolete patterns are 
put on the back-shelves, until recurrent fashion brings them 
out again, to furbish new as novelties for succeeding gen- 
erations. 



RELIGIOUS SERVICES. 295 

Here is the sailor's hard, practical, common-sense, ma- 
terialistic view, couched in rugged homely phrase : 



THE sailor's yarn. 

Religion is all very well in its way, 

And handy maybe now and then, 
But prayin' is better for women and kids 

Than for us able-bodied men. 
As a parson you plays your game 

W^hen you preaches and sings and prays, 
And you'd be a darned fool if you didn't, 

Considerin' ye finds as it pays. 

I'm a sailor, sir, not a parson, 

A sanctified son of a gun ! 
And sailors is hard to tackle, 

As you'll find, sir, before I have done I 
You've spun me a yarn about heaven 

And things as I don't understand ; 
Now I'll tell you what happened 

One night on the Goodwin Sands ! 

'Twas a year ago come November, 

I was mate of the Ocean Belle, 
We wasn't far off from the Goodwins, 

And the night was as black as hell. 
The ship was old and rotten. 

The wind was a-blowin' a gale, 
And the way we was pitchin' and tossin' 

Would have turned a nigger pale. 

I knowed we was in for a dustin', 

But I didn't begin to funk, 
I went astarn to the Cap'n 

And I found him three parts drunk. 



296 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

He knowed just as well as I did 

There was nothin' more to be done ; 

So I went abaft to the others 
And I told them one by one. 

Well, some on 'em took to swearin', 

And some on 'em took to rum ; 
That's the way tars has of preparin' 

Their souls for kingdom come. 
But one on 'em slunk away, sir ! 

And he makes for the cabin stairs, 
And underneath we could hear him 

A-pipin' out his prayers. 



'Twarn't more nor an 'arf an hour, 

When on she goes with a thud, 
And the old ship she creaks and quivers 

With a creak fit to curdle your blood. 
But we didn't begin a funkin' 

And shoutin', " Thy will be done ! " 
We done a darned sight better ; 

We fired the minute gun. 

We passed then about an hour. 

But more than a week it seemed, 
When a somethin' we see'd on the water. 

And a hip-hurrah we screamed ; 
And over the roar of the waters 

Came back the answerin' cry, 
And the flash of the oars in the life-boat 

Told us that help was nigh. 

Well, to make a long story short, sir ! 

We'd all on us left the ship 
When she gives a sudden lurch, sir. 

And h'under she goes with a dip ! 



RELIGIOUS SERVICES, 29/ 

But when we looked at each other's faces 

In the light of the dawn of day, 
I'm darned if we hadn't forgotten 

The cove as went down to pray. 

Now the argyment may be rotten, 

Aye ! as rotten as that old ship, 
But if he hadn't been a prayin' 

He'd ha' gived Davy Jones the slip ; 
For them as took to swearin', 

And them as took to drink, 
Was saved by the Ramsgate life-boat, 

While he was left to sink. 

Jack's idea may be very well in its way, but if, as we are 
told, this earth is merely a place of probation to fit us for 
future reward, his deduction is erroneous, in a spiritualistic 
view. The Ramsgate life-boat saved the body for a little 
further sojourn here below, but the soul that sailed away to 
the eternal sea on the life-buoy of prayer, was better, released 
thus from the cares and temptations of a longer earthly voy- 
age. To the man who went down praying, the troubles and 
sorrows of this wearying world were ended, and, if there be 
truth in Holy Writ, he went opportunely, equipped for the 
happiness just begun. 

Death holds the great Court of Bankruptcy, where all 
cited to appear v.dpe off their debts as the feet cross the thresh- 
old. Who dies, pays. 

Life's an inn on a summer's day. 
Some do but breakfast and away, 
Others to dinner stay 

And are full fed . . . 
Large is his score who tarries all the day ; 
Who's stay's the shortest, has the least to pay. 



CHAPTER XXII. 

PORT ROYAL— KINGSTON. 

A Carib Canoe — Port Royal — -The Boatswain's Dulcet Cry — Fish-sere- 
nade — Kingston — Streets — Rodney : Nelson — Market — Shadowy 
Horse — Soldiers — Drive into Country — Virgil — Sugar-making — 
Rum — The Passover — Good Friday— The Jews — Nastis Hcbraicus. 

Kingston, Jamaica, April ii, 1884. 

The mountains of Jamaica arose from the sea to greet us, as 
we came on deck, the morning of the 8th, and sent aboard 
as messengers some yellow-striped birds, which settled on the 
rail and hovered in the rigging, making themselves as much 
at home as if they had been regularly invited by card. It is 
remarkable that these tiny wings should possess the strength 
to fly so far out to sea, and strange that they should foolishly 
engage in such profitless roamings, out of mere curiosity, but 
these birds have no sense ; they are feather-headed little 
things. 

In the afternoon, we reached the vicinity of Port Royal, 
the entrance harbor to Kingston, and after we had beaten 
about some time a pilot-boat approached, with the swiftness 
of a racing-shell. The pilot wore the conventional plug-hat, 
razeed to the dimensions of a low-crowned Derby. All the 
pilots encountered thus far are black. We have no prejudice 
on the score of color, and are as willing to have them guide 
us safely into port as if they were Caucasians, sang pttr. The 
boat was quite a curiosity, a canoe, thirty-seven feet long, 



PORT ROYAL — KINGSTON. 299 

dug out of the trunk of a tree, carrying six oars, and capable 
of being rowed seven knots an hour. I can now appreciate 
the speed of the canoes in which the Caribs of the Windward 
Islands made predatory excursions. The aborigines of Ja- 
maica resembled them in their warlike character. The canoe 
of the cacique, hollowed out, like this pilot-boat, from the 
trunk of a single tree, carved and highly ornamented, was an 
object of great pride to the owner. It was a kind of flag-ship 
to the chieftain. 

The natives resisted Columbus on his first appearance, 
when he discovered the island, but afterward became friendly. 
One of the caciques went aboard his ship and offered to ac- 
company him back to Spain to pay homage to Ferdinand and 
Isabella. Looking at this boat's crew, with their swart 
faces, brows bound with gay handkerchiefs, and features 
strongly marked with aboriginal characteristics, I could un- 
derstand how they were fearless warriors on the island, be- 
fore their degeneration by civilized contact, white subjuga- 
tion, and the introduction of African slavery. 

We cast anchor in Port Royal harbor shortly before sun- 
set, as there was not wind enough for us to reach Kingston 
that night. Here is stationed the English guard-ship, a white- 
coated sentinel standing in the barbacan of Kingston. The 
moon poured down pellucid beams in a shimmering flood, and 
the transmuted ship shone forth as if planked in mother-of- 
pearl, the rigging, electroplated by the argentiferous shower, 
glossy strands of frosted silver filigree. It might be the ala- 
bastered galley of a fairy queen, for the sound that comes 
hailing out from the vessel — moon-enchanted into Titania's 
massive, floating palace — is the cacophonous bray of Bottom. 
The voice of the boatswain is heard on the sea, and where 
else can that marvel of stridulence be encountered. To at- 
tempt a description of this sputtering dissonance would be 



300 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

useless. No idea of this climax of discordance can be con- 
veyed through the eye, the lacerated ear alone is capable of 
comprehending its incomparable strident culmination. It 
is a conglomeration of the screeching of a Texas owl ; the 
liowling of a Colorado panther ; the blast of an Avenue D 
fish-horn ; the stentorian recitative of the Exchange Place 
afternoon " extry " newsboy ; the choral mingling of the basso- 
profundo of a Kentucky mule, the baritone of a Sunday- 
school chorister, and the counter-tenor of a Vermont crow ; 
it is a blending of the objurgatory treble of house-cleaning 
time, with the snuffling alto of the village schoolmarm, and 
the bass of a raving Kansas stump-orator — all combining in 
the inimitable counterpoint of the hoarse boatswain's cry. I 
wonder who invented that mangling explosion of afflictive 
inharmony, that ruthless dynamition of voice. Nature was 
never guilty of any such enormity, for there is symmetry in 
all natural productions, except a carbuncle on the nose of the 
girl you love. It must have been produced by some process 
of vocal grafting, or some procreant extravagance that gen- 
erated a monster. Perhaps it is the whinny of the nightmare. 
If it had not pervaded all the navies of the world before his 
devastations in the fields of harmony, I should suspect Wagner. 
We sat long in the moon-bath, keeping a sharp lookout 
for the appearance of a shark-fin above the molten surface of 
the throbbing wave, for we had heard many blood-curdling 
tales of the ravenous monsters of Port Royal harbor, and 
would have liked to lure one alongside with a bit of Cincin- 
nati bait, to avenge the wrongs of sailors who had fallen vic- 
tims to the ferocious man-eaters in the story-books. But we 
saw no sharks, though many other fish frequently came to 
the surface, to take a breath of fresh night air, to look at the 
moon, and nod to zodiacal Pisces relations, winking at them 
from among the planets. 



PORT ROYAL — KINGSTON. 3OI 

A strange noise was heard, with monotonous reiteration, 
resembling somewhat the groaning of a distant whistling- 
buoy ; or the vesper hymn of a Wilmurt Lake bull-frog, heard 
with such distinctness in the perfect atmospheric purity which 
prevails in an elysian region of the North Woods, At first, 
we thought it proceeded from a snoring boatswain on the 
guard-ship, for we assumed that there must be some frag- 
ment of the day's hoarseness, lingering, like a remnant of 
fog, in the boatswain's throat, to make night hideous with 
nasal evolvement ; but, listening attentively, we found that 
it proceeded from beneath the deck. The Commodore was 
in the saloon at the time ; and Uncle John and I made up 
our minds that the grating noise was his singing, sotto voce, 
his favorite stirring sea-ditty, surcharged with stimulating 
salt-spray, which he has made a macaronian chant. 

Mater, puis-je sortir to swim ? 

Ja ! miafiglia car a / 
Pends tes Jiardcs sjcr P hickory limb, 

Y no onda in aqua / 

When he came on deck, and the noise continued as if 
directly under the keel, we were at a loss to account for it, 
until a quartermaster informed us that it was the saw-fish, 
which attaches itself to the bottom of a vessel and causes the 
sound, which can be heard for a long distance. It was some- 
thing like the tearing of a plank by a rip-saw, or the buzz of a 
planing-mill. I had great difftculty in ascertaining the exact 
name of this burr-voiced minstrel of the sea ; the quartermas- 
ter calling it a saw-fish, the steward, a drum-fish, the United 
States Consul at Kingston, a grunter. Captain Murray, a 
trumpet-fish, and somebody else, a bellows-fish. It doesn't 
matter to the fish what I call it, for it would make the same 
noise under any of its different names. Whether Republican, 



302 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

or Democrat, Independent, Greenbacker, Stalwart, Prohibi- 
tionist, or Labor-Reformer ; Tammany, Irving Hall, or 
County Democracy, it is only a matter of name. The wick- 
edness is the same, and the same qireer fish swim around and 
appear in these several harbors, changing from one to the 
other, as bait runs short in this organization or becomes 
more plentifully alluring in that. From its iterative noise, 
different names, and tendency to catch on, I should class this 
fish with the Reformers. 

The next morning we sailed up with a fresh land breeze 
and cast anchor in front of Kingston. Few vessels were in 
port. Steam is fast pushing sails aside, and a large steamer 
now does the work that once employed several sailing ves- 
sels. Kingston harbor no longer presents the appearance it 
bore when its anchorage was bespread with canvas. Prob- 
ably the tonnage is as great as formerly, but commerce does 
not display so much bustle : attenuation is the fashionable 
form. 

Kingston is a ramshackle old place, with narrow, ill-paved 
streets, and unattractive buildings, in various stages of din- 
giness, dilapidation, and disrepair. Many of the houses are 
unoccupied. These are not taxed : the law is, no tenant, no 
taxes. The occupants are required to pay assessments and 
water-rates. The saying, " an empty house is better than a 
bad tenant," may have originated here, anent dubious occu- 
pancy by an impecunious lessee. 

In 1882, a destructive conflagration swept over a wide ex- 
tent of the business part of the city, and but an inconsider- 
able portion has been rebuilt. The appearance of this sec- 
tion is unsightly ; an extent of unroofed walls, with here and 
there a new building set in amid a mass of debris, intensify- 
ing the desolation of the scene, aggravated by the ravages of 
a hurricane which caused great havoc in its path. The ine- 



PORT ROYAL — KINGSTON. 303 

qualities of the sidewalks would make an alpenstock a con- 
venient appendage to the pedestrian. They are as irregular 
as the habits of a Boston church elder in Paris. In some 
places the trottoir is even with the pave, in others it is built 
high above. Something like this condition was seen in 
Chicago during the period of wonderful house-raising, by- 
jack-screws, to the changed grade of the streets. The thor- 
oughfares are dirty and dusty, notwithstanding a faint effort 
is made to sprinkle them, which leave traces like the ineffec- 
tual discharge of a poorly-perforated pepper-box. 

A handsome monument to Admiral Rodney, who achieved 
a victory over the French fleet of De Grasse, in 1782, occu- 
pies a prominent position in the market square, near the 
landing-place at the principal dock. The great Nelson held 
a command here shortly before, and was engaged in the ex- 
pedition against San Juan de Nicaragua, in which he con- 
tracted a fever that nearly cost him his life. 

The market is clean and well-ventilated, with stone floors 
and neatly-arranged stalls for meat and vegetables. Occu- 
pants of stalls pay a fixed price per diem, proportioned to 
the quality of the meat vended. Placards on the walls cau- 
tion buyers against being cheated in weights. It reads : 
" Beware of cheats ! " This warning mJght be regarded to 
advantage when we come to " size up " our great men. The 
supply of vegetables was noticeable, particularly the yams, 
some of which were large enough for the backlog in an 
oldfashioned fireplace. The vendors were nearly all neg- 
resses. 

Telegraphy is cheap as compared with other West Indian 
islands, a dollar and a half a word to New York. Water is 
abundant and very cheap, a full supply for the yacht cost- 
ing but three dollars. Uncle John wondered why so much 
money was expended for vv^ater, but I smelt an old joke. 



304 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

revived by the prevalence of Jamaica rum. It was FalstafF's 
bread and sack again, which comes up every now and then 
in a new shape, Hke the PantagrueHsms, re-vamped from 
century to century. I must remonstrate with Uncle John on 
his habit of joking, and especially in the matter of old Joes. 
He says so many original, bright things, that it isn't neces- 
sary for him to rummage in the dust-bin to keep up a con- 
stant fire. 

Through the courtesy of Mr. Goldey, Chief Inspector of 
Customs, we were put down at the Club, which- we visited in 
search of the vin dit pays. It was found. 

We drove about the streets in the common vehicle of 
transport, called a 'Bus, a shaky concern with rheumatic 
springs, drawn by a melancholy horse, of composite, mediae- 
val architecture, the protuberant, bony angularity of which 
prompted the Commodore to inquire if his ordinary feed was 
oyster-shells. The grinning driver claimed that oats was the 
principal article of diet, but we were of the opinion that the 
food must be taken with a grain of salt. Perhaps Duke Hum- 
phrey furnishes the oats, or it may be a Baratarian feast, or 
an imaginative " kitchen," like the "potatoes and point" in 
Ireland, where a flitch of bacon is suspended from the ceiling 
and those gathered at the table point their potatoes at it, and 
then swallow the tubers, with the flavor of the smoked meat 
in their minds. Our horse must have looked at a bag of 
oats and munched sawdust. But he may have known enough 
to go to sleep when hungry ; he was asleep when we came 
along. Qiti dort, dine. (Was there ever such a fellow to 
sleep as the Parisian cocker /) We paid a dollar an hour for 
the use of the horse. That wheezy animal, with caverned 
flank, earned his fair market value in one drive. He looked 
like a fly that had enjoyed a private conference with a spider 
in his penetralia. He had no more freshness to him than the 



PORT ROYAL — KINGSTON. 305 

public garden, or park, a collection of droughty trees and des- 
iccated grass, that we christened Sahara. 

The streets swarm with black soldiers, the First West 
India Regiment, in zouave uniform, small but hardy-looking 
men, not unlike the French Chasseurs d' Afriqiie in appear- 
ance. They are reputed to be savage fighters. No doubt 
they get away with the rations, the only object of attack in 
these piping times of peace. Their barracks, on the hills 
just outside the city, are spacious buildings, with extensive 
grounds, apparently comfortable and convenient. The white 
troops (at present a regiment of Royal Scots is stationed 
here) are in cantonment at Newcastle, far up in the mountains, 
a picturesque situation, inaccessible to wheeled vehicles. 
Sailors being but indifferent equestrians, we concluded not to 
visit the camp on horseback. If we could have used the Com- 
modore's gig, we would have rowed up there. The moun- 
tain scenery is represented to be very fine, but it would have 
slight interest to one who has ascended Long's Peak, in the 
"Rockies," with Aleck Stetson, during a thunder-storm; 
that is — ascended to the base and peeped up at the Peak 
through rifts in the clouds, or would have done so had there 
been any rifts. It is said that the Newcastle cantonment is 
delightfully cool, even calling for blankets at night, but cold- 
ness presents no attraction in the way of novelty to one who 
has wintered in Central New York, with the thermometer 
struggling in the frigid embrace of below-zero. 

A drive out through the suburbs to the neighboring 
mountains, along dry roads, lined with trees bearing luxuriant 
layers of accumulated dust, was not particularly interesting. 
No rain has fallen for several weeks past. A majority of those 
we met in the road were negro women and children, bear- 
ing the usual head burden. The females seem to outnumber 
the males in these parts^ or else they are more given to gad- 



306 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

ding about. A curious thing was a ponderous three-wheeled 
cart, drawn by six oxen. Uncle John said it was a reminder 
of the pastoral age, and commenced talking about Ruth and 
Boaz, and quoting from the Bible ; but I gave him Tityre tu 
patul(E, and a few. little things from the Eclogues, though 
when I asked him, Quid faciat Icetas fegetes ? he handed me 
a paper of tobacco, though he knows I don't chew. He stood 
it pretty well, until I changed my tone and hurled at him, 
Anna virumque cano, when he surrendered at discretion. 
He can't rake up these old things on me. No quotations in 
mine, if you please. There is too much reading of musty 
books. Give us newspapers, robberies, rapes, and murders ! 
I want to talk about the Present, " let the dead Past bury its 
dead" (Longfellow — I don't claim it). What did the ignorant 
dead Past know about gas-stoves and stuffed ballot-boxes ? 
Therefore I never look back — never ! 

Then let us go ahead, to the Governor's residence, some 
miles inland, situated in a fertile plain among the hill tops ; 
reminding one of English rural scenery. The pastures con- 
tained choice cattle, imported from England. The game of 
lawn-tennis was in progress on the Governor's grounds. Ap- 
parently the great object of life with English colonists is to 
play lawn-tennis. We found it flourishing everywhere, from 
Bermuda to Jamaica. We shall lose it in the Spanish domain 
of Cuba, where it will be exchanged for the mild diversion 
of bull-fighting. A few drops of rain fell as we passed the 
environs, another slight pluvial tribute to the representative 
of juicy Fort Schuyler. An umbrella, hoisted to receive the 
aqueous salute, excited the risibilities of those we encount- 
ered in the road. But I am used to being laughed at. I 
once believed in reform and shouted for it, until I found my 
partners in the business selling short on their own account 
while I was buUing the market among the outsiders. Then 



PORT ROYAL — KINGSTON. 307 

I have antagonized Jay Gould in stocks, supposing all the 
time that I was on his side. Yes, I have been laughed at a 
good deal in my life. 

A description of the process of making sugar may be in- 
teresting to you, as I assume you know nothing about sugar- 
making except in the sap-bush among the sugar-maple trees. 
I will endeavor to describe it, as witnessed on the estate of 
Mr. John Sawyer, kindly explained to us by William Gofife, 
the colored acting bailiff, and Elias Murray, the white dis- 
tiller. 

The premises presented a busy appearance, something 
after the fashion of the English Harvest Home. Huge wains, 
drawn by oxen, were entering the yard, laden with masses of 
sugar-cane, cut from the adjoining fields. The harvesting 
season begins in January and lasts until May. One crop a 
year is cut here, but in St. Kitt's two are gathered. The 
cane is ground in a mill outside, something like an immense 
coffee-mill, the expressed juice flowing into pans beneath, 
whence it is pumped into tuns within the building. Here the 
specific saccharine gravity is tested by the saccharometer, 
and the quantity of refined lime required for clarification 
determined. The lime is then put in, producing an effect 
like yeast, causing the impurities and refuse matter to rise to 
the top. It is a sort of disturbing element, like an election 
in the United States, bringing the scum to the surface. Un- 
like ours, however, it is of some use, and is converted into 
rum. Much of ours runs to cold water. This agent was 
formerly used in the purification of wine ; Shakespeare, 
makes Falstaff complain of the undue quantity of lime in his 
sack. 

After the purification has been accomplished, the liquid 
is conducted into vats, where it is boiled and then run into 
shallow coolers, on which it solidifies. It is then shoveled 



308 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

into the hopper of a mill, where, by the centrifugal process, 
the constituents are disintegrated, the dry sugar falling into 
one receptacle, Avhile the liquid melasses drips into another. 
The melasses is sent to the adjoining distillery and made into 
rum, by the ordinary process of distillation, the condensation 
of vaporized spirit. The rum is colorless when distilled, and 
is tinged to the commercial tint by the use of burnt sugar. 
All the fuel used is what is called "trash," the dry residuum 
of sugar-cane after pressing. 

The product of Mr. Sawyer's estate this season is esti- 
mated at two hundred and fifty hogsheads, of about a ton 
each, or half a million pounds of sugar. The melasses from 
this quantity will yield twenty thousand gallons of rum. The 
excise duty is eight shillings a gallon, the producer receives 
about three shillings, so that the cost of a gallon of Jamaica 
rum in the distillery is two dollars and seventy-five cents. 
When to this is added the import duty of two dollars per gal- 
lon, the cost of handling and transportation, with the profits 
of the exporter, importer, and broker, it will be seen that 
genuine Jamaica rum is an expensive luxury in the United 
States, costing not less than five dollars a gallon to import. 
This should be borne in mind when it is offered in Kansas at 
a less cost. It cannot be genuine, it must be doctored by 
the druggist. These facts are furnished for the information 
of the Iowa Legislature, which devotes a large share of its 
valuable time to the discussion of the merits of rum ; the 
various spirituous liquors being grouped into that terse, 
generic designation in the vocabulary of vituperation. 

Returning, we were attracted by the sign of a roadside inn, 
"Branch of the American Hotel," and, with patriotic devo- 
tion, indulged in some soda-water, which proved to be of do- 
mestic manufacture. The only thing American about the 
place was a large chromo, representing the famous forum 



PORT ROYAL — KINGSTON. 309 

scene in Virginius, at the Fifth Avenue Theatre, \vith John 
McCullough in the title-role. But surely there could be ex- 
hibited no nobler specimen of the American than the gifted 
McCullough. 

No singing-birds are found here, if we except the solitaire, 
or Jamaica nightingale, which is heard only in the recesses 
of remote forests among the mountains. There are many 
birds of brilliant plumage, but the absence of songsters is a 
peculiarity of the tropics. Indeed there is nothing cheerful 
about them in any regard. 

We struck two holidays in Kingston, Maundy Thursday, 
when a few exceedingly good Christians go to church, and 
Good Friday, which is a close holiday, with entire cessation 
of business. Holy Thursday is coincident with the Passover, 
which is scrupulously observed among the Jews. Jewish ab- 
stention from commerce one day, followed by Christian in- 
termission the next, brought two religious observances into 
contact, and afforded an edifying exhibition of soldiers in 
different uniforms relieving guard in the Army of the Lord. 
There are about two thousand Jews in Kingston, and, as 
mercantile transactions are largely under their control, there 
was a noticeable quiescence in the shops of the principal 
commercial streets. Uncle John remarked that, with so 
many closed shutters, business seemed to be playing a hand- 
ful of blanks. He is prone to draw his illustrations from the 
game in which he is so proficient. The blinds were up, and 
I fancy the merchants were not inside, although the absence 
of the occupant cannot always be predicated of the closed 
front door of a Christian shop. We have the advantage in 
devout profession, but the Jews and Mahommedans beat us 
in rigorous observance. We preach, they practice. 

The exceptional social importance of the Israelites in 
Kingston is owing to the fact that Jamaica was settled while 



3IO THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

Cromwell ruled in England, and the Protector sympathized 
with the refugees from inquisitorial persecution in Spain and 
Portugal. The Puritans were not apt to countenance perse- 
cution, unless they had an investment in it on their own ac- 
count. There are two synagogues in Kingston, one for the 
Spanish and Portuguese, and one for the English and Ger- 
mans. 

We observed Good Friday, in order to conform to the 
usages of the country, and to manifest our gradual disinthrall- 
ment from the Puritanism of old New England, which en- 
joined the eating of meat on Good Friday, and prohibited 
minced-pies at Christmas, as tangible protests against papist- 
ical methods of salvation. But I had a narrow escape. I 
trusted to our steward, a native of Santa Cruz, an honest 
man and a good Catholic, and he, in a fit of absence of mind, 
placed chicken-soup before me at dinner. I am liable to be 
forgetful, but I had a reminder that day ; there was a Jew 
aboard, and my Lenten gorge rose against him warningly. 
Therefore I bethought myself in time, and touched not, tasted 
not, handled not the heretical broth. Imagine the undying 
remorse of that steward if, through his thoughtlessness, I had 
imperiled the salvation of my soul by eating chicken-soup on 
Good Friday ! 

Although the advent of the penitential day was a refresher 
to the religious animosity indoctrinated by Christian duty, 
worldly, time-serving courtesy was permitted to relax the 
strictness of orthodox hate, and we leniently checked the ebul- 
lition of devout wrath. We treated our guest with as much 
consideration as if he were not of the race that committed an 
abhorred deed, which afforded the amiable barons of the 
Middle Ages a justification for the lucrative business of den- 
tistry on Hebrew jaws. Gold-filling is expensive. It used 
to cost the wealthy Jews vast sums of money to save their 



r 



PORT ROYAL — KINGSTON, 31I 

teeth, yet it is safe to say that the expenditure to keep their 
teeth from being pulled out was trifling compared with what 
it costs us to put ours in. The most exacting Crusader, 
charging, sword in hand, couldn't vie with the New York den- 
tist, armed with the nerve-shocking patent-drill ; which may 
the horrent Furies take to their vengeful keeping ! say I. 

Charitable time has measurably assuaged our holy hor- 
ror, and righteous aversion prevents none of us from making 
a dollar or two in the company of Jews — whenever they will 
let us. Lapsing years draw out the sting of wounds,, yet 
when the Jew gets the best of us in a bargain (and he always 
does) we remember the sin of his blood, and regard him with 
sanctified Christian detestation. It cannot be expected, how- 
ever, that, after the lapse of centuries, this feeling should be 
so intense as when the cause for it was yet fresh. I, for ex- 
ample, would hardly entertain as much feeling in the matter 
as did my ancestors, dwelling in their marble palaces, heated 
by steam, with nickel-plated radiators — smoking Havana ci- 
gars, and playing croquet with maids of Erin, under the mis- 
tletoe, amid the Druid oaks of Ireland, when they read the 
startling intelligence, in the extra newspapers, peddled by the 
original Rothschild through the streets of Jerusalem, and sent 
to Enniskillen , by fast mail, on the limited express, via Jericho. 
Tolerant usage has blunted the keen edge of indignation, ex- 
cept in rare cases, like that of Judge Hilton, who, being an 
Irishman, refuses to be placated. 

I must confess to a great admiration for our erring brethren 
of the Hebrew persuasion. They are a strong-brained race. 
After all, the main object in life is money-getting ; to that 
end is every effort devoted. Cash is the thing, " the rest is 
all but leather or prunello." From the mightiest emperor, 
to the meanest beggar, all are after money. It flows from 
the poet's pen, and drips from the mired scoop of the night- 



312 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

man : it pays the bishop on his imposing episcopal throne, 
and the scurvy knave who struts on the dishonest rostrum 
of the demagogue. 

This proscribed race has been endowed with one of the 
greatest gifts conferred by a kind Providence — a nose. 
Therein Hes the financial success of the Jew. Samson, de- 
prived of his locks, was weak and powerless; cut off the nose 
of the modern Jew and he would have no advantage in 
money-making over the Christian, who, as it is, can hardly 
get a smell when there is a Jew around, except of " ole-clo." 
It doesn't require brains to do business ; it is all a matter of 
nose. The Jew proboscis will hook on somewhere. The 
concave has no show against the convex. It will do well 
enough for the priest, or doctor, the statesman, poet, orator, 
musician, or soldier, but it won't answer for the peddler and 
banker. Depend upon it, the great secret of success lies in 
nasal convexity, with corresponding "cheek." 

We ought not to be unreasonably prejudiced against the 
Jews because of the transgression of their forefathers, for we 
must bear in mind that it was committed by a lynch-law mob, 
at the instigation of self-seeking leaders. It would be im- 
possible for a like outrage to be perpetrated in our enlight- 
ened times ; such a thing as lynching is unknown among us. 
(This is what A. Ward called " sarkusm.") The mob ruled 
then ; the mob rules to-day, and is just as vindictive as when 
the former scribes and pharisees deluded the unthinking, 
boisterous multitude. And it still retains a leaning toward 
Barrabas. Whether composed of cowboys and rough frontiers- 
men, the unwashed and unkempt multitude, swiftly aveng- 
ing some crime red-handed ; or of shopkeepers, stock-brokers, 
grain-handlers, butter-prodders, or cotton-feelers, under the 
name of public opinion, it is the same aggregation of the 
savagery of human nature, seeking for some victim of blind 



PORT ROYAL — KINGSTON. 313 

and merciless persecution, to rend and tear until the appe- 
tite for denunciation is satiated. The Jews persecuted in Pal- 
estine, and have been the objects of retributive persecution 
ever since. 

I have great respect for the business capacity of the Jews. 
Their sanatory ordinances, enforced as religious laws, deserve 
the highest praise. There be fastidious persons who affect to 
turn up unarched noses at the frowsiness of the gaberdine, 
which has survived the wear and tear of centuries, but the 
ancient pocket is lined with gold, and that smells sweet no 
matter where it comes from. The Roman satirist Juvenal 
said, long before the Wall Street operator afflicted the earth, 
Liicri boiiits est odor ex re qiidlibet. 

With Avhich few judicious remarks, I leave the jtiewidus 
homo to mind his own business, take care of his own family, 
keep out of the alms-house, lend money to kings and poten- 
tates, and control the commerce of the world. 



CHAPTER XXIII. 

JAMAICA. 

Historical — Buccaneers — Representative Government — Emancipation — 
Native Americans — The Suffrage — Educational and Property Quali- 
fications — Humbug — Population — Productions — Coolies — Ceme- 
terial — Religious Divisions — Imports and Exports — Luxurious Bosh. 

Kingston, April ii, 1884. 

Jamaica (Indian name Yaymaca, signifying abundant rivers) 
is 144 miles long and 49 miles wide in its greatest extent. 
The island is mountainous, with ranges of considerable alti- 
tude, the highest peak of the Blue Mountains having an ele- 
vation of 7,360 feet. Columbus discovered Jamaica, during 
his second voyage, on May 3, 1494- It remained in Spanish 
possession until May 16, 1655, when it was captured by an 
English expedition commanded by Admiral Penn. Uncle 
John remarked, when the fact was stated, that the force of 
the English Penn was mightier than the Spanish horde, but I 
didn't think it was much of a joke, especially as the Commo- 
dore inquired if it was a pig-pen, in which case it would be 
properly styled stylographic. I hate puns, and if Uncle John 
doesn't stop making them I will quit the yacht as soon as we 
get to New York. The inveterate punster becomes a bore. 
True, Cicero was a great punster, and so was Shakespeare, 
but Sam Johnson detested these witticisms. I suppose my 
style is more like Johnson's than Shakespeare's. I never 
read much of Johnson, but I don't think there is a very strong 
resemblance between Shakespeare's writings and mine, ex- 




COCOA-PALM. 



\ 



JAMAICA. 3 I 5 

cept in the bad Latin. But this episodical digression has 
nothing to do with the history of Jamaica. 

The next year, there was a considerable English settle- 
ment, by emigrants from Bermuda, Barbados, and New 
England. Among the arrivals recorded this year, were one 
thousand girls and as many young men who had been " en- 
listed " in Ireland, and sent to the colony as good stock. 
Upon the restoration of Charles II., General D'Oyley was 
appointed Governor and empowered to elect a Council of 
twelve persons, who were authorized to pass acts for the gov- 
ernment of the Colony. Children born in Jamaica, of natural 
born English subjects, were declared to be free denizens of 
England. A House of Assembly was constituted and a rep- 
resentative government thus established at an early day. 
Grants of lands were made to several Maroons (slaves left by 
the Spaniards in the interior), and privileges were accorded 
them with a view to their conciliation. These proved inef- 
fectual. Juan De Bolas, one of this race who had been made 
colonel of a black regiment of militia, was killed by ambushed 
Maroons while on his way for their reduction. After their 
pacification, insurrection frequently broke out among them. 

Grave dissensions prevailed in the Legislative Assembly 
during the administration of Sir Thomas Modyford, who was 
called to account for issuing on his own responsibility com- 
missions to the privateers who swarmed in the Caribbean 
Sea. Among them was the famous Captain Morgan, whose 
buccaneering exploits formed the theme for horrible tales of 
rapine. He ravaged the Spanish possessions with fire and 
sword. He was knighted for his capture of Panama, and, 
some years afterward, succeeded Sir Thomas Lynch as Gov- 
ernor of Jamaica. Subsequently, he was sent to England for 
breaking the peace with the Spaniards, contrary to His Ma- 
jesty's express orders, but was released after three years' im- 



3l6 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

prisonment. Morgan cuts a great figure in the pirate story- 
books which used to be fashionable reading. I don't remember 
much about his piratical adventures which I read, but I have 
a vague idea about the connection of his name with Thurlow 
Weed's in some perilous enterprise. They may have raided 
together in Albany. One is liable to get these things mixed 
in the mind. But I believe Weed's Morgan was some other 
man. 

A spirit of independence seemed to animate the Colonial 
Assembly from the outset, for when the Earl of Carlisle (under 
James II.) arrived as Governor, and announced that the mode' 
of passing laws was to be changed to the system established 
in Ireland under the Poyning's act, tjie Assembly refused to 
accede to a curtailment of its liberties, and was dissolved. 
Another dissolution failed to accomplish the change. Colo- 
nel Samuel Long, the Chief Justice, was arrested and sent to 
England as a prisoner for advising the Assembly to resist, 
but he advocated the cause of the colonists so eloquently be- 
fore the Court that the new order was revoked, and the Earl 
of Carlisle was superseded by Sir Thomas Lynch, Avho, upon 
his arrival, announced that " His Majesty, upon the Assem- 
bly's humble address, was pleased to restore us our beloved 
form of making laws, wherein we enjoy, beyond dispute, all 
deliberative powers in our Assembly that the House of Com- 
mons enjoy in the House." 

In 1687, the Duke of Albemarle arrived as Governor, ac- 
companied by Father Churchill, a Roman Catholic priest, to 
convert the inhabitants to Catholicity, His medical attend- 
ant was Dr. Hans Sloane, the celebrated naturalist. The 
Duke soon engaged in a contest with the Assembly, and im- 
prisoned one of the members for quoting in debate the aphor- 
ism that the good of the people is the supreme law. He 
died shortly before the flight of James II. and the proclama- 



JAMAICA. , 317 

tion of William and Mary. In 1690, occurred the great 
earthquake which destroyed Port Royal, then the finest town 
in the West Indies. Whole streets were swallowed up by 
the opening of the earth, which, as it closed again, squeezed 
the people to death, and in this manner several were left with 
their heads above ground. The harbor was covered with 
floating dead bodies, which engendered a plague by their 
putrefaction. 

For the next twenty-five years, there was a succession of 
quarrels between the Council and the Assembly ; the negroes 
were rebellious, and intestine brawls rendered the protection 
of the coast so inefficient that the Picaroons of Cuba were 
able to invade the territory with impunity. In 1726, the for- 
midable Maroon insurrection, under the noted leader Cudjoe, 
broke out, and was suppressed with great difficulty. The 
result was a concession to the Maroons, who were granted 
freedom. The formidable insurgent Captain Cudjoe was ap- 
pointed their chief commander. In 1762, an expedition sailed 
from Port Royal and captured Havana, with immense booty. 
The naval victory of Rodney over De Grasse, who was on 
his way to join the Spaniards in the invasion of Jamaica, oc- 
curred the year before the breaking out of our Revolutionary 
War. In 1785, occurred a tremendous hurricane, from the 
results of which (and the restriction of trade with the United 
States) it was estimated that fifteen thousand negroes per- 
ished by famine. 

A stout resistance was offered by the Council and Assem- 
bly to the project of Mr. Wilberforce for the suppression of 
the slave trade. The value of the 250,000 slaves on the island 
was then estimated at $65,000,000. During the war in 
which England was involved with France and the United 
States, in 1812, the stoppage of exports created a financial 
depression, which compelled the Assembly to authorize the 



3l8 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

cutting out from the centre of the current coin a piece equal 
to twelve and a half per cent., which was circulated under 
the denomination of a "bit." The term bit, applied to the 
Spanish coin, value twelve and a half cents, current in the 
United States twenty-five years ago, probably came from this 
clipped piece. 

The island was greatly agitated, in 1823, by Mr. Canning's 
resolution calling for an amelioration of the condition of slaves 
in the British colonies. Included in his project were the 
abolition of Sunday markets, the use of the whip in the fields, 
and the exemption of women from corporal punishment un- 
der any circumstances. The recommendations were rejected 
by the Assembly, which declared that " the slave code was 
as complete in all its enactments as the nature of circumstan- 
ces would permit. " So intense was the hostility of the Assem- 
bly and slave-owners to the Imperial Government at this time, 
that a threat was made to " transfer their allegiance to the 
United States, or even to assert their independence after the 
manner of their continental neighbors." The excitement was 
so great that a slave insurrection broke out which caused 
some loss of life. 

After a long struggle, emancipation triumphed, and the 
British Parliament passed an act declaring that, on and after 
August I, 1834, all slaves should be free, subject to an inter- 
mediate apprenticeship of six years. At that time there were 
300,000 slaves in Jamaica. The Government appropriated 
$100,000,000 to compensate the owners. The apprenticeship 
system was abolished on August i, 1838, and absolute free- 
dom established. The Jamaica Assembly protested " before 
God and man " against Imperial interference in their affairs. 
The body was very sulky for a year or two, but eventually be- 
came reconciled and proceeded to business. One of the first 
acts passed was to legalize marriages by Dissenting ministers. 



JAMAICA. 319 

Asiatic cholera appeared for the first time in 1850, and 
was exceedingly virulent all over the island, some thirty-two 
thousand persons dying from the plague. About the same 
time, another negro insurrection was rumored, based upon 
the belief of the peasantry that the United States was about 
to take possession of the island and reduce the negroes to 
slavery. This rumor originated in some articles from Ameri- 
can newspapers which referred to the distressed condition of 
the island, and the benefit which would result from its annex- 
ation with Cuba to the United States. The last negro insur- 
rection was in 1865, promoted by some agitators who took 
advantage of the scarcity of food, following a severe drought, 
to inflame the passions of the blacks and declare a war of 
color. Martial law was declared and the rebellion crushed in 
a few days. The ringleaders were hanged. 

This year, the representative form of government, which 
had existed for two hundred years, was abolished and the ex- 
isting system established — administration by a Council ap- 
pointed by the Crown, eight members being officials holding 
certain colonial positions, and seven non-official. At present 
there are no non-official members. In November, 1882, the 
Governor, under instructions from the Imperial Government, 
asked the Council to pass a certain appropriation, which the 
official members voted for and the unofficial against. It was 
a vote of eight to seven, whereupon the unofficial members 
resigned, resenting the dictation of the office-holding power. 
Their places have not been filled. Jamaica yields to the 
progress of the age, and brings the eight to seven business 
into operation. 

The abolished representative system established a prop- 
erty qualification for voters ; a $30 per annum freehold, the 
receipt of an annual salary of $250 or over, the payment of a 
direct tax to the amount of $5j the payment or receipt of a 



320 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

rental of $100 a year, or the possession of invested money to 
the extent of $500. At the last general election, held in 1863, 
1,482 electors voted. The total registry of votes was 1,798, 
out of a population of 441,264. One person out of 245 was 
qualified, one out of 297 voted. In the same ratio of qualified 
electors to population, the voting body of New York City 
would consist of less than five thousand. What a. field for the 
worker in politics if there was but that number ! How the 
Halls would flourish ! With what anxiety would the broker 
in votes watch the tape, for we would have a voting Exchange 
and make the quotations regularly. All business runs to ex- 
changes lately. The man who could control his own vote 
would become a person of some consequence in the com- 
munity. Now he is a nobody. To amount to anything 
politically, you must let somebody else control your vote. 
Then every voter could have an office, and the " big pipes " 
and the Police and Fire Departments would lose their impor- 
tance as factors in politics. These employments would be 
relegated to the non-voters, the electors could do better. It 
would be a political millenium. 

Chronic grumblers, who find fault with our system be- 
cause it is liable to abuses, as all systems are, advocate the 
restriction of the elective franchise by the establishment of 
additional qualifications. Some favor a property endowment, 
some educational accomplishment. Others would restrict 
the franchise to the natural born citizen. The only genuine 
Americans, by the way, are the descendants of King Philip, 
Osceola, and Tecumseh, with those pleasant members of the 
industrial classes, opposed to the importation of foreign cheap 
labor, the Sioux, Comanches, and Modocs. Lafayette, Ro- 
chambeau, Steuben, Montgomery, Sullivan, Pulaski, and Barry 
were blarsted foreigners, who came over here and fought the 
native Americans, leagued with the British in trying to 



JAMAICA, 321 

prevent the colonists from achieving their independence. 
Down with the foreigners ! put none but Americans on 
guard ! was the cry of a Seneca Indian, with St. Leger at the 
battle of Oriskany, when he hurled a tomahawk and knocked 
a clay pipe from the teeth of Nick Herchheimer. Hurrah 
for Billy Bowlegs and Sitting Bull ! What right has Presi- 
dent Arthur, the son of an Irishman, to occupy the chair that 
belongs to Bear-face, Hole-in-the-snow, Skin-the-cat, or Old- 
man-afraid-of-his-mother-in-law ? The President's father was 
a fine old Irish gentleman, a clergyman and a scholar, with 
the courteous manners of the obsolete school. I have in my 
library a book which he wrote on the derivation of family 
names, which evinces much erudition and genealogical re- 
search. But he was Irish and couldn't be President of the 
United States, so he left the office to his son. John Kelly, 
the chieftain of the Tammany tribe of Indians, is native and 
to his manners born, and is eligible to the Presidency. He 
will not get there however. There are too many smaller 
men entitled to the nomination ; for mediocrity seems to be a 
qualification in these times. 

There are some who insist that a foreigner ought to wait 
twenty-one years after his arrival before he is entitled to vote, 
because the native born has to remain disfranchised for that 
period. The theory is that the male infant is as capable of 
reading the Constitution of the United States when he enters 
the world, as the foreigner when he lands on our shores ; 
that the two-day old baby of Dorothy Dobbins knows as 
much as Kossuth did when he reached Castle Garden. It 
is supposed, of course, that the probationary period is de- 
voted to a perusal of the Constitution, which requires twenty- 
one years for its mastery. I know several good natives who 
have been here twice that length of time, who haven't it by 
heart yet. I fear that there is great laxity in the study of this 



322 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

noble instrument. There are few, like my friend down the 
street (who has been mentioned for the Presidency, and I 
don't know any one who would make a more capable Chief 
Magistrate), who carry our Magna Charta around pasted in 
the crown of the hat, so that it will be always on the mind. 
My friend often changes hats,' of his own — for he doesn't 
affect old styles — but for that Constitution, with the legally 
adopted amendments, from time to time, his motto is, esto 
perpetiLa ! 

The machine politicians sneered at him because he dis- 
played this affection for the charter of our free government. 
We have not enough of respect for the fundamental law. 
There was some discussion about the Constitution when the 
hot-headed secessionists made judies of themselves in 1861, 
but its provisions were generally ignored. Respect for them 
now is contingent upon the interpretation of the personal 
interests of Courts, and the exigencies of partisanship. In 
our free land, laws are made to be broken, as witness the 
liquor laws and Sunday ordinances, and other rubbishy en- 
actments that leer derisively from the pages of the statute- 
books. I except lynch-law, which is executed with neatness 
and dispatch, and is not amenable to the proverbial criticism 
on the law's delays. 

The educational qualification implies that knowing how to 
read and write is education. The more one reads the news- 
papers, the less he knows about the definite issues of a politi- 
cal canvass. He learns a great deal about the personnel of 
politics, not entirely edifying. The Press is the great fog- 
compeller, although the merits of the Pulpit, as a popular 
mystifier, must not be overlooked in seeking for the sources 
of muddlement. 

If we are to have an educational qualification, there ought 
to be some gauge of the relative value of knowledge. It 



\ 



JAMAICA. 323 

would be unjust to clothe the man who can barely spell 
through the record of hangings, suicides, embezzlements, 
divorces, and indecent assaults, which form the staple of use- 
ful information for our children, with as much influence as he 
who can read Euripides in the ancient Irish, or write a treatise 
on the Greek roots. By Greek roots, I do not intecid to 
describe Irish potatoes, which, converted into bone and mus- 
cle, do a great deal of the voting, and become the objects of 
much tender solicitation at election time. Thus the voting 
should be cumulative, the learned professor having a vote 
for each language in which he is versed, the schoolmaster — • 
selected by partisan Boards of Education — having a voice 
according to a sliding-scale ; while the man who knows Web- 
ster's Dictionary by heart might be entitled to cast a cer- 
tain specified number, as a reward of merit, say one hundred. 
As for grammar, that has been a matter of no consequence 
in public schools and Congress for a long time past, and the 
grammarian might as well be disfranchised. 

So with the other qualification. If the franchise depends 
on the possession of property, some standard of value should 
be fixed so that there would be an equitable representation. 
The owner of one small dwelling-house ought not to have as 
much weight in elections as the possessor of lands, tenements, 
and hereditaments, stocks, bonds, and mortgages. This could 
be regulated by determining the minimum value of property 
entitling the owner to a vote. In view of the great wealth of 
our country, perhaps one hundred thousand dollars would not 
be out of the way, for, according to the franchise-reformers it 
is desirable to curtail the number of voters, universal suffrage 
being hable to abuse by putting the poor man on an equality 
with the rich. The voting standard ought to be relatively 
commensurate with the aggregate riches of the nation. It is 
a question whether any one .worth less than a cool hundred 



324 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

thousand should be allowed a voice in the government. We 
are such a rich people. I don't know why it is called cool, 
but that is the fashionable description. I know some chaps 
who would make it very hot with that sum; who, if they had 
it, would soon tinge the town with warm, crimson hue. I 
suggest this sum because I am losing my interest in politics, 
and really don't care whether I vote any more or not ; I have 
passed the period of delusion, and unselfishly rule myself out 
in fixing the minimum voting property qualification. Votes 
might be cast as they are in the election of trustees of a 
corporation, by shareholders, one vote for each one hundred 
thousand dollars. In that case, Mr. Vanderbilt would be 
entitled to two thousand votes, if the popular estimate of his 
wealth be correct. I have some doubt on this point, arising 
from his assessment by the Tax Commissioners, which makes 
it one hundred and ninety-nine millions or so less. Perhaps 
in this age of sham Vanderbilt is merely keeping up ap- 
pearances, making a show of wealth to get credit with his 
butcher. 

But the question arises. Under a democratic form of 
government is the suffrage an inherent right of the citizen or 
a privilege ? The theory under which we are acting is that it 
is inherent, that every man, howsoever humble, is entitled to 
a voice in the government by the people, of which he is an 
integrant. There should be no caste under our system. We 
read a great deal of nonsense about such and such a candi- 
date being supported by the better classes. Who are the 
better classes in our country ? Virtue is the true nobility, 
and it is questionable if the rich are much more virtuous than 
the poor. I know it isn't fashionable to say so, but in some 
things I display a bit of a crankiness — which consists in think- 
ing for one's self instead of buying ideas ready-made in the 
newspapers. We are apt to regard the rich man as more in- 



JAMAICA. 325 

telligent than the poor ; the lucky trader, speculator, or 
thimble-rigger, who does head-work, as endowed with more 
political discrimination than the artisan or laborer, who works 
v/ith his hands. This is a fallacy. The shop-keepers are more 
liable to be deceived than the mechanics, though both are 
cheated by the lawyers. Engrossed in business, they haven't 
as much time to reflect, and let newspapers do their thinking 
for them. On the contrary, the laborers think for them- 
selves. During the intervals of employment they discuss 
public affairs practically. There is a great deal of so-called 
horse-sense evolved around the tin-pails of the laboring men 
at their noonday meals. The operative, who lives on his 
daily wages, is better informed regarding the practical opera- 
tion of the tariff and the natural laws that aifect trade and 
commerce than the stock-broker, with eye fixed on the 
flying kites of Wall Street, brain busy inventing lies to affect 
the market, and fingers employed fumbling in the pockets of 
gullible dealers. 

But I am not setting up for a philosopher, or an adept in 
the mysteries of political economy. No, indeed ! I have 
no taste for humbug. By the way, the derivation of this 
word, so expressive in its description of a potent element in 
society, is curious. During the brief reign of James II., a 
base coin was issued from the Dublin Mint, of such low in- 
trinsic value that the twenty-shilling piece was worth but 
two-pence. The valueless metal was known among the Irish 
as Uim-bog, pronounced humbug, i.e., soft copper, or worth- 
less money. When presented, it was customary for those to 
whom it was offered to say, " that's itim-bog, you can't pass 
your humbug on me." Hence the word, which Irishmen 
understand so fully. They are the great masters of blarney. 
I am often amused to see some callow statesman on the stump, 
who pronounces McMahon, McMayne, and O'Donoughue, 



326 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

Dunnyoo, appealing to Irishmen as a class politically. How 
they laugh at him in their sleeves. Uim-bog ! 

The insignificant number of qualified voters during the 
period of representative government in Jamaica is accounted 
for by the great preponderance of poor negroes in the pop- 
ulation. The census of i88i gives the following classifica- 
tion : 

Blacks ; 444,186 

Colored 109,946 

Coolies 11,016 

Chinese 99 

Unclassified I3I25 

Whites *. . . 14,432 

580,804 

— 282,957 males and 297,847 females, only two and one-half 
per cent, white. The majority does not rule in Jamaica. 

The island is divided into three counties and fourteen 
parishes, governed locally by Boards of Magistrates. There 
are enough whites to fill all the offices, with a small reserve 
in case of death. It is to be assumed that there are no res- 
ignations. The names of officials, published in the " Hand- 
book," show that the girls and young men " listed " in Ire- 
land, a couple of centuries ago, did their duty to the country. 
They read like a division-list in the New York Board of Al- 
dermen, or the roll of delegates to a Republican City Con- 
vention. 

Taxes are light. The property tax on farm lands, culti- 
vated for sugar, coffise, grain, etc., is six cents an acre. For 
inferior lands, the tax is less. Taverns pay a license fee of 
$100 per annum in Kingston, and $50 elsewhere. Merchants 
pay a tax of $60, storekeepers $37.50, while newspaper pro- 
prietors are taxed but $7.50. Evidently journalism is not a 



JAMAICA. 327 

lucrative vocation, as it is in the rural districts of the United 
States. The customs tariff on importations is divided by the 
schedule into specific and ad valorem duties. Meats pay 
$3-75 per barrel, spirits $2.50 per gallon, horses $2.50 each. 
Asses come in free. We were not obliged to pay duty ; 
we came in as Dogberry. Prohibitionists, greenbackers, and 
owners of mining-stocks could be imported free, but there is 
no demand for them. The unenumerated articles pay an ad 
valorem duty of twelve and a half per cent. There is a 
large free list, including ice, diamonds, dogs, sarsaparilla, and 
mess-plate for army and navy officers. Some of the stamp 
duties are heavy. Banking corporations issuing notes pay 
$325 ; a barrister on his admission $75, and a solicitor, for 
his certificate, $500- A heavy solicitor tax would operate as 
a great relief to our country, overcharged by lawyers. We 
need more farmers. 

Postage on letters is four cents for a half-ounce, if prepaid, 
on newspapers, one cent ; double rates if not prepaid. The 
Public General Hospitals contain beds for 1,100 patients. 
The schools are good, maintained by Government grants, ac- 
cording to the attendance. In 1882, there were 53,336 pupils 
enrolled, and the grants to schools amounted to something 
like $90,000. The census of 1881 showed an attendance of 
67,408. Of the inhabitants, 115,418 can read and write, 115,- 
750 can read only. 

The constabulary consists of 695 men. The qualification 
for a constable is that he must not be less than five feet six 
inches high, and must measure thirty-two inches around the 
chest. He must be able to read and write. It is a semi- 
military police force, but the constables act as peace officers 
for the service of civil process as well. There is a reserve 
Rural Police force, to be used when called upon. The Head- 
men — one to every seven men — receive an annual salary of 



328 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

$60, and thirty-one cents a day when actuahy on duty. The 
regular constables are paid as follows : Privates, $250 ; Cor- 
porals, $275 ; Sergeants, $320 ; sub-Inspectors, $1,000 ; 
First-Class Inspectors, $2,000, and the Inspector-General, 
$4,000 per annum. There were 900 persons sentenced to 
the penitentiaries in 1882, one to ever 644 of the popula- 
tion. 

The coolie system, which I described in a letter from 
Trinidad, is in operation here. Of the 13,823 coolies, 8,126 
have completed the required ten years' residence and remain 
as colonists. The immigration has been dwindling for years 
and it is now practically ended. 

Kingston has a population of 38,566. The city is lighted 
with gas, which costs $3.75 per M. Water is abundant. 
The taxable rate is regulated by the rental value of the prop- 
erty ; the lowest tharge being $7.50 per annum, for a $30 
house, and the highest, $57 for a $750 house. The cheapest 
is allowed to use 100 gallons a day, the dearest, 1,000 
gallons. 

There is a large cemetery, containing forty-six acres, par- 
titioned off for the use of the several denominations, the 
Episcopalians occupying twenty-four acres, the paupers six, 
the Roman Catholics five ; the remaining eleven acres being 
assigned to the smaller denominations. The divergent re- 
ligionists (except the paupers, who are unclassified latitudi- 
narians) will start from different points in the cemetery, but 
it is probable they will all meet at the same gate in Heaven. 
It is probable, too, that he who left a towering monument, 
uprising from parterres of glowing flowers, in the graveyard 
will not get admission any quicker than the occupant of the 
unmarked, weed-covered, sinking mound. 

The Church of England was formerly endowed in this 
island, but was disestablished in 1870, after the Irish and 




FERN-PALM. 



JAMAICA. 329 

Canadian precedents. The sectarian division of the popula- 
tion is as follows : 

Church of England 1 16,224 

Baptists 82,403 

Wesleyans and Methodists 56,201 

Presbyterians 21,507 

Moravians 16,277 

Roman CathoHcs 11, 139 

CongregationaUsts 5, 365 

Christians 976 

Jews 2,535 

312,627 

It would seem, from the census returns, that there are 
268,177 souls, not present or accounted for in any religious 
fold. No doubt the negro fetich flourishes amid the cane- 
fields and has many of these among its worshipers. 

The Roman Catholic religion was not tolerated in Jamaica 
until the year 1792. I must make a note of this, and ask 
somebody, who knows, what became of the souls of those who 
died there before that year. This calls to mind the inscrip- 
tion on the gate of a town in Ireland, noticed by Mrs. Hall in 
her book : 

' ' May enter here the Atheist, 
Jew, or Turk, but no Papist." 

Under which some wit added, 

"Whoever wrote these Hnes, writ them well, 
The same are written on the gates of h 1." 

The addition has been ascribed to the caustic Dean Swift, 
Avho, as a clergyman of the Church of England, could afford 
this witticism in favor of Rome. 

Persons may become naturalized subjects, under the act 



330 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK 

of Charles II., by making application to the Governor, with 
certificates of two citizens that they intend to become bona 
fide residents. 

The value of exports in the year 1882 Avas $7,745)285 ; 
of imports, $6,610,310; showing a balance of trade in favor 
of Jamaica of $1, 134,975- Of the imports, $2,500,000 were 
food-stuffs, "and $2,000,000 clothing. The value of sugar ex- 
ported was $3,071,415, and rum, $1,478,225 ; coffee, pi- 
mento, dye-woods, and fruits, $2,500,000. The principal 
fruit cultivated is the banana, although the orange is pro- 
duced in large quantity. 

Labor is cheap. In Jamaica the ordinary wages for car- 
penters and bricklayers is eighty cents a day, laborers thirty- 
five cents, two mules and a driver, one dollar eighty-seven 
cents. Food costs about the same as with us, except beef, 
which is twelve cents a pound. Salted beef is twenty- one 
cents, salt pork sixteen, and fresh pork eighteen cents a 
pound. Clothing is cheap, a man's felt hat costing from 
sixty cents to a dollar and a half, ready-made shoes one to 
two dollars. 

Freemasonry flourishes. There are three Grand Lodges : 
the District Grand Lodge of Eastern Jamaica, the Provincial 
Grand Lodge of Scotland, and the Provincial Grand Mark Mas- 
ter's Lodge of England. Odd-fellowship has been introduced 
recently but has a membership of but one hundred and fifty. 
The Good Templars have been in existence for ten years, and 
have thirteen lodges, with a membership of eight hundred. 
As the annual product of rum is 2,500,000 gallons, this allows 
3,200 gallons for each Good Templar to do away with. 

The currency is sound, but one bank, the Colonial, being 
allowed to issue paper money. The paper in circulation 
amounts to $750,000. There is one street railway, which pays 
dividends of twelve per cent, per annum. These statistics 



JAMAICA. 331 

are obtained mainly from the " Handbook of Jamaica," a val- 
uable and exhaustive compilation of information, from offi- 
cial sources^ by Messrs. Sinclair and Fyfe, published at the 
Government Printing Establishment. 

We read in books of the luxury of the West Indies, form- 
ing an idea of a place where everything grows spontaneously, 
where the white inhabitants loll around, in cool linen suits, 
•sucking mint-juleps through a straw, or swinging in hammocks 
fanned by attendant negroes. I have visited English, French, 
and Dutch islands, and nowhere have I seen the evidence of 
what we would call comfort, except in Cura^oa, where they 
don't pretend to be rich. The wealthy planters, who for- 
merly went North with their families during the summer, and 
flashed through Saratoga, with blazing diamonds, in sump- 
tuous attire and handsome equipages, spending money with 
lavish hand, are seen there no more. They are rich no 
longer. The low price of sugar at present has something to 
do with the prevalent impecuniosity, but I imagine that there 
has been a gradual decay since the abolition of slavery. The 
planters refer mournfully to the " before times," by which 
they describe the old slave days, and contrast them Avith the 
hard lines of the present. It is possible that the condition of 
the negroes has been improved by emancipation, but the 
state of the owners has greatly deteriorated. Still I believe 
we always had an exaggerated notion of West Indian wealth 
and magnificence. There were never fine habitations on the 
sugar estates. The dwellings are generally of wood, two 
stories high, the family apartments in the upper, and sur- 
rounded by bare, uninviting verandas. I fancy that all the 
glowing descriptions of luxury, even in the " before times," 
were largely composed of bosh. 



CHAPTER XXIV. 

INTO THE GULF OF MEXICO. 

A Short Sail — Filibusters — Sirens — Sailor's Hornpipe — The Lone Fish- 
erman — New Line to Havana — Easter Sunday — A Miracle — Gulf of 
Mexico — Gallic Downfall — Chin-music — Havana. 

Havana, April 17, 1884. 
On the afternoon of April 12th, we prepared to set sail for 
Havana, but before departure took a short run around the 
harbor, accompanied by the U. S. Consul, Mr. Hoskinson, 
Mr. George Levy, editor of the Colonial Standard, and Mr. 
De Cordova, with their families. Mr. De Cordova, to whom 
Ave had letters from our jolly yachting and fishing companion, 
Mr. S. A. Henry, of New York, was a welcome visitor during 
many hours of our stay in Kingston, He is a native of Ja- 
maica, a magistrate and capable man of affairs, who, through 
his New York relations, is closely identified with American 
interests. He gave interesting accounts of several insurrec- 
tionary movements in Cuba, regarding which he appeared to 
be peculiarly well informed from recondite sources. He was 
the consignee of the ill-fated Virginius, which cleared from 
Kingston for Hayti, where she touched, and then proceeded 
to Cuba. The expedition was frightened away from the 
coast, pursued by a Spanish gunboat, and the vessel cap- 
tured on the high seas, in contravention of the naval comity 
of nations. The filibusters were all condemned to death at 
Havana, but Mr. De Cordova, in Kingston, was instrumental 



INTO THE GULF OF MEXICO. 333 

in saving some sixty lives. Fifteen of the adventurers, in- 
cluding Colonel Ryan and, I believe, Goicuria, had been 
shot, and the others were under sentence of death, when Mr. 
De Cordova appealed to the Commodore commanding the 
British fleet to interfere. At his earnest solicitation, the 
Commodore telegraphed the Captain-General of Cuba, asking 
for a stay of execution, and then despatched a frigate to Ha- 
vana. The result was that the American filibusters escaped 
through English intervention. They deserved some punish- 
ment for their intended insurgency, but the intervention of 
the British Commodore, at Mr. De Cordova's intercession, 
was a creditable, humane act. England shields her own sub- 
jects, and occasionally stretches a protecting arm over others ; 
the United States is too busy concocting schemes for par- 
tisan ascendancy to protect our citizens abroad. In that re- 
gard, as well as some others, the British subject enjoys an 
advantage over the American citizen. 

After the debarkation of our guests, we dropped down 
toward the sea, and cast anchor in Port Royal harbor, to remain 
through the night, ready to sail in the morning. I will say 
nothing about the moon. I have already advertised moon- 
shine enough gratuitously. I venture to remark, however, 
that Madame Cynthia beamed as usual, calmly gracious and 
obliging. We heard the singing fish again, which caused 
Uncle John to remark that they must be drummers for a 
hardware house, selling saw-files by illustrative example. 
Fancy might have formed the submarine lullaby into the 
song the sirens sang, which was a puzzling question to the 
ancients, according to Dr. Sir Thomas Browne. I am not 
familiar with the siren voice, but if she was good-looking as 
represented, we would condone her musical oftense in the 
charm of beauty, and attribute the grating hoarseness to a 
bad cold, caught by getting wet feet coming home from a 



334 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

tennis party without water-proof overshoes. Or it might 
have been a melodious mermaid. They were not noted for 
their musical ability, though they did sing sitting on a rock. 
These fascinating denizens of the deep were made up princi- 
pally of long hair and looking-glasses, if I remember aright. 
They were not represented as wearing hooped-skirts, yet 
" tilters " were in fashion about the time I read up on the 
seductive mermaid. I don't believe in mermaids any more, 
nor have I much faith in any other maids. Strange how we 
lose confidence as we grow old and, drifting by unnoticed, 
suffer the pangs of inappreciation. 

They were having a jolly break-down in the forecastle of 
the man-of-war before tattoo sounded. A fiddle scraped out 
lilting jig tunes, and we could hear the heel-and-toe and 
double-shuffle of the sailor's hornpipe lashing the deck, at- 
tended by ringing peals of laughter and obstreporous shouts 
of applause as some notable exhibition of skill excited en- 
thusiasm. The exuberant merriment of the hilarious blue- 
jackets sounded pleasantly, skimming over the water, and the 
lively melodies still jingled in the ear as we turned in for the 
night. 

We had intended to sail at sunrise the next morning, 
mais rhomnie propose, and proposals are not always accepted. 
Our excuse for failing to carry out the intention was that we 
were out of wind. It didn't occur to the sailing-master to 
have me write a letter. I tried to raise the wind by getting 
Uncle John to endorse my note, but he declined, saying that 
I couldn't get it discounted in the fishing banks of Port 
Royal ; adding sardonically that ordinary banks of comm.erce 
were institutions intended to accommodate when you didn't 
need help, and to shut down when you were hard up. We 
had just breeze enough to crawl out of the harbor, and then 
we lay becalmed for some time, drifting back with the tide 



INTO THE GULF OF MEXICO. 335 

until we feared we would have to drop anchor or go ashore. 
The popular alternative proposition, Which would you rather, 
or go a-fishing ? was answered by our going a-fishing. A 
black fisherman was in his boat hard by, and Uncle John, to 
have some sport, trolled out at him, in his gay and debonair 
manner, as if he were really enjoying the situation, the 
barcarolle, 

Oh pescator dell onda, 
Fidelin, 

Vieni pescar in qtia 

Colla bella sua barca. 

Colla bella se ne va, 
Fideliti, I in, Id. 

To which the stolid pescator answered gruffly, " I don't want 
none of your fiddlin': Cheese it ! " Then when Uncle John 
rejoined, in the playful Italian manner of Plunger Walton's 
street-uncleaning sbirri, " Parmesan is just the cheese," the 
stultified angler rowed to within a short distance of the yacht 
and, producing an accordeon, commenced playing " Sweet 
Violets." " Get out of that ! or I'll shoot you ! " shouted the 
outraged Commodore, whereupon the truculent fish-fiend de- 
liberately changed the tune, and started in on " See that my 
Grave's kept Green." We fled from the deck precipitately, 
plunged below, and stopped our mouths to deafen sound. 

After the departure of the lone fisherman, we embarked 
on our own little piscatorial venture and met with unbounded 
unsuccess. We had made great preparation for this amuse- 
ment, and had shipped as much tackle as would have equipped 
an expedition searching for the needle pointing at the North 
Pole. In the outfit, was a new line of extraordinary merit, 
from which great things were expected, like the member of 
Congress serving his first term. It was supposed to be as 
tough as the conscience of a custom-house broker, but, 



336 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

launched for the first time in these waters, it was carried off 
entire, tackled by some big fish with a fine taste for superior 
new lines. Uncle John suggested that it may have been taken 
by the sea-serpent to run a new line between Kingston and 
Havana. We caught no fish, but the one that carried off our 
line was a big one, you may be sure. One remarkable thing 
about fishing is, that, like financial criminals, the big ones 
always get off. At last a fine breeze sprang up, and we 
started westward to make a peaceful descent on Cuba. 

Easter Sunday opened clear and bright. We were not 
up early enough to see the sun dance, besides, out of respect 
for Uncle John's religious prejudices, we wouldn't like to 
countenance dancing on the Sabbath. That superstition of 
the sun's dancing for joy Easter morning is very beautiful. 
I wish I could believe it now, as I did in childhood, when, at 
the instance of my warm-hearted father (who freshly pre- 
served his youthful traditions, beautifying the dullness and 
smoothing the asperities of life, tinging his long course with 
fanciful, softening embellishment), I used to get up at sun- 
rise, and, gazing intently at the wavering atmospheric re- 
fraction, imagine that I could see the sun dance. But it 
wasn't a puritanical sun he showed me. He had no connec- 
tion with that concern. That sober, steady-going, practical, 
unsentimental luminary wouldn't indulge in festal prancing 
around the horizon on the Lord's Day. 

We had an Easter miracle of our own for home consump- 
tion. The large chicken-coop on deck that carried a full 
assortment of fowls when we left New York, showed a 
gradual diminution as we proceeded, until now there was 
left but one hen and a venerable old cock. Looking into the 
coop when we came on deck, we espied an egg, the first one 
laid during the whole voyage. It was a strange coincidence 
that the only egg laid was on Easter day. I have indulged 



INTO THE GULF OF MEXICO. 337 

some fancies in these letters, which must not be accepted 
Hterally, but the facts stated are strictly accurate, and I state 
as a fact now that the hen actually laid that egg Easter Sun- 
day morning. It formed part of the breakfast dish of ham 
and eggs appropriate to the day. It was a fresh egg, too, 
although laid on salt ocean brine. Nor was the miracle 
manufactured to order, like some marvels, such as the 
sacred exhalations from the cave at Delphi — which I believe 
were produced by moonshiners distilling whisky illicitly 
under ground to evade the internal revenue tax — but a 
genuine manifestation, produced without human agency. Yet, 
like all truths impugned by imitative falsehood, a heretical 
forgery made its appearance to throw discredit on the veri- 
table miracle. After breakfast, an egg was found in the cage 
of one of Uncle John's troopials, nearly as large as the bird 
himself, with a cochineal-colored shell and, imradile dictu / , 
hard-boiled. The Commodore accounted for this last pecu- 
liarity by saying that, as it was hot weather, it might be the 
habit of tropical birds to lay boiled eggs. It was undoubt- 
edly a simulated miracle. When I was a boy, engaged 
in the trade of butting eggs at Paas, I often saw invincible 
butters of porcelain and glazed chalk cause havoc among 
honest, thin-shelled adversaries. I suppose the porcelains 
came from Shanghai, or were Cochin-China's perhaps. 

No Easter lilies were aboard with which to garnish the 
table, but the lily of memory decked our backward glance 
with pure white petals. We made many surmises as to the 
state of the weather in New York, kindly hoping that the 
sun beamed propitiously on Fifth Avenue, to enable the 
ladies to wear their Spring bonnets, for which devout reward 
and culmination of Lenten self-denial the festival of Easter 
was instituted. In honor of the holiday of new clothing. 
Uncle John appeared in a virgin cravat of immaculate 



338 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

white silk, quaintly embroidered with delicate flowers of 
spring-time. The more prosaic Commodore ordered for dinner 
potage a la printanicre. I read the Bible. 

Being of an argumentative habit on board the Montauk, and 
harboring antagonistic views on nearly every topic advanced, 
except on the question of frequent eating and drinking, we 
engage in prolonged discussions during the long hours of 
sailing, particularly on Sundays, Avhen games are intermitted. 
One prolific theme, upon which there is an irreconcilable dif- 
ference of opinion, is the question of Sunday observance ; 
regarding which I hold the views that prevail in continental 
Europe, while Uncle John steadfastly adheres to the tradi- 
tional puritanical idea which obtains in America. Some pun- 
gent criticism of our vicious conduct in attending the Opera, 
Sunday night at Martinique, opened up a wide field of de- 
bate, which we planted thickly with words, until I flattered 
myself I sowed up Uncle John. He said it was because my 
lack of veneration was harrowing to him, but I knew it was 
because I raked up too many authorities. But what we said 
will fill a letter, and I shall issue an extra containing our argu- 
ments, v/hich I will forward when I find time. 

About midnight of April i6th, we made the light of Cape 
Antonio, and, after keeping on our course with it in view for 
some hours, jibed and entered the Gulf of Mexico. We had 
sailed the entire length and breadth of the Caribbean Sea, 
and fine water it is to sail in, with the trade-winds to keep 
along gently, but it is said to be nasty in a storm. We had 
no curiosity about that, however, being satisfied with our 
tempestuous experience in the Gulf Stream. If I were a bet- 
ting man, I would back the Gulf against the Sea for any 
amount within my means, a couple of millions in mining 
stocks, or the equivalent in cash, say a dollar and a half, if 
that would suit. Here we bade adieu to the sedate trade- 



INTO THE GULF OF MEXICO. 339 

winds, entertaining a very high opinion of them, which had 
improved on acquaintance, for our first interview was unsatis- 
factory and turbulent, through the interference of meddle- 
some mountain breezes, which made irruptions from the 
pugnacious Carib islands. 

We expected to reach Havana by daybreak, but soon af- 
ter entering the Gulf the wind died out, like an asthmatic 
breath, and we lay becalmed all night. Nor was it any bet- 
ter in the morning ; there was hardly air enough to ripple 
the surface of the water, and when the land breeze did come, 
in intermittent puffs, it was dead ahead, and we were com- 
pelled to beat about in desultory, futile wanderings. Super- 
stition might have attributed the thwarting winds to the 
vengeful deities, who resented the sacrifice, to ignoble chicken- 
soup, of the brave old cock, whose clarion notes had defied 
the shrieking winds clamoring for our destruction during the 
gale-y days (forgive me ; it is Uncle John's) of our first week 
of the cruise. Among the Symbols of Pythagoras, was one 
that advised the breeding of a cock but forbade its sacrifice,' 
for it was sacred to the sun and moon. But our steward is 
not a disciple of Pythagoras, although, in conjunction with 
the cook, he devotes himself to much close contemplation of 
the demands of our esoteric philosophy. 

This mature bird was the last occupant of the coop, that 
had left New York with a large and highly respectable family, 
all related by marriage, but had gradually fallen into a de- 
cline before the consumption of the saloon, until at last this 
tough old cock trode alone the banquet coop deserted. It 
was too bad to slay the gallant trumpeter. Through all the 
roarings of the gale, while we lay imprisoned below, his 
voice was heard every morning on deck, boldl}'' proclaiming 
his contempt of danger, confidently expressing his opinion 
that it wasn't much of a blow, and singing hearty canticles, 



340 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK, 

cheerful and reassuring amid the din of elemental battle. 
But the corn gave out and the poor cock lost his corn crop. 
There was plenty of corn-juice aboard, but he was a practical 
teetotaler and drank nothing but cold water, and so fell a 
victim to unreasonable prejudice. He died a game cock, his 
last crow was delivered in the face of the steward, a moment 
before the "wringing of his defiant neck. Uncle John said the 
sound, would haunt us as we sipped the soup into which the 
cock would be resolved at dinner — in fact, we would be eating 
crow. The Commodore commented philosophically that it 
might be a useful tentative exercise of our palates for the ap- 
proaching Presidential election. Uncle John unfeelingly per- 
petrated a number of bad puns on this bird. The worst, by 
all odds, was the query, whether cock-crows by any other 
name would sound as sweet ? The invincible Major Domino 
is becoming unendurable. Fortunately we shall be in New 
York ere long. I only give this specimen of verbal atrocity 
to show the depth of depravity one may reach by unre- 
strained indulgence in the punning propensity. 

It was tedious drifting along the coast waiting for the 
land breeze, but at last it came out, with a favoring slant, and 
shortly after noon we entered the sluggish harbor of Havana. 
No salute was fired as we passed surly Morro Castle. If the 
ignorant commandant of that fortress had known that the 
Montauk was bearing proudly on her deck the feiL Foreman 
of 29 Hose, he would have refused to salute just the same. 
Notwithstanding their vaunted punctilio, these overbearing 
Spanish soldiers are strangely unobservant in the payment 
of honors to the manes of the old Volunteer Fire Department 
of New York. 



CHAPTER XXV. 

SUNDAY vs. SABBATH. 

Exordium — The Decalogue— The Sabbath — Douay vs. King James — 
The Gospels — Sunday — Constantine — The Reformation— Luther, 
Calvin, Melancthon — Augsburg Confession — Queen Elizabeth — Old 
Puritans — New England — Modern Puritans — The Legal Sabbath — 
Rest and Recreation — Faith — Peroration. 

At Sea. 
" What is your proposition regarding our visit to the Opera 
at Martinique, Sunday evening ? " I asked Uncle John. 

"I say," he rephed, "that it was a desecration of the 
Sabbath day, which we are cbmmanded to keep holy, and 
there is no holiness about a negro theatre." 

"But I deny your premise," I rejoined, "how do you 
prove that Sunday is the Sabbath ? " Here my interlocutor 
took down the Bible, which is conveniently at hand (indeed 
it was the first book brought aboard the yacht, and is not the 
least read of the numerous volumes in the library), and re- 
cited, with solemn emphasis, from Exodus xx., 8-ii. 

8. Remember the sabbath day ; to keep it holy. 

9. Six days shalt thou labor, and do all thy work : 

10. But the seventh day is the sabbath of the Lord thy 
God : in it thou shalt not do any Avork, thou nor thy son, 
nor thy daughter, thy man-servant, nor thy maid-servant, nor 
thy cattle, nor thy stranger that is within thy gates : 

11. For in six days the Lord made heaven and earth, the 
sea, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day : 
wherefore the Lord blessed the sabbath day, and hallowed it. 



342 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

" There," said the Sabbath advocate, " can anything be 
clearer or more explicit ? We are commanded to remember 
and keep holy the Sabbath day, and to do no work on the 
day hallowed by the Lord. Perhaps, though, you will re- 
ject the authority of the Protestant version of the Holy Scrip- 
tures from which I quote." 

" Oh, n"o," said I, " I will consent to your putting in evi- 
dence the King James' translation, although, since its first 
publication, in i6ii, it has been altered and amended several 
times in numerous conflicting editions ; while the authentic 
Douay version, issued by the English College at Rheims 
(the New Testament in 1582, and the Old in 1610) has not 
been changed, save in adopting the modernizations of lan- 
guage, conforming to current etymology without altering the 
sense, or necessitating revised interpretation. They are so 
nearly alike, however, that I am not biblical reader enough 
to distinguish between them, and only see the differences 
when they are pointed out by some one with more scriptural 
information. I prefer the Douay, which I regard as more 
accurate, to the King James', which is spurious to some ex- 
tent, for frequent emendation has been required to correct its 
errors. As a matter of taste, too, I like a bible in which the 
Almighty is addressed as Our Father ' who ' art in Heaven 
to one that says 'which ; ' to say nothing of the ascription, 
' For thine is the kingdom,' etc., in the Lord's Prayer, 
which is surplusage, an interpolation, and has no right 
there. I think the Douay is written in better English. 
The King James' translators seemed to aim at making 
their version different from the older one, even at the 
sacrifice of diction. They sometimes employed metonymy 
to avoid tautology, as in the substitution of * Grave ' for 
' Death ' — * O Grave ! where is thy victory ? ' I think the 
word Death, used in the Douay version, preferable. Still, 



SUNDAY VS. SABBATH. 343 

if I don't like it, perhaps I had better get up a bible of my 

own. 

" Argumentatively, then, I will employ the King James' 

version, and quote from it in turn. 

" The day of the week designated in the Decalogue is the 
seventh, commonly known as Saturday, and observed by the 
Jews as the Sabbath, according to the Old Dispensation. The 
Lord's Day of Christians, established to commemorate the 
resurrection of our Lord and Saviour, is the first day of the 
week, commonly called Sunday, adopting heathen nomencla- 
ture. Now, waiving, for the time being, the point that the 
Sabbath was abrogated by the New Dispensation, I claim 
that the day of rest mentioned in the Ten Commandments, 
and the Lord's Day of the Church, are two separate and dis- 
tinct divisions of time, one occurring on Saturday the other 
on Sunday. Let me read from the Bible (and don't get off 
the old joke about the devil quoting scripture) ; I cite the 
four evangelists to prove the exact concurrence of language 
in describing the day of resurrection which Christians keep 
as the Lord's Day. 

S. Matthew, chapter xxviii. i : In the end of the sabbath, 
as it began to dawn toward the first daj/ of the week, came 
Mary Magdalene, and the other Mary, to see the sepulchre. 

S. Mark, chapter xvi. i : And when the sabbath was 
passed Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and 
Salome, had bought sweet spices, that they might come and 
anoint him. 

2. And very early in the morning, the first day of the 
week, they came unto the sepulchre at the rising of the 
sun. 

S. Luke, chapter xxiv. i : Now upon the first day of the 
week, very early in the morning, they came unto the sepul- 
chre, bringing the spices which they had prepared, and certain 
others with them. 



344 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

S. John, chapter xx. i : The first day of the week com- 
eth Mary Magdalene early, when it was yet dark, unto the 
sepulchre, and seeth the stone taken away from the sepulchre. 

" You will not dispute that Christ rose from the dead on 
'^Q first day of the week ; and that it was not the Sabbath day 
is demonstrated by the text of Matthew, ' In the end of the 
sabbath, as it began to dawn ; ' and in Mark, ' And when the 
sabbath day was passed.' It is clear, then, that the day of 
resurrection was the one following the Sabbath, and it must 
not be confounded with the Sabbath itself. If we commemo- 
rate the resurrection, we keep Sunday, the first day of the 
week ; if we observe the Sabbath, according to the mandate 
of the Old Dispensation, we keep Saturday, the seventh day, 
with the Jews. We cannot mix them, unless it is possible to 
be Christian and Jew at the same time, which is the inconsist- 
ent attempt of the Puritan." 

" But," said Uncle John, " the Sabbath has been changed 
by Christians from the seventh day to the first, and we are 
bound to the same observance though a different day is desig- 
nated ; it is the Christian Sabbath." 

" Who changed it ? " I inquired. " Show me the au- 
thority ! I challenge you to point out a line in the New 
Testament that authorizes the substitution, or makes provi- 
sion for any particular day to be observed. If the Sabbath 
was done away with, no other day was substituted in Holy 
Writ. If it was not abolished, then we are bound to ob- 
serve the seventh day, or Saturday, in order to obey literally 
the command given to Moses. If the Lord set apart the 
seventh day, what human power can change a Divine ordin- 
ance ? But even in the manner of recognition, it is recorded 
that our Saviour rebuked the pharisaical strictness that ob- 
tained among the Jews, which was probably a perversion, by 
sectaries, of the original ordinance establishing a day of rest 



SUNDAY VS. SABBATH. 345 

from labor ; which is a natural requirement for the preser- 
vation of health and maintenance of the well-being of man- 
kind." 

" Ah, there's where I have you," said Uncle John ; " you 
argue against a sabbath day, and yet you acknowledge the 
necessity for setting apart every seventh day for rest from 
work." 

" Certainly I do," said I ; "I believe in it as a sanatory 
measure, for in no other way can salutary regulations of this 
nature be enforced so efficaciously as by making them matters 
of religion. I repeat, however, that the Sabbath as a religi- 
ous enactment was repealed by implication in the New Dis- 
pensation, and that there is no analogous character to it in 
the festival of the Lord's Day, established for the first time 
in the fourth century. There is no Christian Sabbath, but 
there is a Christian Lord's Day. A Christian Sabbath is a 
Jewish Sunday — white blackbird." 

" The gravamen of your argument is that Christians are 
obliged to recognize Sunday as the Sabbath Day of the Old 
Testament. This I deny. You cannot produce one jot or one 
tittle of evidence to substantiate the claim, unless it be some 
unauthentic human invention. The point is, whether Chris- 
tians are bound to observe Sunday after the morose manner 
of the Sabbath of the Scribes and Pharisees, or whether it 
should be regarded, as was the original intention, simply as a 
day of religious worship and abstention from labor, of rest, 
recreation, and innocent enjoyment. The puritanical Sunday 
(misnamed the Sabbath) is an attempt to judaize Christianity. 

" It is supposed that for the first three centuries after the 
death of our Saviour, Christians were in the habit of assem- 
bling for worship on the first day of the week, in the cata- 
combs of Rome and elsewhere ; but it was not a regular 
custom, nor was there any formulated ordinance enjoining it. 



346 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

Indeed, so far from its assuming the Jewish features, the 
Lord's Day was established for the purpose of preventing 
Christians from observing the Sabbath, for, through the lack 
of a day to replace it, they were relapsing into Judaism and 
kept the Sabbath with the Jews. In order to check this re- 
trocession, the Emperor Constantine, in the year 321, issued 
an edict in which he enjoined rest from labor on the first day 
of the week. It will be observed, by the text of his edict, 
that he does not style it the Lord's Day, but Dies solis, the 
heathen designation, prefixing venerabilis, calling it the 
venerable day of the sun ; which gave rise to the suspicion 
that he had not entirely abandoned the heathenish ideas 
entertained before his miraculous conversion to Christianity, 
but that the recognition involved in the name showed a linger- 
ing affection for the rites performed on that day in honor of 
Apollo. The title Lord's Day was given afterward by the 
Church. Here is the text : 

Imperator Const antius Aug. Helpidio. 

Oinnes jitdices urbancEqite plebes et cimctarwn artium 
officia venerabili die Solis qtdescant. 

" ' On the venerable day of the Sun let the magistrates and 
people residing in cities rest, and let all workshops be closed.' 

" It will be seen that the absolute obligation was imposed 
only on residents of cities. He then adds the qualification, 
which constitutes the residue of the document : 

" ' In the country, however, persons engaged in the work 
of cultivation may freely and lawfully continue their pursuits, 
because it often happens that another day is not so suitable 
for grain-sowing or for vine-planting ; lest by neglecting the 
proper moment for such operations the bounty of Heaven 
should be lost. Given the second day of March. Crispus 
and Constantius being Consuls each of them for the second 
time.' 



SUNDAY VS. SABBATH. 347 

" Some Christians resented this prohibition of work as a 
yielding to Jewish Sabbatarianism, and lamented the innova- 
tion, w^hich they regarded as a concession prejudicial to 
Christianity, as opening the door to further innovations. As 
there was no Sabbath before Moses, there was no Lord's Day 
before Constantine. The writings of the early Fathers of 
the Church abound in warnings to Christians against sab- 
batizing the Lord's Day. The Sabbath, perverted by the 
Pharisees and fanciful Rabbins, was a sombre fast, the Sun- 
day of the Christians, a cheerful feast or holy-day. Cyril, 
Bishop of Jerusalem, says, 'Turn thou not out of the way 
unto Samaritanism or Judaism. For Jesus Christ hath re- 
deemed thee henceforth. Reject all observance of Sabbath.' 

" After the Protestant Reformation, the early reformers did 
not adopt the sabbatical view. Luther kicked a foot-ball in 
front of the church after service, and John Knox, visiting 
Calvin, at Geneva, on the Lord's Day, found him playing at 
bowls on the village green. The Augsburg Confession, 
framed by Melancthon, with Luther's assistance, which pro- 
mulgated the Protestant rule of faith, said, ' Those who judge 
that in the place of the Sabbath the Lord's Day was instituted 
as a day to be necessarily observed, are greatly mistaken. 
Scripture abrogated the Sabbath and teaches that all the 
Mosaic ceremonies may be omitted now that the Gospel is 
revealed. And yet, forasmuch as it was needful to appoint a 
certain day that the people might know when to assemble 
together, it appears that the Church destined the Lord's Day 
for that purpose. The day seems to have rather pleased 
them, in order that men might have thereby a proof of Chris- 
tian liberty, and know that the observance, whether of the 
Sabbath or of the other day, was not a matter of necessity.' 

"What does the modern Sabbatarian say to this authen- 
tic exposition of faith ? 



348 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

" In one of the Queen's Injunctions, during the reign of 
Good Queen Elizabeth, who was a most godly exterminator 
of popery, Sunday is classed with other holidays, and it is 
stated that ' if for any scrupulosity or grudge of conscience 
some should superstitiously abstain from working on those 
days; they -shall grievously offend.' She granted a license 
to one John Seconton to use certain plays and games on nine 
several Sundays. 

" Fifty years afterward, King James, who gave his name 
to the version of the Bible accepted by Protestants, issued 
the ' Book of Sports,' by which persons were allowed after 
church time on Sundays to cultivate athletic games and pur- 
sue such pastimes as were not in themselves unlawful. 

" This ' Book of Sports ' was one of the causes that im- 
pelled the brave, austere, hard-headed, narrow-minded, strong- 
willed puritans, who were attempting to permeate Christianity 
with Judaism (going far beyond what the first reformers con- 
templated in their secession from the Church of Rome), to 
the exodus from England, that has made such a prominent 
mark on the history of the world, and fashioned materially 
the manners and customs of the American people. The 
strength of harsh, vigorous, uncompromising puritanism is 
found in the sabbatical influence that pervades all creeds in 
Great Britain and America, even the Roman Catholic yield- 
ing to it somewhat in the outward Sunday aspect. 

" Sabbatarianism was first firmly founded by the puritans 
of Scotland, but the English who came over in the Mayflower 
were quite as fully imbued with fanaticism as that gloomy 
sect. The Blue Laws of the New England colonies, which 
forbade one to travel, cook victuals, make beds, sweep house, 
cut hair or shave, to run or walk in his garden on the Sab- 
bath day {i.e., Sunday) are familiar to the general reader." 

' ' This is quite a fine lecture," said Uncle John, as I stopped 



SUNDAY VS. SABBATH. 349 

« 

for breath, " and shows that you have been reading up on 

the subject." 

" Yes," I rejoined, " I beHeve in reading up on every sub- 
ject, and there is nothing more interesting and profitable 
than pursuing the subject of religious divisions, for the his- 
tory of peoples and governments hinges upon them. And 
there is nothing about which the public knows so little. If 
there is any one thing more than another in which ignorance 
is displayed it is on this question of Sunday ^i^. Sabbath. 
There is such a confounding of the diverse institutions, the 
antagonistic cheerful feast and groaning fast, the sunshine of 
Christianity and the shadow of Judaism, that it is hard to 
make those who have not studied the matter understand the 
difference between them. It is not to be wondered at, how- 
ever, when we consider that a great majority of our church- 
goers in cities are utterly uninformed upon the tenets of the 
particular church they attend, and are quite indifferent to 
them, changing from church to church, according to the dic- 
tates of fashion, or the attractions of eloquent pulpit oratory 
and fine music. 

" Dr. Hussey, a learned divine of the Church of England, 
delivered a series of lectures in the Brampton course, twenty- 
five years ago, in which he took the view herein advanced, 
treating the subject exhaustively, fortifying his position with 
an impregnable array of extracts from Holy Writ and the 
writings of the Fathers of the Church, sustained irrefutably 
by history, sacred and profane." 

" Admitting all you have said to be true," said Uncle 
John, "and I do not question the credibility of the authori- 
ties you cite, which are apparently authentic, what would 
you have ? Would you exchange our quiet, orderly, de- 
corous, American Sabbath (a misnomer, it may be) for the 
European Sunday, with its unrestrained license ? " 



350 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

"I shall not answer that question categorically," I re- 
plied. " I desire to make an explanation, in which I confess 
that I prefer our method, with some relaxations and unloos- 
ing of unreasonable and inoperative restrictions. I have 
always been used to it, and will admit that the prejudices of 
my early quasi-puritanical training were shocked by what I 
saw on Sundays in both Catholic and Protestant Europe. As 
I have before observed, the strength of puritanism is mani- 
fested by the sabbatical tinge it has imparted to the numerous 
ramifications of religious sects in the United States ; as the 
Frenchman described it, a country with a hundred religions 
and only one sauce. Even non-religionists are affected by it. 
The man who professes no creed, who sympathizes with the 
wide-spread infidelity which prevails among the people, re- 
jecting not only sects and denominations, but the authority 
of revelation, is scrupulous in observing Sunday as the Sab- 
bath. He denies the divinity of Christ, but will not play 
billiards on Sunday ; he says there is no revealed religion, 
but he shrinks from base-ball on the American Sabbath. I 
answered just now, that I preferred the sober, devout appear- 
ance of the American Sunday ; but, in a religious point of 
view, I fear it is dangerous to Christianity, because illogical. 
There is no logic in appealing to Jewish authority to enforce 
a Christian regulation. Faith shaken in one thing becomes 
weak in another. Falsus in wio. There is a certain amount 
of common sense in faith, and it is not common sense to quote 
what the Lord commanded to Moses, about one day, to com- 
pel obedience to an edict of Constantine regarding another. 
This stubborn ramming down the throat a mere assertion 
without proof is calculated to promote unbelief, and its effect 
is visible in the growing skepticism of the American people. 
Our Sunday is the shadow without the substance ; it is the 
hypocritical semblance of lost faith ; the lingering odor of de- 



SUNDAY VS. SABBATH. 35 I 

parted sanctity. The old puritan believed what he preached, 
the modern preaches what he doesn't believe. The old bigot 
had faith, the modern pretender has unbelief. 

" Our Sunday observance is a remnant of the theocratic 
system, the jumbling of spiritual and temporal, the civil and 
religious, which marked the semi-patriarchal government of 
small communes in colonial days ; a republican despotism. 
The clergyman denounces from the pulpit desecrations of the 
Sabbath, upon which he invokes Divine wrath, and then calls 
on the constable with a warrant from the justice of the peace 
to enforce the Decalogue. It is a curious mingling of the 
heavenly and the earthly. 

" The particular object of modern ecclesiastical, denuncia- 
tory fulmination seems to be the vendor of beverages. The 
clergyman will preach his Sunday sermon with the clatter of 
railroad-building, of shovel and pickaxe, filling the church un- 
noticed, but if somebody, a mile away, gently fills a glass of 
beer for a thirsty traveler, his offense is rank and smells to 
heaven for vengeance. It ought to, if he sells beer made of 
glucose and aloes, instead of malt and hops. Six days shalt 
thou labor in selling lager, but thou shalt cut off the tap on 
the first day of the week. We may peddle milk, sell cigars, 
chop meat, or dish out ice-cream on Sunday, but the cool and 
foaming lager, so refreshing on a hot day, let it be anathema ! 
It is no sin to have a steam-engine puffing all day long, and 
a swarm of laborers working on a building, within a block of 
Trinity Church, but spies are hired to peep through key-holes 
to detect Fritz Casevorus in unholy devotions to King Gam- 
brinus, away up in Avenue A, and bring him to punishment 
for his malefactions. It makes a difference. 

' He hides behind a magisterial air 
His own offences, and strips others bare.' 



352 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

When the offender urges in extenuation that he doesn't be- 
lieve Sunday is the Sabbath Day, and he has, therefore, 
committed no offense against Divine law, he is answered that 
he has been guilty of an infraction of the law of the land. 
Admitted : but I am not looking at the question in a civil, 
but purely in its religious, aspect, as presented by those who 
quote, ' Remember the Sabbath day ; to keep it holy.' I 
don't mix the Bible with the Revised Statutes. 

"The law recognizes no religion, except in the case of Jews, 
who have certain privileges accorded, because their faith 
teaches them to observe the genuine Sabbath. Why should the 
law discriminate against Christians in matters of conscience ? 
They ought to be entitled to the same privileges of belief or 
unbelief as the Jews. You may argue that because civil law 
ordains that the first day of the week is the Sabbath, we are 
bound to obey it, and regard the day as such. The obliga- 
tion of obedience to law I acknowledge, but I reject the 
religious corollary. Statute law cannot control the con- 
science. That is what clergymen claimed when the Fugitive 
Slave law was in force, or rather was not enforced. The 
Penal Code of the State of New York has the power of 
punitive enforcement, but David Dudley Field did not frame 
the Ten Commandments. He could find a flaw in them 
if liberally retained on the other side. The Legislature of 
the State of New York could not — by Divine inspiration, 
through the votes of the Honorable Mr. Simpkins or the 
Honorable Mr. Tweed — convert the first day of the week into 
the seventh ; and their enactments do not make me believe 
that the Jewish Sabbath of the Pharisees is identical with 
the Christian Sunday of Constantino and the Fathers of the 
Church." 

" Yet," said Uncle John, " while entitled to your opinion, 
you must yield to the views of the majority. Public opinion 



SUNDAY VS. SABBATH. 353 

adopts the dictum of the Churches, and the civil law upholds 
it, that Sunday is the Sabbath Day." 

" There I join issue with you," I replied. " The majority 
does not adopt this view. To say nothing of the free-thinkers, 
there are the Roman Catholics, who do not accept the sab- 
batical construction, and statistics show that there are more 
Catholics than Protestants in the world. Nor do all Protest- 
ants coincide in the interpretation. The Lutherans, for ex- 
ample, who hold the faith of the pioneer great Protestant 
reformer, entertain the same view as the Catholics. So do 
other sects. In Protestant Germany, as well as Catholic 
France, the worshipers engage in games and pastimes after 
attendance at divine service on Sunday. But we hear a great 
deal said about our American ! Sabbath. Bear in mind that 
I am not looking at this matter in a restricted territorial view, 
but generally, applied to the whole world, for I take it the 
Law was meant for all mankind, and if there was any special 
application it was intended for the Jews, the chosen people. 
Is it reasonable to suppose that the Almighty enacted a 
special ordinance for our great Republic ? France and Ger- 
many observed the Lord's Day centuries before America was 
discovered by Christians. If there is an especial American 
Sabbath, the tablets delivered amid the awful thunders of 
Sinai, should read, Remember the Sabbath day; to keep it 
holy — in the United States of America. Where is the au- 
thority for our American Sabbath ? a mere clap-trap phrase, 

" Even in observance there has been a wonderful change 
in the habits of the people. I can remember when it was re- 
garded as wrong for a man to take his family out for a drive 
on Sunday afternoon. Walking for recreation was con- 
demned, and the person in need of exercise sought the ob- 
scurity of back streets, to avoid the masked batteries of 
frowning eyes, peeping through the pious embrasures of holy 



354 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

closed blinds. As for music, the piano-forte was locked 
Saturday evening and opened Monday morning. Some bold 
innovators would shock their neighbors by playing what is 
loosely defined as sacred music, but they were possessed of 
extraordinary courage in braving public opinion. What is 
sacred music ? All good music is sacred ; the bad, an abom- 
ination. If one can play the ' Old Hundredth ' without 
offense, why not ' Schubert's Serenade ? ' and surely the 
soulful strains of the 'Last Rose of Summer' could not 
offend the ear of Deity more than the crepitating ' Hold the 
Fort,' and such rattle-de-bang compositions. Who has the 
authority to make music sacred, and who profane ? It is the 
intrinsic character that stamps it. There is wicked music. It 
is the sensuous and entrancing strain which the Devil employs 
to seduce the imagination and corrupt the heart. Good, pure 
music refines and elevates. 

"What authorized modification of the sacred obligation 
makes innocent to-day what was wicked twenty-five years ago ? 
The puritans, who attempted to engraft the Old Dispensation 
on the New, and regarded the fortuitous historical writings 
of the Old Testament as entitled to equal reverence with the 
inspired gospels of the New, made the Sabbath begin at sun- 
down Saturday, and end at sundown Sunday. Then, the 
pious farmer took his jug of New England rum to the field, 
and commenced cutting grass, and his industrious helpmate 
attacked the week's washing. Who has promulgated the 
change in this regard ? If it was right to sow barley after 
sundown on Sunday, 1834, who has made it wrong on Sun- 
day, 1884? 

"The Church of Rome, which, with the Greek Church, in- 
vented Sunday as a religious holiday, describes the days of 
the week in her rubrics as follows : Sunday, the first day 
of the week, is the Lord's Day, then follow the second, third, 



SUNDAY VS. SABBATH. 355 

fourth, fifth, and sixth days, but Saturday, the seventh, lias 
a distinctive name — it is called the Sabbath Day. This is 
the official designation of the Mother Church. Pope and 
Patriarch agree, and I suppose they ought to know some- 
thing about Christianity." 

"This one-sided discussion is becoming very tedious," 
yawned Uncle John, " cut it off; let me ask you what is your 
idea of Sunday, stated without so much circumlocution ? " 

" My idea," I said, " is this : Sunday, as I have hereto- 
fore tried to explain (nebulously, perhaps, for I am not a 
theologian) is the Lord's Day, and not the Sabbath. It is a 
day for which there is no authority in revelation, but it was 
founded three hundred years after the death of Our Saviour. 
The injunction was, cessation from unnecessary and servile 
work, and, by implication, commemorative attendance at di- 
vine worship. The Church knew what it meant by the insti- 
tution at the time, and doesn't require the after-century 
elucidation of those who don't believe in the Church. It is a 
day of rest, and recreation is often restful. The man con- 
fined at a desk, or sitting at his bench, all the week, may find 
rest and relaxation of cramped limbs in a game of cricket. 
Another may seek it in the contemplative man's recreation 
and, rod in hand, follow old Izaak Walton along the grass- 
covered banks of some quiet stream, with the innocent birds 
singing psalms, and sweet waters murmuring litanies over 
the beaded pebbles ; while bending willows dip sprinkling 
fingers in the limpid font, niched in sequestered nook ; and 
congregated stalks of yellow grain bow their heads before 
winds that breathe benedictions from on high. But the 
bigot, who sits in a cushioned pew, and drowses through a 
soporific homily, is afraid lest the profane swish of the 
angler's fly-cast will disturb his pious meditations. So he 
sends a policeman after the criminal Sabbath-breaker. 



356 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

" The professional, or business man, whose mind is en- 
grossed in wearing mental strain on secular days, might find 
relief from exciting care in a game of whist. If there is noth- 
ing wrong per se in cricket, angling, or whist, one has as 
much right to engage in them on Sunday as any other day, 
for there is no prohibition of recreation on Sunday or Sab- 
bath in either Old or New Testament. It is not the day, but 
the act, that constitutes wrong-doing. What is innocent on 
Saturday cannot be wrong on Sunday ; that is, unless it is 
some infraction of a regulation by constituted authority. All 
the Church interdictions are to be classed in the category of 
the malum prohibitum and not the utalum in se. They are 
matters of discipline, not creed. The Church of Rome says I 
may indulge in innocent amusement on Sunday ; the Church 
of Scotland says I may not. If I believe in Rome, I repu- 
diate the authority of Scotland to control my observance of 
the Lord's Day ; the more confidently as Sunday was in 
charge of the Church of Rome a thousand years before Scot- 
land invented a Church of her own. And I say, too, that 
Scotland has no more right to make religious laws for Amer- 
ica than Rome has. If either, Roman Catholics, being the 
majority, ought to have the arrangement of these affairs, for 
the majority is supposed to rule." 

" Playing whist is innocent in itself," said Uncle John, 
" but it isn't keeping the Sabbath day holy." 

" Ah ! there is the whole argument in a nutshell," I re- 
joined. "Even if the Sabbath were not abrogated by the 
Christian Gospel, as the Reformers said it was, in the Augs- 
burg Confession, the seventh day of the week is not the first. 
But you may quote from Ecclesiastes, and say, ' To every- 
thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under 
heaven — time to weep, and a time to laugh ; a time to 
mourn and a time to dance.' It may occur to you that Sun- 



SUNDAY VS. SABBATH. 357 

day is not the time to play whist, and that dancing would be 
rather out of place at church. Yet the Jews, to whom the 
Sabbath was commanded, danced in their service " 

" Look here," interrupted Uncle John, " I won't stand 
this much longer ; tell us briefly what kind of a Sunday you 
would have." 

" I would have," said I, " religious worship, as com- 
manded by the Church ; innocent amusements ; athletic 
games and sports ; base-ball for the boys after Sunday-school ; 
driving in the country for those who could afford it ; picture 
galleries open ; concerts and music in the public parks " 

" Hold on," interposed my interlocutor, " you needn't go 
through the whole catalogue of diversions. You seem to 
want to do away with our old traditions. You are an icono- 
clast ! " 

"No," I responded, *' I am no iconoclast, except in the 
sense of a destroyer of false idols. I do not wish to do away 
with the Lord's Day ; on the contrary, I would restore it to 
its original status. We read that the Puritan iconoclasts 
destroyed rare works of art and disfigured beautiful temples 
of Catholic worship during the reign of blind, vindictive fa- 
naticism in England. Where they did not shatter they some- 
times bedaubed statues, and covered over with whitewash 
choice pictures of the Virgin and the Saints, which, to their 
perverted gaze, appeared idolatrous. They pasted over the 
Christian Sunday a covering of Jewish Sabbath. Let us 
scrape off the disfiguring layer, and restore the pristine beau- 
ties of the Lord's Day ! " 

" But," said Uncle John, " you satirize everything; you 
seem to believe in nothing." 

" On the contrary," I remonstrated, " I do believe. I 
do not intend to be satirical, except against what I regard as 
shams and false pretenses, and I do not wish to treat this 



358 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

topic irreverently or flippantly. I simplj desire to bring out 
the truth. I ridicule no faith. I respect every man's honest 
convictions, if he arrives at them by the process of ratiocina- 
tion, and not through stupid, unreasoning bigotry. I be- 
lieve, however, that every one ought to have an intelligent 
belief, if the means of information are accessible. It isn't 
right for one to shut his eyes when the sun shines and persist 
in saying it is cloudy, because it so appears through his 
closed eyelids. The intelligent man ought to have a reason 
for the faith that is in him. I have the most profound respect 
for sincere faith, and wish I had more of it myself. I would 
be glad if I could believe that if I lost anything and prayed 
to St. Anthony I would recover it. I would put some Rock 
Island to the Saint at 150. I am no religious skeptic, how- 
ever. I believe." 

" In heaven's name, w^hat do you believe ? " asked Uncle 
John, impatiently. 

" Credo in tinum Deuin,'^ I answered ; "I believe in the 
Holy Ghost, the holy Catholic Church, the communion of 
Saints, the forgiveness of sins, the resurrection of the body, 
and the life everlasting. Amen. I do not believe that Sun- 
day is the Sabbath." 

" Well, I don't care," finally said Uncle John ; " that's the 
way I was brought up, and I'll stick to it." 

"Right you are," I concluded; " stick to anything you 
believe. Your argument, though, is a 7ion sequitur.'" 

So there was no game of dominos Sunday evening. It 
cannot be played solitaire. 



CHAPTER XXVI. 



HAVANA. 



\ 



The Streets — Soldiers — Policemen— Yellow Fever — The Foul Harbor — 
Volunteers — A Minder — Aguero — Political — Morro Castle — Jelly- 
fish — A Night Scene — Domestic Cigars — Whistling — Milk — Oxen — 
The Spanish Yoke. 

Havana, April i8, 1884. 
Havana is so familiar to Americans, through the facihty 
of quick intercommunication, that a description of it would 
be "a. thrice-told tale." I failed to observe any material 
change in its appearance since I was here five years ago, with 
the exception of some new buildings erected near the Prado, 
I think I saw more ladies, attended by black duenas, walking 
in the streets to do their shopping, but the impoverished con- 
dition of the island may necessitate economical pedestrianism, 
though it is probable that American intercourse is modifying 
manners and customs. Formerly it was rare to see ladies 
afoot. Now, though carriages were still to be seen before 
the shops, containing ladies with heads covered by the Span- 
ish vail, there were many walking in the streets. 

Soldiers and policemen abound, the former puny, slouch- 
ing, unhealthy-looking and ill-clad, while the latter are well 
uniformed and equipped, evidently picked men, of a superior 
grade to the military. The enlisted men sent from Spain 
seem to be of an inferior class of the population, but the officers 
are handsome, well set-up, and of soldierly bearing. The 



360 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK, 

comirion soldiers soon fall sick. During the last insurrection- 
ary war, fifty-five per cent, of the fresh levies from Spain died 
of disease. 

Our first call was upon my old friend, Dr. D. M. Burgess, 
from Richfield Springs, New York, a physician in large prac- 
tice, who has resided here for fifteen years, and is now United 
States Sanitary Inspector. Another old-time American resi- 
dent is Mr. W. B. Redding, a native of New York City, who 
has lived here thirty years, and during his residence has made 
eighty voyages between Havana and his home. Probably 
no one on the island has a greater number of acquaintances. 
He knows everybody, as the saying goes. He furnishes all 
the fine horses in Cuba, which he imports from the United 
States. The native horses are poor. The duty on imported 
horses is $132.40 a head. During the war there was an ad- 
ditional duty of twenty per cent., and this, added to an entry 
fee of $10, and $17 for veterinary examination, made a good 
horse a costly luxury. Then there is an internal revenue tax 
of $50 per annum. 

We are under great obligation to Mr. Redding. He ac- 
companies us everywhere and affords facilities for obtaining 
information not ordinarily within easy reach of travelers. 
We were gratified to have him dine with us aboard the 
yacht, with his friend Mr. T. B. Crowe, the British Vice- 
Consul, Dr. Burgess, and Mr. C C. Fort, Acting United 
States Consul, succeeding General Badeau, who vanished 
from the Consulate the day we arrived. In the Consul's 
office was a young Cuban clerk, to whom I gave a half eagle 
to pay some postage on letters to the United States. I had 
hard work to get the change. In fact I didn't get it from 
him. Happening to mention it to Dr. Burgess, he advanced 
the amount to me, saying he was connected with the Consul- 
ate and would collect from the slow payer. Perhaps he did. 



HAVANA. 361 

But he must have employed a dentist. According to the 
slang in vogue, they are all " on the make " in Havana. 

The Prado shows some improvement since I was last 
here. Then, the convicts, in chain-gangs, under the sur- 
veillance of overseers armed with rifles, were at work on it, 
but the extension is now completed, and it is a handsome, 
broad avenue, with interior spaces for trees, plants, flowers, 
and fountains, flanked with wide, smooth coachways. The 
streets are kept reasonably well-sprinkled, for water is plenty, 
but there is no drainage, and to this cause may be attributed 
the constant presence of yellow fever. With accumulation 
of nlthy deposits, unmoved by purifying currents, the harbor 
is a fruitful generator of disease. If a channel could be cut, 
to promote the flow of water and move the festering detritus 
which coagulates in poisonous exhalement, and carry it out 
to sea, one great source of pestilential germination would be 
removed. But this would require the expenditure of a great 
deal of money, and there is but little cash here. As Uncle John 
remarked, Cuba has no money, and less credit. I believe 
that this purification would make Havana one of the health- 
iest cities in the world. The climate is of unexcelled salu- 
brity, and disease is not violent, apart from the noxious yel- 
low fever, which is virulent because of ineflicient provision 
for expulsion of the seething feculence that defiles the harbor 
waters. 

But it is useless to hope for this improvement under Span- 
ish rule, which is a vampire sucking the life blood of the 
commonalty. With Cuba free, or annexed to the United 
States, there might be a change for the better, but so long 
as the island is at the mercy of rapacious Spanish officials, 
who plunder it for their own enrichment, there is little hope 
of its amelioration. Loyalty is rampant in Cuba. That 
attribute (the masquerading costume of knaves in every 



362 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

country) is expensive to the people anywhere, but it is par- 
ticularly extravagant here. The bitter hatred between Cuban 
and Castilian, though not so intense superficially as during 
the period of insurrection, still smolders hotly, and is liable to 
break out at any time, in open revolt, fanned by fierce re- 
sentment of unprosperity. The Spanish Club, the Casino, 
is the focus of loyalty, and here none but the Castilian may 
enter. It is the headquarters of the blood-thirsty Volun- 
teers, who maintained a reign of terror during the existence 
of the rebellion. They were bold and brutal, ruling with 
truculent disregard of every law except their own savage 
will ; an intensely loyal mob on the side of the Government. 
Mr. Redding, who was an eye-witness of the occurrence, 
related to us an instance of the ferocity of these Volunteers 
during the excitement of the disturbed period. He was 
seated in the cafe of the Louvre, in company with a gentle- 
man in the diplomatic service, whose carriage stood outside 
the door. Their attention having been attracted to a com- 
motion in Isabella Park, near by, the gentlemen went out 
and saw a man running from a Volunteer, who fired, and the 
pursued fell dead. Mr. Redding asked the Volunteer, whom 
he knew, why he shot the man, and was answered that the 
villain wore a blue cravat and refused to reply when ques- 
tioned as to wearing it, but started to run. Mr. Redding 
went to the unfortunate victim of Volunteer loyalty and re- 
cognized in him a young American, who had been in Havana 
but a few weeks, as agent for the sale of perfumery made in 
New York. Wanting to send his likeness home to his wife, 
he put on this blue cravat, without knowing the significance 
of its revolutionary color, to sit for a photograph. He was 
returning from the sitting when he encountered the rancor- 
ous Volunteer, who addressed him i'n a menacing manner, 
when the poor fellow, not understanding Spanish, started to 



HAVANA. 363 

run and was murdered, as related. The coachman of the diplo- 
mat, who witnessed the whole affair, was threatened with 
vengeance if he testified against the murderer, who, after 
some mockery of justice, was released from arrest. They 
were " hanging men and women for the wearing of the 
green " in Ireland ; in Cuba they were shooting men for 
wearing the blue. 

It was unfortunate for that victim of the blue that there 
was no Fort Lafayette handy in Havana, or his life might 
have been spared from the revolver, and his disloyal body 
consigned to the dungeon of the suspect by a tinkle of the 
little bell. As it was, he was tried summarily by a drum- 
head court-martial, of one member, self-appointed, and — by 
bullet instead of rope — met the mob-appeasing fate of Mrs. 
Surratt. 

During his long residence In Havana, Mr. Redding has 
seen many strange things. He witnessed the shooting of 
the Virginius party, heretofore mentioned in one of these 
letters from Kingston, and pointed out to us the wall near 
the prison where they were ranged for execution. Garroting 
on the Prado he saw quite often ; indeed he has been treated 
to an extensive variety of cheerful and amusing sights. 

Apropos of the intense loyalty of the Volunteers, we 
have just learned that Aguero landed a few days ago, from a 
Key West schooner, on the coast, two hundred and twenty- 
five miles from Havana, with an overwhelming force of 
twenty-five men. Five thousand soldiers have been sent in 
pursuit of his army, two hundred soldiers to a filibuster. As 
he is in a forest one hundred and twenty miles long, it is 
possible that he may be able to lead the opposition a long 
chase before he is captured. No doubt he will get accessions 
from the sympathizing inhabitants of the rebellious districts, 
and may be able to make a formidable demonstration. Na- 



364 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

poleon had quite a small army when he landed from Elba, 
but Aguero may not be a Napoleon. 

There is a favorable revolutionary condition in the all- 
pervading stagnation of trade and financial distress. Hunger 
is a powerful stimulant to patriotism. Poverty clamors for a 
change, while wealth lies inert, careless of the rights of the 
people, deaf to the voice of independence. There was a 
great deal of philosophy in the remark of the French com- 
munistic editor, who advocated the equal distribution of prop- 
erty until he became the unexpected possessor of fifty thou- 
sand francs as a legatee. When asked if he were still in favor 
of equal distribution, he answered that he was for all sums 
over fifty thousand francs. The full belly is a great clog to 
the independent heart. It sluggishly retards the circulation 
of the liberty-loving blood. 

There is a shrewd suspicion that Spain winks at these 
enieutes, which form a pretext for an enormous increase in 
the budget for military purposes, besides quickening the 
loyal feeling to influence the elections for the Cortes, now 
progressing. Nothing is so useful in the bamboozling line 
as loyalty, except it be reform ; which has now first choice 
in the election pools by which people are sold in the United 
States. Both cries are used to great advantage by the dema- 
gogue. It is the old expedient of despotism, to encourage 
latent discontent, to foment disaffection and bring it to a 
head prematurely, and then crush it with a loyal blow at the 
opportune moment. This has been the course pursued by 
England to keep Ireland under, through bribery, spies, in- 
formers, and provocation to overt acts, which were made the 
justification for harsh and cruel repressive measures. It is 
no new thing to get up outrages to order. We know some- 
thing about it at home. It is not many years since Eliza 
Pinkston, an influential politician in Louisiana, created a 



HAVANA. 365 

great sensation by appearing as an election outragee, and, 
in the Capitol at New Orleans, showed " of wounds two 
dozen odd," which she did "for your voices bear" — citizens 
Wells and Anderson, Kenner and Casanave ! 

The Government ships malefactors to the United States, 
and they return filibusters. Aguero was hired to leave Cuba 
some time ago ; his return now as an insurgent about elec- 
tion time has a suspicious look. Still he may be an honest 
reformer : he is not an American. 

A visit to Morro Castle was interesting. The necessary 
permit was obtained from the Captain of the Port without 
difficulty. This formidable fortification was once an effectual 
barrier to hostile entrance to the harbor, but it would be of 
little service against the improved naval armament of the 
period. The Morro is kept in good condition and is strongly 
fortified, but the white-walled Cabafias fort seems to be fall- 
ing into decay. We were courteously received at the sally- 
port by a dignified Spanish officer, who detailed a subaltern 
to accompany us through the works. Whether this was 
a delicate attention, or a precaution against our making 
sketches of the fortifications for General Don Mateo Mc- 
Mahon and other Cubans, engaged in profound revolutionary 
projects for Cuba Libre, at Cruquinassius', Park Row, I am 
unable to say ; but the officer was agreeable in his manners, 
and we considerately avoided any heated discussion with him, 
as he couldn't understand what we said. He was neat and 
soldierlike in his dress, as are all the officers. The soldiers 
are shabby fellows, clothed in flimsy, striped-cotton uniforms, 
unkempt, and apparently undisciplined. The officer who ac- 
companied us, being a first lieutenant, must get as much as 
forty of fifty dollars a year pay. The common soldiers get 
nothing but their cheap clothing and poor rations. I believe 
they are promised some trifling pay, but they never get it. 



366 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

The high officials of Cuba gobble up all the money and there 
is none left for the poor old soldier. I suppose that the 
Government supplies him with a grave, as a necessity, but a 
coffin is a luxury. 

The Morro is a solid mass of masonry, but stone is good 
for little as a resistant to the powerful projectiles of recent 
improved construction. Masonry crumbles before the irre- 
sistible missiles which science, with progressive destructive- 
ness, invents. How much easier to destroy than to build ; a 
platitude introduced for the purpose of firing a shot at pur- 
blind agitators, who can pull down in an hour what it took 
years of wise foresight and patient experience to build up. 
The piles of rusty round shot lining the parapets, and the 
general appearance, are emblematic of the Spanish govern- 
ment in Cuba ; corroding, decaying, effete, with obsolete 
methods and inefficient, ancient forms ; feeble in attack, 
powerless for defense. 

The barracks, partially bomb-proof, are dull and cavern- 
ous, but comfortable enough for the occupants, who would be 
satisfied with less inviting quarters. It would hardly do them 
any good to be dissatisfied. 

The light-house on Morro Castle has inscribed on it, in 
bold letters, O'Donnell, 1844, in honor of the Captain General 
at the time of its erection, who is still held in grateful regard, 
as an exceptional governor, whose administration was char- 
acterized by firmness, liberality, intelligence, and the absence 
of the usual peculation. Standing on the Custom House 
wharf in Havana, in the year 1878, I saw spray from the 
waves, blown in by a violent " norther," dash over the lan- 
tern of this pharos, one hundred and forty feet high. This is 
quite a story to tell about a wave, but I saw it with my own 
eyes, and I am near-sighted. Had I been far-sighted, the 
light-house tower would have been considerably higher, of 



HAVANA. 367 

course. These storms from the north are quite violent. The 
view from the observatory and signal-station is fine, through 
the powerful glasses, furnished by considerate officials, who 
did not refuse the acknowledging Jionorarmm, 

There is a fortification in the city of Havana proper, on 
the other side of the harbor, which has never been taken. It 
is called the virgin fortress. A silk flag flies from it every 
day in the year. Flags are displayed elsewhere only on Sun- 
days, holidays, and special occasions. 

Sitting on the deck of the yacht at night, the water — per- 
fectly tranquil, reflecting long lines of glittering lights ashore, 
which marked the surface into the appearance of iUuminated 
columns, extending from vessel to dock — presented a beau- 
tiful appearance. It was finer than any harbor scene I have 
witnessed, save the view, from Staten Island, of the Brooklyn 
Bridge, with its row of electric sparkles, a veritable carcanet 
of lustrous gems. I saw, for the first time in placid water, 
the intermittent lambent gleams from jelly-fish, swimming 
around the yacht, having a little torchlight procession of their 
own with flash hghts. I had often witnessed phosphorescent 
trails in the wake, and alongside, of vessels sailing (more 
vivid in the northerly latitudes than here), but I had never 
before seen the luminous emission from the gelatinous mass, 
in perfectly still water, without the attrition of the keel. I 
had supposed that contact with some object was required to 
evoke the spark, and was not aware before that it is a spon- 
taneous effusion. The jelly-fish is the glow-worm of the 
deep. 

The Havana of daylight and the city by gaslight are differ- 
ent places to the view. One is dull and dingy, with no sym- 
metrical architecture, and with but few broad streets, stately 
churches, and magnificent buildings, such as one sees in Eu- 
rope or America ; the other is a magnificent metropolis, 



368 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

Avhich myriad lights transform into a splendid panorama. 
We went to hear the Marine Band play in the Park Isabella 
the Second (where there is a monument to the former Queen 
of Spain), and the scene brought to mind the Champs Elysees 
in Paris, with the cafes-chantants, puppet-shows, and naughty, 
but fascinating, fairy-like Mabille. I plead guilty to Mabille. 
It was delightful ; but some Americans I met there were dis- 
appointed ; they saw nothing improper ; they could do bet- 
ter in New York. I believe it has been abolished. It was a 
mistake ; where will the Brooklyn deacons go now when they 
visit Paris ? 

But to come back from Paris to Havana. The Park was 
filled with handsomely-dressed ladies, many of' them wearing 
bonnets, but the majority appearing in the more tasteful and 
piquant vail. The bonnet, however, is gradually becoming 
fashionable. I saw none worn except by travelers when here 
before, but now the hat is making vigorous inroads on the 
vail. In this I see evidence of Spanish decadence. The in- 
novation cannot fail to have its effect. Patriotism is sapped 
by millinery. The bonnet rouge was the French revolution- 
ary symbol ; who knows but that the American bonnet 
may become the liberty-cap to emblematize Cuban independ- 
ence ? 

We sauntered amid the throng — promenading the walks 
or gathered in groups on the bordering seats — listening to 
the excellent music, and admiring the beauties (for the Ha- 
vanese women are very handsome, with fine features, raven 
hair, dark eyes, flashing beneath strongly-marked eyebrows, 
and clear, olive complexions), until, tired, we went across the 
street to the Louvre, where we took a table and remained 
some time watching the uninterrupted stream of incoming 
and outgoing visitors. This is the fashionable cafe\ and it 
was filled with men, women, and children, eating, drinking, 



i 



HAVANA. 369 

and smoking. At one table, was a party of gentlemen drink- 
ing cognac and smoking cigarettes, at another, some ladies 
and children eating ices, but all exhibiting an un-American 
nonchalance and unconcern as to the movements of their 
neighbors. A favorite beverage here is \\\& panale, a sweet- 
ened compound which takes the place of the French eau siLcre'e. 
It is a mixture of &^'g and sugar, something like a meringue , 
and is served with a large glass of water, into which the wafer 
is broken and dissolved and then drunk. It would look effem- 
inate for a man to go into Delmonico's and drink 3. panale, 
but it is common here. Gin is a favorite beverage, but 
American lager-beer is slowly coming into favor. There is a 
great deal of mind-your-own business in Havana. The puri- 
tan has not yet obtained a foothold. Looking out upon this 
night exhibition of glare and glitter, I could not but think 
that it was something like the scenery of a theatre, dusty and 
unattractive until lighted up. And there is an unreality 
about the splendor, too, for this gay and festive crowd is the 
population of an island hopelessly insolvent, on the verge of 
general bankruptcy and universal poverty. 

At the Louvre we met Mr. Alvarez, the famous cigar 
manufacturer, who invited us to visit his factory, the next 
day, and kindly offered to have some cigars made for us 
while we were on the premises. We did not take advantage 
of his offer. When we returned to New York it would be 
too much trouble to enter and clear the cigars at the Custom 
House, and we would scorn to smuggle them. No loyal 
American ever smuggles anything for his personal use. We 
have too much respect for law ; implicit obedience to which 
is a national characteristic. As for ladies returning from 
Europe, who ever heard of one of the dear creatures omitting 
to declare every dutiable article in her trunks. A propos des 
bottes, Uncle John has a story about a Chicagoan in Havana, 
24 



370 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

who went to Upmann's factory to buy some cigars. He 
asked if those offered were of fine quahty. " Certainly," said 
the salesman, "they are of choice Vuelta Abajo tobacco, 
made this week in our own factory. " " What ! made here?" 
said the traveler, " you must have a cheek to offer them to 
me. Do I look like a man who smokes domestic cigars ? I 
use none but imported." 

I don't believe this story. It is a satire on the foreign 
affectation so popular with our rising generation, the imita- 
tive Anglification of oxax jennesse dore'e, the drawl, the coach- 
man costume, the blase air, everything but the virility. The 
English dandy has an outward lackadaisical superciliousness, 
but is hearty and manly under the surface ; our American 
dude is a contemptible bit of jejune effeminacy, a flaccid, 
mean-spirited, vapid, sneering, inane creature, lacking the 
indispensable attribute of the true gentleman — chivalrous re- 
spect for women. 

That indefatigable and incorrigible punster. Uncle John, 
couldn't resist the temptation to get off a joke when he came 
out of Honradez'. " What have you been having in there ? " 
inquired Mr. Redding. " Havana cigar," promptly replied 
the Domino King. The Commodore threatens to put him 
in irons if he persists in these transgressions, after we get 
on the high seas, three miles from land, where the master 
of a ship may exercise despotic authority. 

Returning to the yacht about midnight, we embarked 
from the Marine wharf. We had no difficulty in passing the 
gate, Mr. Redding explaining to the sentinel who we were, 
but we had a sample of the jealous vigilance exercised when 
the Commodore blew a whistle to summon his gig. A cepe- 
vorist approached and said the officer of the guard desired to 
know what that whistle meant, and when it was explained, 
warned us not to blow again without permission. Whereupon 



HAVANA. 371 

we prudently restrained the great Yankee propensity to do a 
good deal of blowing. 

A curious sight in Havana is the milk-peddling. Cows 
are driven through the streets and milked before the doors of 
customers, as demands are made. They want no middle- 
men, no intermediate, adulterating brokers, but get their 
milk at first hands. Probably the service is not erratic, and 
that there is an allotted via lactca for each dealer, but there 
is an advantage in this method, for if the regular milkman 
doesn't come, any udder man can fill the vessel ; with but 
small chance for deception, as the milking is done under the 
eye of the purchaser. You can't deceive the cunning Hava- 
nese. They are up to all the tricks of adulteration. They 
have their milk teeth cut and you can't fool them : not by a 
long chalk. They know what watered stock is. No big cans 
for them ; no chalk and water in their dish. A sleight-of- 
hand performer might have water concealed somewhere about 
his person, like Hermann, who produces a brimming vase 
filled with gold-fish from the tight sleeve of his dress-coat, 
but it isn't probable that these peddlers are up to such tricks 
of legerdemain. Yet I shouldn't wonder if the milkmen, who 
are astute chaps, get the best of their patrons after all. They 
generally do. They may water the cows before driving them 
into town to be milked. 

If there were any distillers in Havana, they might feed 
their cows on grains and go around the streets drawing milk- 
punch. This would obviate to some extent the use of the 
bottle. One of these days some genius may invent a refrig- 
erator attachment (a sort of a Charles Francis Adams touch) 
which would enable the vender to milk ice-cream. 

This peripatetic lactarium has its merits. It may be 
called a bos system. The milk is better than Avhen churned 
over the pavements for hours in heated cans, sending the 



372 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

cream to the top, to be scooped off for the first customers 
served, while the last get the lees and impurities at the bot- 
tom ; like those in the middle of the table at a French table 
d'hote^ who, in the distribution of effects, become residuary 
legatees and receive all the drumsticks of the chickens. 

Then when baby was sick, the anxious mother would be 
sure of getting the milk of " one cow." Uncle John, who is 
always raising hair-splitting quibbles, suggested that this 
wouldn't always be certain ; the cow milked might be a twin. 
This is one of his bulls. I often lose patience with him ; he 
is so hard to steer. 

Oxen are still largely employed in the agricultural dis- 
tricts, and are often to be seen even in the streets of Havana. 
They wear no yokes, but draw by the. head, after the old 
Egyptian manner. The strong forehead of the ox is capable 
of great resistance, but whether this is preferable to the neck 
method I am unable to say. I have never had any experi- 
ence driving oxen, although I have had fruitless years of 
contact with asses in politics, who could neither be led nor 
driven. I suppose the forehead would not be so apt to get 
galled as the neck — but I had better not discuss a question 
about which I know nothing. Ordinarily that would not be 
a bar to argument, for the less one knows the more apt he is 
to assert a confident opinion ; but I will put on the muzzle 
and not tread on the farmer's corns. A few years ago some 
enterprising American imported a quantity of ox-yokes, but 
he couldn't sell them. The Cubans stuck to their old methods. 
Perhaps the Spanish yoke is as much as they can bear at one 
time. Ox-yokes may come in with independence. 



CHAPTER XXVII. 

CUBAN CUSTOMS. 

Slavery — Shopkeepers — Convicts — Cigars — Lotteries — Sunday — The 
Cathedral — A Full Day's Work — Bull-fights — The Pilgrimage — 
Succotash — Echoes of Travel — Beautiful Faith — The Germans — 
Emblems — Catalans — Exit Romeria. 

Havana, April 21, 1S84. 
One-third of the population of Havana (208,000) is black, 
and about forty-five per cent, of the blacks are slaves. In 
three years all the slaves will be free, and the near approach 
of their enfranchisement renders them of little value. The 
price of the cheapest grade is down to twenty dollars. I 
had a notion to buy one at that figure, merely for the pur- 
pose of having the pleasure of manumitting him. In 1862, I 
did a bit of manumission on my own account, freeing forty 
slaves who had been working for " Massa " Branch at Han- 
over Court House. But I didn't take that liberty with them 
without asking their consent. I obtained permission to issue 
an emancipation proclamation, and when they were paraded, 
I waved my sword over their heads, and said in my most im- 
pressive ex cathedra manner, " Niggers be free ! " And they 
were. My proclamation was effective. I had the slaves in 
hand. The paper one wasn't good for much, on the princi- 
ple of Mrs. Glass' famous recipe, "First catch your hare." 
The Union rifle and sabre were the great emancipators. That 
manumission, however, didn't cost me a cent. I was oper- 
ating with other people's money, like a Railroad President. 



374 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

I have no doubt, however, that it cost the people of the 
United States several millions of dollars to free those forty 
slaves, the greater portion of which went to loyal army con- 
tractors. The Creoles are a weak, lazy, diseased race, but 
the negro blood in Cuba is healthy and strong. 

Convicts are let out by the Captain-General, in chain- 
gangs, on plantations, and to various manufactories, princi- 
pally of tobacco. There are not many negroes sent to the 
plantations. It is said that the farmiing out of convicts is no 
inconsiderable source of revenue to the Captain-General. 

Driving out the Paseo to a shabby and little frequented, 
sea-side resort, near the city, we were enabled to judge of 
the extent of financial distress by learning the enormous de- 
preciation in the value of real estate. Beautiful villas and 
handsome residences would hardly bring one-third of their 
original cost, even if they could be sold at all. They might 
be sold on time, but there is no money to pay. The country 
is in the condition of the waggish druggist, who said that he 
could meet his paper but couldn't pay it. We had a good 
luncheon at a roadside restaurant, white bread, good cheese, 
and a bottle of fair claret, at a reasonable rate. Liquors are 
cheap in Havana, except champagne, which is dear, owing to 
the duty. All other commodities, but cigars and matches, 
are dear. It is strange that, with money so scarce, every- 
thing should be high. Cab-hire is an exception, the price for 
a " course," in the shaky victoria, drawn by a dilapidated 
horse, being but twenty-five cents in paper, or nine cents in 
gold. We bought some superior matches, called the ccrilla 
grande, long wax tapers, inodorous, in safety-boxes, for six 
dollars a gross in Spanish paper, or two dollars and forty 
cents in gold ; thirty for a cent. Cigars are cheap, of course, 
but one is liable to be cheated in buying the higher-priced 
cigars, for which inferior grades are often palmed off. For 



CUBAN CUSTOMS. 375 

that matter, the Havanese are great swindlers in trade. I 
have seen a good deal of the world, and nowhere have I found 
shopkeepers and traders so honest as in the United States. 
In the details of business we are reliable, in the great oper- 
ations we are the most unscrupulous nation in the world. 
In politics and large business enterprises we are deluding 
and hypocritical, but the American shopkeeper will give the 
right change. Yet I don't know that we are much worse 
than other nations in floating pretentious, high-sounding 
schemes to gull the public. England, however, has dropped 
many pounds grabbing at the bait we offered of enormous 
profits. Cautious Holland bought our bonds, worth par, at 
fifty cents on the dollar. 

Drinking-places are thick as hops, an appropriate simile, 
for hops have a close connection with drinking. The saloons 
all appear to be well-filled, the space in front of many of them 
having an array of small tables, around which the thirsty con- 
gregate, drinking gin, coffee or panales, according to taste. 
Drunkenness is not seen, except occasionally among sailors 
and Americans. As I said of Curacoa, everybody drinks, 
nobody gets drunk. This is the rule. Of course there are 
exceptions. 

Swarming around the doors are sellers of lottery tickets, 
black, white, and brown, old and young, men and women, 
boys and girls, in great numbers, persistent in solicitation, 
undeterred by repeated refusal to purchase. One is impor- 
tuned at every step to buy a lottery ticket, and everybody 
buys. The full tickets for the capital prize of $200,000 cost 
$20, and they are divided into twentieths, so as to be with- 
in the reach of all, like a judiciously-circulated contribu- 
tion-plate in the well-disciplined church. Naturally, with a 
constantly-turning lottery- Avheel, people become great be- 
lievers in luck and chance, and are very superstitious in 



3/6 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

auguries, signs, and omens. While sitting in the Pasaje, a 
ragged boy, nine or ten years old, came in and asked us to 
buy a ticket. I paid no attention to him, but Mr. Redding 
said, "There's the boy who wanted us to buy in O'Reilly 
Street. Meeting him here is luck." He regarded him as a 
harbinger of good fortune and bought a half-ticket. I, not 
having so much confidence in luck, and doubtful if Dame 
Fortune lurked in the tattered folds of his unwashed integii- 
iiienta, ventured on a tenth, which, with the ten per cent, 
seller's commission, cost $2.20, paper, or eighty-eight cents 
in gold. If my number draws the capital prize, I stand to 
win $20,000, or $8,ooo in gold. The number is 17,361. If 
I win my $20,000, I shall not begrudge the other $180,000 to 
the lucky holders, nor tear my hair (figuratively) because I 
did not buy the whole ticket. There is nothing small about 
me but my feet, as poor Abiel Heywood used to say. I in- 
tend to devote my winnings to the poor. I do so now. I 
hereby sell, assign, transfer, set over, and demise to the poor, 
all my right, title, and interest, absolute and contingent, in 
and to ticket No. 17,361, and constitute and appoint the phi- 
lanthropist Russell Sage my attorney, to straddle the chance, 
and, for me and in my name, to call the dividends or profits 
thereon and put them to the poor. Remember the number ! 
17,361. No connection with any other. 

This motley crowd of acolytes in the temple of Fortune 
affords an example of apparent honesty, hardly credible to 
the New Yorker, who would hesitate to trust a bootblack 
or newsboy with a half-dollar to be changed. Here are 
thousands of persons in abject poverty who are intrusted 
with the sale of tickets representing considerable values. A 
poor negro, not worth a dollar in the world, has in his hands 
tickets worth hundreds ; a barefooted boy, with seventy-five 
cents worth of clothing on, will hand you tickets and take 



CUBAN CUSTOMS. 377 

his twenty dollars as if there was nothing remarkable in the 
transaction. There must be some system of distribution 
among the large ticket-brokers, with surveillance over these 
impecunious peddlers, but it is not evident. On the surface 
it looks as if the peddlers were given the tickets to sell, and 
returned the unsold with the money for those disposed of. 
Undoubtedly the subagents know well those whom they em- 
ploy, for it is not possible they could trust with considerable 
amounts the swarm of ragamuffins who hawk the tickets 
through the streets ; particularly when there is added to the 
liability of peculation the chance of robbery, by snatching 
tickets at night, or dropping them in the crowded assemblages 
which the peddlers infest. 

Unquestionably the lottery is honest, if that term can be 
applied to gambling of any kind, about which there is much 
difference of opinion practically. True, the Apostles cast 
lots, and Mathias won the prize, but that was holy gambling, 
like raffling or voting for canes at church festivals. The 
drawing is public and attracts a large crowd. It seems to be 
conducted with perfect fairness and without any opportunity 
for collusion. It is about the honestest business in Havana. 
As I understand it, the Government, which has a certain 
percentage of profit, sells the lottery to a Company, which 
takes all the tickets and disposes of them at an increase of 
ten per cent, on the face value, through various subagencies, 
extending, by successive ramifications, down to the gamins 
of the streets. Perhaps Dean Swift's parasitical simile may 
apply to illustrate the mode of disposal : 

'' So, naturalists observe, a flea 

Has smaller fleas that on him prey ; 
And these have smaller still to bite 'em ; 
And so proceed ad infinitum'''' 



378 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

I have said that everybody buys lottery tickets ; that is, 
everybody who has any money. Some merchants regularly 
invest a certain amount in every drawing, just as they en- 
gage in any other business of a speculative character, carry- 
ing the result to debit or credit of Profit and Loss account as 
it results. The element of luck, which enters into all com- 
mercial dealings, is here, pure and simple. There are no 
droughts, floods, or tempests to affect crops, upon which the 
prices of railroad stocks depend, no pools or cutting rates, 
no conflagrations in great cities to disturb the finances, no 
failures of banks, embezzlements, or defalcations to frighten 
timid capital into shrinkage of values — it all depends on the 
turn of the wheel. If you hold the lucky number, you get a 
prize ; if it isn't drawn, you lose the cost of the ticket. Among 
the fortunate, some years ago, was our friend, Mr. Redding, 
who held the ticket that won the capital prize. I hope the 
poor will be benefited by one-tenth of ticket No. 17,361. 
No thanks ! from the poor capitalists who swear off their 
taxes. 

A considerable portion of the time of the Havanese is 
devoted to drinking in cafes, smoking cigarettes, and buying 
and selling lottery tickets, but the principal occupation seems 
to be — scratching wax matches. 

Yesterday was Sunday, and the Commodore and I, like 
good Christians, attended divine service in the Cathedral (so 
called, though I believe it is a parish church), a venerable gray 
pile, which contains the ashes of Columbus, brought here 
from St. Domingo. It is claimed by some that the real ashes 
are not here, but in Genoa, although for all practical pur- 
poses this is immaterial. The only way to settle the dispute 
Avould be to refer the question of genuineness to Columbus 
himself, as he might be able to identify his own remains, by 
the smell, or some peculiarity known to himself; but there 



CUBAN CUSTOMS. 379 

is no medium of communication with him here, as there are 
no professional Spirituahsts in Havana. 

The Cathedral is rather gloomy inside with the obscurity 
conducive to a proper devotional spirit. Like all church edi- 
fices in Cathohc countries, it has no pews, but benches are 
ranged along the pillars for such as choose to occupy them. 
Many ladies came in attended by servants carrying kneeling 
stools and carpets. We expected to hear fine music from 
the grand organ, but, after waiting a long time, a priest ap- 
peared and said a Low Mass at one of the side altars. I 
joined in the service ; and after its conclusion we waited for the 
grand altar to be lighted up for High Mass, but as there was 
no evidence of preparation, the Commodore suggested that 
we retire, to find a man he knew in the neighborhood, named 
Dos Ginebras, and we could return in time for the service. 
As this was a custom not unhonored in the vicinity of John 
Street, in heretical Utica, I acquiesced. The Commodore, 
however, whose devotions have manifestly been more in the 
way of theatres than churches, stated the proposition rather 
irreverently, whispering to me, " Hadn't we better go out 
between the acts ?" On our return, we were subjected to a 
still further delay, and then another priest appeared and said 
another Low Mass, to a congregation that had assembled in 
the meantime. It was then noon, and we knew there could 
be no High Mass celebrated that day, so we retired without 
hearing the music, though we had the benefit of two services. 
The Commodore, who, like the average American, is igno- 
rant in religious matters, asked me if, having been present at 
two services, one could not be put to our credit for the next 
Sunday in case we failed to attend. I said no ; in our Church 
we don't play " laps and slams." 

The last Sunday I spent in Havana before this, in com- 
pany with Senor Geronimo Verde, celebrated lupulist, was a 



380 THE 'CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

busier day. It happened to be a Feast, which was observed 
with much pomp and ceremony. Salutes were fired from 
the forts and war-vessels in the harbor, at sunrise, noon, and 
sunset ; flags were displayed in profusion, and the usual hol- 
iday look of Sunday was greatly augmented by the impor- 
tance of the high festival. We attended Mass at the Cathedral 
in the morning, went to a cock-fight in the afternoon, paid a 
flying visit to the circus, and in the evening heard " La Favo- 
rita " at the Opera House, excellently rendered by afine com- 
pany. We put in a full day. 

But this was the Havana of other days. Its glory has 
departed. The Opera House is in a dilapidated condition, 
the roof sunk in from a torrent of water precipitated by a 
defect in the pipes (they have plumbers in Havana), and 
there is no prospect of its reparation unless they levy a 
special tax for plumbing. No opera is heard in Havana now, 
not even a theatrical company is playing ; there is no circus 
(the American was in full blast when I was here before), and 
the immense Tacon Theatre is devoted to the manifestations 
of a professor of legerdemain, Don Patricio, an Italian count 
of eminent mystic expertness. The stringency of the times 
chokes amusement. 

We had hoped to attend a bull-fight at Regla, but there 
was none, on account of the Romeria, or fair, literally pilgrim- 
age, at Almendares, for the benefit of the hospitals. As we 
couldn't see a bull-fight, we resolved to take in the pilgrim- 
age. We found consolation for our disappointment in being 
told that bull-fights are tame affairs latterly ; the animals lack 
ferocity and it is seldom that a picador is killed. Such list- 
less tauronaments would have little attraction for us. We 
want danger for our money. We don't care to see a spindle- 
shanked Spaniard, in shabby velveteen jacket, rusty russet- 
leather leggings, and red cotton sash, prodding a lot of lazy 



CUBAN CUSTOMS. 381 

old bulls around the arena, like Daniel Drew of yore steer- 
ing a drove of steers to the Bull's Head yards. No, Senor ! 
We want gore, we do. Give us blood ! as the Members of 
Congress shouted when the war broke out, and then val- 
iantly plunged into the thickest of remoteness from the fray. 

I suppose a major portion of the interest in a trapeze ex- 
hibition is the chance that the performer may fall and break 
his neck. What an advantage the fortunate spectator of one 
of these accidents has over the attendant at a common, hum- 
drum performance, where nothing extraordinary or thrilling 
happens. He has something to talk about. He who has 
been an eye-v/itness of a fatal trapeze accident is quite a hero 
in a small town ; he becomes a village oracle, like the man 
who crossed Brooklyn Bridge the day it was opened to the 
public. 

We made the pilgrimage to Almendares in carriages. This 
is a much more comfortable way than the via dolorosa of the 
ancient pilgrims, who went afoot, with staff and scrip, wear- 
ing penitential pease in their sandals. I always regarded the 
story that some of them boiled the pease before starting as a 
slander. It is more probable that they used green pease. 
Corns grew apace with their long journeys, and these, mixed 
with the pease, may have made the original succotash. Here 
is a suggestion for Notes and Queries regarding the origin of 
that never-to-be-too-highly-commended dish. Perhaps it was 
not an Indian invention after all, but a pious bequest of the 
Crusades. 

The road to Almendares was thronged with vehicles, 
regulated by mounted policemen, fully armed with sabre, 
carbine, and pistol. This force is an exceptionally fine body 
of men. Being Sunday, all the world was out. Every va- 
riety of equipage was to be seen, from the handsome car- 
riage, with liveried servants, to the costermonger's donkey- 



382 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

cart. The Captain-General's coach and the cheap cab were 
cheek by jowl. It was something like the road to Epsom 
Downs on Derby day, except that there was good order and 
decorum, and none of the rude bumptiousness and insolence 
that mark the English racing holiday. The vulgar English 
crowd is offensively coarse and boorish. Indeed the clown- 
ish, low Englishman is, in uncouth grossness, a peg beneath 
the vulgarian of any other civilized people. What a contrast 
between the Derby and the great French race, the Grand 
Prix de Paris! Longchamps, with the approaching road 
through the Bois de Boulogne, presents a view of splendor, 
in dress and equipage, that can be equaled nowhere else. 
Havana has been called the western Paris, but there is a 
great difference between the gorgeousness of the rich cos- 
mopolis, and the cheap imitation of poor Cuba. New York 
is the most luxurious city in the world, and is fast becoming 
the most depraved. Sodom must be playing the role of 
Arethusa and is oozing up between the pavements of our 
Western Babylon. Some clergyman will point to the church- 
going throng on Fifth Avenue — when the Sundays are fine — ■ 
and get angry at this paragraph. Let him. It is true, not- 
withstanding his ignorance. The police know more than the 
clergy, that is unless they hear confessions, when they may 
learn a thing or two. 

But a truce to digression ; let us continue our pilgrimage ! 
I simply rested by the wayside for a moment. I don't pre- 
tend to stick closely to the path in these rambling letters. I 
diverge, to jot down observations as they occur to me ; just 
as the school-boy, out for a holiday, makes short runs on one 
side or the other, to chase a butterfly, pluck some pretty 
flower, stone a toad, or crush the head of a snake. 

The Romeria is a large fair. On either hand are booths, 
gayly decorated, dancing platforms, restaurants, and drink- 



CUBAN CUSTOMS. 383 

ing-shops. A long line of carriages made the circuit of the 
grounds, and numerous horsemen pranced around, riding full 
tilt without regard to those on foot, kicking up a dust, and 
making nuisances of themselves generally. Why are horse- 
men so anxious to show off? In no other position is vanity 
so demonstrative as on horseback. It is one of the weak- 
nesses of human nature. Every man thinks he looks better 
on a horse than his neighbor, just as one can poke the fire 
better than any other man. I speak now of the civilian 
equestrian ; in the army, the weak point is acting as adjutant 
on dress parade. I never saw an officer who didn't think 
that he excelled in the undulating grace and impressive dig- 
nity with which the adjutant marches forward, and announces 
— as if the ears of expectant nations were strained to catch 
the portentous words — " Sir ! the parade's formed ! " The 
renowned soldier, the most successful commander of armies, 
is not superior to this weakness. 

The displayed pretext for naming this festal gathering a 
pilgrimage was a figure of the Blessed Virgin, in an artificial 
grotto, clothed in gaudy robes, profusely decked with tinsel, 
and the object perhaps of some devotion, though we failed 
to observe any manifestation of piety in the sacred precinct. 
The Commodore, commenting on the dusky color of the 
face, said he never knew before that the Virgin Mary was a 
mulatto, but I remarked that every eye had its own idea of 
beauty, and to the devout the symbolized conception of 
sanctity was ever charming. Besides, the Jews were bru- 
nettes. The Madonnas seen in the galleries of Europe are 
generally fair, but they were idealizations of the painter. 
The olive skin and black hair may be historically accurate. 
The photographer was not abroad at Jerusalem. The head 
of John the Baptist was taken, but it was taken off before it 
was taken on a charger. 



384 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

The portrait by Carlo Dolce is usually adopted as the 
likeness of our Lord and Saviour, but there is no conventional 
limning of His Holy Mother, generally accepted, for the 
faces are as diverse as the types of womanly beauty, although 
the middle-age pictures have established a prevailing individ- 
uality from which there is no wide departure. Several of the 
faces of Madonnas by the old masters are said to be portraits 
of their mistresses. Therefore there was nothing incongru- 
ous in the dark complexion of this figure. To the eye of faith, 
it was pure as the orient pearl. 

We saw some quaint costumes, which are rare sights to 
the traveler in these days of conglomeration. What with 
steam, electricity, the facilities of travel, and a general rush- 
ing about and mixing up in the world ; the obliteration of 
race prejudices, the blending of languages, and breaking 
down of characteristic barriers that divided peoples, there is 
little to be observed in traveling, except natural scenery. 
The American has an opportunity to grumble at the stupidity 
of the Englishman, who, in his insular and obstinate self- 
sufficient knowledge of how-not-to-do-it, refuses to adopt our 
perfect system of checking luggage, which adds so much to 
the comfort of traveling : but the Yankee is accustomed to 
voyaging comforts which are luxuries in other parts of the 
world. 

Travel has become uninteresting and commonplace. 
True, we can taste the cold spring in the Giant's Causeway ; 
feel the spray of the water-fall at Inversnaid ; see Holyrood, 
Abbotsford, Windermere, and Nelson's Pillar, in broad Sack- 
ville Street ; the Tower of London ; the Pare aiix cerfs and 
little Trianon : we can stumble over the tapis vert at Ver- 
sailles ; and rumble through the tunnel at Mont Cenis, or 
take the breezy diligence over ice-crowned Alpine peaks : we 
can see the Leaning Tower at Pisa, and the Campanile of 



CUBAN CUSTOMS. 385 

Florence : we can laugh at the tiers of brown faces on the 
crowded vettura at Naples ; ascend Vesuvius, if we are fool- 
ish enough ; and see the bright green lizards darting from 
crevices in exhumed walls at Herculaneum : we can stroll 
Unter den Linde7i ; or hear Strauss lead his orchestra, mak- 
ing the beer-glasses waltz on sloppy tables at Vienna : we 
can marvel at the perfect harmony of the ceiled mosaics in 
St. Peter's, and gaze with wonder on the gigantic pen, which 
from the church floor looks like one of ordinary size : we can 
get sprinkled at the tricksy concealed fountains at the Villa 
Pallavicini ; or drink Mountain Dew and goat's milk from 
the flask of Kate Kearney's white-haired granddaughter ; or 
glide with Giovanni McPherson in his noiseless gondola, by 
the Lion of St. Mark's, and under the Bridge of Sighs ; or 
get carved rulers, boxes, and paper-knives from Claude Mel- 
notte at Bellaggio : we can see stolid boors in the streets of 
droning Amsterdam ; and watch the jabbering crowd of 
sailors at Marseilles, and think of Monte Cristo, Danglars, 
and the Chateau d'lf : we can be shocked by drunkenness 
reeling hideously through the streets of Glasgow, and look 
at the grotesqueries of the can-can in the Closerie des Lilas : 
we can buy watches at Geneva ; filigree-work at Genoa ; 
meerschaum-pipes at Trieste ; dainty egg-shell porcelain on 
Lough Erne ; and genuine Farina cologne-water under the 
shadow of the cathedral of lingering completion : we can look 
at the outside of harems at Stamboul ; and be interviewed 
by fleas in Cairo — which, it may be remarked, in passing, 
though Mussulmen, are no worse than their Christian cousins 
in Turin, which make no pretense of observing fast days, but 
gorge themselves on American fresh meat even on Fridays : 
we can stroll on bustling Monte Pincio, and view the surly 
Castle of San Angelo, and the dome of St. Peter's gleaming 
in the moonlight, taking lessons meanwhile in Italian, with 
25 



386 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

the Tuscan accent — bella luna and cielo, Orvieto, et cetera — 
if there should happen to be a noble young Roman matron 
present as teacher : we can see all these things, but alas ! 
from Omaha to Alexandria, all dress alike. The shears of 
the same Schneider pervade all traveled routes. The variety 
of costume, that once gave interest, is gone, save in out-of- 
the-way places. Picturesque costumes still nestle in unfre- 
quented passes of the Tyrol ; at Killarney one sees the cord- 
uroys, gray stockings, knee-breeches, extensive white linen 
shirt-collar, high hat, and cota more of the Irish peasant ; and 
sometimes in Rome a contadina, in bright costume, scarlet 
and black and yellow, like an oriole, kneels before the bronze 
statue of Jupiter, which now serves for St. Peter, and kisses 
the well-worn Pope's toe, with becoming reverence, first wip- 
ing off, with handkerchief or cuff, the trace of precedent lips. 
What a chance to watch some pretty girl and follow her in 
the salute, although brass is a non-conductor. I wonder if 
anybody ever thought of that on the spot. The osculated 
toe won't last much longer. It is pretty far gone already and 
will soon be a total wreck ; obliterated, wiped out in toto. If 
Uncle John were writing this he would make a pun about 
that toe ; he'll make fun of anything ; he has no regard for 
propriety. I don't know whether it would answer just as 
well to kiss any other toe, but they might have an artificial 
one made. Artificial arms and legs are fabricated, which an- 
swer the purpose, why not artificial toes ! They would be 
just as good to kiss ; although I don't go much on artificial 
kissing ; I want it natural. There are artificial eyes, but I 
never heard that anybody could see out of them, not even 
the "bully boy with a glass eye," known to fame for some- 
thing or other ; possibly as the man who struck Billy Patter- 
son ; eminent citizen, who has occupied a large share of in- 
terrogative public attention. The eyes of the patroness of 



CUBAN CUSTOMS. 387 

the Romeria were glass, and while there was no speculation 
in those eyes, there was much in the views of the Managers, 
for the fair brought in a handsome sum to praiseworthy 
charities, for which all honor to the projectors of the pilgrim- 
age ! with some merit to contributing patrons. 

While I assume a light tone and careless manner in treat- 
ing these things, I must not be understood as speaking jest- 
ingly of religion. I despise cant, hypocrisy, and bigotry, 
but I honor sincere faith of any kind. One may laugh at de- 
forming excrescences on a branch, and yet entertain strong 
admiration for the tree itself. There are some things that 
deserve to be satirized and condemned ; but I see nothing 
ridiculous in these religious representations, although unac- 
customed to them at home, where comparative simplicity of 
worship prevails. I portray them, therefore, as they strike 
one accustomed to less ostentatious ceremonies, in a country 
not yet wholly within the fold — notwithstanding the efforts 
of Monsignor Capel. In the United States, the devotional 
accessories are more in keeping with puritanical forms, for, 
deny it as we may, virile puritanism has tinged all creeds, as 
I have heretofore asserted in the matter of Sunday obser- 
vance, the only race contingent unaffected in our vast com- 
bined force being the German. The sturdy Germans adhere 
stubbornly to the habits of fatherland, uninfluenced by their 
surroundings. Some years ago, I had occasion to draw an 
illustration from this people, and I used the following lan- 
guage, which I have seen no reason to modify : 

" They are the best citizens we have in America; better 
than any other nationality of foreign birth, better than the 
average of native born. They are industrious, frugal, tem- 
perate, intelligent, truthful, self-reliant, manly, and indepen- 
dent. The German drinks his lager, pays his debts, lives with 
his own family, has no dyspepsia, keeps out of the poor-house 



388 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

and jail, and, most commendable trait of all, minds his own 
business. 

" The German is no hypocrite. If a Catholic, he hears 
Mass, if a Lutheran, he attends divine worship, on Sunday- 
morning, if a Free Thinker, he stays at home and smokes his 
pipe. He doesn't go to church because his neighbor does, 
nor profess to believe what he disbelieves ; he makes no in- 
sincere demonstration by attending a church to be seen, and 
using a mantle of fashionable religion as a convenient cloak 
in secular affairs. Sunday afternoon, the Catholic, the Lu- 
theran, and the Free Thinker meet amicably, in beer-gardens 
and other decent places of resort, and enjoy, innocently, with 
their wives and families, the blessings which have been ac- 
corded them." 

In the German Catholic churches of America, will be seen 
figures, emblems, and representations, which appear tawdry 
and out-of-taste to the English-speaking religionists, unused 
to the display. Thus we see in German churches the toy 
cradle and the stable of Bethlehem at Christmas, which is 
becoming adopted by degrees in the American places of wor- 
ship. 

But let. us respect faith wherever we find it ! This is the 
age of skepticism, of doubt and infidelity, the era of sneers, 
of disbelief in religion and virtue; a mean, hard, sordid, un- 
chivalrous epoch, and withal a hypocritical period ; which 
demonstrates La Rochefoucauld's apophthegm : " Hypocrisy 
is the homage that vice pays to virtue." 

The greater proportion of those who attend the Romeria 
are actuated by the motive that prompted us — curiosity, and 
a desire for amusement ; but if there are those who find in 
the gaudily-attired figure of the Virgin, with gilt-spangled 
robes, an object of veneration — let us respect the feeling that 
inspires devotion ! The wayfarer, kneeling at the roadside 



CUBAN CUSTOMS. 389 

cross in Brittany ; the devotee before the village shrine in 
Italy ; the hooded old woman, telling her beads with toil- 
seamed hands, before she goes out to earn her daily bread by 
weary toil, in the gray winter's morning, during the I.enten 
season, within the chilly walls of a New York church, repre- 
sent faith. Let us pay it homage, Messieurs the sneerers 
and scoffers at religion, the doubters of honesty in men and 
virtue in women ! There is such a thing as religion ; there 
are honest men ; there are virtuous women. True there are 
hypocrites as well, and there always will be. The devil 
lurks behind the cross. 

" Wherever God erects a house of prayer, 
The devil ahvays builds a chapel there ; 
And 'twill be found, upon examination, 
The latter has the largest congregation." 

It is fashionable to ridicule crosses, pictures, images, and 
the symbolical adornments of Christian temples of worship. 
This is wrong. They stimulate devotion. What influence 
so purifying and elevating as good music ! Yet the Puritan, 
who carries detestation of forms to excess, would banish the 
best, and worship with only the poorest, music. The Mar- 
seillaise fired the heart of the French people ; Die WacJit am 
Rhein is an inspiring strain to the Germans ; and the Wear- 
ing of the Green stirs the Irish-American blood into a patri- 
otic desire to vote the Democratic ticket, nominated by the 
Know Nothings. Why not grand music to inspire devotional 
thought ? What are the colors of his regiment to the soldier, 
for which he fights and dies ? He sees the flag of his coun- 
try ; his standard ; it represents patriotism, fidelity, courage, 
loyalty. It is the embodiment of noble and lofty ideas. I 
see that there is a movement on foot to do away with the 



390 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

colors in the English army. How sentiment is sacrificed to 
utilitarianism and economy ! 

The cross is the standard of the Christian army. It is 
a sreat consolation to the devout Catholic to make the sicrn 
of the cross when in peril. The next time you see Booth in 
" Hamlet," observe, when the Ghost appears, how Hamlet 
holds his sword between himself and the shape, hilt upper- 
most. The hilt is the form of a cross, and Haiiilct inter- 
poses the sacred sign before the spectre, as a safeguard and 
protection against an evil spirit. It is faith ; it is superstition ; 
it is beautiful. And yet the cross was a sacred symbol with 
some heathen peoples before the coming of Christ. 

I have heard men denounce pictures and lights and flow- 
ers in churches, who had choice paintings in their own dwell- 
ings, who lighted their tables with gleaming wax candles, in 
silver candelabra, and filled gold and crystal epergnes with 
fragrant flowers. Is not the sanctuary of the Most High as 
worthy of adornment as the residence of the usurer, built of 
flinty-hearted oppression, cemented with tear-mixed, selfish 
cruelty ? We object to a painting of the Crucifixion in a 
church, we consider it idolatrous to have Rubens' Descent 
from the Cross, or Murillo's Immaculate Conception, before 
us when we kneel to pray, while we place the portraits of 
father and mother on the library wall, and invest them with 
reverential regard. He would be a depraved man who could 
do any wicked deed with the reproachful eyes of a dead 
mother looking at him from the frame of her portrait. Ah ! 
the iconoclastic puritan has much to answer for in depriving 
religion of its sentimentality. He stripped off the covering, 
even to the bare bones of faith, and now the unprotected 
dry bones are crumbling. Soon practical unfaith will rule 
supreme with the multitude. Let the simple peasants of 
Cuba, then, do homage to the figure of the copper-colored 



CUBAN CUSTOMS. 391 

Blessed Virgin at the Romeria ! the emblem of womanly 
purity ; the incarnation of Chastity ; Star of the Sea ; Mater 
Admirabilis ! 

An attractive feature of the fair was the congregation of 
Catalans, in their native costume ; knee-breeches and toques, 
of green and red, prettily arranged in tasteful variety, and 
presenting, as they moved in groups, a fanciful, kaleidoscopic 
effect. 

We left before sundown, and met a long line of carriages 
in the road. It seems that the greatest crowd is in the even- 
ing, when the grounds are lighted up and there is a display 
of fireworks. The fair continues all night, and, although the 
hilarity is more demonstrative and crescendo as the hours go 
by, I am informed that there is but little intoxication, no 
fighting and disorder, and, while disreputable characters come 
out from their retreats in greater numbers under the shade 
of night, there is no indecorum. We certainly could not say 
as much for a New York Romeria. 



CHAPTER XXVIII. 

MR. POYNINGS ROGGSTER. 

In the Gulf Stream, April 22, 1884. 
Accompanying us on the carnival pilgrimage to Almen- 
dares, was an English gentleman, traveling in the West In- 
dies, and intending eventually to visit the United States, to 
see the country and enjoy a few days buffalo-hunting. Evi- 
dently he was not well informed regarding the westward 
stride of civilization, for he expected to hunt the buffalo on 
the banks of the Ohio, or somewhere in Michigan. The 
Commodore told him that buffaloes were getting scarce in 
the region of Detroit, but there was a place on Lake Erie, 
named Buffalo on account of its gamy savor, where he might 
find some sport with bears if he could strike a good guide. 
I said that I had myself seen the noble buffalo hunted on the 
banks of the Mohawk, but the animals came once a year, 
driven in by a famous hunter and army-scout, the Honorable 
Mr. Cody, Member of Parliament from a Rocky Mountain 
borough, who, because the bison is his business, has been 
nicknamed Buffalo Bill. Mr. Roggster asked about ante- 
lopes, which he had heard were numerous on the banks of 
the Susquehanna, familiar to him through Cooper's novels 
and Campbell's Gertrude of Wyoming, but we told him that 
they had been killed off during the war to feed our army, 
jerked venison and dried antelope-meat being part of the 
soldier's daily ration, except on Friday, when, out of compli- 
ment to the Sixty-ninth, smoked salmon was substituted. 



MR. POYNINGS ROGGSTER. 



393 



Elks were sometimes found drinking at a Dam near a forest 
in the centre of Manhattan Island, but it was against the law 
to shoot them without procuring a permit from the Head 
Rangers, Colonel Sellers, the military Chief Forester, and 
Bardwell Slote, a civil Member of Congress. Lambs are 
very good game when wild, but the boars were making away 
with them, although a hunting association, known as the 
" Lambs Club," has been organized for their protection. 
They occasionally find an American tiger to fight in Chicago. 
We imparted to our interested guest (with much reluct- 
ance, for we hated to decry our own country and hold up its 
foibles to foreign censure) a variety of vastly entertaining in-, 
formation not found in encyclopaedias and gazetteers. He 
marveled greatly at our political methods ; and was especially 
surprised to learn that New York aldermen were selected in 
Ireland, by agents sent out for the purpose, and were im- 
ported, and had their steerage-passage paid by the Govern- 
ment, just as the Mormon ranks are recruited in England 
and Wales, Ireland being poor missionary ground for the 
Mormons, owing to some peculiar scrupulous characteristics 
of the Irish women. He disapproved of the method of elect- 
ing members of Western Legislatures, as Buffalo Bill was 
chosen, by shooting at a mark and seating the successful 
marksman ; for, as he justly observed, a man might be a 
capital shot without possessing the necessary qualifications 
for a capital legislator. I said it would be a good thing if 
the members would only shoot the Lobby, but they don't ; 
they only make it come down. Uncle John claimed to be so 
impressed by Mr. Roggster's forcible and earnest argument 
on this question of representation, that he promised to pre- 
pare an article on the subject and have it published in the 
Police Gazette, a newspaper largely devoted to the illustra- 
tion of governmental problems, and the enforcement of puni- 



394 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

tory enactments, particularly the game laws regulating sport- 
ing. He had a misgiving, though, about his personal safety, 
as some sitting member, elected by the target companies, 
might resent his radical interference with the established order 
of things and shoot him for meddling ; but Mr, Roggster 
suggested that he might do it impersonally, just as the irre- 
sponsible editor slanders public men, whereupon Uncle John's 
mind seemed to be relieved of a great anxiety and he ex- 
pressed himself reassured. 

Mr. Roggster was a furious free-trader and attacked the 
tariff with much spirit. He commented severely upon the 
terrorism of public opinion which compelled candidates for 
office to burn large quantities of oil for the purpose of en- 
couraging home production of naphtha. I remarked that 
these students, not only wasted the midnight oil of kerosene, 
but also consumed large quantities of fusel-oil, in their march- 
ing through the paths of knowledge, guided by the subsidized 
torch which threw light upon debatable questions of political 
economy. Ours is a free government; we bring up the youth 
of America in the intelligent knowledge of politics; we drill it 
into them — fours left, column forward, march ! Boom ! Ah ! 

We disabused Mr. Roggster's mind of the impression he 
had received, from reading the newspapers, that Garfield was 
assassinated during an insurrection, organized by the Arthur 
revolutionists to get possession of the administration, after 
the manner of South American Republicans ; and explained 
that John Kelly was not an outlaw, the head of a band of 
desperadoes, like the Irish rapparees, but a reputable citizen, 
highly esteemed for the purity of his private life, and re- 
spected for his powerful influence — by those with whom he 
sided. We explained to him the workings of our judiciary 
system, which, framed by the learned jurisconsult, Lynch, 
Chief Justice of the United States, is the most expeditious 



MR. POYNINGS ROGGSTER. 



395 



and efficient administration of law to be found in the world. 
It is superior to the Justinian Code, the foundation of our 
lazy, inadequate common law, or the Code Napoleon. We 
are a progressive people, scorning the trammels of dilatory 
red-tape, and the celerity of this code is well adapted to our 
express use : it is C. O. D. Its judgment, once entered 
up, operates as an estoppel to further proceedings. There 
is no appeal for the defendant to a higher court ; the lynch 
is the conclusive higher law in itself. 

The freshness of that young man was tempered with an 
astonishing infusion of useful knowledge that would be 
looked for without success in the Dictionary of Phrase and 
Fable. When he inquired if the Irish did not rule America, 
I was forced to acknowledge that they did. Nearly all the 
policemen are Irish, so are the firemen, actors, pugilists, 
pedestrians, plumbers, porters, cabmen, and base-ball players. 
An Irishman was once Mayor of New York, but fortunately 
the Constitution, framed before the Hibernian invasion, ren- 
dered any but a natural born citizen ineligible to the office of 
President ; otherwise Parnell would be chosen, if the " Fara- 
downs " and " bloody Tips " could be induced to agree. Mr. 
Roggster said we had reason to be thankful for that, as the 
election of Parnell would precipitate a war with England, 
which would raise the price of American oysters and canvas- 
back ducks in the London market. 

Although grossly deficient in American geographical 
knowledge, and laughably gullible in his ready swallowing of 
our quizzes (we could hardly keep our faces straight while 
cramming him with absurdities), Mr. Roggster was evidently 
an old traveler, quite up to snuff, and, it may be said, to 
cigars also, for he smoked a quantity of the Commodore's 
Henry Clay exqiusitos, with a relish that evinced a critical 
taste in tobacco, rarely found in an Englishman, used to the 



396 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

Regent Street " Londres " brand. He dropped his h's oc- 
casionally, but it was not an habitual elision, and we attri- 
buted his vocal, lapses to contact with grooms and others 
where one insensibly absorbs imperfections of speech by de- 
filing verbal association. We had some idea of English 
capacity for drinking, but his success in this line was a reve- 
lation of enormous reserve force. From the ante of Lauds, 
and the Nones' libation, even to the Compline pileohcm, he 
was punctual in his devotions. As for eating, his exploits 
were simply Gargantuan. To see him get away with (I be- 
lieve that is the way to describe it, according to the Vassar 
College vocabulary) a porter-house steak, incidentally at 
breakfast, would excite the envy of a Chautauqua granger at 
a donation-party. He played euchre excellently, which was 
remarkable, as the game is comparatively unknown in Eng- 
land. Uncle John thought he could apply to him the com- 
mon remark that he played too well for a gentleman. 
Through the astute diplomacy of Minister Schenck, the great 
American game of draw-poker has become a naturalized sub- 
ject in Great Britain, and is now entitled to the protection of 
the American citizen. It is said to be a prime favorite at 
Windsor Castle, the Judge and Jury, and other haunts of the 
English world of fashion. If Schenck had but represented 
our nation (small a) when Almack's flourished, and in the 
palmy days of Crockford's, there might be no necessity now 
for Fenian invasions of Canada. He would have skinned the 
British lion alive, and long ere this, Sheffield and Birmingham 
would have been bid in by the O'Merhiadchaboo, on de- 
faulted " coups," and the gaugers would have been banished, 
like snakes from the ould sod, and sent to the State of Maine. 
I never heard that the game was introduced at Evans' cider- 
cellar. That old-time, just-before-midnight resort is closed. 
We shall never again drop in from Covent Garden Theatre 



MR. POYNINGS ROGGSTER. 397 

to taste the deviled-kidney, the broiled bone or Welsh rare- 
bit ; never more quaff the foaming ale, or thrip'ny-worth of 
" cold without," to the music of trained voices of the boy- 
choir ; never again tell the doorkeeper, as we pass out, what 
we have had and pay him therefor, he taking our word with- 
out question, greatly to the surprise of American distrustful- 
ness. I don't think Schenck introduced poker at the cider- 
cellar ; the only poker used there was in mulling wine. 

Our meeting with " Mr. Poynings Roggster, the Larches, 
Devon Hill " — for so his card read — was accidental, on the 
surface. He came alongside and inquired if we knew where 
the yacht Fortuna was, as he had letters for the owner. The 
Commodore invited him to come aboard, when he showed 
us the envelopes of his letters addressed to Commodore 
Hovey, some of them having the stamp of the United Service 
Club, London. With customary hospitality, the Commodore 
invited the English gentleman to dine with us, as dinner was 
on the point of being served. He accepted, after some hesi- 
tation, and had transferred from the waiting hack-boat his 
satchel ; an immense gray canvas traveling-bag, with the 
initials P. R. embroidered in monogram, surmounted by his 
crest, a boar's head erased, out of a ducal coronet. He said 
he had just arrived by the English steamer, was going to the 
Hotel Telegrafo, and stopped on his way to inquire for the 
Fortuna. We sat on deck, smoking the after-dinner cigar, 
when the Commodore suggested that it Avas hardly worth 
while for him to go ashore that night, and invited him to 
occupy one of the vacant state-rooms. To this the English- 
man demurred at first, saying something about his traps at 
the Custom House, but when it was urged that the office 
was closed and he could pass no luggage that night, he con- 
sented. 

The next morning he went ashore to look after his property, 



398 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

leaving that canvas receptacle, big enough for a hospital-tent, 
in care of the steward. When he returned at dinner-time, 
he said that his luggage was passed, but he had determined 
to leave it in the Custom House until he sailed for New York, 
as he had a few little toilet articles in his hand-bag that would 
answer his requirements. He made no motion to leave, but 
took to the state-room with as much nonchalance as if he were 
the Commissioner, its rightful occupant. When the Commo- 
dore and I returned from Mass, about noon the next day, he 
said that he had some curiosity to witness the Romeria and 
would accompany us. About this time there became visible, 
near the horizon of our contemplation, a dawning idea of 
English sang-froid, which we observed, but did not comment 
upon audibly, taking our revenge on the guest who made 
himself so much at home by filling him with bams about 
the United States, regarding which foreigners are know- 
nothings. 

It would be impossible to find one more at ease in the 
Romeria than was this English gentleman, so green about 
shooting and politics in America. Through the introduction 
of Mr. Redding, we made some acquaintances among the 
ladies and gentlemen in the carriages, but the inch of presen- 
tation became an ell of familiarity with Mr. Roggster. While 
chatting with some newly-formed acquaintances, Mr. Redding, ' 
placing his hand on my arm, exclaimed, " See there ; see 
where Johnny Bull is ! " and turning my eyes in the direction 
indicated, I saw the man with a good appetite and chronic 
thirst seated in a carriage, opposite a most beautiful girl, con- 
versing with as much ease and aplomb as if he were an old 
friend. " How the deuce did that duffer get there ? " said Mr. 
Redding (who has inherited from Phenician ancestry a dislike 
for the Briton); "she's the prettiest and richest girl in Ha- 
vana, and there that cheeky fellow sits talking to her as 



MR. POYNINGS ROGGSTER. 399 

familiarly as if he had known her a dozen years. She was a 
most charming creature, with a warm-tinted, fair complexion, 
light brown hair, and large purple eyes, glimmering with 
the velvety pansy look. We didn't approach while the son 
of Albion sat there, perched like a human Gibraltar to keep 
out other powers, but we vowed that another sun should not 
set with that audacious Anglo-Saxon as our guest. On our 
way back, while taking a glass of Manzanilla (a light, dry 
sherry, something like Rhine wine, very generally drunk 
here) at a wayside bibtilariitni, he remarked, with a complac- 
ent drawl, that Senorita Torini was quite a swell girl, much 
to his taste, and that he would cultivate the old man if he 
were not going to New York so soon. We glared at -him, 
but he was as unmoved as a fly in a railroad eating-house 
milk-jug. 

After dinner, Mr. Poynings Roggster asked permission 
to write a few lines " 'ome," occupying the saloon while we 
sat on deck smoking. He must have appreciated that he 
had become de trop, for when he joined us he expressed re- 
gret at being forced to go away that night ; and so took his 
leave, first filling his pockets with some especially choice 
regalia Britannica cigars, which he said coolly would keep 
him going until he could order some made according to his 
taste at the Carolina factory. We were glad to get rid of 
him on any terms, and our response to his acknowledgment 
of hospitality was a fervent, heartfelt speeding of our slowly- 
parting guest. The Commodore grumbled, " When you 
catch me again doing the polite thing to a strange gentleman 
with letters to another yacht, you may get me to buy a gold 
mine, go to the Legislature, or become keeper in a lunatic 
asylum." 

The next day one of the coracle-like boats that ply in 
the harbor came out to the yacht, and a tall, white-haired, dig- 



400 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

nified gentleman stepped on deck, and handed a card to the 
quartermaster, on which was engraved Sr. Jose Patricio 
Torini. He was accompanied by an interpreter who ex- 
plained what he had to say, but this did not convey the mani- 
fest agitation which he endeavored ineffectually to suppress. 
The gentleman placed in the Commodore's hand a sheet of 
paper, with the Montauk heading, the private and Club sig- 
nals crossed, in colors, which contained these lines ; 



TO SEROLENA. 

COMPOSED AT THE ROMERIA, BY HER FERVENT ADMIRER, 
POYNINGS ROGGSTER. 

A dainty form, with supple grace 

That sets one longing to embrace ; 

A lily hand, with tender clasp 

To nestle in responsive grasp ; 

A foot of faultless flexile mould 

For fairy slipper to enfold ; 

Eyes, lustrous, almond-shaped, benign 

(Which in my heart deep-mirrored shine). 

Pure blanched teeth, whose dazzling white 

Fills raptured vision with delight ; 

Brown hair, with sunbeams glancing through 

To light the charms which thick bestrew ; 

Red rose-leaf lips of kisses made — 

For him to pluck who's not afraid ; 

A downy cheek, that conscious blood 

Suffuses with rich, crimson flood, 

Then ebbs, in ling'ring lambent flow. 

To quench the tell-tale blushes' glow ; 

A head firm-poised on pliant neck, 

To mark the beauties which bedeck 

A face of chiseled classic cast — 

In memory shrined while life shall last. 



MR. POYNINGS ROGGSTER. 401 

The honey which the tongue distills, 
In laughing, sparkling, rippling rills, 
Might bring my bruis'd soul healing balm ; 
With soft assuagement, sweetly calm. 
Would she but deign to smile on me. 
From grief's enslavement set me free, 
I'd love her till eternity. 

The stately gentleman flew into a violent rage as the in- 
terpreter read off these lines in Spanish. It seems that her 
duefia had been bribed to hand the verses to his daughter, 
who, educated at a New York convent, spoke English per- 
fectly. Another billet, dated from the San Carlos hotel, was 
intercepted, asking her to make an appointment to meet the 
writer that afternoon in the Paseo. Senor Torini went to 
the San Carlos to find Mr. Roggster, but no such person had 
been there, and then he came aboard the yacht for an ex- 
planation of the letter heading. His daughter's name, he 
observed, was not Serolena, but Serafina. " Confound his 
impudence," said Uncle John, " why, he copied the verses 
out of my scrap-book while pretending to be writing a letter 
'ome, last evening. I wrote those lines, on the fly-leaf of a 
Cobb's spelling-book, or DaboU's arithmetic, when I was at 
Sanderson's school." I knew this was an unfounded claim 
of the gallant champion, for I had seen the verses in a news- 
paper myself; and anybody can use them, for every girl will 
recognize her own portrait in the lines, were she as ugly as 
Maritornes, as dark as a mulatto, and with the black horse- 
hair of a Iroquois squaw. 

The Commodore explained how the pretender had come 
in possession of the yacht note-paper, and after a time ap- 
peased the v/rath of the irate father ; who took occasion to 
say, however, that Americans must be very free and easy in 
their manners if they could take in a stranger in that way ; 
26 



402 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

whereupon Uncle John remarked that he began to smell a 
mystification, and, instead of taking the stranger in, he had a 
suspicion that the stranger had taken us in. The bouquet of 
the already-renowned new brand of dry champagne, the 
" Montauk," which is one of the yacht specialties, mollified 
Seiior Jose Patricio to such a degree that (first eyeing closely 
Uncle John's gray whiskers and my threadbare pate) he in- 
vited us to call at his house and be presented to his daughter. 
We made our excuses, pleading a prior engagement, or some- 
thing of that sort. In Havana they keep the girls cooped up 
behind grated windows, and, as Uncle John sagely remarked, 
there is little fun in that on either side. 

We sav/ no more of Mr. Poynings Roggster, but just as 
we were about to set sail yesterday a boatman came out and 
handed the Commodore this letter : 

"Calle Obispo {Roggster Evasif). 

"My Dear Commodore: A hundred thousand thanks 
for your bountiful entertainment. The prog and lush were 
prime, and the cigars — ah ! yum — yum ! I am about to start 
for Santiago de Cuba ; but one kind word before we part ; 
my boat is on the sea and I am on the shore, and here's a 
health to thee, my gallant Commodore, el cetera. ■ Let me 
advise you to give up buffalo-hunting in Michigan, nobody 
but a Sucker after Wolverines would go there. The Mohawk 
River buffaloes are all calves, across between a Utica second- 
growth Irishman and a bundling Spraker's Basin Dutchman. 
If Uncle John will send me his article for Dick Fox, on shoot- 
ing Niagara to get into the Legislature, I will correct the 
spelling for him. He is apt to overshoot the mark by put- 
ting in too heavy a charge of letters. I agree with you about 
John Kelly. I have known him well for many years. He's 
a good deal of a man. I don't know that he was born great, 



MR. POYNINGS ROGGSTER. 403 

but it .may be said of him truthfully that in early life he has 
borne grate. He isn't- a rapparee ; he's game to the back- 
bone ; he's a grate-setter — an Ii;ish setter. Besides, he is a 
self-taught scholar and untaught upright man. 

" Your Montauk champagne is superb. I can taste it yet 
(' the scent of the roses ; ' vide Moore). If it has a fault, it 
is too dry. I am not affected by the popular craze for extra- 
dry wine, which will have its run, like typhoid fever and roller- 
skating. All in good time, the taste will come back to the 
Juste milieu, good old Veuve Clicquot, for example, though 
if the Widow has a fault, she is a trifle sweet. All widows 
are sweet, if young enough. 

' Elderly ladies are apt to be tough, 
But when they've money they're tender enough.' 

" One of you may put this in the letters you write home 
as original, but it isn't. There's nothing original, except the 
charge that fellows are paid two dollars a night for carrying 
torches in political parades, which was first invented, to be- 
little the show, while the Israelites were having a procession 
through the Red Sea. 

" By the wa}', the redundant learning that lay around 
loose in your saloon, like the velvet sofa-cushions, cured me of 
dropping my h's. I can say humbug now as well as George 
William Curtis, or the big Injin who shoots antelope at the 
Madison Square Garden Avith the Elks Ball. There Gertrude 
of Wyoming waltzes with O'Conor's child. Thank the Gen- 
eral for boring me about orthoepy. If he should start a 
hobby-riding school to correct vicious American pronunci- 
ation (and it is abominable) he may put me down for one 
seat, with somebody else to occupy it, and pay for it, too. I 
left an old dictionary in the Irisli World ofiSce, which he can 



404 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

have when he returns to New York. No thanks ; I can a 
Ford it. It is one of Johnson's and would suit him, as there 
is nothing modern in the volume. I don't care whether you 
say ' knewspaper ' or ' noospaper,' so long as the Montilla 
holds out to burn, with gentle and seductive heart-swelling 
warmth. That Montilla, like the Montauk, is incomparable. 
I wish you would send some of it to the blockheads of the 
Union League Club (' Greeley ') and let them taste good 
sherry once. Their Amontillado — pooh — pooh ! 

" I hear that old Paddy Torini cut up rough because I sent 
Ijis pretty daughter some verses I found aboard the yacht. 
The lines are good enough, to the namby-pamby taste of the 
girls, but I could write better if I were not so lazy. To copy 
them I used the yacht paper ; it is the swell thing. But for 
an unpardonable piece of stupidity in the daughter of Ethiop 
who is her ditefia, I would have had a shy at the girl. You 
know I am a shy fellow (fire that at Uncle John ; it will give 
him an idea for a new pun ; he's running dry). Confound 
all thick-skulled-niggers, say I. Henceforth I am in favor of 
slavery. 

" Should I come across you hereafter, I shall be glad to ac- 
knowledge personally my obligation for your graceful hospi- 
tality ; which it will afford me great pleasure to accept again. 

"With kind remembrance of the cook (not in a pecuniary 
way) who contributed so materially to my enjoyment, I 
have the honor to extend to you the assurance of my dis- 
tinguished consideration. 

CORNELIUS O'FLAHERTY, 
Formerly evict of Trinity College, Dublin ; more recently fortu- 
itous contributor to, and irregular stipendiary of, the New 
York evening Press, and of any newspapers that paid. 

" P.S. — I Stop the press to state that the cards of Mr. 
Poynings Roggster, left in my state-room, need not be pre- 



MR. POYNINGS ROGGSTER. 405 

served. They are trumps no longer. Roggster fitit, 
O'Flaherty est. I can't say now what my name will be in 
fiituro. It may be Fippence the Tailor, when I get to South 
America where they wear no clothes, or William M. Evarts 
should I attend a palaver, or possibly Spinola, when I go 
down to my countrymen the Patagonians, who are said to be 
a choleric people. 

" Ta-ta, Sam ! 

"C. O'F." 

I don't know that it is safe for me to relate this episode. 
The Commodore will never forgive me, but the truth of his- 
tory must be vindicated at all hazards, as the scurvy Mul- 
ligan said when he sneakthieved Blaine's letters. Ice is cheap 
in Havana, only twenty dollars a ton ; though we were ad- 
vised to lay in a full stock at Curagoa, where it costs forty dol- 
lars, in order to escape extortion. It is artificial, made in 
fine, large, clear blocks. But what is all the ice in Havana to 
the coolness of the knight errant Cornelius O'Flaherty, alias — 
" Mr. Poynings Roggster, the Larches, Devon Hill ! " Good 
gracious ! how he played it on us. 



CHAPTER XXIX. 

FLORIDA. 

Departure from Havana — Cuba Pobre — Rotten Currency — Fishing — 
Mourning Pharos — St. Augustine — Jacksonville — Palatka — A Gentle 
Swear — A Cow Railroad — Minorcans — Fruitful Florida. 

St. Augustine, Fla., April 26, 1884. 
We sailed from Havana on the morning of the 21st, stopping 
to be boarded by the guard-boat from Morro Castle ; and 
then out into the Gulf, homeward bound ! As you may ima- 
gine, we were not in good humor. There was Roggster in 
the air, conducive to the gloomy view we took of Cuba ; 
which is in a deplorable condition. Business is depressed to 
an alarming extent. Trade doesn't seem to be flourishing in 
any part of the world just now, but it is worse in Cuba than 
in any other country. Prices of agricultural products are low 
everywhere, but sugar, which is the staple article of Cuban 
export, is cheaper than ever before in the history of the island. 
The cost of production is about four and a half cents a 
pound, the price received by the planter is three and three- 
quarters, with a prospect of still further reduction. A hogs- 
head of sugar is worth $24 less than it was last year. When 
we multiply the number of hogsheads by this figure of depre- 
ciation the shrinkage is enormous ; enabling us to appreciate 
the commercial suffering which exists. When I was here 
before, I visited the famous Toledo plantation at Mariana, 
one of the largest in Cuba, producing then 250,000 boxes of 



FLORIDA. 



407 



sugar ; the day before we sailed, I learned that the estate was 
hopelessly bankrupt. But Cuba might recover from this un- 
prosperous condition, which the whole world feels to some 
extent at present, were it not for the excessive taxation, 
which drains the life-blood of the island to support the army 
and enrich the officials. Corruption is universal, and public 
officers hardly take the trouble to hide their bribe-taking. 
Peculation confronts Cuba boldly ; grinding oppression stares 
her in the face, and bankruptcy is peering over her shoulder. 
I do not speak to disparage the commercial integrity of the 
merchants of Havana, but none but the very strongest houses 
of approved standing have much credit in the world. Busi- 
ness men desire to pay, but they lack the ability. 

The finances are wofuUy disordered. The Bank of Bar- 
celona had a charge on the customs receipts of $33,000 a 
day, which has been increased $15,000 by a new loan, recently 
placed, making $48,000 a day lien on the imports. With 
trade falling off as the present rate, the revenue will soon be 
insufficient to meet the fixed charges, and the government 
will be bankrupt as well as the people. The Municipality of 
Havana owes the Bank $180,000 and contractors $60,000, 
which it is unable to pay. Indeed, it is a sort of bankrupt 
dance all hands around. 

The Spanish Bank has a nominal capital of $8,000,000 
and an apparent surplus of $109,465.77. It has a circulation 
of paper, according to the last report, of $41,827,464.75, 
while the specie against which the paper is issued amounts to 
but $4,364,949.70. But the universal distrust is shown by 
the generally-accepted opinion among the people that these 
figures represent neither the actual emission of paper nor the 
accumulation of gold. It is a matter of common rumor that 
the circulation of paper is twice as large as represented, and 
that the specie is not in the bank vaults. Some estimate the 



408 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

paper money in circulation as high as $100,000,000. It is 
publicly charged that when notes come back to the Bank they 
are not destroyed, but are reissued, together with the new 
notes intended to take their place, so that there is in fact a 
repeated double issue. There is no confidence in anything. 
Gold is 250 — a dollar in gold bringing $2.50 in paper. This 
rag currency passes because it is for the interest of everybody 
to keep it in circulation for self-protection. So long as it is 
accepted, business can be carried on, but if any considerable 
number of persons should refuse, the most calamitous conse- 
quences would ensue. The paper wouldn't be worth much 
more than Confederate currency during our war, when it took 
a bushel of paper to buy a peck of corn. The size of the 
bank-note is regulated by its face value ; the smaller notes 
are of the ordinary dimensions, and increase in size with the 
denomination, a fifty-dollar bill being as large as a pocket 
handkerchief — not as voluminous as Senator Thurman's red 
oriflamme, but of the usual size. When the crash comes, a 
man with a big note will not lose as much as the small holder. 
He will have more paper on hand to light the fire with. 

There can be no improvement under Spanish rule, and no 
change in the administration of affairs by Spain can be hoped 
for. The country is ripe for insurrection, and Free Cuba 
may be within the range of possibilities. But it seems to me 
that the only hope for unhappy Cuba is in annexation to the 
United States. The island is mortgaged for all it is worth, 
and Spain might be willing to sell for the mortgage. The 
United States had better buy. There is a large surplus in 
the treasury, which is likely to remain there, unless it should 
be resolved to repair a war vessel, which would not only ex- 
haust all the funds, but would necessitate the placing of a new 
loan. Emulating the patriotic example of the generous Jew- 
ish bankers of Amsterdam, who bought our bonds at forty 



FLORIDA. 409 

cents on the dollar and sold them above par, I will contribute 
something if the country is hard up. I will revoke my gift 
to the poor, and donate to the Government, to be used in 
the acquisition of Cuba, the proceeds of lottery ticket No. 
17,361. 

The Gulf of Florida was entered on the 22d, and we had 
smooth seas, similar to the gentle waves of the Caribbean 
Sea, but no constant trade-winds, to blow with unvarying 
moderation. Here we began to look out for squalls. The 
boats that had hung from the davits all the way from Trinidad 
were taken on deck and securely lashed. The clouds were 
different from the fluffy round balls of the trade- wind regions 
and gave promise of the fitful cold breath that comes out of 
the north. We passed the light-house on Alligator Reefs, and 
soon were running along the Florida coast in view of the 
Everglades. We had fine success fishing off Cape Carnaval, 
catching plenty of Spanish mackerel, larger than any I had 
ever seen in northern waters, bonitos, mullet and red-snap- 
pers, with the inevitable devil-fish to intrude unwelcome 
presence. Unfortunately Lent was over and we could claim 
no merit for joining the tribe of Piscivo?'i and eating fish at 
every meal. It was quite exciting when all hands were on 
deck with lines out. The white planks were slippery with 
blood, as if we had been engaged repelling' boarders from 
some ruthless pirate of the Gulf. The sailing-master mani- 
fested much concern about the blood-stains until Uncle John 
assured him that a sprinkle of detergent would take out any 
spot, however deep. He said that if Macbeth had had a little 
detergent with him he wouldn't have been compelled to rave 
profanely about a little spot. " Why," said he, " a man with 
a package of that wonderful erasive in his pocket went into 
Chris. O'Connor's rooms one evening, and before he left he 
couldn't see a spot on the billiard-table." I am afraid Uncle 



4IO THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

John has lost his head by success as a punster. He has 
become an inventor. We may hear of him next summer em- 
ployed by a National Committee to get up facts for election 
purposes. No, he'll never get down to that. But he may 
try his hand at revising the Lives of the Saints, or Fox's 
Book of Martyrs. 

We saw several whales or black-fish such as congregate in 
the vicinity of Cape Cod. No effort was made to strike the 
big fish ; the harpoons aboard were not large enough. Uncle 
John said he had a plan to capture one if he wanted to. He 
would throw the queen of hearts overboard and, when the 
black-fish swallowed the pasteboard, he would play and take 
it with the king. "That's the kind of harpoon I am," said 
he. We fled in dismay. The jeiL de mot is becoming a 
monomania. One of the queer fish caught was the sucker, 
which adheres so tenaciously to an object with the back of 
its head that it is difficult to pull it off". Uncle John said it 
reminded him of my head on a pillow in the morning. I 
asked hirri indignantly if he intended to class me as a sucker, 
and he answered, somewhat dubiously, n-no. I'll get even 
with that reckless old joker. Wait till I meet him at the 
Yacht Club, on Madison Avenue, when I will get comrade 
Lawrence to join me and we'll pepper him mercilessly with 
quotations from Horace. Thus will we cover him with con- 
fusion. A turtle floated by with broad back bespread with 
barnacles. A quartermaster struck at it with a harpoon, but 
the point glanced off" and it dove beneath the water with the 
barnacles clinging, like clerks in the departments at Washing- 
ton. Uncle John whispered, " Nice bird ; turtle dove." How 
we long to be back in New York to escape the epidemic of 
puns ! An ugly-looking shark played around but didn't come 
within harpooning distance, and refused to be tempted with 
a luscious bait of delicious fat pork. It may have been a Jew 



FLORIDA. 



411 



shark, A little tired bird flew on deck, one of the sandpiper 
family, so exhausted by a long flight that it ran around the 
deck and railing, feebly fluttering from point to point. Wil- 
helm, our Dutch blackamoor boy, shipped at Curagoa, made 
several ineffectual attempts to capture it, until at length one 
of the sailors told him to put some salt on its tail. He pro- 
cured the salt and then crept around cautiously to apply it. 
We had a great laugh at his expense, until he turned the tables 
on us by appearing triumphantly with bird in the hand. 
Nothing is impossible to industry and perseverance. A silk 
purse has been made out of a sow's ear. Yet there may be 
impossibilities — to beat Uncle John at dominos, for example, 
or make a country minister talk common sense. Fatigue had 
more to do with catching the sandpiper than salt. I com- 
pared the capture of that bird to the collapse of the Southern 
Confederacy. 

We had thunderstorms on every quarter during the night 
but ran into none of them. It is strange that during all our 
absence we have never encountered a thunder storm. It is 
not the season of storms, but with all the hot weather experi- 
enced in the low latitudes we might have reasonably expected 
some electrical effects. Good fortune has attended us through- 
out. Lucky Montauk ! 

It was cold in the night, from the northerly wind, but the 
morning broke bright and fair with a coolish breeze, as we 
lay off the harbor of St. Augustine. A pilot came aboard, 
and as the wind was unfavorable we took a tow from the tug- 
boat Seth Low, which was employed in unloading a schooner 
with a cargo of ice, which had gone ashore. When the 
Commodore came to pay the pilotage, he surmised that the 
schooner went on the beach as a matter of economy, as it 
was cheaper to be wrecked than pay a pilot the regular 
rate. On the other hand, the hire of a tow-boat would be 



412 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK, 

nearly as bad. It would be a sort of financial Scylla and 
Charybdis. 

The light-house, at the entrance to the narrow channel 
over the bar leading to the harbor, is painted with alternate 
broad stripes of white and black, resembling a large column 
draped in mourning. I said that it was in mourning for the 
fraud by which Tilden was cheated out of the vote of Florida 
in 1876. This provoked a political discussion, which was 
tolerated, now that we had returned to the United States, 
where talking politics is one of the ordinary pursuits of the 
people, though it was subjected to an inexorable interdict in 
the heated tropics. The Commodore joined issue with me 
and fell back on the Electoral Commission, which had settled 
a vexed question and averted threatened public disturbance 
growing out of a disputed succession. I said that that was a 
case of biter bit, the projectors of the Commission thought 
it would result in giving Tilden the Presidency. The other 
side captured it and then the inventors grumbled about being 
cheated. I am not one of those, however, who run around 
sniveling about fraud. If the advice that a few of us gave 
had been taken, there would have been no necessity for whin- 
ing. I was one of the Presidential Electors from the State 
of New York, and the day after election I tried to strengthen 
Mr. Tilden's backbone and bring him up to the scratch. All 
that he required was a stiff upper lip. That is where he is 
deficient. He has plenty of brains but is shaky in the lip. 
In answer to my suggestion that it was necessary to put on a 
bold front, Tilden spat a mysterious mumble in my ear, and 
then sent the robust Ottendorfer down to overawe the 
bulldozers of Louisiana, and Smith Weed to outwit the astute 
carpet-baggers, spawn of knavish Reconstruction. No, I 
don't whine. If I detect a man putting his hand in my 
pocket I knock him down, and if I fail to do so, I won't offer 




LIGHT-HOUSE, ST. AUGUSTINE. 



FLORIDA. 413 

as an excuse that there is a law against assault and battery. 
Tilden was elected, and if he had stood up boldly the other 
side would have backed down. He held a good hand and 
the Hayes party bluffed him off with a bobtail. They raised 
him out on the blind. 

This is not the biased view of a partisan. The thing is 
over now and must be regarded as a matter of history. The 
Democrats were cheated, and deserved to be for their timid- 
ity. The Republicans had the audacity to perpetrate a 
wrong, the Democrats lacked the courage to maintain a right. 
It is well to remember these things. The trouble is that we 
only denounce fraud when it is against us. We can swallow 
any amount of cheating in politics on our own side, but we 
are very squeamish when it comes to the rascalities of 
others. 

"You are right," said Uncle John, " unscrupulous parti- 
sanship is the reproach of our country. The accepted motto 
seems to be that the end justifies the means." 

" Let the light-house remain in mourning, then," said I, 
" as a monument of disregard of justice and fair-play in poli- 
tics. Yet I suppose when the Democrats get in they'll want 
to ' paint her red.' " 

No doubt I am a bit of a scold. I have a way of talking 
out in meeting, even when the meeting is against me. Every- 
thing ought to be discussed freely and fairly. Sparks of 
truth fly from the collision of antagonistic opinions. The 
truth-teller is apt to be set down as an oddity by one side or 
the other. The mob is unable to discriminate between the 
bigot and the thinker who has the courage to avow his be- 
lief. The mob called Wendell Philhps a crank. The mob is 
an unreasoning animal. The populace of London mobbed 
John of Gaunt for upholding Wycliffe, when arraigned for 
heresy in attacking the temporalities of the Church of Rome ; 



414 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

the populace of London destroyed life and property in the 
No-Popery riots of Lord George Gordon, It was of the same 
popular composition ; in one case, the whim was for the 
Pope, in the other, it was against him. Abolitionists were 
mobbed in our country for opposing slavery, by the same 
multitude that afterward mobbed copperheads for favoring 
it. The mob is an unreasoning mass of vindictiveness, 
thoughtlessness, and clamor. Li our own land it is often 
composed of highly-respectable citizens who read the news- 
papers. 

There v/as a dress parade of pelicans on the beach as we 
were towed in, possibly a little reception organized on account 
of the Montauk, but we didn't go ashore to ascertain. We 
had a mission in visiting Florida. Before sailing from New 
York, the President of the Jacksonville and St. Augustine 
railroad gave me an annual pass over his road. It was to use 
this that we put into St. Augustine, and submitted to extor- 
tionate pilotage. I wasn't going to miss a chance to use a 
pass and get the best of a bloated corporate monopoly. It 
was an expensive free ride — that is to the Commodore, but I 
could stand that. We submit very gracefully to the extrava- 
gance of others for our benefit. A trip to Jacksonville gave 
us a delightful evening at the Club, with my old army friend 
Major J. H. Durkee, U. S. Marshal, whose level head equal- 
izes a little lopsidedness in the matter of shoulders, caused by 
losing an arm at Chancellorsville. The next day we went up 
to Palatka, a thriving village, with two railroads leading to it, 
the central point of upper and lower river navigation. Some 
of the most extensive orange groves in Florida are near here, 
one of the finest being owned by Mr. J. P. Brown, of Utica, 
in conjunction with his brother. The shade trees in Palatka 
are of bitter orange, interspersed with date palms. It pre- 
sents the features of rapid growth, the old and new being 



FLORIDA. 415 

jumbled together, as happens where progress is rapid. Stroll- 
ing around the town, we dropped into an extensive billiard- 
room and were pleased to see a scripture lesson on the wall, 
which ought to be displayed in other places as a reminder of 
the sin of profanity. It was in the Chesterfieldian vein, min- 
gling a lesson of politeness with the inculcation of a prohibi- 
tion contained in the decalogue. The text, hung up in a 
frame like the legend " God bless our home," read as fol- 
lows : 

" Etiquette of Mr. Cunneely's billiard-parlor. 

" Swearing over the billiard-table is as ungentlemanly as 
in the box at the opera or lady's parlor. Although a gentle 
swear may sometimes ease the troubled mind of a nervous 
player " — etc., etc., closing with a deprecation of profanity and 
obscenity as regular " Parts of Speech." The gentle swear 
is a most convenient easement to the conscience. 

Returning from Palatka, we crossed the St. John's River 
at West Tocoi to take the railroad to St. Augustine. Here 
we heard the mocking-bird singing in the tree. What a 
favored land ! with mocking-birds singing wild in the forests, 
and oranges so plenty that they lie rotting on the ground. 
It recalled the admission of the famous auctioneer Robins, 
that there were some drawbacks to the property he was cant- 
ing ; he had to own up to the noise of the nightingales and 
the litter of rose-bushes. The railroad to St. Augustine is a 
rickety affair; evidently built' for the purpose of affording 
employment to brakemen to drive cows off the track. It 
doesn't compare with the road on which I had a pass. The 
country is not thickly settled along the line of this superior 
road, although there is a place of nominal prominence, about 
half-way to Jacksonville. It is called Greenville, and consists 
at the present writing of a piece of pine board nailed to a 
palmetto tree. Greenville has a future. 



41 6 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

The soil all through this part of Florida is poor, fine white 
sand covered with scrub palmetto. This vegetation is of no 
value, although I learn that some process has been invented 
by which it may be converted into a tough and useful fabric. 
The St. John's is a noble river, majestic in appearance but 
shallow, like some United States Senators. At this point it 
is three miles wide ; the water is dark-colored from the drain- 
age of swamps which it intersects. The ferry-boat Louise 
conveyed us across in a highly becoming and deliberate 
manner. The vessel is not magnificent in proportion, but was 
able to accommodate the passengers quite comfortably. There 
were as many as five, all told. I do not feel it my duty to 
speak commendingly of the St. John's railroad, I had no 
pass over it. If I had been taken for a clergyman, I might 
have been offered a ticket for half fare, but, strange to say, 
nobody ever takes me for a minister. 

Jacksonville is a well-built, thriving city, giving every in- 
dication of business prosperity. The city proper is bounded 
by creeks, named respectively McCoy and Hogan, after two 
Spanish adventurers who came over with Ponce de Leon. 
The Fountain of Youth he sought is supposed to be the 
sulphur spring in St. Augustine. Some of Leon's party 
must have been buried under it. They were eaters of garlic. 

The weather is remarkably cool in St. Augustine. Fires 
were burning in the reading-rooms of the hotels. It is a 
sleepy old place, dull and inanimate. Nobody speaks above 
his breath except the negro, and he has a brake on his 
tongue ; he speaks broken English. The Cathedral is a ven- 
erable pile, of semi-Moorish architecture, erected during the 
last century. It contains a large painting representing the 
first Mass celebrated at the landing of the Spaniards under 
Pedro Menendez. It explains that " with religion came to 
our shores civilization, arts, sciences, and industry." I don't 



FLORIDA. 417 

think the intelligent members of the Free Church of Squash 
Hollow will believe that of familiars of the Inquisition and 
Mariolators. 

The public square or Plaza is a pretty little park, with a 
fountain, and a monument erected to commemorate the pro- 
mulgation of the liberal constitution by Spain, October 17, 
1 8 12. The inscription in Spanish reads that it was erected 
in eternal remembrance of that event, the Governor then 
being Brigadier Don Sebastian Kindalem, Knight of the 
Order of San Diego. This enclosure is called Plaza de la 
Constitucion. At one end stands a small stone building for- 
merly used as a slave market. In appropriate proximity 
(bane and antidote, for the men for whom it was erected were 
part of the rash and misguided army whose hands, lifted 
against the sacred temple of the Union, only succeeded in 
pulling down the disfiguring entablature of Slavery) is a 
monument, erected in 1880 by the Ladies' Memorial Associa- 
tion of St. Augustine, Florida. It is inscribed : 

In Memoriam. 

" Our loved ones, who gave their lives in the service of the 
Confederate States. They died far from the home that gave 
them birth, by comrades honored, and by comrades mourned. 
They have crossed the river and rest under the shade of the 
trees." The names of the dead are on the sides. There is 
no monument to the Union soldiers. I presume there were 
no Union soldiers from Florida — until after the war. 

Magnolia and orange trees abound. The streets are nar- 
row, and the original Spanish buildings, with overhanging 
balconies, of quaint construction. A picturesque ruin is the 
old city gate, the flanking square columns of which remain 
standing, with a small portion of crumbling wall adjoining. 
It is doubtful if St. Augustine was ever a walled town, as there 
27 



4l3 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

are no continuous vestiges of ruins. Fort Marion (Spanish 
name San Marco) is a fine work, constructed according to the 
most approved rules of defensive fortification, commenced 
over two hundred years ago. It is the oldest fort in the 
United States ; built of coquina, a solidified mass of small 
shells, of which a great quantity is mined near the sea-shore. 
This material is superior to ordinary masonry as a resistant 
to shot and shell, which will bury in the coquina instead of 
rending and splitting as in stone. There is no garrison kept 
in the fort, only a guard. The troops (four batteries of the 
Third Artillery) are quartered in handsome barracks on the 
shore of the harbor. 

The favorite promenade, extending from the fort to the bar- 
racks, is the sea-wall, built originally by the Spaniards and 
rebuilt, at large expense, fifty years ago. 

A considerable proportion of the inhabitants of St. 
Augustine are the descendants of immigrants from the island 
of Minorca, who came hither over a century ago. Many of 
them still speak the language of their ancestors, although they 
are gradually becoming merged as a contingent of the varied 
population. To some extent, however, they are distinctive 
in appearance and manners, industrious and frugal, their 
conduct characterized by purity of life and honest simplicity 
of character. 

I had heard unfavorable accounts of Florida ; as a vast 
hospital ; a place where invalids went to die ; where accom- 
modations were wretched, and a general system of imposition 
practiced on travelers. We arrived after the winter tourists 
had left, and there were but few strangers remaining ; but I 
am satisfied, from observation, that these stories (like the mos- 
quitoes and malaria in the next village, but none in ours) are 
unfounded. Florida is a fine State, with a healthful climate, 
and will in time take an important position, under the impetus 



FLORIDA. 419 

of northern capital which is flowing in and readily finds safe 
and remunerative employment. The hotel accommodations 
are imexceptionable. There are no hotels in northern cities of 
the same size that excel those of St. Augustine, Jacksonville, 
and Palatka. Florida oranges are the best in the world, and 
the railroad facilities are bringing into market strawberries, 
small fruits and vegetables, to the culture of which the soil is 
exceedingly favorable. If I could forgive Major Durkee for 
unheeding General Barlow in 1876, 1 would extend to Florida 
the assurance of my profound consideration. 



CHAPTER XXX. 

HOME AGAIN. 

A Red-letter Day — Song of the Legion — Homeward Bound — The May- 
pole — Drunkenness — Temperance ?7i-. Teetotalism — The Bible — 
False Prophets — Mohammedanism — The Bishop's Temperance 
Sermon — Puns — Erasmus in Praise of Folly — The Montauk Song — 
Finis. 

New York, May 4, 1884. 

Sunday, April 27th, is a day marked with a highly-illumi- 
nated letter in our tablets. Early in the morning we were 
agreeably surprised by the appearance of Major Durkee, Cap- 
tain Buckman, and Messrs. Jones and Driggs, who had come 
all the way from Jacksonville to pay us a friendly visit and 
participate in our devotional exercises. The hours sped by 
delightfully, and there was a larcenous lengthening of the 
day, according to the festive method recommended by Moore 
in the " Young May Moon." After breakfast we sat on deck 
and watched the guard-mounting, and Sunday morning inspec- 
tion, on the Barrack parade-ground. The band played ap- 
propriate music with much effect, the Prayer from Moses 
being notably well rendered. In the afternoon we attended 
the dress parade of the garrison, and I was pleased to find 
in command my old comrade General H. G. Gibson, wearing 
the shining eagles of the Colonel, which he has earned by long 
and faithful service in the Regular Army. Among the spec- 
tators was the Postmaster General. I wondered what he 



HOME AGAIN, 42 I 

could be doing down here after the " season." Looking af- 
ter the mails, I suppose. It is hardly possible that his visit 
had anything to do with the Republican National Convention 
next month ; yet I am prepared for anything in politics, and 
wouldn't be astonished to find the delegation from Florida 
(chosen the next day) turn up for Arthur at Chicago. Such 
strange things happen politically. 

It goes without saying (that is a brand-new phrase, which 
you never see running the rounds of the imitative newspa- 
pers, like "our parish" and such threadbare originalities) 
that the dinner was good. It was my birthday, and I was 
pleasantly remembered by the debonair Commodore in a 
felicitous speech, which I shall not report, as it was, like the 
chronic condition of my bank account, somewhat overdrawn. 
It was received with all the honors nevertheless, heartily and 
enthusiastically. Uncle John wanted to respond for me, but 
I forbade him. I knew he would be jocose, and I dislike 
levity on this subject. The birthday business is becoming 
serious. The family is growing too large. I think when 
one gets along in years, eighty, ninety or so, he ought to 
have leave of absence from birthdays for a decade, and 
then start over again where he left off. Gray hairs are 
venerable, but who wants to be venerable ! Still, where 
the church windows aren't tight, gray hairs are better than 
no hair. 

The evening was an edifying season of thanksgiving, 
from which we derived great personal comfort and satis- 
faction. 

Tattoo, played in harmonized parts by the garrison bugles, 
flew sweetly over the mellowing water ; a vesper hymn whose 
familiar strains brought back to Major Durkee recollections 
of camp-fires in the old Fifth Corps, with intermingled pleas- 
ant and painful experiences of the soldier's life. I thought of 



422 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

Averell's cavalry bugles at Harrison's Landing, of the tattoo 
which the " four Colonels," Woodbury, Cass, Black, and 
Skillin, listened to the week before on the Chickahominy, but 
heard not, with closed ears, on the banks of the James, and 
will hear no more forever. We cannot but think of the gal- 
lant soldiers whose light went out in the Seven Days — the 
romantic period of the war for the Union ; — of heroic endur- 
ance by an army unconquered in retreat, marching with back 
to the foe at night, but facing about and fighting with indomi- 
table front by daylight. We ponder on the selfishness, the 
mean intriguing for place and patronage, which thwarted the 
wise plans of McClellan, and prevented the success that 
would have crowned his capable generalship but for malign 
intervention of the aptly-described " knaves, hypocrites, and 
pretenders." Thoughts of the wrong and injustice they did 
must haunt the guilty minds of those who prostituted patriot- 
ism to partisanship and pelf; and Nemesis will surround their 
dying pillows with crimsoned visions of loyal blood shed un- 
necessarily through their machinations. As Major Durkee 
and I belong to the New York Commandery, we thought it 
an appropriate time to sing the song of the Legion, which 
we trolled forth lustily, disregarding the warning ''taps" 
sounded from the guard-house. But we are beyond the 
reach now of the order, " lights out ! " 

The arrangement, as a duet, which we sang is by the ac- 
complished musician, Dr. Joseph Sieboth, of Utica. It is 
different from the common version, " My Maryland," for the 
Doctor has restored the original German music. I am also 
indebted to my friend for the arrangement of the Loyal 
Legionier, sent in a previous letter. 

(From Miisikalischer Hmtsschatz der Deutschen.) 
(For greater effect the accompaniment may be played an 
octave lower than it is written.) 



HOME AGAIN. 



423 




SONG OF THE LEGION. 

DEDICATED TO THE MILITARY ORDER OF THE LOYAL LEGION 
OF THE UNITED STATES, 



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424 



THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 



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Quick their country's call to heed, 

Noble Loyal Legion, 
Faithful in the hour of need, 

Noble Loyal Legion, 
Glorious deeds of patriot band, 
Fighting for fair Freedom's land, 
Bright on history's page shall stand. 
Noble Loyal Legion. 

Laureled banners on the wall, 

Noble Loyal Legion, 
Tender memories recall. 

Noble Loyal Legion, 
Joys with sadness interwine, 
Hearts through humid eyes outshine, 
Tears perfume the merry wine. 

Noble Loyal Legion. 

Year by year the ranks get thin. 

Noble Loyal Legion, 
Few recruits are taken in, 

Noble Loyal Legion, 
There's no place for traitor knave. 
Sordid churl nor dastard slave — 
Vainly such admission crave. 

Noble Loyal Legion. 



HOME AGAIN. 425 

While of this heroic host, 

Noble Loyal Legion, 
One is left to drink a toast, 

Noble Loyal Legion, 
He'll remember days of yore, 
Loved companions gone before. 
Mustered on the shining shore. 

Noble Loyal Legion. 

Fill your goblets to the brim. 

Noble Loyal Legion, 
Join in the Commandery hymn, 

Noble Loyal Legion ; 
May the last Companion here 
When he sees grim death draw near, 
Meet him with bold Legion cheer ! 

Noble Loyal Legion. 



Captain Buckman, who served as an engineer officer in 
the Confederate Army, and planted some innocent shell-fish 
in Jacksonville harbor during the war, sang Benny Havens 
over and over again. It brought tears to his eyes at the 
thought of the old days, for he is a warm-hearted enthusiast 
and betrays the impulsiveness of his ardent Celtic nature when 
moved. It is refreshing to come across an enthusiast, in 
these cold, cynical, nil adtnirari times, when only vitupera- 
tion excites warmth. Small praise, but abundant blame, 
seems to be the fashion. Mr. Jones is the editor of the 
Times-Union, a Democratic organ, and Mr. Driggs is a 
member of the Republican Committee, so that we were equal 
politically, with an odd number in the assemblage. The bal- 
ance of power was held by Uncle John, a "fencer" of re- 
nown, who maintained it in eqitilibrio, with strict imparti- 
ality : he is a Republican who votes the Democratic ticket. 
The symposium was a period of uninterrupted joviality, fitly 



426 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

crowning with agreeable recollections our last night in port, 
before the final sail for home. The Commodore's impressive 
readings from Longfellow, with interjected comments (some- 
times inapplicable) by all the auditors, was an elocutionary- 
effort long to be remembered. Our guests left in the morn- 
ing, after a light early breakfast of fennel and an egg and 
rasher, bearing, we trust, their share of the happy thoughts 
which will cluster in retrospection around a day of undiluted 
pleasure in St. Augustine. 

There was but one drawback to our visit. We failed to 
bring away an alligator. The steward had purchased one, 
but we left it ashore. No well-regulated family ought to come 
away from Florida without an alligator. A young alligator 
is quite an entertaining pet. It is what the ladies call " cun- 
ning," ranking next to the young nigger and little pig, which 
are held in high estimation in this category of admiration. 
The destruction of alligators in Florida every year is enor- 
mous, and it is said that before long they will be nearly extir- 
pated. But if we failed on the alligator, Uncle John secured 
another pet in a mocking-bird, of remarkable merit as a 
singer, which he named Jim. 

Shortly after the departure of our friends, we sailed out of 
the harbor, the sun tipping with silver the steel-blue waves 
(false heraldry, emblazoning metal on metal), a fresh breeze 
serving to get us over the bar, and enabling us to escape the 
Seth Low, which we feared would be lying in wait to give us 
a tow, which would have made a heavy inroad on the Com- 
modore's treasure-chest. Everything seemed propitious for 
a quick passage. On the 30th we were off Cape Hatteras, 
and some stormy petrels sailed around, the first we had seen 
during the voyage. Their appearance is said to presage a 
storm, but we had none. They deceived us. I shall place no 
confidence in Mother Carey's chickens as storm-breeders 



HOME AGAIN. 42/ 

hereafter. Perhaps they had a gale on hand and reserved 
it for another vessel. If not, they, owe us one. But they 
needn't be in a hurry to pay ; we are not inexorable credi- 
tors. 

We saw here a fine sight, a large, full-rigged ship, under 
a cloud of canvas, from deck to truck, every sail set and 
drawing — main, lower and upper topsails, topgallants, royals 
and sky-sails. It was a graceful picture. The modern four- 
masted schooner presents an attractive appearance under full 
sail. 

May-day came in bright and warm. Uncle John pro- 
posed that I should put some artificial flowers in my hair and 
dance with him around the foremast as a may-pole, but I said 
no ; I wanted no floral crown ; like Caesar, I wore laurel to hide 
my baldness. He said he didn't see it, and I told him it was 
because I had neglected to employ the newspaper correspon- 
dents. 

We had a fine run of fifty-two miles in four hours ; then 
cold, baffling winds set in, and our next twenty-four hours 
showed a progress of but thirty-one miles. The returns came 
in unfavorably, showing heavy losses. The winds are uncer- 
tain, like the German vote. If I wanted to say something 
unjust here, I would quote Souvent feinnie varie, and com- 
pare the wind to variable woman, but I deny the truth of the 
saying. The Latins knew better, they made the wind mas- 
culine. It is the man who is fickle, the woman is true, faith- 
ful, loyal, and devoted. She always will be, unless she gets 
spoiled by voting, or knocking around promiscuously among 
men in unfeminine associations. You can't restore the bloom 
to the peach after it has rolled on the ground. 

During this calm, we had time for a good deal of discus- 
sion, and, talked over our experiences since last February 
with much earnestness. We agreed in the main, but our 



428 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

fondness for argumentation found wide scope during the idle 
floating along. One of the perplexing problems was to ac- 
count for the fact that during our voyaging, visiting English, 
French, Dutch, and Spanish islands, attending operas and 
carnivals on Sunday, we never happened to see a case of 
drunkenness. The Commodore accounted for it by the cli- 
mate, but I said if it was an atmospheric influence, New York 
City would be exempt from intoxication during the hot sum- 
mer months, which are as warm as the tropics in winter. Then 
the light wine and beer theory, which is advanced to account 
for the superior temperance of Europe, will not hold good, 
for we have been in places where they drink spirits ; where 
all the rum of commerce is produced. When asked how I 
accounted for it, I said : " My theory is that drunkenness is 
fostered, to a great extent, by excise liquor laws intended to 
operate prohibitively ; that is, instead of being a source of rev- 
enue merely, under proper regulations, excise is diverted to 
restriction. Excise means revenue, not prohibition. These 
have powerful allies in the ignorant anti-drinking societies, 
which make no distinction between moderation and excess, 
between temperance and drunkenness. They promote the 
evil they ostensibly essay to cure. Moderate drinking is one 
of the cardinal virtues — Temperance ; drunkenness is one of 
the seven deadly sins — ^Gluttony. The teetotal reformer 
jumbles them together and bespatters virtuous Temperance 
in his indiscriminating attacks on vicious Gluttony. It is no 
merit to abstain entirely from the use of intoxicants, unless 
the abstainer has a dangerous longing which might lead him 
to excess, in which case abstention is an effort of self-denial 
which entitles him to the same credit he would earn by im- 
posing restraint on any other inordinate appetite. But the 
person who has no taste for liquor and takes a vow of total 
abstinence has no merit as the exemplar of a Christian virtue. 



HOME AGAIN. 429 

for the simple reason that total abstinence from intoxicating 
liquors is not a Christian virtue, any more than total absti- 
nence from pork and beans would be : not so much if one 
were fond of pork and beans to excess, and didn't care for 
liquor. 

"There is a class of busybodies, meddlers, fanatics, and 
bigots who have set up the modern heresy that there is some- 
thing unchristian in drinking. They call themselves temper- 
ance men, or temperance menwomen, as the case — or rather 
gender — may be. This is a misnomer. Temperance doesn't 
mean total abstinence. It means moderation. Here is the 
authority of the lexicographers : 

"Webster defines ' Temperance, Habitual moderation in 
regard to the indulgence of the natural appetites and passions ; 
restrained or moderate indulgence ; moderation ; as temper- 
ance in eating and drinking ; temperance in the indulgence of 
joy or mirth.' 

"Worcester gives this definition: ' Temperance, Moder- 
ation ; opposed to any improper indulgence, but especially 
to dncnkenness and gluttony ; sobriety ; soberness.' 

" ' Observe 
The rule of not too much, by temperance taught, 
In what thou eat'st and drink'st.' — MiLTON. 

" But the professional teetotaler parades himself ostenta- 
tiously as a temperance man, when he is really nothing of the 
sort ; he is an intemperate extremist. Teetotalism is the 
frigid zone, Temperance the temperate. Drunkenness the tor- 
rid. The two extremes are teetotalism and drunkenness, the 
golden mean is temperance, moderate eating and drinking. 

" Yet these sciolous agitators will insist that they have a 
right to establish a Christian prohibition of drinking intoxi- 



430 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

eating liquors. They usurp the prerogative of Christ and 
His Church in laying down the law. They are of the same 
class as those who quote the Decalogue, relating to the ob- 
ligatory Jewish Sabbath, to enforce the observance of the 
optional Christian Sunday. They organize associations which 
they style Christian Temperance (meaning teetotal) societies, 
the fundamental principle of which is that prohibition of 
drinking is part of Christianity. This is misleading assumption. 
Christianity inculcates temperance, or moderate drinking, 
teetotalism is total-abstinent Mohammedism. The believer 
in the Bible drinks, if he wants to, the votary of the Koran 
is a teetotaler, a prohibitionist. There is not a line in the 
Bible that prohibits drinking in terms, unless it be in the 
one quotation I shall make presently. Drunkenness is de- 
nounced, but moderate drinking is encouraged. It is said 
that you can prove anything by the Bible, but there is one 
thing that cannot be found in it — a text absolutely prohibit- 
ing drinking. There are many that commend it. For ex- 
ample : 

" Psalms civ. 15 : ' And wine that maketh glad the heart 
of man.' 

" Proverbs xxxi. 6: ' Give strong drink unto him that is 
ready to perish, and wine unto those that be of heavy 
hearts.' 

" ' Let him drink and forget his poverty, and remember 
his misery no more.' 

"Judges ix. 13: 'And the vine said unto them. Should I 
leave my wine, which cheereth God and man, and go to be 
promoted over the trees ? ' 

" These texts could be multiplied, but they are enough 
for the purpose. I know you can find others, such as ' wine 
is a mocker,' and ' look not upon wine when it is red,' but 
these shafts are directed against immoderation. 



HOME AGAIN. 43 1 

" I can find but one text which would give color to this 
assumption of positive prohibition, and even this is suscept- 
ible of a different interpretation : ' But they who believe, and 
who fly for the sake of religion, and fight in God's cause, 
they shall hope for the mercy of God ; for God is gracious 
and merciful. They will ask thee concerning wine and lots : 
Answer, In both there is great sin, and also some things of 
use unto men ; but their sinfulness is greater than their use. 
Satan seeketh to sow dissension and hatred among you, by 
means of wine and lots, and to divert you from remembering 
God, and from prayer : will ye not therefore abstain from 
them ? ' 

" This is not a command ; it is simply a request, and to 
make it prohibitive is a strained construction. 

" But drunkenness is a horse (or pig) of another color from 
temperate drinking. So far from intolerance in this matter, 
a little lushing was probably not regarded as out of the way 
after Christianity was formally established and promulgated 
in the use of wine at the Last Supper. Before that, the 
Saviour of Mankind was stigmatized as a winebibber, a friend 
of publicans and sinners ; as we find by Matt. xi. 19. The 
modern pharisees keep up the cry against publicans and sin- 
ners. My reason for believing that it wasn't unusual for the 
good fellows to get shghtly fuddled in those days, is found in 
the Acts of the Apostles. After they were all filled with the 
Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, the 
Jews, in order to get a hitch on them, accused them of being 
drunk ; an amiable practice kept up to this day by liars and 
slanderers. Here is the text : 

" Acts ii. 13. ' Others mocking said, These men are full of 
new wine. 

"14. ' But Peter, standing up with the eleven, lifted up 
his voice, and said unto them, Ye men of Judea, and all ye 



432 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

that dwell at Jerusalem, be this known unto you, and hearken 
to my words : 

"15. ' For these men are not drunken, as ye suppose, see- 
ing it is but the third hour of the day.' 

" It will be seen that St. Peter didn't ask the mob to accept 
his naked denial ; he backed it up with a convincing physical 
argument. It was too early in the day for the Apostles to be 
slewed. Later on, he wouldn't speak so confidently. 

" These Christian temperance persons will argue with you 
that the wine of the Bible was unfermented and unintoxicat- 
ing ; and in the next breath will quote the Scriptures against 
drunkenness, which they ignorantly or maliciously confound 
with temperate drinking. If it was not intoxicating, how 
could the sinners get drunk ? The fact is all wine is intoxi- 
cating ; if it were not, it wouldn't be wine at all. The sub- 
stance must be fermented to become wine. The exceptional 
prohibitory case before referred to is the command to Aaron, 
Leviticus x. 9 : ' Do not drink wine nor strong drink, thou, 
nor thy sons with thee, when ye go into the tabernacle of the 
congregation.' 

" This applies exclusively to the priests, and is restricted 
in time and place. Those of us who are priests, and go into 
the tabernacle, must abstain, but when we come out, there is 
no command against taking a modest quencher, as Swiveller 
would say. 

" It is no wonder that the faith of the people is destroyed 
when false prophets arise and pretend that the Christian re- 
ligion makes it sinful to drink. Yet there are some conven- 
ticles, or conferences (I don't know what they call these 
things) which will not permit a man to enter Heaven, through 
the particular gate they have charge of, if his breath smells 
of liquor. So the members of those persuasions or ' societies ' 
drink on the sly, and eat cloves and cardamom seeds. Others 



HOME AGAIN, 433 

rule a man out of Heaven for using tobacco. I think myself 
St. Peter ought to draw the line at chewing. There is no 
more wrong in drinking a glass of good whisky than in eating 
a piece of bread. Any other belief is heresy. 

" The reason why there is comparatively so little drunken- 
ness in other countries is that nobody thinks of prohibiting 
the use of liquor ; but few get drunk, if we measure by the 
American standard. Public opinion is in favor of drinking ; 
public opinion frowns on intoxication. In our country, the 
loathsome drunkard, rolling in the gutter, glances through 
the window at a gentleman drinking a glass of wine at din- 
ner, and yells out : * You drink and so do I ; there are two 
of us.' Then the humanitarian (a vicious word etymologi- 
cally in the sense in which it is generally used, but probably 
correct in its employment here, for it means one who denies 
the divinity of Christ) slaps the miserable glutton on the 
shoulder and sniffles : ' You are right, my poor, weak, suf- 
fering brother. Keep on getting drunk so long as the gen- 
tleman keeps drinking and staying sober. You have as much 
right to drink as he has. You support my business of de- 
nouncing the saloon-keeper for making you drunk. Stay 
drunk ! ' 

" It is useless to theorize on these matters. Drunkenness 
is a horrible evil, but pseudo-reformers don't take the right 
course to suppress it, even if they want to, which is doubtful. 
Their occupation would be gone ; they would lose the 
frightful examples. There must be some object of denuncia- 
tion to keep up interest in the churches. So, when there are 
no serious conjElagrations, opportune railroad accidents, or 
frightful steamboat disasters to preach about, in star engage- 
ments, there is always left the stock business of iniquity in 
rum-selling, with the Bible lugged in occasionally by way of 
variety. Drunkenness is horrible. When the Lord wanted 
28 



434 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. . 

to cause destruction to the world He used the type of the 
wine-cup of fury to the prophet Jeremiah. There is a story 
told of a monk, to whom Satan offered a choice of sins — in- 
cest, murder, or drunkenness. The poor monk chose the last, 
as the least of the three ; and, when he was drunk, he com- 
mitted the other two. 

" In countries where there are no prohibitory laws, and no 
temperance (!) societies, there is but little intoxication ; it 
flourishes with prohibitive excise laws. This is the fact, and 
one can draw his own inference. I may be wrong in my de- 
duction. I am about as apt to be wrong as right on any sub- 
ject. I know that these views are not in accord with those 
that obtain generally in the community, but many thinking 
persons will agree with me. The mass doesn't think. A man 
gets drunk and commits a crime. Then the unthinking mob 
howls, Prohibit the sale of liquor ! It is an impracticability. 
The only way to prevent the use of liquor would be to make 
it a matter of religion as the Mohammedans do. The so- 
called temperance advocates attempt to make it a matter of 
Christian religion, but, unfortunately for them, it is inconsis- 
tent with Christianity. To use the political simile, which a 
majority of religionists understand better than they, do the 
Bible, there is no room in the Christian platform for a liquor- 
prohibition plank. The Christian system is a Divine revela- 
tion, and there is no revelation against drinking. All through 
the Bible the use of wine in moderation is approved. To sum 
up, Temperance is a virtue. Drunkenness is a vice. It is a 
detestable form of Gluttony. Christ came on earth nineteen 
hundred years ago, this Christian Temperance business was 
unknown until within the past fifty years. Perhaps Our 
Saviour didn't know the law of His own promulgation." 

" If you talk that way when you get home," said Uncle 
John, " you'll have the churches come down on you." 




SOUTH AMERICAN INDIANS. 



HOME AGAIN. 435 

"Well let them come," said I ; " I think I can hold my 
own in the argument. The great trouble with us is that we 
lack the courage to maintain intelligent opinions against the 
assumptions of those who claim to be holier than we. Truth 
is truth, whether clothed in black broadcloth and white 
choker, or in blue kerseymere and red scarf with a diamond 
pin. The difficulty is, we are afraid of Tartuffe, Mawworm, 
and Stiggins. Let a man be a teetotaler if he wants to. It 
is his own affair. But he musn't insist upon every other man 
being one. Because I don't want it, you mustn't have it. 
He can't fit his bridle to every mouth. In Sir Thomas 
More's laws of the Utopians, it is provided that no man shall 
be punished for religion, ' it being a fundamental opinion 
among them that a man cannot make himself believe any- 
thing he pleases.' And this great chancellor and renowned 
scholar, a rigid Roman Catholic, was so honest and conscien- 
tious that he let Henry VIII. cut off his head rather than 
acknowledge the right of the king to divorce and marry at 
will. 

" One of the most unique practical temperance sermons 
is that given by Dr. Doran, in his ' Table Traits,' preached 
by a simple German prelate, the Bishop of Treves, evidently 
on the banks of the Rhine. He said : 

" * Brethren, to whom the high privilege of repentance and 
penance has been conceded, you feel the sin of abusing the 
gifts of Providence. But, abiiswn noii tollit usmn. It is 
written, "Wine maketh glad the heart of man." It follows, 
then, that to use wine moderately is our duty. Now there 
is, doubtless, none of my male hearers who cannot drink his 
four bottles without affecting his brain. Let him, however — 
if by the fifth or sixth bottle he no longer knoweth his own 
wife— if he beat and kick his children, and look on his dear- 
est friend as an enemy — refrain from an excess displeasing to 



43^ THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

God and man, and which renders him contemptible in the 
eyes of his feUows. But whoever, after drinking his ten or 
twelve bottles, retains his senses sufficiently to support his 
tottering neighbor, or manage his household affairs, or exe- 
cute the commands of his temporal and spiritual superiors, 
let him take his share quietly, and be thankful for his talent. 
Still, let him be cautious how he exceed this ; for man is 
weak, and his powers limited. It is but seldom that our 
kind Creator extends to any one the grace to be able to 
drink safely sixteen bottles, of which privilege he hath held 
me, the meanest of his servants, worthy. And since no one 
can say of me that I ever broke out in causeless rage, or 
failed to recognize my household friends or relations, or neg- 
lected the performance of my spiritual duties, I may, with 
thankfulness and a good conscience, use the gift which hath 
been entrusted to me. And you, my pious hearers, each 
take modestly your alloted portion ; and, to avoid all excess, 
follow the precept of St. Peter — Try all, and stick by the 
best ! ' " 

I talked very seriously to Uncle John about his unfortu- 
nate propensity to make puns, which I regard as a blemish 
on his otherwise blameless character, but he would not be 
convinced. On the contrary, he contended that, while the 
dullard, unable to coin them, affected to turn up his stupid 
nose at these witticisms, they were held in high repute by the 
bel esprit. Said he : " Look here ; you have been casting at 
me old wives' fables, musty proverbs and quotations in Latin, 
Greek, French, and Italian, which you probably dug out of 
the dictionary, and now I'll hurl at you an original, neat 
description of the pun, and see if you can rival it with your 
wordy exhumations. The pun hits the nail on the head ; it 
is the veritable remacutetigistical condensation of verbalistic 
exploitation. What do you say to that ? " 



HOME AGAIN. 437 

"Nothing," I answered; "it is a dumfounding sock- 
dolager." 

" Puns," resumed Uncle John, "spring forth spontane- 
ously. I can't stop them. They are like the effervescing 
bubbles of champagne. 

" ' True wit is nature to advantage dress'd, 

What oft was thought, but ne'er so well express'd.' " 

" If you are going to quote Pope," I said, " I'll try a few 
lines on you. 

" ' Vice is a monster of so frightful mien, 
As, to be hated, needs but to be seen ; 
Yet seen too oft, familiar with her face, 
. We first endure, then pity, then embrace.' 

I have listened so much to your punning that I am becoming 
fearful of contagion ; I am already in a state of endurance, 
and may end by embracing puns myself." 

" You needn't be afraid," sarcastically remarked the ver- 
balist, " you'll never be a punster. Nature didn't gift you 
with the requisite bright intellect and ready tongue. You 
lack the dWine a ffiatzis . Punster nascitur, non fit (there, you 
see, I can quote as well as you when I want to, but I prefer 
to be original). You may get off something occasionally if 
you stick to me, but your jokes will be valuable only for the 
novelty. They won't be good, but that you can make any 
will excite surprise. They will be like flies in amber. 

" ' Pretty ! in amber to observe the forms 

Of hairs, or straws, or dirt, or grubs, or worms ! 
The things, we know, are neither rich nor rare, 
But wonder how the devil they got there.' " 

" Mercy, " I cried, " I give it up. No more contests with 
you. You have been saving yourself for one grand final 



438 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

effort by which I am routed, ' horse, foot, and dragoons,' 
You have cured me of big words and quotations. I renounce 
them with all their works and pomps." 

But he wouldn't let me off. The ancient mariner seized 
my button-hole, with skinny hand, and carried the war into 
Hibernia. He said, " One of the popular stupidities is to 
associate wisdom with reticence and stilted dignity of deport- 
ment. If one is bright, cheerful, agreeable, a sayer of good 
things, he is set down as shallow and frivolous, but a dunder- 
head may get credit for gumption by wearing a thick suit of 
gravity." 

" Yes," I interrupted, " gravity is a mystery of the body 
invented to conceal the defects of the mind." 

"Never mind that," resumed Uncle John; "Sophocles 
was not far out of the way, in one view, when he said that ' to 
know nothing is the sweetest life.' You talk about trifling 
things. There are no such things as trifles in the world. The 
smallest events have their influence. Indeed, the destinies of 
the world are influenced by what are called trifles. There 
has been a great parade of Napoleon's blowing out one of 
the candles. I think it was a mean thing for him to do, but 
he was always a demagogue, although the greatest man that 
ever lived, and practiced that little bit of economy to get his 
name in the papers. 

" There is often much wisdom in folly. Let me read you 
what the learned monk Erasmus wrote, dedicatory of his 
great work ' In Praise of Folly,' to the erudite Sir Thomas 
More : 

" ' And it is a chance if there be wanting some quarrelsome 
persons that will show their teeth, and pretend these fooleries 
are either too buffoon-like for a grave divine, or too satyrical 
for a meek Christian, and so will exclaim against me as if I 
were vamping up some old farce, or acted anew the Lucian 



HOME AGAIN. 439 

again with a peevish snarHng at all things. But those who 
are offended at the lightness and pedantry of this subject, I 
would have them consider that I do not set myself for the 
first example of this kind, but that the same has been oft done 
by many considerable authors. For thus several ages since, 
Homer wrote of no more weighty a subject than of a war be- 
tween the frogs and mice, Virgil of a gnat and a pudding- 
cake, and Ovid of a nut. Polycrates commended the cruelty 
of Busirus ; and Isocrates, that corrects him for this, did as 
much for the injustice of Glaucus. Favorinus extolled Ther- 
sites, and wrote in favor of a quartan ague. Synesius pleaded 
in behalf of baldness ; and Lucian defended a sipping fly. 
Seneca drollingly related the deifying of Claudius ; Plutarch 
the dialogue between Gryllus and Ulysses ; Lucian and 
Apuleius the story of an ape ; and somebody else records the 
last will of a hog, of which St. Hierom makes mention. So 
that if they please, let themselves think the worst of me, and 
fancy to themselves that I was all the while a-playing at push- 
pin or riding astride on a hobby-horse.' " 

" Forbear, rash man ! " I exclaimed, " I can submit to a 
good deal, but when you come to launch Erasmus at me, I 
have done. Go on with your joking ; be as funny as you 
can ! Erasmus ! Holy smoke ! as Aleck Taylor said when 
he saw a bishop light a cigar aboard the steamer America." 
Exeunt confabulations. 

I became homesick at the thought of parting with Uncle 
John. He was anxious to get home, but I have none to go to, 
and the yacht has become a sort of home to me during these 
months of pleasant companionship, lightening care, and shed- 
ding the cheerful glow of hearty and sympathetic communion. 

After a tedious wrestle with a head-wind and retarding 
fog, we sighted the Five Fathom light, off Cape May, on the 
second, and on the afternoon of the third we made the High- 



440 THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 

land lights, and, passing Sandy Hook after dark, sailed up to 
our old anchorage, singing, as we went through the Narrows, 

THE MONTAUK SONG. 

When we come sailing back again, 

Hurrah ! Montauk ! 
From cruising on the Spanish Main, 

Hurrah ! Montauk ! 
As we cast anchor in the Bay 
We'll hear the jolly boatmen say, 
Oh, welcome home in merry May 

The peerless yacht Montauk 1 

We'd nasty weather in Gulf Stream, 

Hurrah ! Montauk ! 
We heard the wild waves' vengeful scream, 

Hurrah ! Montauk ! 
When Rugry waves our brave craft struck 
She met them with unflinching pluck — 
She rode the waters like a duck. 

The peerless yacht Montauk. 

Bermudian hospitality, 

Hurrah ! Montauk ! 
Outstretched warm hearts with hands so free. 

Hurrah ! Montauk ! 
Bold yachtsmen cheered with three times three 
The flag of New York's yacht navy — 
And pretty girls came out to see 

The peerless yacht Montauk. 

' We met among West Indian isles, 

Hurrah ! Montauk ! 
Kind greeting words and genial smiles ; 

Hurrah ! Montauk ! 
And now we're here to sing the song. 
That winds and waves will chorus strong — 
May victories her fame prolong ! 

The peerless yacht Montauk. 



HOME AGAIN. 441 

Before departure we had fixed May first for the date of our 
return. We were not far out of the way. Half an hour before 
midnight, on the third, some welcoming hghts were displayed 
from yachts in the Bay ; we came to anchor off Stapleton, 
Uncle John (the ruling passion strong to the end) shouting, 
as the chain ran through the hawse-hole, " Halloo, Mr. 
Breitfeld, you've dropped something " — and so ended 



THE CRUISE OF THE MONTAUK. 










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